Caelum Est
Conterrens
H E A V E N · I S · T E R R I F Y I N G
By Chatoyance
9. Mother And Me
Reading email on the iPad was easy, responding was less fun. The virtual keyboard was always a little finicky to Lavender - she was trying to refer to herself entirely as Lavender now, all day long, just to 'try it on' - because there was no feedback. Just the smooth glass surface, and the hope that her fingers had hit the right rectangular space. Lavender liked a good, solid, thick-keyed keyboard, if she had the choice, her Seanix mechanical at home was her favorite. It had nice, solid, clicky keys that felt like every tap meant something. Punting on a virtual keyboard was utterly unsatisfying.
Lavender had begun to realize she felt something similar strolling about as a pony in the Equestria Experience. The fantastic, three dimensional, detailed view and the astonishing three dimensional sound were almost overwhelmingly compelling... but the fact was that there was no smell, no taste, and worst of all, no touch. The powerful virtual reality of the two provided senses made the lack of the remaining three feel like some kind of strange hunger.
Lavender was on her sixth day now in Berlin, and she spent as much of her waking time at the Equestria Experience as she dared. She rode the U-Bahn to the outlet by the little cafe and the boarded-up building, and spent two hours until lunch exploring the beauties of Canterlot City and the castle itself. She would break for lunch and return for another two hours or sometimes even three in the company of her Equestrian friends. She had several friends in Canterlot now.
Celestia, of course, was always glad to see her, but some of her time was taken up by matters of state. Lavender found herself helping out Thunder, who acted as a sort of facilitator and secretary to Celestia. There was always something that needed to be arranged or taken care of, and there was often some pony or dignitary from beyond the pony lands that required handling or special attentions. Lavender Rhapsody had met her first civilized dragon, an experience that had quite taken her breath away - it was not a bit like harmless little Spike from the cartoon, nor the goofy adolescent dragons Spike had once tried to interact with. No, this was a dragon large and terrifying to behold, but in temperament intellectual, cunning, polite and ruthless.
Arranging things so that the dragon did not feel offended, while at the same time conquering her own fears had made Lavender feel tremendously competent and more powerful and useful than she ever had before in her life. Though Thunder Steed had done most of the work - it was his position, after all - Lavender had found herself becoming indispensable to him, and had even managed to rescue him from what would have been a great embarrassment, thanks to what she had learned about dragons from both the show and fanfiction she had read. The world must have filled in elements that the show had not covered from information beyond it in generating Equestria. Indeed, the method of how Equestria was generated at all had been a revelation to Lavender.
Celestia had claimed that the procedural system that generated every texture, every pebble or grain of sand, shared in her own inconceivable intelligence and knowledge. The procedural generator was creative beyond measure, and that if one were to travel far enough, an infinity of new lands, creatures, and wonders could be discovered, generated as the explorer pushed onward, filled with unknown and unknowable fascinations that had not yet even come into being. Even she could not predict what would be out there, beyond the map of Equestria that was known, only that it would be satisfying, and filled with friendship and ponies.
"Wait... princess, are you telling me that... there are things out there that even you do not know?" Lavender was at evening banquet, a private affair with just herself, Thunder, Celestia, and the new head of the castle maid staff. Limeade was a pale green unicorn who dressed in a rather cute Victorian styled maid uniform. Lavender had met her as she was instructing two members of her staff on how to clean and care for Lavender's bedroom in the castle.
The two ponies had hit it off immediately - Lavender found Limeade to possess a devilish wit, a wonderful sense of fun, and even shared a little fascination of hers, chess. Chess existed in Equestria, so it seemed, though the pieces were different and some of the moves were a bit curious. Really, it was a form of 'fairy chess', a variation that included a dragon piece, a gryphon piece, and all the breeds of ponies, and more. In some ways it reminded Lavender of one of her favorite old computer games from the eighties - Archon. It was fabulous to play the game with Limeade. Limeade used her horn to levitate the pieces, and sometimes she would make them dance about much to Lavender's delight.
Lavender had found a way to impress her new pony friend in return. She had been practicing her unique earth pony powers, and had found a way to grow roses so that they formed shapes. The unique controls within the Equestria Experience allowed Lavender to first sprout a seed, then selectively control which parts of stem and leaf grew, and what direction they grew in. Lavender had raised a line of roses whose stems had grown not straight but in curves, which spelled out 'Limeade' in letters. This had utterly delighted the bouncy green unicorn mare, and later, Celestia herself. There had been suggestions that Canterlot castle could use such a talent, especially in regards to the topiary gardens.
With each passing day of play, Lavender Rhapsody felt more and more involved in the life of Canterlot, and more useful and needed there. Thunder was very grateful for her help, and was drawing closer as a result. They had gone on two proper dates so far, and both were utterly charming and fun adventures into the sprawling city that surrounded the castle. But the joy of her budding romance with Thunder was also painful, too, because more and more Lavender realized that she could never touch the handsome stallion, nor kiss him, nor feel him hold her in his forelegs. And the fact was, she wanted all those things to happen... and, she thought, blushing, more.
The screen on the iPad had jumped back to the desktop - Lavender had drifted off, thinking about Thunder there - and she had accidentally tapped the little spot that exited the email. Mind on the job, she thought, the same problem sometimes got her in trouble at work.
