• Published 15th Dec 2012
  • 8,899 Views, 142 Comments

Brotherly Love - fluttershywriter



Fluttershy's brother, a strong, confident, handsome stallion, visits Ponyville. Fluttershy, who's always been jealous of her brother, finds herself growing more and more upset as he outdos her at everything.

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Brotherly Love

It wasn't out of the ordinary for Fluttershy to speak very little for hours at a time. As her name indicated, she wasn't always at ease around other ponies. So nopony took much notice when Fluttershy barely talked when she met her friends at Sugarcube Corner. However, it was a bit hard to ignore the way that Fluttershy cringed when Applejack made a mention of Big Macintosh, or when Twilight Sparkle casually said that Shining Armor might be visiting town sometime soon.

"Are you all right, Fluttershy?" asked Twilight Sparkle, giving her a sideways glance. "You look kinda . . . nervous."

"Twitchy," added Rainbow Dash, snickering.

"I'm not twitchy," said Fluttershy pointedly, her left eye twitching violently. Her voice scaled upwards as she went on, taking on a somewhat insane tone. "I think it's completely wonderful that Twilight Sparkle and Applejack have brothers! Brothers are completely wonderful! Are you insinuating that I don't like brothers?"

"Whoa there, sugarcube," said Applejack, cocking her head and wrinkling up her forehead. "Nopony said anything about brothers. Somethin' got your tail in a knot?"

Fluttershy swelled up like a balloon, her teeth grinding against each other, before deflating and letting her head fall against the table. "I guess I was going to have to tell you sooner or later," she sighed, her voice muffled against the wood of the table. With a limp hoof, she pulled a letter out from out of view and slid it onto the table. Her friends curiously craned their necks, attempting to get a glimpse of the paper.

" 'Dear Flutter-Flutters'—" began Rarity, who was immediately interrupted by peals of laughter from Rainbow Dash and Spike. Fluttershy's cheeks grew scarlet as she slowly disappeared from the view of her friends.

"As I was saying," Rarity intoned, shooting her friends a look. " 'Dear Flutter-Flutters: Guess what? I'm going to be visiting Ponyville for a week or so! I've been flying a lot in those shows—by the way, you've gotta see some of those soon—and we're doing a show in Ponyville! So could I stay with you till we do our show? Thanks! Your brother, Crimson Bolt.' "

A short silence followed the reading of this letter, quickly interrupted by bursts of speech from Fluttershy's friends. She let herself sink further and further underneath the table, wishing that somepony would notice her misery.

"Darling, why didn't you tell us that you had a brother?" exclaimed Rarity. "He sounds like a perfect gentlecolt!"

"And what does he mean, a flying show?" asked Rainbow Dash, doing a flip in midair from her excitement. "Is he on an amateur flight league? Maybe I could get in on that, huh?"

"Maybe I can see if Shining Armor can come to meet him!"

"An' ah'm sure that Big Mac and he are gonna get along real nicely."

"Oooh! I can throw the biggest party that Ponyville has ever seen! I'm going to call it the 'FLUTTERSHY'SBIGBROTHERCOMESTOPONYVILLEBECAUSEHE'SANAWESOMEFLYER' PARTY!!!!! It's going to be so AWESOME!!!!!!!!"

Spike frowned. "How come you didn't tell us that you had a big brother earlier, Fluttershy?"

The rest of the ponies turned to Fluttershy as well. "Yeah, how come?" asked Rainbow Dash. "I was your only friend for, like, years—" Fluttershy cringed. "—and you STILL didn't show me him!"

Fluttershy sighed. "He's . . . busy," she said softly, avoiding making eye contact with her friends. "He's the captain of his own flight team. They're called the Wingstars, and they . . . they go on tour a lot."

"Yeah, but you still couldn't tell us about him?" asked Spike, looking hurt.

The yellow pony began to descend underneath the table again, the cupcake in front of her completely untouched. Twilight Sparkle, not wanting to see her friend disappear again, spoke up.

