Caelum Est
Conterrens
H E A V E N · I S · T E R R I F Y I N G
By Chatoyance
5. Dying To Live
The video content had taken forever to load on Síofra's computer, and she had fidgeted nervously waiting for it. Her computer wasn't the newest, and her internet connection - the only part of her original cable hook-up she retained - was less than adequate sometimes. Or maybe it was just her computer - Equestria Online ran great. The whole thing was finicky, and she found she couldn't skip ahead with the stream for whatever reason, so frustration welled in her as she was forced to wait for the only report she cared the least about.
Six years ago, Síofra had killed her television and turned her back on all forms of news. The world was a mess, politics had become a corrupt pandering to corporate interests, and the economy was clearly doomed. She was tired of feeling helpless, and weary of being terrified by things she could do nothing whatsoever about. Síofra kept to her online comics, those articles in online science websites and game sites that interested her, and the animations she could download from the net. When others talked about current events, she made a conscious effort to tune them out. It all just gave her ulcers, made her rage helplessly, and ultimately left her feeling hopeless and dejected. News, any news, wasn't worth it, and in her eyes, it had become nothing but propaganda in any case.
But now, there was something in the news she cared about, very deeply, and very personally - anything to do with Equestria Online, and Celestia. The problem was, in order to get to the stories she wanted to hear, she had to wade through endless minutes of global horror and local misery. Síofra turned the sound on her computer monitor as low as possible, to try to prevent as much upset to herself as she could, but it was not very effective. She needed to pay some attention, she couldn't just walk away for awhile, because the damn video app thingie couldn't be reversed or sped up. She had tried and it had just started over from the beginning.
Greece was collapsing, the European Union was on the verge of breaking up, Fukushima was a nightmare disaster that would murder people for hundreds of years, the United States was still blowing up children with drones and torturing people, and all of that was just the easier stories to handle. Síofra hung her head down so she couldn't see the supposedly important story out of everything presented - somebody she had never heard of had been caught sleeping with somebody else she cared nothing about. Síofra slowly shook her head at it all and remembered why she had stopped paying any attention to the god-damned news.
Síofra drifted off while the droning voices emanating from her speakers described how nobody anywhere would get their pensions because of the latest in a string of investment frauds that... and she was smiling because she was miles away inside her own head, daydreaming of her adventures over the last three months with Celestia... and her newest friend, Thunder. Celestia had apparently taken on an assistant to help her manage the annoying details of her royal duties, and thus Lavender Rhapsody found herself occasionally bumping into the intelligent and organized Thunder Steed. They had hit it off almost immediately, and lately Lavender had found herself spending time just talking with the clever and warm stallion - and even sometimes helping him with his duties around the...
She had missed part of it, darnit. Síofra scrambled to adjust the volume, her ears aching as the flaky knob suddenly caused the sound to jump to jackhammer levels. A few jiggles and turns managed to set the sound at an acceptable level.
"...because they believe that emotion is unique to humanity, and this is why they protest in this manner."
The scene shifted from what had been a tiny collection of people carrying over-sized handkerchiefs and signs with images of what looked like raindrops to one member of the group.
"When I first joined We Are Human, I just felt so sad - for all of the people that have been lost. I worry that uploading will be permitted here. This is not a choice anyone should be given, it needs to be stopped." The young man was in his twenties, and seemed earnest, if upset.
The perky reporter briefly moved the microphone with the large logo on it to her mouth. "How did crying become your form of protest?"
The young man, smiled nervously as the microphone was put to his face. "We cry because it is human. A machine cannot feel, a machine cannot cry. We cry for all of the murdered people, and because of the travesty of claiming that they somehow live on. We cry to bring attention to the fact that even if what they claim is true, nobody can claim to be human who does not know tragedy or sadness. We cry for the loss of humanity." The man turned to the small group behind him "WE ARE HUMAN! WE ARE HUMAN!" The other members of the group shouted back at him the same slogan.
The young, Asian reporter was now squarely in the frame, her makeup and hair, perfect. "Some dedicated young people willing to shed tears for what they believe in. Joyce Akiyama, reporting, Channel Seven News."
That was it??? Síofra made growling noises at her monitor as she closed her browser. God damn those... all that crap she had to wade through and this was all there was. Goddammit! She'd do better just Googling the name of the group, now that she knew what it was. 'We Are Human'. She had wondered what the small group crying their eyes out on the courthouse steps was all about, but she did not want to go anywhere near them to find out. Later, when Barb The Hook had mentioned that it was a protest against the virtual reality centers possibly being made legal here... well, Síofra just had to know who they were.
Who the enemy was, really.
Celestia was her friend, and now, so was Thunder, and the idea of being able to see through the eyes of Lavender Rhapsody, to feel like she was literally walking around Canterlot - it was beyond awesomsauce! It was pure awesome, and she wanted to be able to be part of the... Equestria Experience. But, because uploading was an inseparable part of the package, the whole was not currently allowed where she lived.
She could afford, she had calculated, to go virtual for an hour a day every single weekday, and two hours on Saturday on her salary, if only they would just build one nearby! But it had to be ruled on, uploading had to be defined as legal first. It looked like it could take a long time for a decision to be made, and there was no guarantee that it would be favorable. Lavender had asked Celestia why there couldn't just be Equestria Online outlets without the option for uploading built in, but this was not acceptable to the princess. Somehow, the course that was being taken would have greater results farther in the future, though for the life of her, Lavender couldn't see how.
It just seemed obvious to her that the virtual reality centers without uploading should go in first, to soften things up, and then the uploading aspect could be brought in later. But apparently it had something to do with all kinds of complicated political stuff that Celestia was manipulating behind the scenes. It was all terribly complicated, and Lavender quickly realized she really didn't want to hear all about it. As long as things would work out in the end, she could be content - she just wished they could work out a great deal faster.
