Erebus: Episode 1: Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

by Honey Mead

Scene 12

Twisting, in a way that no pony should have been able to, Surprise drew a knife from her tail and slashed at the cable connecting her to Erebus. The black cord snapped back at the unicorn, disappearing into the contraption on his fetlock. With nothing pulling him forward, he began to lose altitude. Surprise spun in the air, flying backwards and sticking her tongue at her pursuer.

For a moment, Erebus watched her without expression. As both ponies continued to sail through the air, his lips twisted into a wicked grin. Surprise blinked in confusion. Quickly turning around, she barely had enough time to yelp before she slammed face first into the side of a building.

Erebus allowed himself to bleed the remaining altitude quickly. At a few feet above the street his cape collapsed, and he fell like a stone. Contorting his body he threw his dislocated shoulder toward the ground. The small pop of the joint locking back into place was lost in his cry at the pain it caused.

Perhaps foolishly, he allowed himself a moment's respite laying on his side. He watched the downed pegasus detach from the building and flop to her back. Despite the force of the impact, he could tell she wasn't out of the fight yet. He mumbled to himself about ponies not knowing when to give up.

Forcing himself to his hooves, he moved toward her. A set of hoof cuffs wrapped in his magic aura slid from his belt. The moment he touched her hoof to drag her to the lamp post, however, she jumped. He pulled back just in time to avoid the flash of silver aimed at his throat. The miss threw the slightly disoriented pony off balance and she staggered away from the stallion.

Surprise started giggling, the high pitched sound causing Erebus to flatten his ears against his skull. “You’re just full of surprises aren’t you? I can’t wait to see that smile again.”

“The only thing that will make me smile,” he said, widening his stance, “is seeing you locked up.”

The mare turned toward him. Her face seemed to be at war with itself, twisting and contorting between happy, sad, angry, and surprised. “You... you don’t want to play?”

Erebus blinked at the almost childlike question. “What?”

“I just want to have fun! Don’t you like having FUN?” she asked, rearing up and flailing the knife in her hoof. “Didn’t you like my party?!”

Sound stretched as the mare's eyes pulled away from each other for a split second before snapping back to glare at him. The mass of tangles and curls on her head fell down, framing her face in limp locks of golden mane. Her face froze somewhere between utter depression and uncontrollable rage before melting into psychotic glee.

“You had fun at my party, right Sir Knifey?” she asked, waving the knife in front of her muzzle.

Her voice deepened, sounding more like a stallion twice as wide as she. “Oh yeah! I love your parties! Anyone who doesn’t is just CRAZY!”

Her voice changed back as she said, “But he said he doesn’t like my parties! He said that I don’t make him smile!”

“Then we’ll make him smile. Even if we have to cut him from ear to ear!”

Erebus watched this exchange with growing concern. He'd guessed that she wasn’t all there from the start, but this was a whole new stable of crazy. This lunatic needed to be put down.

Surprise lunged at him, the knife slashing at his muzzle. He ducked the blade. Coming back up behind the swing, his right shoulder connected with hers while his foreleg hooked behind her neck. Turning his weight into her, he pushed his left hoof against the back of her head to put her muzzle into the ground hard.

The mare twisted in the fall, her back hitting the ground instead and bringing her left hoof into his exposed ribs. The hit was weak, and against the stallions armor, almost pointless. The change in orientation, however, put Erebus off balance. He tumbled to the side, breaking his hold on the mare.

The two ponies were on their hooves simultaneously and charged. Erebus planted his left hoof and swung his hind legs around. Surprise jumped the buck with a pump of her wings. From her new vantage point, she dove with her forelegs outstretched, aiming the blade for his kidney. Erebus allowed himself to fall to the side, dodging the dive bomb and had to keep rolling as Surprise flipped to bring her hind legs down on his chest.

Finding his hooves, Erebus reared up. Balancing, he went on the offensive, pressing forward with punches and kicks. Surprise deftly avoided the blows, either moving out of the way or blocking. She returned with her own strikes or slashes with the knife still held in awkwardly in her hoof.

Despite his best efforts, Erebus wasn’t able to avoid her retaliations. Her punches and kicks did little besides bounce off his body armor, but the blade came dangerously close to cutting into the few exposed areas between the armor’s plates.

That all changed, however, when a left hook connected with the side of his face. Hitting with more force than her previous efforts would suggest was possible, Erebus blacked out.

His eyes opened to the sight of Surprise standing over him, her body shaking with laughter. The flat of the cold blade pressed under his chin. He didn’t move, glaring into her violet eyes.

“I’m gonna make you smile! Smile! Smile!”