"It's no big deal, Fluttershy," she said comfortingly, glancing around at her friends to make sure that they got he hint to quiet down. "We're going to see him in a day or so, so what's the issue? I didn't really tell you about Shining Armor before you all met him, but you all got along with him fine, right?"

Her friends bobbed their heads up and down, making various noises like "Right!" and "Uh-huh," and "Totally!" A tiny whisper of a smile appeared on Fluttershy's face, but it didn't stay there long. She glanced around at her friends, feeling a pit in her stomach grow and grow.

It's not you not getting along with him that I'm afraid of, she thought, wishing that she had the nerve to say it aloud. I'm almost afraid that you are going to get along. That you're going to start liking him better than me, just like everypony else . . .



"Water for Crimson Bolt?"

Angel Bunny gave Fluttershy a cheerful nod, smiling at his owner as she ran around her cottage.

"Hay fries?"

Nod.

"Bed with two pillows?"

Nod.

"Two sheets, one quilt?"

Nod.

"You're sure that the quilt's patchwork, and not just—"

Angel walked over to his owner and nuzzled her leg, his nose wriggling. She sighed, realizing how tense she was, and allowed herself to lie down on the floor next to him. He snuggled into her pink mane, combing it gently with his paws.

"What am I supposed to do, Angel?" she moaned, letting her face hit the floor. "He's going to stay with me and make me feel like . . . like I'm worthless. Just like he always does."

He wiggled his nose and combed her mane more, letting her get all of her emotions out. She knew from experience that it was probably best to let Fluttershy get all of her emotions out before trying to reason her.

"It's not like he means to or anything, but still . . ." She let her sentence trail off into misery before springing up with a stricken expression on her face. "WHYDOIHAVETOLETHIMSTAYWITHMEANDMAKEHIMFEELCOMFORTABLE?"

The clock tower downtown struck three. Fluttershy froze before springing into action and sprinting out of the door, Angel hanging off of her mane. Out of breath, she met her friends in the town square.

"Sorry I'm late," she said between gasps, brushing a stray piece of sweaty hair out of her face. Angel took it from her and gathered it back into her sweet-smelling mane. "I was busy setting up my house for Crimson Bolt, so he could, you know, be comfortable. I wouldn't want to make him upset . . ."

Applejack smiled comfortingly at her nervous friend. "Sugarcube, he's your brother," she said, putting an arm around Fluttershy's back. "Ah'm sure you couldn't make him upset if you tried. That's the way that brothers and sisters are!"

Fluttershy let out an unintelligible squeak. Luckily, before she was forced to go on about her relationship with her brother, a gust of wind interrupted their conversation. Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut, feeling them sting from the sudden burst of air . . . and then, as suddenly as it had begun, it ended. When she opened her eyes, she felt her stomach drop. Standing in front of her was a tall, muscular stallion. His wings were slowing their constant flapping, which she supposed was the cause of the enormous gust of wind earlier. His coat was a darker yellow than her coat, like a rich butter, and his mane was the shade of the sun at sunset. Choppily cut, it flowed in the wind and set off his deep blue eyes. His cutie mark was a bright red sun appearing from out of a cloud as white as his teeth.

"Whoa, nelly," Fluttershy heard Applejack murmur. With hunched shoulders, Fluttershy went up to the tall stallion, Angel standing on her back protectively.

"Hello, Crimson Bolt," she murmured. The stallion glanced at her, and his face split into a grin. He dropped his suitcase with a thunk and strolled over to his little sister, mussing up her mane affectionately. (Angel glared at him and went back to combing it with his paws.)

"Flutter-Flutters!" he said jovially, smacking her on the back. She winced, struggling for breath. "Thanks for letting me stay! I hate to impose and all, but you know—when the Wingstars have a show, I've gotta be there, since I'm the captain and all!" Fluttershy rolled her eyes, not that he noticed. He went on excitedly, his deep voice attracting the stares of many mares and stallions. "Besides, I thought that this would be a great chance to spend time with my little sister."

"Oh," she murmured, at a loss for words. Her brother's knack for talking nearly constantly had always made her feel more tongue-tied than she could. Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle stepped up, holding out her hoof.