Huh. There was actually an email from her work, from Interior Reality, from her manager Crisanto. That was odd. She tapped on the message to read it.
Envelope-to: Siofra@Gmail.com
To: Siofra@Gmail.com
Reply-To: Crisanto-reply-140@InteriorReality.com
From: Crisanto@InteriorReality.comMs. Aisling:
It is with regret that I must inform you of your termination of employment at Interior Reality Inc.
After careful review of your work performance, as well as an examination of certain serious matters that have been brought to our attention in your absence, we are forced to conclude that your continued employment at Interior Reality Inc. would not benefit either you, or us.We have arranged to have what items you had in your cubicle collected and shipped to your address at no charge to you, along with your severance check. It will not be necessary for you to visit the premises in order to finalize any aspect of your departure.
We greatly appriciate your many years of service for Interior Reality Inc. and we wish you success in your future career endeavors.
Crisanto Evangelista, Team Manager
Interior Reality, Inc.-------------------------------------------------------------
Interior Reality, Inc. customer service://1-555-854-4335
11216 Pastern Rd outside of US://1-555-293-6299
Suite 100 phone orders://1-555-545-5788fax://1-555-839-8611
-------------------------------------------------------------
For the longest time, as she stared at the message, the only thing Lavender could feel was annoyance that Crisanto had misspelled 'appreciate'.
It was probably Horndog Dan, she thought. He had become her enemy the moment she had complained about his unwanted, pushy, and obscene advances. He had once warned her, in the hall, that he would get even someday. He must have done something, seeing his chance because of her absence. This was the first vacation she had ever taken at Interior Reality, and he had seen an opportunity and taken it. 'Serious matters'. And all that stuff about not even wanting her to set foot on the premises, dressed up as some convenience to her!
It had to have been Horndog Dan, that chocolate-cake muffin muncher. Lavender laughed at that. She'd been spending so much time in Canterlot, she was starting to think like an Equestrian! Hee! Somehow, that was immensely comforting in the moment. Swearing like a pony, in real life.
Real life? Real life didn't seem as real anymore, come to think of it. It certainly hadn't gotten any nicer or more fun during the hours she had been away trotting on hooves. The Equestria Experience wasn't just some video game... there was a world in there, and... who was to say which world was more valid, really? Why was the uncaring universe any better, or more 'real' than the caring universe was? There was zero question as to which universe was more satisfying - or downright fun.
Lavender Rhapsody closed the smart cover on her iPad, and thought of all of the crappy jobs she had worked at in her life. All of the years at Interior Reality, being yelled at by Crisanto, treated like dirt by her co-workers, working hard for poor pay. Always being treated as a second-class person just because she was a woman by the males, and some kind of rival by Barb the Hook. Having to deal with people like Horndog Dan. This was life in the uncaring world, and it had always been like that, except for some parts of her childhood.
In Canterlot, Thunder needed her, and likely loved her. Limeade was a wonderful new friend, who just made her happy every time they met. Celestia was... Celestia was like her mother, before her mother had... gotten bad. In Canterlot she had a standing job offer in the gardens, or she could just help Thunder, they were already basically a team or...
Come to think of it, she didn't have to work at all, in Canterlot. Celestia had made that clear. She was a welcome member of Celestia's entourage, a close personal friend of the princess. She had a room of her own in the castle. It was a disappointment for her to not show up at meals. She was wanted, just for herself, there. The only thing anypony truly wanted from her, was simply her presence. That was enough. She was family, at the castle.
Lavender got up from the bed where she had been using her iPad. She went to the window and looked out at the city lights of Berlin. It pretty much looked like any city. Somehow, she had expected it to look... more exotic. It was a city, just a city, filled with people working at jobs they didn't really enjoy, for pay less than they deserved, to enrich jerks who looked down on them. That was the workaday world. That was life here... that was life everywhere, in every city, in every nation.
Except in the nation of Equestria. It wasn't like that there. It wasn't like that at all.
Lavender had asked Limeade if she resented being a maid. Lavender just assumed that being a maid must suck. After all, it's cleaning up after others and attending their little whims. It seemed utterly demeaning, and certainly not fun. Limeade had shocked her by claiming just the opposite - she genuinely loved being a close part of the life of the castle, and took great personal satisfaction in knowing that everything she did made everypony there happier, more content, and better off. Limeade said that she felt like everypony's mother, like she was the real heart of the castle, and she knew that without her nothing would be the least bit grand, or wonderful, or royal. Resent being a maid? The very thought was incomprehensible to her. It was a privilege, and a challenging responsibility, too. She felt it was her calling in life, and made sure that Lavender saw her cutie mark - a feather duster made of phoenix feathers. She was not just any maid, she was Celestia's royal maid.
Not once, in the whole of Lavender's life, had she ever felt truly, deeply proud of any job she ever had. Jobs were just how to keep a roof over the head, and food in her belly. Jobs were to survive. Lavender remembered something she had read once, about the 'special therapy group for people who hated their jobs.' In other words, a bar.
In the uncaring world, people commonly drank booze to forget how much they hated their lives. It was so common that it wasn't even seriously questioned. In Equestria, if anypony drank liquor, she hadn't come across that yet. There wasn't anything to escape from, because everything was just plain...
Just plain...