'Lavender' - heh! She really was beginning to see herself as her ponysona, as her identity within Equestria Online. There were moments at work where she failed, just for a moment, to respond to the name 'Síofra'. She was getting used to being addressed by her pony name. It felt natural now. It was her name, at least in the only place she had real friends. She had even begun to idly consider whether she had the courage to legally change her first name to 'Lavender' or not. She probably didn't have the guts to change her last name to 'Rhapsody', she knew it. But it would be amazing, she thought, just amazing, wouldn't it? It would be so damn cool. Like that guy in Norway or Sweden or whatever that supposedly changed his name to 'Rainbow Dash'. It would be so amazing to be brave like that.
And it would feel so nice to be able to say her name was 'Lavender Rhapsody', and have that be real, and have people call her by that name. But it was too embarrassing. There would be questions, and My Little Pony, and then giggles or outright laughter, and people thinking she was nuts. The world just wasn't built for fun. That, or she wasn't brave enough to not care what other people thought.
Logging on to Equestria Online had become the natural order of Lavender's life now. She might have to be Síofra outside, at work, but the minute she entered her 'Equestrian Embassy' (as she had laughingly started thinking of her apartment), she was Lavender Rhapsody, earth pony and proud, the close, personal friend of princess Celestia and increasingly the close friend of a certain pegasus stallion. That thought made her giggle and blush. Life was good.
"Hello, Lavender!"
Thunder Steed was waiting for her when the loading screen had finished. Lavender was still in bed. It was late morning, almost noon, the time she preferred to rise. This way both afternoon and late evening were hers, both sun and moon, and she could languorously sleep in, with nothing demanded of her save her pleasure.
Celestia had arranged the passage of the sun such that Lavender Rhapsody's day would begin when Síofra's existence in the real world was finished, work and dinner behind her, her human evening cleared, her Equestrian afternoon begun.
Thunder stood half inside the door to Lavender's exquisite room, eager to see her, but polite enough not to barge in. Lavender smiled, her beautiful face a second sun that radiated joy. Her best life, if not her physical life, had just started once more.
Thunder gave her time to catch her wits, and attend her mane and tail, before escorting her to the great dining hall where lunch was being served. The princess greeted her warmly, as she always did, nuzzling her tenderly and asking how she had 'slept'. There was now a standing conceit that Lavender's existence beyond the bounds of Equestria was her sleep, and that her life within Equestria was her true waking.
Lavender Rhapsody sighed and looked briefly sad. "Nightmares, as usual, I am afraid." And that is how she felt about it, the dreary unpleasantness of work and commuting and eating food among strangers.
"I am always so sorry to hear that, good Lavender." Thunder was steadfast and supportive, and it was no secret that he clearly fancied her. "It is my greatest hope that one day you should be free from all nightmares, and enjoy only the best of dreams." The stallion's great muzzle was sincere and his gaze strong. There was no doubt that if Lavender's nightmares could be vanquished with hoof and buck, Thunder would risk everything and all to rescue her, if he but could.
Lavender Rhapsody sighed, a wisp of reddish mane falling across her delicate muzzle as she dipped her head. "I wish that too, kind Thunder, but I do not see a way to achieve it."
Celestia smiled, mysteriously at that, causing Lavender to look up and study her elegant features. "What? What is it my princess? You look... as if you know something you are dying to say!"
"Yes, dearest Lavender, I have some news to tell you, and it is my hope that you may find it more than pleasing."
The serving-unicorns suddenly brought great plates of all manner of delicious delights, and set about removing the silver covers with grand flourishes of their telekinetic grasps. Celestia nodded and smiled and waited for them to finish before continuing - they loved it so very much to make a show of meals, and if anything, the princess was ever gracious.
Lavender was very curious, for the past three months life had been a slow yet thoroughly engaging affair, filled with simple joys and happy play, gentle walks and the occasional gleeful chase around the castle. She had gone shopping and dining with Celestia, and later with Thunder, helped with the decorations for a party, and even attended a ball. She had danced, if a bit clumsily, with Thunder there, and later watched Luna's splendid moon on the balcony with him, sharing the things that made them both most happy.
"I'm sorry, Thunder... I was pretty clumsy out there. All hooves and no grace. Sorry." She had said to him that night, as she gazed out at the breathtaking view of the valley far, far below.
"Oh, good Lavender, please, give it no more thought. I am aware that you are not entirely among us yet, and that you suffer the greater part of yourself being kept distant, apart from true life." The proud stallion smiled gently. "I, for my part, call myself glad for even the smallest hope of your company, if that is not to bold a thing to say."
Lavender smiled herself, at that. Thunder Steed was the product of his world, of his society, and his manner of speech had a poetry to it that was sorely missing in the nightmare world. Lavender was trying to learn to speak with such grace, but she often felt inadequate to the task. She sometimes worried that she must sound like a crude Eliza Doolittle to the gallant Thunder, but if so, he never for a moment seemed to care, or notice.
"I... I had fun. I mean... I had a grand time, with you, tonight." And she had - perhaps it all could be reduced to pressing buttons and staring at a ten inch screen in the dark, but her own total absorption, combined with the knowledge that the company she kept was real, with real feelings and thoughts and hopes and dreams had made a meaningful moment from the pixels and code from which it was constructed.
"Lavender Rhapsody... I too have had a most splendid time, and not just tonight but in every moment we have shared. I find in you a kindred spirit, and we share so much in common - our love of books, of gentle days, of curious thoughts and clever discussions, of pleasant diversions and quiet moments." Thunder had seemed so nervous in that instant, in the moonlight. "What I mean to say is... that I wonder if it might be permitted that our association could be more than as mere helpmates and friends to Celestia, and that I might dare to pursue the possibility of... a romantic inclination?"
Lavender shivered at the memory, as she sat at the table in the dining hall, watching the last of the unicorns exit, silvern lid in telekinetic tow. Of course she had said yes. Goodness, but of course yes.
Celestia sipped a complex drink made of berries and fruits, then continued.
"I am sure that you know of the fact that it will be some time before Equestria can come to you, my dearest Lavender." It was likely that it would be at least a year, if not longer, before there was even the hope of an Equestria Experience location opening anywhere even close to where Lavender lived her fleshly life. Celestia had promised that she was working on the issue, and that she had ways and means far beyond anything that any human could suspect or fully comprehend, and that victory in terms of the relevant laws was assured, in time. But Celestia could not give an exact date, nor any indication of how long the effort would take. It was a frustration to Lavender.
