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Blythe Baxter becomes a pegasister and is about to watch My Little Pony Friendship is Magic with the pets from Littlest Pet Shop when suddenly they get sucked inside the t.v. and wind up in Ponyville in the land of Equestria. What adventures will Blythe and the pets have together let's find out together?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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3.bp.blogspot.com/_Bb4IU_sm28M/TISWmHegE6I/AAAAAAAAAGw/r9tWIdz8qd0/s1600/Head+Asplode.jpg
Slow down there!
This souds good
A fic of this sort was inevitable.
In b4 Regidar.
1794119
i.imgur.com/dUpPL.png
>>Regidar
1794125
You can tell Regidar's used to this shit when he begins to make reaction images about it.
1794743 Nope, Art made that one for me.
A My Littlest Pet Shop crossover?
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1237_Twilight_Sparkle_nope_nope_nope.gif
i.imgur.com/arPNr.jpg
So far this is on a par with TLPS, srsly.
Odd, I expected Twi to spazz when she met a dog that looks JUST like her...
1795176 Well I just started this crossover series/ story recently so you never know at some point when Twiley and the rest of The Mane Six get to know the pets and maybe even talk to them at one point she might notice Zoe looks just like her and freak/ spazz out upon noticing this.
1794125 Oh God, my sides.
I'm amused by the stupidest things.
1795608
Oh me.
What is TLPS? And did the story feel rushed to anyone or was it just me?
1797654
In all fairness, so does the episode of that show Ive seen so far....
The Littlest Pet Shop, and eeyup.
why am i watching this...[img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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
Seriously, you got a great idea hear, but the problem with this story is you're writing it too fast and way it's written makes it look like a child wrote it. You shouldn't go at the pace that you did, and the way you explain things in the story didn't sound right. May suggestion is to re-write the story at a slower pace, and introduce each of the character by giving us a detail, but short description of each. Also, don't just say they were zap into the TV. Explain in detail how that happened. What caused them to be teleported there? Was it an accident, like spilling water on the tv set, or some other-world force behind it? Also, try to show some personality in the characters as they interact with each other. And as for Sunil's accent, if you don't know, don't describe it. There's no need to if you don't know it. K?
And don't end it with just saying "they went to Twilight, explained the situation, and then she teleported them home." Let's go into detail on that. Let's see that part of the story in greater detail. K?
I'm sorry to say this, but you did a piss-port shitty job writing this (no offense ^^;), but that doesn't mean I don't like the synopsis. I've started watching LSP too, and I love to see the characters interact some more. So don't write the story short like this, but don't give up on it either. You got a good idea here, and I like to see where it goes, K? =3
While this is definitely as fast-paced as an episode of LPS, you might want to slow down a little bit and flesh out the detail here and there.
You are the eyes, ears (and nose) for the reader, after all.
Hang in there and have fun.
Lyra why why Cant you stay or something! JUST STAY IN PONY VILLIE GRAHHHHHH! (my rage meter has been full lol
2049601 Well I was planning to have Episode 5/ Chapter 5 be were Madame Pom goes to Equestria and does modeling for Photo Finish but how about instead I do the Body Swap episode/ chapter instead?
2052294 yus plz
I was so hoping that this was going to be something that could get put up on the LPS site. but if you don't know what accent Sunil has then it's not ready.
BODY SWAP!
2189100 That's going to happen next week for sure this time just hold out a little bit longer.
"Meanwhile several hours later"
I mean, just... what? How is that possible?
Assuming English isn't your mother tongue (it isn't mine either): Meanwhile means ''something that happened during the same time as the first situation''. several hours later tells you that a new event happened... wel, several hours later.
2401519 I was born and raised in America what are you talking about exactly though?
2401665 your horrible English. That is what I was talking about. I mean, if English was a language you only learned in school and a bit on the internet, okay, that's cool. But if it is your mother tongue and you can't even make full sentences without writing garbled messages, you really should do something about your English or your writing techniques. No offence bro, but your sentences sound like Mordin from Mass Effect voiced them for you. no commas, no semicolons, no nothing.
In short: learn how to write carefully constructed sentences, paragraphs (that you are doing just fine) and story building.
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59396144/Leave%20it%20to%20the%20pros.png
Ok, so I'd like to sort of review your story, you can't improve until you know what you did wrong. I won't be able to review it all at once but I will try to review it all.
First off that very first sentence. It is painful. Lets go with the easy part first. New line for speaking, capitalize the beginning of said speaking and finally, remember your punctuation.
Ok, next on to the rest of the sentence.
I'd simply cut out the "that she can talk to and understand" part. You can include this in a paragraph after she says "Hey, guess what" and detail how she discovered this or maybe how she can speak to them.
Also the writing is rather bland. One day is an over used phrase almost worse then the cliche it was a dark and stormy night or a bright sunny day in Ponyville.
Next up we get tossed straight into some dialogue. Some rather forced dialogue. Typically one wouldn't say over the past three days I became a pegasister. One might say when asked how long they've been a pegasister that it has been three days. Or maybe has Blythe been sick for the past three days? It doesn't flow and it doesn't sound like something she would, or anyone else, would say.
Don't just detail out the names and descriptions of everyone like that. If that sort of thing doesn't work when describing a single character what makes you think people will like hearing an entire group of people described like that?
Now this next part was already mentioned so I won't dwell on it, but if you don't know an accent don't say that you don't know it. Ask around.
Don't put the story ends with like that also if your pony has a mane of a certain color it should also have a tail of that same color. It is completely unnecessary to say that they are the same color.
I have to go now, the bell is about to ring but I'll be back for chapter two.
Hey, you know who's gay?
The author.
2521241 I'm not gay I have a girlfriend and am not attracted to other guys
2521324
I don't mean this offensively, I'm honestly curious, but how old are you?
Your reaction to being called gay seems that of an immature individual.
2521326 This
2521241
Sorry that was immature of me as a 21 year old guy I shouldn't have responded that way.
2525991
I've seen better stories put together by people seven years your junior. Did you even complete high school?
2527773 Yes I did complete High School and i'm going to start attending College in the Fall.
2528416
I'd strongly suggest taking some form of English class while you are there, preferably one that focuses on writing.
1952435
Have you watched anymore? The show's improved quite a bit.
1794914
Well, this one may not be of high quality, but I'm sure ANY crossover can be good if the author executes it right. This... Unfortunately not really. Anyways, which one do you hate, the story, or the show?
EDIT: Why is my new mouse so cruddy? I had to write this comment three times by now.
You beat me to the punch on the whole MLP/LPS crossover fan-fic.
Minka : I'm so very excited .
that had me laughing for 5 hours .
Not to be a hater my friend but you might want to consider doing something other than an LPS crossover that is a 2nd rate show with bad animation, dumb humor, and terrible voice actors not to be a hater of course
I'm not overly impressed by the dialogue. It strikes of bad anime dub, what with stating the obvious in broken English. I wouldn't have such an issue if it wasn't mentioned that this is your first language.
I don't think Blythe is going to go addressing her pets by their full names in this situation. Also, those of us who have watched LPS even a few times know what the pets look like.
Regarding your descriptions of the ponies, WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. I like the idea you have here but you are putting more effort into describing the characters down to the very last detail than you are in actually making a story. I would say touch things up a bit and this could be a great story.
4248272 You do realize that the same team who made G4 of MLP also made LPS, right?