Collab Cage Mini-Monthly December -- Secret Santa Hooves

by The Collab Cage

Iron Will -- Gives To -- Apple Bloom

Written by: Merc the Jerk

“... An' this is...?” Applebloom trailed off, raising a brow at the gift she had just torn apart. She held up the garment for Iron Will.

“Well, Iron—I mean, Pony Santa--” He glanced over to Big Macintosh “--T-that's what you guys believe. Pony Santa, right?” he asked under his breath.

On hearing Macintosh's quick confirmation of “Eyup.” Iron Will continued.

“Any way, Ol' Hoof Kringle knew that you wanted something to help with your intense body and mind training, right?” the giant replied, nonplussed by Applebloom's less than stellar reaction.

They sat at the Apple family farm, Iron Will resting easily on the large living room couch, and Applebloom sitting on the floor near the Hearth's Warming Tree. The great Iron Will had decided to crash at the farmstead while his self-help tour was on hiatus. Apparently, some members of his goat squad had eaten lead based cans during their tour in Neighpan. The minotaur was lucky that he and Macintosh went a long ways back—being college roommates at the only mixed species institution in the country had its perks, after all. Now he was able to relax while his entourage got treated at the nearby hospital.

“Um... Mr. Iron Will...” Applebloom said once more, bringing the giant back to the current situation. “How did Santa Hooves expect me ta wear this?”

“It's easy kid!” he boasted, grabbing the garment. “You just put your hoof in here, and...” He suddenly paused. Five empty holes dangled lifelessly as Applebloom tried to pull the fingerless glove on tighter.

The minotaur looked at his own hand and applied it to his face with a sigh. “When shopping for a gift for a horse, buy anything but gloves, of course!”

“Y...ya know, I was kinda droppin' hints at wantin' a new hammer. I don't think I can do much with these... dangly things. Who honestly makes hoof-shoes like this?!”

“They're not hoof-shoes! They're feet-shoes. Hand-shoes—I mean feet-gloves! I mean—Dammit!”

“Swear,” she said politely.

“Eyup,” Macintosh agreed.

“Iron Will apologizes,” the minotaur in question said. “Man,” he said, rubbing at his face. “This is a lot harder to do than minotaurnukah. That's easy. Say hello to everybody, light some candles, bam!” he roared, slamming a fist into his palm. “Minotaurnukah. Eat, drink, then take a nap for eight days in a row. A lot better than this Pony Clause stuff.”

“Wow! What else do ya do!?” Applebloom asked, resting her head on her forelegs.

“Totally find some minotaur hunnys to ring in the new year with.”

“What's a 'minotaur hunny?'” Applebloom asked, tilting her head. “It somethin' ya eat?”

“Among other things!” Iron Will cheerfully said, rising and putting his hands at his hips. “Now, if you'll excuse me, Iron Will is going to have some more hard egg-nog!”

Applebloom watched the giant leave for the kitchen. She turned to face her brother. “Do you know about what he was talkin' about with the minotaur hunny's? Is there any way I could get one ta make up fer the gift Santa Hooves messed up on? Can I? Can I?!”

Macintosh put a hoof to his forehead and groaned under his breath. “Celestia bless us, each and every one.”

Comments

[Lapison]

BAHAHAHAHAHAH

That was hilarious. Well played, Merc!

[Therizzen]

Nice, Iron Will, just nice. Oh, you sure are great with those kids, aren't you?

Of course you are.

Anyway, that was a fun little read. Definitely not what I expected, at all, poor Big Mac

[TypewriterError]

ROFL!