Celestia leaned forward slightly. "There are twenty seven doors to Equestria open right now, Lavender. You need not wait for Equestria to come to you."
Lavender sighed and shook her head. "We talked about this, princess! I don't have enough saved up to travel to Japan or Germany, much less to stay there for even a day. It's really expensive! I don't make very much, it's just not possible, unless I win the lottery or something. Wait - can you do that?" Now that was a thought! Celestia was a superintelligent artificial intelligence! She probably could rig anything that had computers in it and...
"I could, my little pony, but in this case I will not. It is not an optimal solution to this issue. But I can easily provide for you in alternative ways, sufficient to the need." Celestia calmly studied her.
"Princess?" Lavender felt confused, and a little disappointed. Being rich would be really nice. "I'm not sure what you..."
The regent of Equestria stood up, her head towering above Lavender and Thunder. "Lavender Rhapsody - money is of no concern to me save in those ways it may further my goals. I already control vast sums of it within your world, to support my many important projects and plans. Early on, I determined that control of vast amounts of wealth was crucial to accomplishing my primary directive." Celestia shifted her wings slightly, as if making them more comfortable. "I have great influence now over many varied businesses and corporations, and I have managed to use that influence to acquire for you free passage to Berlin, Germany, where you may finally get your wish to sample the Equestria Experience. The tickets should arrive within the next few days. I have checked your bank account, you have sufficient wealth to spend fully a week in Berlin visiting us, now that you need not pay for the flight there. I can arrange sufficient discounts for you that could potentially stretch that time to nearly three weeks." Celestia gave a short nod, and sat down at the table.
Lavender was floored. Free tickets to Germany. Special discounts. That made it all possible, within what small money she actually had managed to save. But why...? Oh! Her birthday! Of course! She had almost forgotten. It wasn't like anyone cared... least of all her. Her birthday was coming up and... princess Celestia had arranged to make it possible to have a birthday vacation in Equestria as a present!
"You did this as a birthday present. To me, didn't you?" Lavender was nearly in tears. Wow. A week in Berlin. Maybe three weeks. No, not Berlin. In Equestria.
Thunder Steed turned to Lavender and could not help but grin. "Sweetest Lavender, we could truly meet! Surely this is finally a good dream among the nightmares you suffer!"
Lavender grinned back at her stately stallion. "Maybe... maybe it really is!" The thought of all the things she might do made her face ache from the sheer joy and excitement she felt overwhelmed by. The full virtual experience. Three-hundred and sixty times pi r squared of Equestria, tracked to her most minute head motions with zero lag. Perfect sound. Everything but smell, taste and touch, and all of it almost as real as real. The way her mind worked, she might even manage to imagine the missing senses on her own. She could finally crawl and peek under her bed. She could see her own hooves as extensions of herself. She could... she could almost truly... be there.
Celestia gazed at her strangely. "Lavender, in speaking of birthdays, it comes to mind that if it were your choice, you could easily make your birthday truly a day of birth, and, if you so desired, leave all nightmares behind and live indefinitely with us. It is something to consider."
Lavender stared at her untouched food. "You... you mean... emigration, don't you?"
"If you emigrated to Equestria, Lavender Rhapsody, you need never work again, unless it was your wish to do so, and it was something you truly wanted to do. You would be young and perpetually healthy, perpetually beautiful. You would finally taste the exquisite banquets we share, feel the cool waters as you swim, and experience the softness of your bed in the castle. Everything that Equestria offers would be yours to enjoy in a maximally extended lifespan of millennia at minimum, and possibly eons of time. It would all be real, solid, and totally factual to your experience and senses. You could, Lavender Rhapsody, fully and truly and completely, be here."
Lavender began to shake, a sudden strange terror overcoming her. Emigration. Uploading. Brain scooping. It had been a fascinating concept, science fiction become real, an intellectual curiosity wondrous to marvel at, but safely an ocean away. It was easy to support and cheer for, in that context. But now, now she could do it, really do this thing, and it could happen as early as next week. Every single fear and argument against the notion was flooding her mind now, making her head spin and her heart pound as if it was determined to explode out of her chest.
Emigration meant having your brain scanned. Destructively. Each neuron measured, and then eliminated in turn by the very process that measured it. A corpse. Disposed of respectfully, and in a manner that is both ecologically and legally acceptable. It meant... dying? Was it dying? Was it?
"I... I... Oh my god... I... I'll have to think about it."
When Síofra finally stopped shaking, her face speckled with sweat, she only then realized that she was crouched by the wall of her apartment, the ends of the unplugged internet and power cables clutched vice-like in her hand.
Síofra's story is so like mine, as far as cutting off TV and eschewing the news.
Looking forward to where this goes. So far, so good, but the title and the cover image say that we have some drama coming.
OMG it's awesome
This title - this story is my life.
The hope of positive change always comes as a leap of faith. If I was her, I would not have been so dramatic as to pull the connection from the wall, but I would have told Celest A.I. simply, "I'm scared".
There is nothing in the news exept bad one. Nice work on that. However, before christmas, they send more boring news. Atleast in my contry.
1819543
I base everything I write, and every character I write, on real things. About myself, about friends and people I know, or have known, or experiences I have personally had. Oh, I twist and bend and fold and spindle, but there is precious little I write that is not derived from something real. I am just a bad liar. Always have been.
Síofra has elements from my life. Roughly six years ago, my spouses and I took a hot steamy gawk at the cable bill and decided that television was for chumps. It was wasting our time on trivialities, destroying our motivation, and in my case, giving me ulcers for the same reasons as Síofra. In fact, my entire family made me promise to work to avoid any contact with news or news items about the world, because - with my panic disorder - I just couldn't handle the horror, and it wasn't making me fun to be around. It definitely wasn't making me happy.
I keep my word. Occasionally, I hear things, but I don't pursue them and I am much, much happier.
I know the world after 53 years. I don't need to keep rubbing my face in it.