"Crimson Bolt?" she asked, smiling at him and shaking his hoof politely. "Fluttershy's told us so much about you. We're all so excited for your show!"

"Yeah!" said Rainbow Dash, zooming up and shooting him a crazily excited smile. "I'm Rainbow Dash, which you probably know already—you know, I'm that pegasus who saved the Wonderbolts? I thought that if you had space on the Wingstars, I could join! You know, just as some training until I get to join the Wonderbolts!"

"And ah'm Applejack," said Applejack, smiling at Fluttershy's brother and shooting Rainbow Dash a look. "An' that's Rarity, an' that's Pinkie—"

"Sur-PRIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIISE!" shouted the pink pony, coming out of nowhere. To his credit, Crimson Bolt only looked mildly puzzled, painting his features over with a self-assured grin.

"Hi," he said, lifting a hoof in greeting. "You're . . . Pinkie?"

The frizzy-maned pony grinned, hopping up and down enthusiastically. "Yup! Pinkamena Diane Pie. And since you're a new pony in town, I thought that it would be GREAT to introduce you to everypony else and give you a super-awesome party and tell everypony what a great flier and give you cake and pie and—"

"Pinkie," hissed Twilight. She turned and gave Crimson Bolt an apologetic grimace. "Sorry," she whispered before turning back to the pink earth pony. "Look, Pinkie, maybe we should let him settle in a bit before you decide to throw him a party."

"Thanks," said Crimson Bolt, giving Fluttershy's friends a weary, though still handsome, grin. "Actually, settling in sounds great. Besides, I'd love to see Flutter-Flutters' house. I haven't seen it in a while!"
"Flutter-Flutters," giggled Spike as Fluttershy strolled past with her brother, trying and failing to mask his grin when she gave him an irritated glance. Twilight Sparkle shoved a hoof in his mouth, watching as her friend disappeared with her brother.

"She seems kinda weird," said Rainbow Dash, rubbing her neck with a front hoof. "Like she's upset or something."

"Her brother seems like quite the gentlecolt, though," said Rarity, trying to make the situation more optimistic.

Optimism was the last thing on Fluttershy's mind, however, as she trudged towards her cottage with her older brother. She grunted out responses to his questions in one-syllable words, but his constant chattiness made up for her lack of speech.

"So Flutter-Flutters," he began, his voice full of never-ending cheer. "You're still living in that cottage on the ground? With all the animals and stuff?"

"Yes," she said in an undertone, knowing what lecture was coming from him. It hadn't gone unnoticed that he had been flying several feet above her while she plodded along the ground.

He shook his head, smiling like he wasn't about to throw her an underhanded insult. "Flutter-Flutters, you are missing out," he stated, laughing and showing off his shimmering white teeth. "It's ridiculous the way that you insist on staying on the ground like you're some sort of earth pony! I mean, come on—you don't understand what it's like to fly all the time. How about you and I spend some time racing before I start training for my show, huh? I might be able to help you get better!"

Fluttershy made her hoofsteps faster and more deliberate. "I think I'll be fine without any racing," she said, keeping her voice as level and soft as ever. "You're going to win anyway, just like every other time."

He didn't seem to sense her underlying anger, which suited Fluttershy just fine. She hadn't known that she was going to feel this upset, but suddenly, her words were coming out sharply and sloppily. His, though, were coming out as smoothly and professionally as ever. "Aw, Flutter-Flutters," he said, ruffling her mane. (Angel glared at him, crossing his arms at the flying stallion.) "You afraid to lose to your big brother?" He laughed lightly, nudging her with a strong, muscular hoof. She side-stepped away from him, relieved when she saw her house in the distance.

"Here we are," she said, relief taking over her voice. She sagged with relief and exhaustion, fumbling with her key and shoving the door open. "Um, you'll be sleeping in the back room with the injured birds, if that's okay with you. I know that you don't like most animals, but there aren't many birds in there right now, and they won't be any bother to you if I tell them that you're my brother. I-If that's not okay with you, though—"

"Nah, it'll be fine," he said casually, tossing his suitcase on the kitchen table and wiping his feet on the welcome mat. "As long as they don't make noise, I'm okay."

