• Published 9th Dec 2012
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Hot Heads, Cold Hearts and Nerves of Steel - Trinary



AU Dashverse: The Crystal Empire has returned and the foals of Equestria have gone missing!

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Chapter 7

& & &

The next morning Rainbow Dash awoke feeling refreshed and energized. The only downside to that was that there was still no place to go. Sharing the restroom and shower compartment with six other mares was a new and not entirely pleasant experience—for anypony.

“Hey, don’t use up all the hot water!” Applejack pounded on the door to one of the shower stalls. “Someponies still haven’t gotten their turn yet!”

“Can somepony please pass me a towel…if you’re not too busy, I mean.” Fluttershy squeaked as she poked her head out of another shower.

“Hmnggh!” Cadence nodded, her mouth foamed over with toothpaste floated over a towel with her magic.

“Who's toothbrush is this?” Rarity demanded. “It’s in my space.”

Twilight looked over at her former foalsitter. “Wow, your tail looks fantastic, Cadence. Mine is usually a nest in the morning.

Rainbow glanced at her own tail, ensuring that it met her usual standards of awesomeness. Not that she was trying to get any stallion's attention or anything.

“Pinkie!” Applejack knocked on the door again. “Y'r worse than Big Mac! If Ah gotta freeze my flanks off, Ah'm gonna buck ya like a tree come autumn!”

Of course it was poor Shining Armor who suffered the most—having to wait until everypony else was finished before he could avail himself of the facilities, lest an ‘awkward impropriety’ occurred, as Rarity put it.

“C’mon Rarity!” groaned the stressed stallion as he knocked anxiously on the door to the bathroom car, dancing on his hooves. “You’ve been in there for half an hour already!”

“Just a minuuuuute! I need to put my face on!” came the dulcet tones of the fastidious unicorn, the last pony in the bathroom.

A look of desperation passed across his face as he wished he had the forethought to go in and tend to his needs before the horde of mares had taken over the bathroom. To make it worse, his fillyfriend and the filly who used to (or so he thought) have a crush on him were flanking him on either side.

“It’s okay, Shiny.” Rainbow patted his shoulder sympathetically. “I’m sure she she’ll just be another ten minutes. Twenty tops.”

Cadence nodded sagely. “That seems about right.”

Shining groaned. “Why is it that whenever a mare says she’ll be a minute, that’s code for half an hour?” This was not the most diplomatic thing to say in a car full of mares, but his transgression can be forgiven, considering his desperation.

Well, mostly. “Shining Armor,” Cadence put a hoof on his shoulder. “You need to relax, not let these little things get to you.” She winked at Dash behind Shining’s back.

“Yeah!” She grinned. “You need to think of calm stuff. Close your eyes and think of soft clouds, gently rolling hills, sunny days...” Rainbow waited for him to close his eyes and sigh relaxingly before pouncing. “Gently running streams running into raging rivers, forming majestic waterfalls, rushing tons of water down every second of every day.” Sweat started beading on Shining Armor’s brow. “Rain clouds swelled fat with water just aching to be released...”

Shining’s eyes snapped open as he pounded on the door. “A-TEN-TION CADET! COME TO AT THE READY AND PRESENT ARMS!” Barely cognizant, Rarity rushed out of the door and hastily saluted Shining. Wasting only a half-second to return it, Shining barked out, “Coming through!” and proceeded to zoom into the bathroom and slam the door shut behind him.

Rarity stood there in a daze, her hair still in curlers. “W-what just happened?” She blinked. Cadence and Rainbow Dash cracked up.

“T-that was hilarious!” Rainbow held her stomach.

Cadence put her hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “He really is too easy to mess with.”

“Yeah…” The blue pony’s smile suddenly became a bit forced as she remembered who she was talking to. “…he’s really great.”

Smiling, Cadence looked down at her. “He is…I can't tell you how happy he makes me.” She nuzzled her suddenly. “In fact, I think I have you to thank for that.”

“R-really?” Rainbow’s voice broke into a squeak. “What do you mean?”

Standing back against the wall, Cadence settled in. “Well, I knew Shining Armor through his sister, but it wasn’t until later that we really started to get to know each other. In fact, I think the first time we really sat down and talked was when he was assigned as a palace guard. I was foalsitting for you and you insisted on playing hide and seek before bed.” She chuckled. “You always were a hooffull…I think I literally ran into him while I was chasing after you. I remember wondering why his uniform was bright pink.” Cadence gave Rainbow a bemused smile. “After I wrangled you into bed, we started talking and became friends. From there things just…bloomed.”

Rainbow forced herself to smile, even as she felt her stomach drop down into her hooves. “Heh, isn’t that…funny.”

Concerned, Cadence tilted her head. “Dashie, is something bothering you?”

“Heh, who me? Nope, not a thing.” She faked a yawn. “Oh wow, I’m still tired. I’m gonna go see what’s up for breakfast. Nice talking to you, see ya!” The prismatic pegasus zipped off without giving Cadence a chance to respond.

The sound of a shower turning on was heard shortly thereafter, which only served to fire the imaginations of every mare present (save Twilight) at the thought of the hunky captain of the royal guard showering his handsome physique.