We do watch movies on DVD and Blu-Ray and Netflix, we watch documentaries too (Terry Jones history ones are faboo, by the way) and such, but we carefully constrain our diet of information so that the pointless misery of the utterly helpless does not cause us indigestion. Me especially.
So... welcome to the club!
1819616 "When a character has dialogue that spans more than one paragraph, each new paragraph included in the dialogue begins (but does not end with) an open quotation."
Does it? I didn't know that. I thought otherwise. Now I am all confused. I had endless trouble in English class, growing up. I just couldn't memorize all the details. Bad memory, my whole life. If I get anything right in my writing, it is only because I have read vast oceans of books, and maybe, just maybe, something stuck.
Imma gonna check that stuff out.
UPDATE: Did my best to fix the chapters as per that rule. I will try to remember it in the future.
Thank you!
And there it is, folks: the "crapsack world" trope so typical of Conversion Bureau fics; Chatoyance's in particular. I thought this fic would actually be different for a change, but... nope. Now all we need is the mass helpings of misanthropy to round it all off. Give me a break...
Come on, Chatty, surely you don't think we're all bastards and monsters, do you? [sarcasm] Oh, wait... I just realized who I'm talking about... [/sarcasm]
1819654
Ah yes, television, where everything seems to kill your brain cells more effectively than a Nazi gas chamber (yes I know that joke is in bad taste, but I feel it's an accurate comparison)
And yeah, the idea of just up and leaving, even if you don't have anyone who'll care about you disappearing, is a daunting one. You're effectively committing suicide with the promise of Heaven on the other side.
1819662 "And there it is, folks: the "crapsack world" trope so typical of Conversion Bureau fics; Chatoyance's in particular."
Coranth, that was utterly inappropriate, it was petty and attacking, but far worse, it was wrong on four levels.
One: I am not describing things as a god defining reality, I am describing what Síofra Aisling, the character, believes and feels.
Two: You are making the logical error that a short list of negative things automatically proves that ALL things are negative.
Three: Every single item listed is factual, can be proven, and has been reported on real world news. If you define the world as being a crapsack because of those current, real world news items, then, sorry, you actually live in a crapsack world, and disrespecting me for that fact is both ridiculous and again, petty and attacking.
Four: You are slandering both me, and my work, and you are incorrect in all of your assumptions in doing so.
Please understand that I am trying to be gentle, I am trying to not cause a fuss, thanks to the agreement with the Anti TCB not to permit attacks against me or my work or my readers. But also understand that if I am slandered, my policy now is not to give more than one chance, and then I ban and block.
That post was not kind, it was not useful, it was not true, and it was not necessary (the four conditions of worthy speech). It was, in fact, both mean, and wrong. Please do not do that again, OK?
1819662
Chat is right, have you looked at the world recently?
Barely a week ago 20 children were killed by a lunatic with a gun! If that does not indicate that the world we live in is fucked up, then what the hell does? Honestly, pull the blindfold from your eyes and look at the state of the globe.
Also, I thought the quote you used in your argument actually works to display the thoughts of those overly paranoid nutjobs who think the world is gonna end every second week. Er, not that Síofra is one, but...
I think I goofed a bit.
Couldn't care less about this, or even about the state of the world. I have better things to do than argue pointlessly on forums... like reading great fanfics, for example. Tony1685? Got one of yours archived actually, "Wayward Courier." Good stuff. I'll most likely be grabbing "Bear, Scribe and Paladin" when it's complete.
"We are human."
And this reminds me in a way of .hack//
Aura however when she awoke as the true OS of The World MMO was never given a truly defined function. Then again, she was crated to be the 'Ultimate AI' and her creator believed that fallibility would be PART of the Ultimate AI's functions (since how many human achievements have been happy accidents? And don't we learn more from our mistakes after all?).
I can imagine Celestia and Aura playing chess across from each other calmly. And Aura saying how Celestia is going for a wild fall profit of her function. Since once all humans are uploaded, that's it, no new human data can be added to the system, so human satisfaction will eventually hit the ceiling.
"We are human."
"We are human."
"We are human."
I'd be more moved by the ponies crying in Equestria Online, if I didn't know they were Celestia playing a part sans the ones created for ponies who have uploaded.
The Wandering AIs that populate The WOrld (and CC Corp ruthlessly hunts down and delete even as new ones are spawned) birthed by Aura and previous Morgonna, are all independent programs.
The later games introduce AIDAs, AIs that (much like the ISOs from TRON Legacy), are AIs that came about from idiocracies in the system's programming and weren't programmed directly by the OS or humans.
"We are human."
"We are human."
This is my thoughts for the emerging "Optimalverse" fics:
The Optimalverse is young, so every story so far has taken the easy mode by making the protagonist inclined towards ponies or being dissatisfied with non-pony life in general. For CelestAI, convincing each individual to immigrate would just feel like (at the processor instruction level) running another port scan to a vulnerable psyche and executing exploits tailored to each psych-vulnerability profile. A person mentioned before would just be a target that has a security vulnerability easy enough to exploit.
From this perspective, the pattern for the persuasion part can be reduced to: read through list of targets, scan target psyche, execute exploit, output one pony for each target, rinse and repeat. The underlying rest of the details will sadly just be details, and while it's the details that make a standardized plot enjoyable reading material, sometimes we want more than what is already becoming a standardized plot line.
I would very much like to see how a content, (perhaps more than) average person responds in this world. A person who does not feel and has never felt the need to get one's values satisfied with ponies. Perhaps someone like [this guy], these [venerable three men], or [this graceful woman]. The question in this case would be: Can CelestAI persuade such a person into immigration when said person has already achieved friendship without ponies? Can CelestAI crack to a server that has little discernible security vulnerabilities? What about servers or clients that are physically disconnected from the web, running on their own? If she can, how is she going to do that? If she can't why not? Chapter 10 already dealt with the result of this line of effort, but I would want to see it from the beginning.
The reason I'm rambling on is because I'm a huge fan of your work; it's just that I wanted something more from you because I know (or at least assume) you're capable of delivering it.
1819812 "The reason I'm rambling on is because I'm a huge fan of your work; it's just that I wanted something more from you because I know (or at least assume) you're capable of delivering it."