Fluttershy imagined the injured birds, who spent much of their time chirping and whining throughout the night. "I think you'll be fine," she said after a moment's pause.

"Cool," he said, grinning and glancing around her cottage. "You know, Flutter-Flutters, I'd love to hang out more, but I promised some of the Wingstars that I'd catch a drink with them as soon as I could. You wouldn't mind if I went and—"

"No, no," Fluttershy assured him, smiling with relief. Now she wouldn't have to really introduce him to her friends and try to stop them from liking him more than they liked her! "You go ahead, and we can catch up sometime later."

"Great," said Crimson Bolt, grinning and patting her on the head. He flapped his wings and flew towards the door, but at the last moment, he paused and turned around. "Hey, Flutter-Flutters?"

"Yes?"

"I know I haven't always been the best brother to you, and I haven't always been around for you, but I just wanted to tell you that I love you no matter what. And it's great to be with you again."

"Thank you," murmured Fluttershy, blushing and ducking her head. She smiled underneath her blush, though. Maybe Crimson Bolt's visit wasn't going to be completely miserable after all. She buzzed her feathery yellow wings, slowly making her way over to her brother for a hug.

Crimson Bolt pulled away and grinned at his little sister. "You've gotta work on those flight skills, sis," he cracked, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, it took you like thirty seconds to make your way across the room!"

"Oh. Um."

The door clicked closed, leaving Fluttershy alone with her thoughts.


To Fluttershy, it seemed that there was no way to escape her constant worrying about her brother. At dinner that night with her friends, she picked at her garden salad while listening to her friends' conversation about Crimson Bolt.

"I think it's really cool that he made his own flight team," said Rainbow Dash through a mouthful of hay fries. "And his wings are, like, totally huge! Did you see that gust of wind he made?" She flapped her own wings furiously, causing a mustachioed waiter to glare in her direction. "Now that's what I call an entrance!"

"An' he's got a nice, strong body for a pegasus," said Applejack approvingly. "He wouldn't be bad to have working in the fields, if you ask me."

"His color scheme was marvelous," put in Rarity, beaming. "I've got this new orange dress that I think would look good on a red-maned pony . . . I wonder if—"

Twilight Sparkle giggled. "Rarity, I'm not sure if he's going to agree to that." She glanced at Fluttershy, seeing if she could get a laugh out of her shy friend, but the yellow pegasus continued to stare stoically at her garden salad. "Um, Fluttershy?" she asked. "You don't look that well. Are you and your brother getting along fine?"

"Perfectly fine," said Fluttershy, taking a sip of her water. Her eye twitched and her chest rose up and down.

"You don't look fine," stated Pinkie Pie, cocking her head and taking on an uncharacteristically serious frown.

"Yeah, Flutter-Flutters," giggled Spike. Twilight Sparkle smacked him with the back of her hoof, causing Spike to fall off of his seat.. A muffled "Ouch!" came from the ground.

"You look like you're upset 'cause of something that somepony did to you! Is Crimson Bolt being a mean-meanie-meanity-pants?" asked Pinkie Pie, making her cerulean eyes into exaggerated puppy-dog eyes.

Fluttershy sighed. "I'm doing fine, everypony. Crimson Bolt's doing well! He's always doing well! And it's not like we ever argue or anything. Why does everypony assume that it's always about my brother?"

Applejack looked unsure whether to laugh or back away slowly. "Because, sugarcube," she said patiently, "a vein on yer neck is standing out, you're practically yelling, you've kept Angel in yer mane all day, and you just shattered that glass in yer hoof."

Fluttershy glanced down and saw the pieces of glass and water soaking into the rug, plus an angry waiter coming towards them. Fluttershy threw several bits down on the table and stormed out, feeling hot tears creeping up in her eyes and the friends' eyes on her back. Angel swung in her mane, shakily trying to comb it.