“Hehehehehee!” Pinkie giggled as she tried to creep towards the door to the bathroom while Twilight was busy reading a book.

“Pinkieeeee!” Twilight warned without even turning away, her horn lighting up as she lifted Pinkie up. “Away from the door.”

“Aww, but I bet he was peeking. And it’s in my name to peek.” Pinkie pouted as she was floated over.

“How'd ya figure that?” Applejack wondered as she tried flicking cards into her hat. It was harder than it looked.

“Pink. Peek...It’s close enough.” Rationalized the pink pony, shrugging.

Rarity took a break from curling her eyelashes to look over. “Really, Darling. Show some respect. You don't see Fluttershy or Rainbow being so ill mannered.”

“Awww but they can fly. They can go outside and peek through the windows.”

“Eek!” Fluttershy squeaked as she proceeded to hide her her face behind her mane. “I'd never, never, never, even...eek...”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Yeah right, Pinkie...” she then grumbled quietly as she realized that she’d have to rethink her strategy. She also wished she’d announced her intent to go outside for a flight a moment earlier.

Rarity and Applejack exchanged a significant look. “Oh, the poor dear is taking this all so hard.” The white unicorn exclaimed softly. “Did you see her talking with the Princess earlier? She looked so uncomfortable—we have to get her to open up to her!”

Applejack nodded, but looked doubtful. “How do you reckon on doing that? We can’t tell Cadence for RD, that’ll just make things worse.”

Reluctantly, Rarity nodded. “True…but trust me, I’ll think of something.”

“That’s what Ah’m afraid of…”

& & &

Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes in deep thought. “I spy with my Pinkie eye…”

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth. This was the fifth game of Eye Spy. The fifth game.

The day had dragged on ever since lunch. Shining Armor had prepped them about everything known about Sombra and the Crystal Empire (which wasn’t much) and some various guard survival tips and plans in case they got separated (which was too much).

After a while though, even Shining Armor was forced to admit that too much preparation and planning could stifle initiative and that it was impossible to plan for every possible scenario. The scandalized look on Twilight’s face was worth the tedium and boredom Rainbow had suffered through for the previous hour and a half.

Dinner had been an all too short respite, before long the boredom had come back twice as strong. Rainbow briefly regretting napping and lounging around while Dinky and the others were in trouble, but there literally was nothing else that they could do until they arrived north.

The lethargy broke over the others too, Twilight idly wishing she had brought more books with her. Rarity occupied herself by trying to color-coordinate everypony’s belongings…which also involved going through Shining Armor’s belongings and fiddling with his uniform. No matter how many times he told her not to.

“But Captain, surely your armor could use a little more panache…” Rarity implored once again, her knitting needles and work glasses at the ready as she prepared for fabulousness.

“No.” Shining grunted for the eleventh time. “Hooves off.”

Rarity turned up her nose and let out a fine little whine. “But I need to create! You wouldn’t deny a lady her only outlet for creativity and inspiration!”

Shining Armor groaned and looked over to Cadence pleadingly for help. She pretended not to notice him and instead set about trying to pick something out of her teeth. “Miss Rarity,” he decided to be as formal and polite as he could be. “I—”

“Pleeease? Please, please, please, pleeeheeeease!” Rarity pouted, her eyes wide and shimmering.

The stallion groaned. “All right, all right! Just—stop doing that!”

Rarity’s face lit up as she let out a delighted little squeal, grabbing his uniform and secluding herself onto her bed so she could work undisturbed. “Pushover.” Cadence teased, finally deigning to notice what was going on.

Applejack snorted playfully. “S’ that all it takes ya t’give in? She didn’t even have t’break out the heavy artill’ry.”

Rainbow would’ve joined in on the teasing but something bright and pink got in the way. “Come on Rainbow Dash, guess what I spy with my Pinkie eye!”

The cyan pegasus brought her hooves up to her face and groaned, sprawling backwards on her bed. “Gyah! I can’t take it! I’m so booored!”

Pinkie Pie let out a whine, her ears lowering and her lips pouting. “Bored? But Dashie, we’re all together! We’ll get to stay up late, play games and wear our jammies! It’s like a giant slumber party!”

“I’ve never been to one of those.” Twilight commented, flicking an ear as she looked through her book. “I read they’re fun.” That revelation made the party pony let out an extreme gasp of shock that made the windows rattle and drew the attention of every pony to Pinkie as she waved her hooves around. “…was it something I said?” Twilight asked worriedly.

“We are gonna need a lot of pillows, and s'mores, and sarsaparilla! STAT!” Pinkie exclaimed as she leaped onto her bed and started going through her saddle bags. “Twilight’s never had a slumber party! That’s terrible! But we can have a slumber party right now and that’s good! But I don’t have Gummy with me and he loves slumber parties and that’s bad! But we’re all here and we can make this the bestest, most superific slumber party ever and that’s good! But the frogurt is also cursed and that’s…I lost track, are we up to good or bad?”

“Uhhhh….Pinkie?” Rainbow tapped her on the shoulder. “You okay?” She let out a surprised yell as the pink pony grabbed her and shook her vigorously. “We gotta get everything set up! Quick, get out your pajamas!”