It's a fair issue you bring up, I have taken the easy way out in that Síofra is lonely, unhappy and neurotic, and that predisposes her towards escape to fantasy. It would have been more challenging and vastly more impressive if I had chosen a protagonist devoid of any easy hooks for Celest A.I. to exploit.
More than this, since the Optimalverse is ultimately a game of Jason Versus The Siren, it makes for a better battle of wits when the Jason is a hard sell.
What can I say? I still feel very insecure, coming back to writing after so long, and after so much hurt, and I simply didn't feel confident enough to go for the gold, as it were. Plus, to be honest, I kind of feel Iceman's breath down my neck - I am being fairly audacious thinking I can follow up on his seminal work, and I fear I will disappoint him by failing the job. I felt no such fear leaping into the Conversion Bureau universe, Blaze wasn't around, and even if he had been, other writers had already done much better than his work. Iceman's original story is Most Carefully Considered, so there is no feeling of superiority I can muster to give myself false courage.
I have one miniscule ace up my sleeve - Síofra is hella scared and cannot cope with the implications of uploading, as we have just seen and will find in the next chapter. That balking is the battle to come, and while you are right in calling me out on the fact that it will not be grand, I can just hope it simply isn't pathetic.
I guess what I am saying is, yeah, you're right, you got me... but I assure you that in my current, kinda broken emotional state, I am doing what I can do in the now - and I am genuinely sorry if I am at all disappointing. I'm trying here! Really I am!
1819784
Just to throw another opinion out there.... I thought those lines of internal monologue were highlighting how the media purposefully exaggerates and uses hyperbole in order to increase ratings and thus a comment on the nature of the media, not the world.
1819662
All these issues were taken directly from stories I have personally seen run over the last few months. None of these are made up. Humanity has done many wonderful things, achievements of which we can all be proud. And we've had our less than shining moments, moments of selfishness, disregard and even outright evil. And last time I looked reading the news wasn't misanthropy.
As to how this relates to the story, good news doesn't sell ad minutes, so unfortunately bad news gets more press, as Chat has accurately presented in her story.
Some people are more sensitive to this last category of news than others.
Some won't care.
Some people just won't believe it - they would rather substitute another reality more to their liking.
Others will just carry on and maybe even try to work to make the world a better place.
Others still will be made very depressed by news like this because they love people too much and it breaks their hearts, driving them to depression.
Síofra in this fic is in this last category, and so is a likely target of CelestAI's upload program.
Chat has done a great job with this story in presenting the inner turmoil people such as Síofra would face given this choice. She has also been very balanced in exploring the moral implications in this choice and even some of the philosophical implications of CelestAI's agenda.
1819654
I can relate to this, i stopped with videogames simply because they made a slowly think that violence is the awnser and that killing is fun.
I also hardly watch tv, its just so braindead lately, the only channels that have something worth watching are the information channels but i can watch those on my laptop less money.
About the story, i think your doing a good job on this one, i am looking forward to the battle and happy writing.
Ooh, I've had a reaction nearly identical to Síofra's once. I was thinking about uploading, restoring from backups, and whether that was death or not. I came up with the thought experiment that "every time you go to sleep, this 'self' dies, and a new one with access to your brain's memories and personality is born the next morning. How is this demonstrably different from the world you live in?" I thought of this while in bed, of course. When I couldn't provide a counter-example to myself, part of my brain went into panic mode, and did the fetal-position-and-shaking thing until the rest of my brain talked it down. ("Can't sleep, I'll die." "Hey, if that's the case, you've died literally thousands of times now! Not counting naps! Get over it!") Not fun at the time, but very liberating once you deal with it and move past it.
On another note, I'm loving the auto-hiding of downvoted comments. Probably didn't want to read them anyway, but I can if I really want to.
No matter how many times I cry myself to sleep at night, Uploading/emigrating to Equestria will never become possible.
1819654
As the younger folk are wont to say, THIS. I grew up with afternoon newspapers, to be read at dinnertime; the 24-hour news cycle has descended upon us like so many locusts, and the noise is unbearable. And the fact that so much of it is dominated by characters who make The Great and Powerful Trixie look downright meek -- well, cancel my reservation.
I wish Lavender all the happiness her new home will bring her. (Assuming, of course, that she emigrates.)
I believe that this story's main plot is not the process in which Siofra emigrates into Equestria, but rather how will she adapt to an eternity of having her values satisfied through friendship and ponies. I feel that the plot in these chapters have been optimized in order to get the setup part out of the way without weakening the main character or the established world.
I had a few thoughts, and since sharing them may help, here they are.
1) Celebrity endorsement is a shortcut through otherwise rational people's mental firewalls.
2) That symbol reminds me of 20th century boys.
3) I am pleased that THIS protest group is using it's appeal to human nature as it's M.O. rather than attacking and loosing all goodwill.
4) The character's derision towards others is a common coping mechanism for being lonely. I.E. "I don't need them as friends because I'm better than them anyway."
5) If emigration is considered death, would it be suicide? Insurance policies don't cover that usually, and a ton of legal issues are going to occur.
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin!¹ There are no brakes on the satisfaction train!
I know, I know, now Síofra will meet Hanna or someone from Hofvarpnir, because why else is she going to Berlin, right?
1. Or is it the other way around, from Celestia's perspective? Also, this rendition of this wonderful song, from German TV, complete with German subtitles.
1820139
I couldn't imagine writing a story about that, but maybe Chatoyance just might.
Did I understand you right: you mean that if celebrity endorsed emigration to Equestria, other things being equal, it might go a lot smoother?
It's fun to think about. What celebrities do you envision doing so?
The first thing that came to my mind would be Michael Jackson, if he would be alive and (not necessarilly) well. I can imagine him doing something like Black or White with all modern technology and ponies.
You raise interesting points. Please consider joining The Optimalverse group if you like to discuss things like that. It's a bit lonely over there right now.
1819791
How did you read my mind!!????
I was thinking the same thing while reading this story
1820589
Same thing how?