At home, Fluttershy dumped food in her animals' bowls, not bothering to tell them to eat only a bit or share with everyone else. Then, hooves heavy on the stairs, she threw herself into her bed and stared at the ceiling. For a while, the only sound in the house was the chirping of birds and chattering of rodents. At last ,she rolled over and turned to Angel, who was curled up on her pillow. She usually dissuaded him from sleeping with her, but at the moment, she felt that she almost needed the bunny to sleep with her.

"I'm overreacting, aren't I, Angel?" she whispered into the dim light. Angel shook his head vigorously, frowning at the very thought of her brother. She rolled onto her side, wanting to really talk face-to-face to somepony, even if that pony had to be a bunny.

"I mean, it's not like he's trying to hurt me," she said, sighing and feeling the dread and misery in her stomach. "He's just naturally better than me, just naturally more . . . more . . ." She exhaled heavily. "More social, more charismatic. It's easy to understand why my friends thing he's so great. When you're talented, ponies like you more. That's why I don't have as many friends as him."

Angel glared at her, continuing to shake his head. He wiped the tears out of the corner of her eyes, giving her a long, hard stare. She laughed for a moment and sniffled, reaching out to Angel for a hug. He resisted for a moment, but he pulled in towards her.

"He's not as bad as I'm making him out to be, you know," she said to the bunny, shaking her head. "He's a perfectly nice pony! Mother and Father always said that he was the most friendly colt in all of Cloudsdale . . ." She trailed off, her voice growing subdued again. When she spoke again, her voice sounded oddly distant, even to herself.

"He hasn't done anything wrong," Fluttershy said softly. "He's just better than me."



Fluttershy awoke with a tangled mane and a heavy heart. With her hooves like lead, she stumbled down the stairs, rubbing her eyes. She could hear the chattering of all of her animal friends, which brought a smile to her face, although her thoughts hadn't disappeared completely. However, when she took her hooves away from her eyes, her smile dropped from her face and was replaced with tight, furious lips.

"Hey, Flutter-Flutters!" said Crimson Bolt, smiling and waving to his sister from the kitchen table. He was surrounded by rodents and birds, who were pouring him cereal. "You were sleeping in, so I figured that I'd go ahead and have breakfast without you. And your animals really seem to like me! Well, except for that one." He pointed a hoof towards the corner of the kitchen, looking wary. Fluttershy followed his gaze and found Angel with a butter knife in his paws, a ferocious glare on his face.

"Oh," said Fluttershy, her voice shaking dangerously. "How kind of my animals," she said, her teeth gritted. "Well, Crimson, I think that I'm going to skip out on breakfast and maybe meet up with my friends. You can practice on your flight or something or maybe—"

"Oh, hey!" said Crimson Bolt, grinning and tossing his plate into the sink. "Your friend Pinkie Pie invited me to a party at her place! Maybe I could walk with you to meet them, huh?"

Fluttershy's eye twitched, and her face grew bright red. She sucked in a sharp breath, then began breathing faster and faster.

"Flutter-Flutters? That okay with you?"

"NO!"

The typically unruffled Crimson Bolt leapt backwards, terrified. "What? Flutter-Flutters?"

"I said no!" she snapped, stomping a hoof. Her face, typically a pale, buttery shade, had become a dark maroon color. "Mother and Father think that you're better! Everypony else thinks that you're better than me! You've started your own flying team, that's how good of a flier you are! But you are not going to take my animals from me! And you, Crimson, are not going to take my friends from me!"

"Uh—"

"And you seriously wonder why I didn't keep in touch with you for a while?" Fluttershy barreled on, pressing her nose to his. "It was because I made friends! For once, I had ponies that thought I was cool—because they didn't know that you existed! I didn't want them to think that I was some stupid loser who couldn't fly down the street, let alone start her own flying team!" She took a deep, shaky breath and caught a glimpse of her brother's stricken face.

"Never mind," she whimpered, turning on her heel and sprinting out of the door. She was terrified to glance behind her, but she wanted to desperately for him to cry out for her . . . to hear his hoofsteps, indicating his chase after her . . . but she heard nothing. She ducked her head, feeling tears pool in the corners of her eyes.