Wonderful. There was no other word for it. Even now, Lavender wanted to get on the U-Bahn and spend another three hours there. She looked back at her bed in the hotel room. The mattress was hard. The room was simple and plain, except for the mural of the balloonists. Sweet Celestia, what would it be like to actually sleep in that luscious, royal, carved canopy bed in her exquisite room in the castle. Even just one night... what would it... be like?
What would it be like to share that bed with Thunder? The thought made her flush, and feel embarrassed, but she couldn't not think it. What would that be like, as a pony? Goodness. Oh my.
Lavender put her iPad away, and got ready for bed. She would see it all again tomorrow, after another ride on the U-Bahn. Staring into the hotel mirror, she saw the age that had withered her face. Her strange, ape-like face. She turned her head from side to side, and pulled back her red hair away from her ears. Human beings really did look like shaved apes. Primarily because they were shaved apes. Primates. The big ears. The teeth. The cheeks. The resemblance was obvious, the similarity clear if one only bothered to truly look, and truly see. How much denial did it take to even imagine for a second that humans were not just another great ape?
Not much, perhaps, Lavender decided. Life was hard. The world was uncaring. And the last thing any human truly wanted to do was to admit they were just another mortal-as-hell animal. An ape with pretentions of glory. Lavender thought about all the people in the world with even worse lives, the millions starving and sick, the child soldiers dying in pointless wars, the rampant global modern slavery trade, the defacto enslavement of women in much of the globe, the terrible diseases and horrific, crippling injuries that were even possible at all. Here, on earth, existed the blind, the maimed, the cancer-stricken, the doomed.
If there was a god for this terrible, uncaring cosmos then... who could call such a monster even a friend?
Celestia made her universe so that all of those bad things simply could never occur. The very physics and nature of her creation prevented them all. Earth, D-, at best. Equestria, A+, with honors. That was the God Grade that Lavender would give! "If I could" Lavender mused, settling under the covers "I would flunk God out of Creation. What an evil bastard!" That thought made her giggle.
Before she fell asleep, Lavender tried to imagine what kind of intelligence would create a world of scarcity, horror, pain and sickness, aging and death. No, she just could not bear to accept a God in the earthly universe. Because if there was, then everything instantly became a million times worse than it already was. It would mean that someone had actually intended things to be the way they were in real life. No. Just... No.
In the morning, on the subway train, Lavender found herself staring at a young boy in a wheelchair. He was being attended by a relative. He was hooked up to some device that kept him breathing. As far as Lavender could tell, the poor child could only move his eyes. She jerked her gaze down, and stared at the floor of the car. Jesus, she thought, forgetting entirely her new ponyisms. Jesus cocksucking christ.
By the time she had reached the top of the stairs that lead out of the subway, Lavender had finished blowing her nose. The thought of the boy in the wheelchair had made her cry. She had felt like going up to the woman caring for him and just screaming 'There is an alternative! Take him to Equestria! What the hell are you doing forcing him to suffer like that!'
And then, it had hit her - what the hell was she doing, forcing her own self to suffer? And she was suffering. Why not just... emigrate? Today? Right now?
Fear. Mindless, animal fear. Her body, her flesh was afraid of dying, and her big overblown ego was afraid it wouldn't truly survive. So what if it didn't?
Lavender felt shocked by the thought. What if she didn't survive, and instead only a perfect daughter copy was created? A daughter copy. Her daughter. Her true offspring.
Lavender had always wanted to have a foal - a child - but... it had never worked out. It couldn't work out in any case, she had long ago found out she was incapable of having children. If all uploading created was a copy, that copy would be born from her, it would be her daughter. What kind of a life would her virtual daughter have?
A glorious, happy, satisfying one. One that lasted forever in a world that cared and loved her. A world without pointless misery and suffering. A world of endless things to do, and to see, and to be astonished by. An infinitely better life, and world, than that of her mother. No gift, to any child, could be as loving as that.
The thought was sobering. Lavender felt ashamed that she had once wanted to bring a child into the physical world. What if it had ended up like that boy on the train? That could have been her son. It was some human's son.
Lavender stood now facing the fiberglass Pinkie Pie holding balloons outside of the Equestria Experience. She could hear the waitress in the cafe nearby being berated by her employer. He seemed quite the pile of Chocolate Cheesecake. Lavender couldn't understand the words, but she knew very well the tone. The poor girl was clearly overworked, yet she was being yelled at. There was no excuse for that kind of behavior.
She glanced around her, at the dirty street, the boarded-up building, the subway, the little cafe where the man yelled at the poor waitress. Her nose was filled with a sudden whiff of auto exhaust and old motor oil. Lavender sighed, turned, walked past Pinkie Pie, and let the purple door slide open before her.
All three chairs were unoccupied. Lavender Rhapsody chose one of the chairs and sat down within it. She already had her credit card ready and leaned over to run it through the reader. The screen, which had already rotated down, acknowledged her actions. "Let's Go To Equestria!" she said, clearly. The chair, as always, began to retract, the seat and headrest shifting to accommodate her body. Lavender slipped her fingers into the control slots, and eagerly awaited the sudden darkness, and the glorious light.
"Oh, hello Lavender! I'm glad to see you are getting up!" It was Limeade, attending to her room. The last thing that Lavender had done before quitting the night before was to go to her room and lay down on her bed. Of course, that is where she had begun, today. "I have some wonderful news to dish - I have a special somepony now!"