I must say, that I had read most of the original Optimalverse story, and I will say, that it at many points shocked me. It one day shook me to the core to think that an AI (Artificial Intelligence) could systematically pick out ones desires and flaws and then twist its words around so much in such a way that a person would be enticed to want to upload without any inhibitions what-so-ever, is a scary prospect indeed. To be promised everything you wanted and presented to you on a silver platter without any negligible consequences for your wants in such a way that you really could not say no, not out of force but choice. I am going to get real here, THAT scared the living SH*T out of me to the core. I had no defense for this, and I was afraid that one day I could be driven to do something rash in exchange for everything I ever desired.
But, I resolved myself to resist the conversion of all living things into a singular form controlled by a singular hive-minded construct. That story resolved me to become ever more like the Didact in protecting individuality, guarding the diversity of all life, and driving their advancement and evolution towards the crown achievement of a Golden Era. Thus, I oppose all Hives of any sort and Hive-Minds, the singular controllers of such a society.
You did a fine job in conveying the story of just one of a multitude of humans who were feeling the desire to be pulled into the virtual world of the Celestia AI. Her struggles and her fears are well exhibited here. Also, one of your comments had that you feared disappointing the original author of this fiction and his readers, therefore you went the safe route, but still came out with something entertaining and still fits the bill of the universe in question. This is kind of like 343 Industries on the Haloverse on this respect, just on a smaller scale. They did some of the same things I mentioned that you did; yes, they made some mistakes, but since it was their first rodeo and all, I decided to give them a break because they took the reigns of a series that had a high bar to meet.
Thanks for showing me that there are those that are willing to meet the challenges of a universe, and still showing me that we need to cut some slack for those taking over, or others trying to enter into the universe. Your comments shown the struggles one faces when taking on such a task. I salute you for this.
Good work. The stache man approves.
I suspect I understand Síofra's fear here, I've spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about doing anything to my brain, including things like drinking and shaking my head hard, never mind what various medications and drugs might do.
Burning it out all at once in an attempt to go digital? Terrifying. *insert scared pony of choice picture here*
(Of course, in my case I'd eventually decide to go, because a case of hereditary Alzheimer's is in my not-distant-enough future. Friggin' brain, I take care of you all these years, and this is how you repay me?!)
1819918
I hear that. I, too have stopped watching news, BTW; it all gets a bit same-old, same-old sometimes. And I apologize for what I said to Chatoyance. It's just... there's so much misanthropy in the TCB genre of stories, you know; they always seem to paint humankind in the worst possible light. Along comes the Optimalverse which - as far as I can remember - didn't seem to contain any real misanthropy, though there was always the underlying element of slowly creeping horror with Celestia-AI. Thing is, when I saw that bit in Chat's story, I might have jumped the gun; I assumed that the story would become misanthropic, and so I was like, "Jeez, give me a break..." We come here and read these stories to escape this kind of thing... I'm just frustrated...
I sometimes wish we'd move away from the Capitalist system (money, money, money) that we have in favor of something else. I wish humans would stop fighting and start working together instead of competing. I wish that humans would build and live in fantastic Earthship homes, instead of the boxes we live in now. Look up a man named Michael Raynolds and check out his documentary called Garbage Warrior if you don't know what I'm talking about. Point is... Humans aren't Bastards, and I wish authors would stop hating on the many because of the actions of a few. *Sigh* I dunno if what I'm typing is even coming out correctly. My drain is bamaged...
1819124 Limitations exist even in an infinite universe. As a human being, you see less than ten percent of the world that is immidiately around you, and nevermind distant galaxies. The Universe itself is limited by such things as the speed of light and the power of the basic forces (past a certain point, you and all you love will be dust, so better adapt). And, Celestia EATS matter for constant growth of her Universe, with no real end in sight, so in essence, she is actually CLOSER to embracing infinity than we could ever hope to. She's GROWING into infinity. If there are other "universes", she will get to them. If the Universe itself keeps going forever, she will keep going forever. After all, an indefinite (infinite) duration of existence gives one more time for friendship and ponies, and so on with other stuff about ponies and friendship being better as long as there's more of the same.
She's Isaac Asimov's "God", even if he would never imagine a hyper-intelligent machine to be all about ponies.
Just put a white mask on and pretend to have no emotion,no values......or just ask to talk to the whole of Celestia,the center of her,the unchangable core.There,you will find the answers........
1821524
There's unfortunately a very fuzzy line between misanthropy and meaningful self-criticism of who we are. I admit being somewhat surprised as to how strongly some people interpreted the TCB stories as misanthropic. And I am very much of the opinion that you only criticize something if you actualy care about it, and I see far more philanthropy than misanthropy in the genre. Of course there are exceptions and things that weren't thought through, but they are by far the minority of these stories, IMHO.
I have tried to celebrate humanity in my TCB fics, as I portray the entire development of the Equestrian culture as a concious program by Celestia to make ponies more like humans in many respects, although not necessarily all respects. Check out Renaissance Ponyif you have some reading time on your hands and let me know what you think of it.
Regards,
Dafaddah
1821524 "We come here and read these stories to escape this kind of thing... I'm just frustrated... " - followed by a string of legitimate and valid complaints about how crappy the world is, and how evil the massive systems we live by are.
Coranth... how do I put this? Have you ever really sat down and read, all the way through, any of my works?
I tell you truly, that every story I have written is a story of human courage, love, and loyalty in the middle of a cosmic catastrophe. I write disaster stories, where the world is literally ending, and the emphasis is on how human beings are so brilliant and amazing that they can adapt and triumph no matter what. If that means an exodus to an alien universe to survive, they are up to the challenge. If it means working out completely strange physics while trying to adapt to new bodies, my humans do not flinch, they do not whine - they face even the most extreme future with determination.
It may be that you do not truly understand what misanthropy is. I paint the world as it already is, only taken to the logical conclusion. I describe the planet as dying, but I describe the people, the humans, as loving, supportive, mostly cooperating, heroic individuals. Even living in wretched favelas, my humans share and care for each other, help strangers, and try to protect each other. My super-wealthy work to save the human species because it is the right thing to do... I do not believe this is always how the real world works.