"Hey!" barked a voice behind her. She whipped around—and saw her brother hovering in the air behind her, an aggrieved expression on his face. She felt relief wash over her. Of course he had followed her. He had flown, and that was why she hadn't heard him.

"Flutter-Flutters," he said gently, folding his wings carefully as he lowered himself onto the earth. She avoided his eyes, but he touched her cheek and nudged her chin upwards. "Look at me." It took all of her willpower, but she met his eyes. Their blue pairs of eyes met, both pained and filled with a blizzard of emotions.

"I didn't mean anything that I said back there," said Fluttershy quickly. Then she bit her lip and shook her head. "No—I'm going to be honest with you from now on. Crimson, I meant every thing that I said back there." She exhaled, feeling some of the tension in her heart release. "I could have said it in a kinder way, but the truth is, I've been jealous of you since I was old enough to think straight. You always know what to do in social situations, you're almost as good a flier as Rainbow Dash, everypony thinks that you're charming and handsome . . ." She trailed off, blushing and looking guiltily. "I'm sorry."

Crimson Bolt's jaw dropped open. For once in his life, he seemed to be at a loss for words. "You're jealous of me?" he asked stupidly. Fluttershy nodded, tracing the dusty earth with a hoof. "That's ridiculous," he stated. Fluttershy felt her stomach drop.

"I know that it must seem that way, but—"

"No, no," he said, holding up a hoof and shaking his head. "Flutter-Flutters, let me get this straight: you've saved Equestria too many times to count, you're a personal friend of Princess Celestia, you've defeated a dragon, you can talk to animals, you were the reason that the tornado for Cloudsdale succeeded—and you're jealous of me? Flutter-Flutters, I'm nopony! The Wingstars are about as well-known as a foal's hoofball team!"

Fluttershy blinked. "But . . . but everypony likes you!"

Crimson Bolt shook his head. "That's crazy talk, Flutter-Flutters. Everypony likes you. Whenever I talk to ponies about you, they tell me that they think you're adorable!"

The two siblings glanced at each other, their yellowish cheeks pink. They both giggled shyly and glanced at each other, feeling as though enormously heavy weights had been lifted off of their chests. There was an awkward silence for the past few moments, which Crimson Bolt broke by holding out his hoof and clearing his throat. "Fluttershy, I know that sometimes I've acted like I'm better than you, and I seriously regret that. Friends?"

"Friends," said Fluttershy, holding out her hoof and shaking his. They broke the handshake, stared at each other for several seconds, and at the same time, leapt in for a hug.

"Flutter-Flutters," said Crimson Bolt, his throat tight yet happy, "you have to know that you're the best sister a pony could have. Can I just ask you one thing, though? The next time you have an issue with something I do, just tell me, okay? I'll do the same for you."

"Okay," said Fluttershy. She paused, taking a deep breath. "Um, actually . . . Crimson? Would you mind calling me Fluttershy?"

He blinked, cocking his head to the side. "Huh? Why? Does it bug you?"

"Um, yes," she said guiltily, two spots of pink appearing on her cheeks. "Very much, actually."

He laughed and mussed up her mane. For once, oddly, it didn't irritate her. "Well, if it annoyed you that much, why didn't you just tell me earlier?"

She smiled gently back at him. "I have no idea."



Dear Princess Celestia,

I guess you know that sometimes siblings aren't always easy to get along with. There's all sorts of things to deal with—differences, secrets, and jealousies. My brother Crimson Bolt and I have to deal with all three of these, and ultimately, it drove us apart. Today, though, I learned that plenty of problems with your siblings can be solved by telling the truth. If you have something serious to tell your sibling about themselves, you should always tell them kindly and immediately, so that there is no time for walls to build up between the two of you. I have Crimson Bolt to thank for teaching me this lesson, and for teaching me that even perfect ponies have insecurities.