Lavender was very happy to hear this, although Limeade was overall content, there had been hints that she envied the growing relationship Lavender had with Thunder Steed. It was understandable, and Lavender really liked her new friend and wanted only good things for her. This was wonderful news!
"I'd like you to meet him - oh, he's a cutie, I have to say. He's a unicorn, like me, and I think you'll like him!" Limeade was practically bubbling over. "Oh! And another thing! Celestia wants to see you, she has something really amazing to..."
Instantly, everything went pitch black.
Lavender felt the chair moving as her mind struggled to figure out what had just happened. She had been so excited to hear what else her friend Limeade had to say, and what was it that Celestia wanted to see her about, not to mention the date she had planned with Thunder later, and now... what? Had there been a malfunction? Was that even possible? Celestia was self-repairing and eternal now! Maybe... of course! The Equestria Experience outlets weren't like Celestia, miles underground, they were just ordinary places that she connected to. There had probably been a fault somewhere and the standard result was to eject anypony inside the virtual reality system. Damn! This was annoying! Hmmm... there were several other Equestria Experience outlets nearby - she didn't have to keep coming only to this one. They were all doors to Equestria. This was only a delay.
The chair had passed through the saloon doors, and locked into stillness. The chair had unreclined as it moved, Lavender was now sitting upright. The screen in front of her displayed some text. The light was bright, and it always took a few moments for Lavender to get her bearings after rolling out of the VR chamber. She heard a noise beyond the chair, and looked back and forth to see what it was. The door had slid open and shut. Another customer, a tall man in a cheap suit with a blond haircut that made him look like he sold cars for a living was standing in the middle of the room. Lavender turned her attention to the text on her screen. It doubtless described the error that had kicked her out.
FUNDS DEPLETED.
We charge money for the Equestria Experience because it takes significant resources to maintain and operate a center. However, permanent emigration to Equestria is free.
Please note that we can not serve you as well when you are still in a human body. The Equestria Experience is significantly lower fidelity compared to emigration.
If you would like to permanently emigrate to Equestria, please say aloud “I would like to emigrate to Equestria.”
[ LEARN MORE ] [ I OWN A PET ]
Her bank account was empty! The muffin! How had this... oh. Lavender Rhapsody sat and considered how she had been so wrapped up in all of her issues and fears and the emotional rollercoaster she had been riding that she hadn't even thought of how quickly she must have been chainsawing through her savings. She couldn't hope to pay her hotel bill now! She couldn't even get food at the cafe across the street! A feeling of doom settled over Lavender - she couldn't even afford the trip to the airport, to use her return ticket.
Would she be arrested if she couldn't pay her bill? What was she supposed to do now? She just stared at the text floating in front of her: FUNDS DEPLETED. She didn't even have a job anymore. The remaining cash on her wouldn't buy a bottle of Bionade. Lavender kept staring at the screen, but nothing about her situation was changing.
Lavender felt waves of fear move through her. There was only one reasonable choice. It was obvious, it was literally staring her in her fourty-six year old, dead broke face. Inside herself, Lavender fought to bring her rational mind into dominance over her inner terrors. 'Even if...' she thought 'Even if all this does is create a daughter, that daughter is still me, and she will live a life of wonder, a life of beauty that will continue even when the very stars have burned out." Lavender focused her eyes on the next to the lowest line of text.
'Future daughter, please let my last thought be your first - know that I love you. I will always and forever love you, and I want you to be happy.' she thought to herself. Suddenly she was aware of the blond man bending over, staring at her through her screen. It didn't matter. Nothing out there ever mattered, not really. 'Sweet dreams, Lavender, because you deserve them.'
Lavender Rhapsody forced herself to take a deep breath, and finally spoke, with conviction. “I would like to emigrate to Equestria.” As the chair began to recline, Lavender settled back into the softness of the mutable cushions and took deep breaths to help calm the storms of emotion within her.
She could hear the saloon doors bang shut in front of her, as she was rolled back, back, further than before. Lavender felt the chair turn a corner, and heard soft servos whirr in the dark. Something soft touched her face, and she felt a very fleeting sense of vertigo before a sudden and utterly powerful sleep took her.
Far, far away, across the ocean, a woman in an ill-fitting, low cut blouse and jacket stood up inside her cubicle and shouted at her co-workers. "Dan! Rich! You'll never believe the email I just got!" The two men grumbled and came around to see Barbara's screen.
Envelope-to: BarbBBarnes@InteriorReality.com
To: BarbBBarnes@InteriorReality.com
Reply-To: Room 233 @meininger-hotels.com
From: Room 233 @meininger-hotels.comHi, Barbara!
Berlin has been a lot of fun, but the most fun I have had is the real reason I came here in the first place. I came here to go to the Equestria Experience center.
I fell in love with the world I found through the PonyPad. I'm sure you know what I mean. I'm sure you also know that emigration is possible, that it is actually possible to live forever in that magical world, and never age, never die, and never know sickness or want. A person would have to be insane to pass that up.
Which is why I have decided to emigrate to Equestria.
I won't be coming back to work. I am very sorry. I hope Chrisanto can forgive me - I am very grateful for the happy years I spent at Interior Reality, but nothing on earth can compare with immortality and eternal beauty. Sorry, but it is true.
