It's funny. I remember clearly, a time when a pony didn't have to fear the night. When a mare could walk the streets under Luna's vivid stars and feel safe in the knowledge that no harm would come to them. It wasn't even that long ago, really. The streets of Manehatten are the worst offenders now that the night holds real darkness. The rules have changed it appears. Crimes never before seen are now commonplace. The two rival gangs, The Hoods and The Vandals swarm the alleys and byways. And the police? Don't make me laugh. Incompetent foals and soft headed lackeys.
I should know. I was one of them. My name is- was- Amber Lights, and this is the story of how I became Mare Do Well.
Chapters (8)
Attention readers!
Well, you've met Ruby Tooth, heard mention of 'The Pink Lady' and even seen some foreshadowing of events to come in Amber's First Person parts. I'd like some help. Aside from these three, I'm having difficulty coming up with interesting Villains. Some suggestions for cool villains for our mysterious masked Mare to come up against would be very well received.
I may not use the exact thing you describe but I might take the general idea and run with it. so please, give me some cool Noir Style pony villains to use for later chapters!
Huh, I had a similar plan to this (Detective gets injured, sees partner of 5 years/fiance die in same accident, gets put on sick leave due to PTSD and anger issues, dons mask and transfers as CSI after 6 months) but it seems you've beat me to the punch and looks like you can do better justice to the concept than me. So, I hope you keep plugging away and continue this.
Hmm, most of the villains in my head are anti-villains that despite how brutal or heartless they act, really are trying to change something for the better. But here's an idea: I've always been interested how someone like the Spirit (the original, not Frank Millar's bastardization) or the Shadow would deal with someone like Diabolik or Fantomas. Simply put, pulp hero verses noble/theatrical thief.
Just wanted to let you know that I'm still planning on reading this! It looks really promising, I'll let you know what I think once I manage to squeeze it in
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I await you favorable Review!
Readers, please bear with me on this one. I may or may not have begun rambling from time to time and just never caught myself. This is my first real serialized fic and I will be taking a week to write each chapter from now on, just to afford myself the time to watch what I'm typing. I'm going to rework this one but for now, enjoy what I've got for you!
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I have no idea how you can write so many words in so little time! I still need to catch up reading, but this looks good so far!
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YOu may want to hold of reading #2. I'm currently in the process of rewriting it. It'll be in essence the same thing, but I was wholly dissatisfied with the chapter. I'm almost done with the first act revision, and acts two and three will come tomorrow I think. THen it's on to #3!
and in answer to how I write so many words, I'm an author by trade. it's what I do.
Okay Readers, This is a bit of a change, but I decided to reorder the uploads as the individual acts. this has in effect, mooted some comments, and for that I'm deeply sorry.
I think this will be better in that I present the story in more manageable chunks than huge 10000+ word chapters
This is great. Much more manageable this way. Fantastic story so far.
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Glad you think so! #2 Act II is nearing completion now so keep an eye out for it later today. Act III should be done this evening some time.
Damn... that took longer than expected... and apparently the Mysterious Mare Do Well #2 is gonna have four... maybe five acts... Criminy!
So, tell me dear readers, what do you think! Be honest. I can take it!
Feels a little more...flowing compared to the original part two, seems to follow the show's characterization a bit more. I think I could make more of an assessment with the other chapters to compare it to the original second chapter.
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I still have the second chapter's transcript. If you'd like, I could send it to you somehow. The original is no longer publicly available.
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It's fine, I already have it.
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alright. I must have misread you last. Carry on!
dude, great fic keep it up!
Im liking the concept of the story, and it really seems to flow well! look forward to seeing more, off to read the rest now.
to lazy to create a profile, sorry man, liking what i read so far though :D
This is awesome!!! i love fan fics like this, im going to read the whole thing!!!!
Thanks everyone for the awesome comments!
my request for critique still stands though so don't be afraid to offer constructive criticism.
I love training storys, that's why I read so mutch manga!
Pinkie-Sense
. you said everypony feels it difrent, for pinkie it's a twitch.
I allways thought earth-pony magic coulde be used as Extra-sensory perception, it probaly can pick up more then just Unicorn magic thou. If it can pick up incoming danger it might explain
The whole thing might work like Observation Haki/Mantra from One Piece. As a fan of both MLP:FiM and One Piece, I make alot of connections between the two shows (do's anyone else think FlutterShy and Princess Shirahoshi seem alike, if you do remember Shirahoshi is considered a weapon of mass destroction in her world, makes you wonder-->
)
I'm a Earth-Pony fan, I like fic's that involve earth-magic, and eventhou thare is no canon evadins that earth-magic can be used in a combat-situation, earth magic is not considerd week or usless, earth ponys use earth magic subconsciously to make thing's of the earth grow, and nopony insalts ware there food come's from by saying it isnt importent. Place's like the Everfree naturly have all three type's of ponie magic(and then some, praboly) that inables them to work without outside help.
Let the training begin, so far A.J's and Twilight's training is vary manga. what I'd like to see next chapter is Amber have her plot handed to her by the lovely Ms. Rarity is a spareing match, and R.D's training setion being unbelevebly dangerus!
hope to hear from you soon
J-Rook
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Very perceptive of you J-Rook. I have plans for Amber's Earth Magic. What you've seen so far is just the very beginning of what it will allow her to do.
Sadly, this will not be a training story as you think. There will be elements of it, but for the most part, it's going to be action/mystery. these first chapters are just opening up the story.
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I would if you posted some more parts, Bio-Rhythmic. But I can wait.
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Well, This chapter's proving tricky and My schedule's been hectic trying to procure some gainful employment.
Rest assured, I will be putting forth some time and effort over the next couple days to get this fic moving forward again. just hit a snag is all.
Hmm, pretty good set up going on. It's a slow build but not TOO slow, keeping just enough for it to flow decently. Amber's s simple character but she works, after all she'd being built into one of Equestria's first super heroes by the Mane 6 can;t have her too crazy to start off with.
Definately look forward to where you go with this.
1858579 I'm glad you like it! always good to hear some positive feedback. And I've been asking a lot but My Rogues Gallery for Mare Do Well is kinda bare. Any ideas you could shoot my way would be awesome!
1859137 Hmm, I'm sure I could think up a few from my wasted comic book childhood... would you like them here or pmed to you?
1860745 A PM if you please.
Couple of complaints. It's Cloudsdale, not Cloudsdayle, and you have a tendency of using 'Everybody' 'Everyone' and 'people' instead of changing it to the proper pony counterparts. Aside from that, nice job!
1886460 Thanks. I'll try to find and fix them. And thanks for reading!
Mare-Do-Well should be voiced by Michael Keaton