Your loyal subject,
Fluttershy


Fluttershy sighed happily and joyfully watched the end of the air show, which ended with her brother swirling through the air and posing in front of his team. Fireworks burst in the air as the ponies of Ponyville cheered for the Wingstars, but Crimson wasted no time in zipping down towards his sister.

"How'd we do, Fluttershy?" asked Crimson Bolt, out of breath. He nuzzled his sister cheerfully, his eyes ablaze with adrenaline.

"Perfectly," said Fluttershy, beaming at her older brother and rolling her letter to the princess up in a scroll. Turning to Spike, she said, "Spike, I think it's ready to be sent."

"Sure thing, Flutter-Flutters," he snickered, blowing the letter away in a burst of green flame. Fluttershy blushed, but she was saved from stammering out a response by a strong hoof on her shoulder.

"It's Fluttershy, Spike," said Crimson Bolt solidly, giving him a hard glance. Spike took one glance at the pony's muscular hooves and backed away, tail between his legs. Fluttershy and Crimson Bolt glanced at each other knowingly before giggling and nuzzling each other once more. And in a certain cottage not far away from the two, a certain bunny dropped his butter knife and smiled.

Comments ( 139 )
Kira #1 · Dec 15th, 2012 · · 36 ·

Very good. Potentially the third best story I've ever read. And also, REGIDAR CAN SUCK IT! Nothing to do with top comment, just in general. Seriously, though, I love the story. It's awesome.

[EDIT] Okay, I caused drama. I had not intended to. I apologize to everyone out there who was offended or bothered by my comment.

1805871 Regidar is gonna suck you.

Comment posted by Kira deleted Dec 16th, 2012

1805871 Because you're the top commenter, it matters. Oh wait, no it doesn't.

Anyways, good story, take mah thumbs

Good try, I'm gonna favorite this.

1805939 It ticks me off when people trying to win an argument by using the old "I DON'T CARE/IT DOESN'T MATTER."

1805958 It ticks me off when people comment that they beat Regidar. It REALLY doesn't matter whatsoever and a waste of a comment and bait for a pointless conversation such as this. I see what you're saying though.

Regidar #8 · Dec 15th, 2012 · · 19 ·

1805958>>1805963
I love you both.

1805987 I knew you would show up to break it. :rainbowlaugh:

That moment when all the comments on your story are about Regidar. :facehoof:

Sweet :twilightsmile:

Also, I found this story very touching, for personal reasons. I have no troubles with my brother, but sometimes my self-esteem drops to zero and I get extremely jealous of other people's success. Just like Fluttershy here, I must learn to never forget that I've done good things too, that there are people who cares about me and about what I do.

Thank you for writing this :pinkiesmile:

1806045 Well not anymore. He's banned because of those "INB4 Regidar" posts.

(Joke) Alt. Titles: Flutter Duel and Flut-Do-Better
Y'know, it's like magic duels and Mare-Do-Well, just with more Flutter... Wait...

CIA

1806002
Regidar, the only guy who can piss people off unintentionally and still be loved for it.:facehoof:

CIA

1806244
I wanna know how many times you came up with alt. titles for other stories?

1806310
Y'know what's even better? It's gotten Regidar to like me.

Daaaawww I liked this~ although it COULD have been a longer fic :3

So, anyway, Regidar . . .

No, no. I'm kidding. I want to comment on the story.

This is good. Nice set-up, solid pacing, and I teared up a little at the end.

Hm this seems like episode material, heck next thing you know Hasbro will reveal more information about Fluttershy's family including that she has an older brother. :trixieshiftleft:

This would make a great episode. and it would cause big brother overload. (which is a good thing?)

I hope they make this into a show for season 3! OH MY CELESTIA THIS IS AMAZING! :pinkiehappy:

Nice story and a good lesson

Good story, I can actually imagine this is what would happen if Fluttershy had a brother: :fluttershysad: :fluttercry: :fluttershyouch: :fluttershbad: :flutterrage: :fluttershysad:

I cannot say I hated this story, nor can I say I enjoyed it. While the premise itself is good and there were few grammatical or spelling mistakes, I felt that some bits were rushed and there just wasn't enough character interactions to justify Fluttershy thinking her brother was stealing her friends from her.