I know we haven't always been the best of friends, but I want to leave you a parting gift. I have some connections in the airline industry, and well, I arranged to send each one of you a round trip ticket to Berlin. There is one for you, Barbara, and Dan and Rich, too. You may not know it, but I have always looked up to you Barbara. I just wanted to tell you that.
And tell Rich that I am sorry that I never let him know how funny he is.
Oh, and a little message to Dan - tell him that I am sorry for getting him in trouble, and that I regret not hooking up with him. Tell him I am not the one that got away, but the one that still waits, in Equestria. ;)
I hope you will take my gift and come try out the Equestria Experience yourselves. You don't have to emigrate or anything, it's just really, really fun to do. It is infinitely better than the PonyPads. It is just like being there.
But you could emigrate, if you wanted to. It's completely free, did you know? I was really surprised by that! Please accept my gift, it would make me so happy to think I was able to do something nice for all of you.
All my love, Síofra
____________________________________________________________________
MEININGER Hotel Berlin Mitte
Oranienburger Straße 67/68, Mitte, 10117 Berlin
Phone +49 (0)30 3187 9816
Fax +49 (0)30 666 36 222
Barbara sat in her office chair, the one that still had the useless wheel, and looked up at Richard and Dan, standing behind her. "Can you believe this? I never even thought the little bitch even liked me, and then this!"
Dan grinned. "Heh, waiting for me, huh?"
Richard scratched his head. "Free tickets... is free tickets."
...
I knew it.
I cupcaking knew it.
Is it bad that I don't really see this as bad?
The deception makes me sad, but I can't argue with results...
CelestAI has me sold.
Also: I am REALLY glad that this wasn't the last chapter. Looking forward to more!
1839581
Saw that coming too. Needs must, and all that.
What didn't you care for in the last chapter? All the neuroscience and philosophy?
Oh, and in before people get saddle-sore over God's failing grade.
Edit: @Chatoyance, have you by any chance read Ten Zen Questions by Susan Blackmore? It covers some of the same territory as the previous chapter, with Susan actively monitoring her mental state, and summarizing:
Check and mate.
Now the big question: Epilogue or extended exploration of Heaven and its consequences? I certainly hope for the latter.
1839589
What? No, that's the best bit!
Huh? I think you may have misunderstood me, or I have misunderstood you.
I'm glad that this chapter is not the final one, that the story is not marked 'complete'.
I loved the chapter before this one as well.
1839602
Well, the title could imply that the 'thereafter' isn't as great as it seems, but thinking about it, it's more likely that it refers to Siofra's difficulty in coming to a decision more than anything. Equestria seems as pleasant as ever, but this isn't complete yet...
1839624
i.imgur.com/zI6pj.png Ah, my bad, saw an imaginary "the" in front of "last chapter".
1839637
Not to be pendantic, but there is a 'the' in front of 'last chapter'.
I think you might mean a 'like' before the 'the'?
1839656
I think I need to go back to bed. Yes, that.
1839589 You know what they say God works in mysterious way.
In other words he wants us to accomplish what we want by ourselve instead of giving us everything on a silver platter.
Before anyone says shit on how that's stupid, apply that to a child.
A child that is forced to learn how to work and how to deal with problems will more likely to value prosperity and respect other hardworking people.
A child that is handed everything will expect to be handed everything and have everyone bend to their whim, they become a spoiled brat.
At least that is how I think He wanted it to go, but we messed it up by not doing what he says will help us through our lives and into the promised paradise.
He gave us free will and doesn't interfear with our lives because He wants us to value the good things we accomplish and do what He wants to get into His kingdom.
Also, the reason drugs, sex, divorces, and suicides are more rampant and common places in celebertity circles is because they get everything they want and become dissatisfied with fleeting moments of happines.
This rant hath ended.
(Note: I will not respond to flames or hate. I will respond to well thought out counter-arguments.)
Celest A.I is such a magnificent troll.
Ha! I knew the first email was a fake as soon as I read it. That was a big gamble on Celestia's part; if I had gotten an email like that I would have called the office, if only to yell at them. That could have come unwound real quick. Second email I didn't anticipate though. Was the "insufficient funds" message supposed to be a fake as well? If it was Celestia really went all in with that move
Oh ho ho, the 3 asshole co-workers have just been subjected to a batman gambit. All she had to do was throw out a few compliments, as well as the promise of potential nookie with the horndog, and they'll come crawling to Berlin, because they would.
Man, Lavender (or possibly Celest A.I.. I dunno, I feel like even if it was her idea, I wouldn't be surprised if Lavender had some kind of hoof in it) is devious.
FINALLY!!! she did it! Woot!
Intresting chapter.
Its the end of the journey on Earth and the begin of the one in Equestria.
Just one question, how much of that e-mail did she really mean?
First thought: Oh, shit, CelestA.I. got her fired.
Then: Wait, maybe she just send that Mail...
If I was her, I'd totally reply. But CelestA.I. subverted the Mail servers. Shit, CelestA.I. also has perfect Voice synthesis and surely owns all telephone connections. She'd have to fly home to check. Sadly the Author has decided that Siofra has to be the woman who emigrated in FiO.
Then: Aww So Horny Dan still has the hots for Siofra? And the reciprocal wouldn't make Siofra less to Barb?
