- Member Since 15th Nov, 2011
- offline last seen Oct 5th, 2012
lRainbowDashl
I'm a film director and game developer attempting to write. I have lots of learning problems, so go easy on me. Some of my stories are edited by Shadow Blaze, some aren't.
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The feeling i get from the story is that Swift is a self-insertion. I also don't feel that you captured Rainbow's personality right.
Interesting story though.
,,, *cough cough*
Welllllll...
I like the idea of the story but it doesn't really make much sense to me. I mean, there in a team and they want to get into the Wonderbolts? (I assume thats it, I stopped reading after Rainbow Dash started to laugh at them.)
It's like FiMPonify said, you didn't get Rainbow's personallity correct.
Plus, I don't like it when authors put pictures in their stories. I like to imgaine what the characters look like. I guess that's just me though.
So all in all, I give this story a confused Trixie
128909 I fail to see how you can tell me the story is bad when you didn't even finish it, also when did i say they wanted to join the wonderbolts? they are completely the opposite they are competing with them.
128984 Sorry, I got confused
Excuse me if I offened you, but please know that critism is only meant to help you not discourage you. It may feel like someone is trying to hurt you at first, but then you realizie that they only want to help you. Anyway, I'm not saying your story is bad. In fact, I'm kinda enjoying it, didn't you see where I said I liked the idea
?
129055 Yeah looking back at the comment its not as bad as i portrayed it, but you did say you only read to the part where Rainbow started laughing which kind of annoys me because if your going to write a comment like that i atleast expected you to see it through so you can give legitimate criticism.
And i have seen two different Rainbow Dash's there is the one from the show which is arrogant, cocky, awesome and very self confident and then i read some fanfics where she is very motherly and caring whilst keeping that badass spirit up so i am kind of mixing the two NOT GOOD.
129067 Well, I can see how you are offended by that. And if you want me too, I will read the rest of this. But it will have to be at a later date, deal?
129126 Well although i posted it i recently contacted a great writor who is helping me so the story will improve at a later date
so deal.
*sits and waits for further storizing* Interesting. Very. You receive one spike-stache.
You recieve two-and-a-half spike-staches.
(there's no half, so i'll round it up.)
Hay just wondering which one is swift in the pics at the top?