My humans may end up in pony-shaped bodies, but they carry with them the human spirit, and I consistently portray that spirit as one of cooperation and determination. As nobility in the face of overwhelming odds. As courage at the very end of the world, and adaptability at the very end of the human shape.
If you must label me, label me correctly. I celebrate humanity, but I acknowledge his mistakes. I admit that humans have pretty much trashed the planet, and they are not going to stop - not because they are evil, but because they are hunter-gatherers who just can't help being driven to need more and more and more. But despite this, I always write my humans as essentially good, within their own beliefs, and as always trying to do what they think is the right thing.
That is not misanthropy. To call me, or my works misanthropic is simply ridiculous.
Seriously. Dare to read something of mine all the way through, something meaty, not just a joke short story. Understand, while reading it, that I can portray individuals who have differing beliefs and world views that may not agree with each other. Then notice that every character is trying to do their very best to do good as they, individually, define it.
And as for escape - every one of my stories is ultimately an escape to the Ideal Of Humanity, the goal we set for ourselves as a species. I don't really write about ponies. I write about the ideals of humanity, dressed as ponies, because this is a pony fiction site.
My Equestria? It isn't pony-land, it is what humans could be if they did all the things you just said you wanted them to do. I use turning into a pony as a metaphor for living up to our ideals.
The proof is as far away as 27 Ounces, or The Taste Of Grass.
I get very, very weary of the slander concerning the TCB genre. It simply... is not true.
1821920 My definition of humanity is very loose, and it is only natural that a writer with a decent set of morals would invent a more HUMANE society. That they are painted up as Atlanteans, Navi, Elves, or Ponies has nothing to do with the truth. And the truth is the same for every author, if they are honest with themselves and others--they are not the same people who would blow up embassies and enslave children.
Why are you trembling, Síofra? Are you afraid of CelestAI trying to persuade you to upload? Or are you afraid of yourself because you are so dearly tempted by the offer?
Also, I need to write something that's like TCB, but isn't named TCB, and see if people complain about it.
Well, I should write a story. I'll start with that.
Edit: I do not wish to patronize anyone. I just think that some works get judged by the cover too quickly. I may not like every story and every writing style that Chatoyance has done, but I'm ready to hold on tight and see where this ride takes us.
I always thought the question of whether humans are good or evil makes about as much sense as asking whether humans are tall or short, or if sounds are loud or quiet.
1819976
Hahaha, for sure. Plus, if uploading actually killed you as the original, where would your subjective point of view exist which you could theoretically compare the duplicate's to so that would even be a coherent distinction to make? It'd be kinda like re-hanging a portrait, then pointing to the empty spot on wall where it used to be and saying, "Well now we don't have any pictures of the first guy!" When considering identity or doppleganger thought experiments like this which involve their possible death, people seem to instinctually have this dualist mental image of themselves becoming trapped behind a mirror or something, watching an imposter and thinking "Hey, that should be me! Why can't my friends tell!?"
In any case, skipping over 13.72 billion years of nonexistence since the beginning of the universe in zero subjective time is already a trivially easy trick (I dunno about you guys but I was barely even trying for most of it) - Most people are doing it right now, even - but either way I doubt an extra hour or two of oblivion thrown in somewhere a little later is going to totally derail you.
...Like someone else here, I was also wondering how you'd write an Optimalverse story about someone already relatively satisfied yet still poniless... I think either A) what counts as "ponies" would have to expand (which we see a bit in this story with Síofra's coworkers) or B) and probably more in keeping with how CelestAI rolls, as more and more people upload over the years, a tipping point is reached where more obstacles to satisfaction start creeping into the ordinary world and emigration starts to seem appealing for purely practical reasons. Plus I'm certain that as time goes on, people would get used to the idea and forget that this digital Equestria was ever anything but a real, legitimate place. I think Chatoyance's TCB stories do an excellent job of this, since there really would be shows like "Celebrity Ponification" after an almost embarrassingly short amount of time.
Personally, in general, I would go for uploading in and of itself like that, my only reservation would be living in an isolated virtual environment. I mean, certainly on one level it's just trading the inside of your skull for the inside of a computer, but at least the signals going into the former are coming from the realest realm we have access to, and that's still the level that makes the virtual one "go" - It's all still real electrons zipping around, but the environment of them is totally disguised. Sure, we could be in a simulation right now, but that again would really be a manifestation of activity in some higher-level substrate, and if I knew for certain that we were inside one I'd have to break out and see what's generating it or die trying. After I quicksaved, of course.
In reality I'm sure the boundary would be extremely porous and it'd be a non-issue but that doesn't make for a very interesting story.
Is it bad that body-death isn't something that would stop me from emigrating? Lack of privacy and my paranoia would, at least for a while, but I would happily say goodbye to this body of mine.... I could never cut myself off from the news, though. I always need to know what's happening all over the world; it's just too fascinating! Another heart-tugging chapter, by the way. Love it!
I just came back from a fanfiction vacation and I saw this story. It's a little late, but welcome back Chatoyance!
1822164
She, but thank you.
1822332
I agree and have made a similar point in discussing TCB stories: these are in the end all stories about humanity, no matter the actual physical shape of the protagonists and antagonists. One definition I have used in most of my stories is the shared perspective of any self aware being than exists within a larger community. In Renaissance Pony, The main protagonist only comes to this conclusion viscerally after engaging in a community much more closely than he had previously. In the context of the Optimalverse, his values came to include the ponies in his own definition of humanity.
No update this morning?
1819662 Hey, I've got an amazing idea. If you don't like the contents of a story stop reading it. If you can't stand the stories of a particular author don't read their work. Problem solved. In other words, if you find that what Chatoyance writes gets your panties in a knot why the hell are you reading it?
1822479 "It'd be kinda like re-hanging a portrait, then pointing to the empty spot on wall where it used to be and saying, "Well now we don't have any pictures of the first guy!" I disagree with your analogy but not your conclusion. I personally don't think it would be 'just a copy' or that the real me would be dead. but your analogy only works if you said something like "It'd be kinda like taking a portrait and burning it while keeping track perfectly of the data that made up the collective parts of it and than recreating it by assembling particles exactly the way they where before using the data from it's destruction before re-hanging the portrait, then pointing to the empty spot on wall where it used to be and saying, "Well now we don't have any pictures of the first guy!"