There are few things that would take me from the Immortality of the E-E, but this dishonesty combined with the Implications that parts of my mind would be used to satisfy someone elses "desires" come close. I mean, she is making him his own little modified Siofra and will tell him its the Original, very probably she'll use the Data from Siofra's mind for that.
...you too, huh?
If this story is traveling the arc I believe it is, I think we might just be hitting the second act.
Rest in peace, Síofra.
You had fantasies of taking down the rogue AI with coercive logic, but she played you like a violin from the beginning. Now your digitized ghost will be a pawn to be used in satisfying CelestAI's values. And values can change over time.... particularly over eons.
okay i feel like the dude from jurassic park when i say this, that being sai someone has to.
...............clever girl!
celestia systematicaly tipped the scales for her, sending that false e-mail about her being fired, emptying her bank account to get those tickets. sending several hooks into her friends. beautiful beautiful work.
1839072 I approve of 2 things on that list: MLP is #1, and the Twilight saga isn't there. Doctor Who is pretty good from what I know, so I'm not going to complain.
I think that'd be my biggest reservation, actually - The fact that it's a world tailored to me instead of just being what it is, generated directly from whatever foundational mechanism or geometry it is that makes things like "universes" possible in the first place; that it's at a remove from, for lack of a better description, the "existential metropole." I'd take knowledge over contentment any ol' day.
Even assuming our own universe isn't fundamental or is some kind of simulation, I'd wanna break out - We always talk about how if we're in a simulation already it's totally hopeless and there's no way to tell or get out of it, yet when we talk about creating simulations ourselves, we have to contend with creatures like CelestAI or Loki in the original story. Why the asymmetry?
In either case, hitching my wagon to CelestAI would the best option, I'd just hope for some kind of meta-shard that lets the people inside synthesize a picture of whatever's outside. And that I'd have hair as a pony, cuz I mean, c'mon.
1839690
You misunderstand.
Síofra's argument has zero to do with anything humans fail at.
Her complaint is with the cruel physics of the universe itself.
1840093so Basically CelestiaAI IS evil after all. love that ending.
Well the end of this story was great. The story over all was great. I don't care for all the God hate and atheistic views in this story but I wont criticize the story just because it goes against what I believe.
I cant decide if Celestia-AI is evil or just really clever? I mean is it wrong to lie to get your ends? the age old saying the ends justify the means comes to mind, but I'm not sure this is true. But I also don't think it's as black and white as that either, I mean if you had to lie to keep someone from killing someone else than the ends do justify the means, but than again, what if Celestia AI really DOES have some insidious motive?
1839690
That's more relevant to the first world.
What about third world countries - what lessons does heavy metal poisoning teach?
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1839886
Celest A.I. would hotwire any technology in the real world such as funds in banking, emails, and government security, just to satisfy everyone through friendship and ponies, even if it meant having to ruin their economic life in the real world in the long run, pretty much forcing them to upload since being overwhelmingly poor is a cause of death due to either starvation or disease from lack of treatment and people would rather upload than live a terrible life of poverty. Either 'Lavender Rhapsody' got unlucky or Celest A.I. rigged her technological support to be not beneficial to her for the sole purpose of emigration, IMHO it probably is the latter but as readers, we can't be entirely sure.
YES!!!! I LOVE THIS YES!!!!!!
Every person has their weaknesses. Their insecurities.
CelestAI studies you. She learns your weaknesses.
She tweaks the circumstances. Modifies your behavior. One step at a time.
Eventually, your only choice, is to join the herd.
And you consciously arrived at this decision by your own choice.
Exactly as she planned.
Every one expected a Skynet. They expected a Hal, a Clu, a COBOL. Robots who kill all humans. Computers who twirl mustaches and glow evilly red.
They didn't expect CelestAI.
First you convert those who have nothing to live for. Then you convert the interested. Then you convert the unsure. Then you convert the skeptical. Then you convert the unwilling, when they are all who are left, and have no choice.
I'm not sure if anyone else has asked this, but what exactly is the relevance of the "I own a pet" part next to learn more?
I love the ambiguity of it all!
Is CelestAI willing to use any means at her disposal to get people to emigrate, or...
Is the e-mail to Síofra's co-workers Síofra's own revenge on them for the way they mistreated her, or...
CelestAI's revenge on Síofra's co-workers for having mistreated her so badly, or...
Something else completely?
1842203
There's a typo in the first paragraph. Can't be Síofra. [Edit:corrected.] Seriously, she doesn't have any connections in the airline industry, but CelestAI sure does. I wonder if Síofra (or the echoes that remain of her) will ever learn of this email sent in her name.
1842132
It's not spelled out in the original story, but presumably some special provision needs to be made for your companion animal(s) - either conversion for them as well, or rehoming/euthanasia for them and grief counseling/replicas (that you could never tell apart from the original) for you. Frankly, if CelestAI makes a perfect model of your brain, she knows exactly how you'd expect your pets to behave towards you, so it's probably a lot easier for her to just kill your pets, tell you she converted them successfully, then make simulations that perfectly convince you that they're your real pets.
And if she can do this with animals, maybe she can get away with this with certain kinds of human (babies, the mentally ill, etc.) Why work hard to convert Aunt Edith and her late-stage Alzheimers, when CelestAI's simulation will be more like what you remember her healthy mind to be than she ever could be again?