All in all, My opinion of this story can be summed up with a simple "Meh", and I will neither like nor dislike it.

It is of my opinion that this story would have actually been better if it had been spaced out over multiple chapters, with Fluttershy's brother getting introduced to her friends one at a time with Fluttershy shrinking into the background as her brother and friends starting getting into their own conversations and forgetting about her. Also, Fluttershy's jealousy would have worked better if it had been gradually built up instead of skyrocketing like it did at the in. Of course, this is all just my opinion and you have every right to ignore it.
________
on a seperate note:
Does somebody want to tell me who the heck Regidar is and why I should give a flying buck about him?

Very cute and fun, bravo mate. Also grats on making the feature box.

Hey, congrats on getting featured! I remember you telling this to me when I first wrote my story! :raritywink:

Happy holidays, and cheers!
~hannahs98

Adorable! Just how I like Fluttershy - cute as a baby bunny, sweet like a kitten, and NOT hurt in a grimdark fic!
:twilightsmile:
Faved for great justice!

1807106 I . . . I'm featured???
*Looks at featured box*
*Faints*
THANK YOU!!!!!

your gonna make chapter 2 right. please do it

1807112

sweet like a kitten

I call bull! Kittens are not sweet, not at all. They'll claw your eyes out if you look at them wrong.

They are terribly adorable, though.

1807123

I have one complaint: Space the sentences when switching between characters/speakers.

1807185 Sorry, no. :twilightsheepish: Just a quick one-shot.

Not your strongest work to hit the feature bar, yet it was short, sweet, and entertaining. This really could have benefited from another 1500~2000 words for the sake of development and building up the conflict. Still worthy of a fave/like in my book. (Already following you)

:pinkiesad2:so sweet! I loved it!

You should make a sequal

" I didn't want them to think that I was some stupid loser who couldn't fly down the street, let along start her own flying team!"

Was that supposed to be "let alone" or was that on purpose?

Anyways,It was an alright story,I can't really say it was too good or too bad. I liked the idea and you did an alright job keeping everyone in character I feel,but I just doesn't feel right to me...Sorry :P Jacky2734 said basically all I wanted to,but still,nice effort,grats on getting featured and keep writing :pinkiesmile: And poor Spike xD :moustache:

He had flied, and that was why she hadn't heard him.

Flown.

"How'd we do, Fluttershy," asked Crimson Bolt,

Needs a question mark.

Spike took one glance at the pony's muscular arms and backed away, tail between his legs.

Ponies don't have arms.

That was... nice. (And there are no smiling Fluttershy emotes :fluttershysad:)

1806139
He was banned because of other people writing 'INB4 Redigar'?

This was awesome! Totally!

I gotta say, I almost cried at one part. Such good material.

1806281 who can piss people off unintentionally and still be loved
piss people off unintentionally be loved
piss people off unintentionally
unintentionally
INTENTIONALLY!

Since I'm essentially the baby of the family (being at the age of 15 while my siblngs are in their 20s/30s), the feels hit home with this one. The mood was incredibly well-done, the idea was ingeniously original, I had a few giggles here and there, the character behavior was properly brought forth. Ergo, this gets an A+ (or A*, for those of you who are European). Good on ya, man!

Now, if this ever became a canon episode in any of the upcoming seasons, I'd shit more than enough bricks to make a replica of the Great Wall of China.

Until then, please keep writing more beautiful stuff like this. I'll be watching you, thumbing this up, and favoriting this to boot.

1806376>>1807933>>1806640>>1805871>>1805903 Okay, WHO IS REGIDAR??? This may sound stupid, but I have no idea who he is.

This was awesome! Great job! :yay:

This was amazing. A touching story that took a deeper look at Fluttershy's personality rather than just saying 'it's because she's shy'
As the nerdiest and youngest sibling in my family I can honestly say that this story hit me right where I live...my heart that is.
Well done to you my fine sir! :pinkiehappy:

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