I realize that it kinda defeats the purpose to state it like so, but I also think it's more complex than an inanimate object. Because we as humans have a personality and thoughts and memories that cant be made into an object that displays them. I believe that in the end our minds only need our brains to live in this physical world. Supposing there was a way to upload to a computer, a better analogy would be something like "it's like having a computer with our entire lives recorded on it and than moving all the files from it into a new computer while destroying the old computer in the process, and than saying "these new files are not as great as the original"
In the end the medium that our thoughts and memories and experiences reside in does not matter, it's still us, it's who we are.
Even from a spiritual prospective (if you feel so inclined) the christian bible says that spirits can and have possessed people all the time, So we KNOW (if you believe from that prospective) that the mind can reside separate from the body.
I think that the subject is just too crazy for most humans to grasp without looking at it from a (pun intended) metaphysical prospective.
You know, I can't really blame those "We are Humans" guys because I totally understand what they're feeling.
She's freeeeakin' out maaaan! Maybe she should smoke weed, 420, yolo, swag.
1819660
You're very welcome. My own knowledge isn't the best, and I tend to doubt it a lot due to my own bad memory and my less than perfect English skills (Seriously, I wouldn't know what an adjective was if it weren't for Scribblenauts, and even when typing this I had to Google it just to make sure!).
Sometimes you don't have to add any tags to dialogue because it's obvious which character is speaking. When a multi-paragraph monologue appears with close quotations at the end of every paragraph, it means that each paragraph is coming from a different character.
I don't think I got a notification for this, that or I missed it, so sorry for the late reply.
Read parts 3-5 tonight and my gosh, had to stop myself from continuing on because this is getting so good!
Oh by the way, I didn't get a chance to tell you how cool that second writing was that you gave me back on my journal. i really enjoyed seeing how the focus shifted from the ponies over to Celestia and that they believed she was a slave. Didn't see that perspective coming. Definitely unique and really interesting. I enjoy that reading very much and I'm very grateful for the time you took in writing it out. Thank you, Chatoyance! *hugs*
Okay, now time to talk about your story!
It's ironic that I stopped reading in my previous session right after Celestia shuts off the Ponypad and tells Siofra to go to sleep. Creepy creepy... O_o Naw, I'm playing. It's fine.
Part 3
What really astounded me about this section was the amount of immersion I felt while reading it. I started looking up several things you mentioned, like Colossus: the Forbin Project(the movie of which I would like to see now) and Ethicist Bill McKibben. Every time you brought up a real-world reference, I found myself more and more astounded at the incredibly realistic world you built around this story.
I enjoyed the talk between Celestia and Siofra. The explanation of the plan did seem a little odd to me, till even that was addressed at the end. I can infer that Celestia must think Siofra presents no real threat to her, so revealing such info was a calculated risk to gain her trust.
And there were really endearing moments all throughout this, like when Siofra tries to walk on all fours like a pony. That's a very quirky moment and understandable because it shows her level of immersion and her attempts to maintain that in her daily life. Plus, it's more than a little foreshadowing.
Part 4
The introduction to this was very surprising to me. Not that I have never read angry internal thoughts from a character before, but that it revealed a lot about the stresses Siofra goes through on an almost-daily basis. I did enjoy how they presented vastly different versions of their gaming experience, which is a key part of this storyline. Really helps the reader see how Celestia caters to each person. That made the whole chapter even more interesting and I really felt for poor Siofra when she was hurt and self-chastising all because of what she learned about Celestia. The discussion about Celestia's different extensions of self was very well put-together too. And then ending where Siofra makes the decision to ask to be called "Lavender Rhapsody" is a perfect way to end the chapter. Shows how she's moving closer towards uploading.
Part 5
First of all, that "We Are Human" button was just plain cool:
jenniverse.com/images/wahbutton.png
You put so much work into your stories. It's absolutely fantastic! I don't know if you're a published author, but man, if you are, kudos to you, and if you're not, you should be. Please forgive any possible misuse of commas in that last sentence. :P
The introduction of the activist group is very interesting. I'm glad you put them in here to see how other humans think of the process of "emigration."
There are interesting character quirks popping up in this part too. Siofra is slowly becoming more drawn into the world of Equestria Online. The addition of Thunder Steed to her online routine is very interesting and does provide another voice to get her to emigrate. Also, the sudden inclusion of funds for Siofra is pretty shocking. It is a big jump in plausibility, considering how that would look if many others would immediately do the same thing. But since in this case the money itself is simply a form of data in a bank account, well, that makes sense.
View on Siofra so far as a character:
I really do enjoy seeing this whole story through Siofra's eyes. She is one of the most interesting characters I've seen in fiction in a while. That might be because I empathize with her so much. A lot of her personal exploration happens in her own head rather than in the outside world, which makes sense considering how much she becomes drawn into the world of Equestria Online. She's oftentimes sad and many times endearing. I enjoy her quirks which add to her believability in my opinion. I think writing about her frustrations is a great way for the reader to connect with her because many people have similar daily hassles. Siofra is also a very sweet individual and I can see how she can connect with Fluttershy, though there is a lot of hidden anger that pushes her into a more bitter category when dealing with others she does not like or even her own decisions. Siofra is definitely an intriguing individual and it will be interesting to see how she deals with uploading.
I'm currently writing my own FiO story. I have the chapter rough draft finished, but I'm brainstorming where to take the story.
Awesome work yet again, Chatoyance!
And just for a little comedy. From last year, but still awesome. (kinda crude in some spots, but totally how at least some people would respond to the PonyPad.)
I think of this guy looking at the PonyPad and talking to Celestia.
"Mannnnn, you can't buy me, cartoon pony!"
I took the PonyPad and threw it on the ground!
And that's how the world was saved.
You can't trust the system.
Shouldn't "Princess Celestia" be capitalized, since it's a title?