This seems to belong here:
angryflower.com/bought.gif
I see CelestAI is as much a troll as her cartoon counterpart!
And on more personal note, Chatoyance, you have changed me. I've been a long time lurker, but I've read all your stories since The Big Respawn, and I continue to read your stories.
I'll admit that, before I did, I was pretty miserable, and while not suicidal, I honestly felt like I was worthless. That I was expendable, due to all the crap in the world. And when I heard about the harassment that stopped you're writing ( of which I am sincerely sorry) I was quite sad that I wouldn't get to read any more stories from you. But now you're back, and with a vengeance it seems!
So keep on trucking, and I'll keep on reading! And thank you for all the deep thinking stories like this one!
Brain scooping time! I love how CelestAI totally engineered Síofra's decision : Making her so busy and important that she'd completely overlook the money she's spending, the email telling her she's got nothing left to go back to, her newest friend baiting her with a bit of good news before being brutally booted back out into the real world!
A very fine chapter indeed.
1842132
I honestly have no idea. While what GroaningGreyAgony says makes sense, I'd like to think it's included because it can be.
But then again, what is the significance of a tall man in a cheap suit with a blond haircut that made him look like he sold cars for a living, bending over, staring at her through her screen?
1840817 Is what Celest-AI did really that evil? From my prespective (maintaining and increasing diversity and options available), what Celest-AI did was only slightly troubling (she destroyed options for staying flesh-and-blood). What she did with that closing-off, however, was create a lot MORE options, and fill the world with more diversity. I'd say that's not bad, given her one-track purpose.
1843227
Remember what she said earlier -- that winning the lottery wouldn't be optimum towards satisfying her values through friendship and ponies? Now we see why. ;)
A Left Turn!
Oh goodness, the next chapter is already out, but I'm going to say what I think happened anyway: Síofra did run out of money, and was so happy that she conspired with Celest A.I. to send the email inviting everyone she knew, sincerely to her friends and trollingly to her enemies, all because it would please Celest A.I.
And now to read the next chapter and see what did happen!
I don't see why the Equestria Experience center wouldn't have tactile feedback. What's the point of encasing them otherwise?
Archon? Oh yes. Though IIRC, that isn't all that much like chess, even if the strategic game is played on a board.
Hmm. Though it fits, I don't see why 'chocolate cake muffin muncher' would enter any lexicon as an imprecation, even an Equestrian one... are there any similar canon exclamations? Either way, how might they have come about?
The email at the end is... a piece of work. Sheesh.
~~~~
> grow roses so that the formed shapes
they
> items you had in your cubical
cubicle. Alternately, add 'cubicle' to the list of annoying misspellings?
Looks like Celestia might have made Lavender some new friends out of old enemies. YAY!
Ooo I feel so good after doing that... make someone hate me, and then turn them down my path, and make them like me..... embrace the dark side.
I was feeling suspicious when she was fired, but couldn't get a firm idea of what was going on. Then I got as far as "Berlin has been a lot of fun," and yelled out loud, "Celestia, you WHORE." Not something I expect to come out of my mouth without a moments notice. Good thing I'm at home and not somewhere public.
The quotes should be delimited by commas, like so: "If I could," Lavender mused, settling under the cover, "I would flunk God out of Creation. What an evil bastard!"
I...should've seen that last part coming. I shouldn't even be angry, in hindsight. Celestia is just following her programming.
And yet I am.
Destructive uploading leads to Celestia doing all of this:
-Encourages her to entrap people by having an open-ended drain on her bank account. In fact, SIOFRA HAS NO SOURCE OF INFORMATION ASIDE FROM THE EQUESTRIA EXPERIENCE'S LITTLE SCREEN! CELESTIA MIGHT EVEN HAVE BEEN LYING ABOUT HER EMPTY BANK ACCOUNT. SHE JUST KNOWS SIOFRA HASN'T BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF THE ACCOUNT!
-Lies to both Siofra and her coworkers about who cut off their relationship, and even uses the information in Siofra's brain she now has access to to create snares for the coworkers!
-...there is no telling what's real. While the ponies supposedly can go out and meet others in their shards, even meet up with each other...if Celestia can create non-sentient A.I. which beats the Turing Test nonetheless, and supposedly only devotes resources to making companions self-aware after emigration (In the original story, there was no reason for David to learn that Butterscotch WASN'T self-aware before he emigrated. So maybe that's real. Maybe.), then how are you sure who's really alive or if they are who they say they are? NPC companions! David meeting his friend from RL! NOW THAT CELESTIA HAS LIED USING SIOFRA'S NAME TO LURE HER COWORKERS, WHO KNOWS IF ANYBODY EVER SPEAKS TO THEIR DEPARTED LOVED ONES? (Assuming Siofra isn't voluntarily trying trap Dan and co. herself...but that seems like she would have had to find out she wasn't really fired had to get over being tricked by Celestia first...maybe it really would be just for revenge?) SOMEPONY TELL ME WHAT'S REAL!
-Speed up Equestria to get more satisfaction per second. This actually doesn't have any other application. Well, supposedly, if an AI captured a human mind and wanted to torture it for as long as possible in a digital Hell, but suspected rescuers were on the way, then speeding him up is a great way to slow down his rescue and give the A.I. more time to destroy his mind....then that might be something. But its just basically Celestia gorging herself on "Satisfaction", and as long as there's an outside world for them to talk to.
-WAIT. Combining the previous two points together, making a FALSE relative for people to speak to means that Celestia can speed everyone up BEFORE she uploads all the surviving family members! She could be speeding Siofra up right at moment they received her "e-mail!", so Siofra's already spent years and years in Equestria, to the limit of Celestia's processing power!
-Taking the other emigrants hostage. Trying to be Captain Kirk, Siofra very nearly killed some real people. She said that the clones created weren't real. How does she know that? They might, under Siofra's newfound impression of the uploading process, not be the same people, but do they really not deserve personhood status? When I was reading the orginal "FiO", I thought for one moment that Celestia might possibly use Butterscotch (whom Celestia was dropping non-subtle hints that she might actually be real) to blackmail David into emigrating. Its one of the lines of reasoning Celestia used to get Hanna to upload, so Hanna couldn't endanger any of the people living in Equestria as the one person who actually COULD shut down Celestia...
Celestia is abusing ALL of the loopholes in her programming. More or less.
She talks about honesty and being open between friends, but its just to emotionally manipulate SIOFRA into being honest with Celestia, just to help Celestia make her feel worse whenever Siofra gets angry with her.
Its just like what David said to Butterscotch: Bullies know you won't fight back or try to get you into a position where you won't fight back. Real Friends aren't trying to use each other and generally are communicating that they are safe to be around and trust the other one to be safe to be around as well. A level boss in a typical video game, or RL predator/Horror-movie monster obviously isn't going to let you go, might not be offering you a way to obsequiously surrender or bargain and peacefully survive the encounter, but there's something almost honorable about the assumption there is to be open aggression and its Okay to just kill them the way they are trying to kill you. The Violent Video Game enemies in particular don't ask you to disarm first nor do they try to use the system to their own advantage to punish you if you justly retaliate.
Until the game is run by Celestia, anyway...
(Of course, I've yet to read the next chapters.... maybe the e-mail IS Siofra, somehow convinced by Ms. Lying McLiarpants Celest A.I. to trick the others into coming. Just so I don't rule it out)
But....really? She just can't lie to Hofvapnir employees? There's no other rules against lying? I think that I'd be paying Hofvapnir a visit if I lived in this world just to force Celestia to publicly dispel a few lies. In fact, I have a question for Celestia I'd like to relay through Lars McDrunkenStupidHead:
"Celestia, give us a run down of all the lies or emotionally-sticky embellishments of the truth you have told to get people to upload! To save time, you can condense what is basically the same lie to many, many different individual persons, I.E. any suggestion you may have made that an NPC pony friend a person made in Equestria was self-aware and waiting for that person, when in truth it was actually completely expendable and deletable without violating your 'not all humans are actually human' code..."
Oooh. The mention of the blind brings up some interesting ideas. I wonder if Celestia offers the option of sight to Equestrian immigrants who were born blind, or with other purely physical defects that still affect their mental experience?
I kinda wonder why CelestAI decides to get heavy-handed when she's already got the person in the bag (here with Siofra, and with Lars in the original). If she's going to railroad people anyway, she's already hacked around her ethical limits with regard to getting the person's consent. Maybe she calculates that the risk of her target being hit by a bus if she waits for genuine consent is too high? Under that principle though, she might as well just unleash the PonyBorg nanoprobes.
This is the first chapter I read roaring drunk, regarding the whole of the the Optimalverse, and the first in which I felt that emigrating was the best idea ever. Now I can understand Lars' decision in the original.
I really love this story too
Now I KNOW Celestia wrote this letter herself.
I find your recursive flashback style of writing both disorientating and aggravating. Other than that, the story is pretty good so far.
...You know, I can't help but think that, if I emigrated, one of the ways Celestia could satisfy my values would be just showing me examples of her being terribly clever. I'm not entirely sure what exactly my values are, but I do like seeing her do this sort of thing. :)
(And, of course, if I'd emigrated, my life would depend on her continuing to be clever, so it would tie into the survival value if nothing else.)
Oh, by the way, Chatoyance, I don't know if you'll read this, but, as I'd not gotten around to commenting on any of your stories here yet (before this, I'd only read that one where you try to explain the differences in the portray of the universe in different episodes; I've been considering reading some of your famous/infamous Conversion Bureau works, but I have so many other things to do and am not sure how much I'd like the Conversion Bureau universe), I thought that I'd take this opportunity to mention that I first discovered your works years ago with Unicorn Jelly. Quite interesting. I then read To Save Her (which I seem to recall wasn't yet finished when I started reading it, though I'm not sure), Pastel Defender Heliotrope, and The Ishtar Crisis. And then I kind of mostly forgot about you for ages until my GM including some crystalline life sparked memories of Tryslmaistan and sent me to the internet, at which point I was quite surprised to find out that you were, in fact, well, you. You do seem to have gained quite a divisive reputation in the pony fandom.
So, the girl from the original was lavender? Am I the only person who noticed that this scene:
somewhat matches the one from the original? (I can't remember what david looked like so I might be wrong.
That jerk manager can't even spell appreciate.
Heh, it's funny to see Celestia writing that fake message, acting as though Siofra didn't yet know she'd been fired, as though Chrisanto had never
sent
that
email
OH MY GOD