“Pinkie Pie? I dunno if it’s right fer us t’be laughing and goofin’ around…considerin’ the circumstances.” Applejack added awkwardly, feeling a bit bad for raining on Pinkie’s enthusiasm.

“But that’s WHY we need to laugh and smile!” Pinkie pointed out with a slight pout. “Because everything’s sad and scary and it’s only get even more sadder and scarier! Look at that face!” She grabbed Twilight, smushing her face between her pink hooves. “Can’t you see how deprived she is? Imagine, never having a slumber party in your whole entire life! She really, really, REALLY wants one, don’t you Twilight?”

Twilight looked from Pinkie to Applejack awkwardly, not really sure how to react. “Uh…well…” She admitted. “It does sound fun…”

“SEE?!” Pinkie beamed to Applejack, letting Twilight drop the floor in a heap.

Cadence walked over, putting a hoof on Applejack’s withers. “I think having a slumber party would be a wonderful idea. We need to be rested and in a good state of mind when we finally do arrive.”

“Well…” Applejack fidgeted. She hated the idea of relaxing and having a good time while Apple Bloom was Celestia-knows-where…but they were right: spending the whole trip fretting wouldn't do any good. And once Pinkie got an idea in her head it was hard to talk her out of it. “Ah suppose y’all got a point....”

“Yippee!” Pinkie bounced around like a little filly. “Slumber party!”

“So, what do we do first?” Twilight asked, looking around. “Do we make a checklist of all the things we want to do? Let me just get my quill…should we organize the list alphabetically or—” A sudden flying pillow cut off her preparations. “HEY!” The started unicorn sputtered, whipping her head around as she looked for the culprit. “Who threw that?”

Cadence coughed delicately and tilted her head slightly in Shining Armor’s direction. He blinked. “What?” was all the startled stallion managed to get out before a trio of pillows encased with a purple magical aura collided abruptly with his face. “But—” PFF! “Twiley! I didn’t—” SMACK! “It wasn’t--!” PFF! “It was CADENCE!”

“Shining Armor, you’re supposed to be my bodyguard.” The princess giggled as she hid behind him, away from any oncoming pillows. “Protect me!”

“Ooooh she’s sneaky!” Pinkie smiled.

Cadence popped her head out from behind Shining Armor to beam at Pinkie. This proved costly as she was met with a pillow to the face. Unlike her, this time the attacker gave herself away by laughing her flank off. “Rainbow Dash!” The pink princess shoved her mane out her eyes. “You’re going to get it now!” She warned as she clutched a pillow in her teeth and charged at the pegasus. And then the battle was fully joined.

“Twilight!” Shining Armor ducked his head. “We need to form a strong point so we can counterattack!”

His little sister quickly joined his side. “But I don’t have enough books to make a proper book fort! We’ll have to use pillows instead.”

“Negative, that’s our ammunition! We’ll need to think of something else.” Shining Armor looked around before upending a mattress from a bed. As the unicorn siblings took cover behind it, the battle raged on.

Rainbow Dash and Cadence abandoned any semblance of tactics in lieu of simply batting each other with pillows as hard as they could. Applejack had bucked a pillow right into Rarity’s side, making the fussy unicorn squawk as her mane became disheveled. The orange earth pony did not expect Rarity to pick up a pillow of her own and charge her with a loud war cry. Pinkie Pie bounced through the battlefield, tossing pillows at random ponies: an agent of chaos. Fluttershy, mostly hidden beneath her blankets, still made a valiant effort. She even…nudged one of her pillows off her bed and onto Pinkie’s back!

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay, Pinkie?” She asked anxiously, looking down. “I hope I didn't hit you too hard with that pillow! Speak to me--SPEAK TO ME!"

Rainbow wasn’t so much a pony as she was a blue streak, dispensing pillows to heads and shoulders as she zoomed around the compartment. Nopony was safe from her relentless attacks. Worse, her speed made it hard for her to be hit. When a pillow did get her, it was usually the result of her flying INTO one already in midair, rather than somepony getting lucky and managing to nail her directly. Fortunately, there wasn’t enough space for her to stay in the air all the time, so she did spend enough time on the floor to slog it out with the others.

She was in the midst of applying a pillow to Shining’s flank when Applejack reared up behind her with a fierce yell. “Yeeehaw!” She battered Dash away. The pegasus just shrugged it off the before retaliating with one of her own that knocked the farmpony’s hat off. She was about to go in for the kill when she heard a pony in distress.

“Ack! Help!” Shining Armor sputtered in laughter as his fillyfriend battered him mercilessly. Twilight, her loyalties divided between her BBBFF and her favorite foalsitter, did the honorable thing and began clobbering Pinkie Pie instead of choosing a side.

Rainbow Dash took to the air. “I’ll save you, Shiny-hiney!” Grabbing a pair of pillows beneath her, she dove down on the pink princess. “Bombs away!” She released her payload, bombarding Cadence with pillows. The tall unicorn shrieked and dove for cover.

“Thanks Dash!” Shining Armor laughed, tossing her a salute. “I owe you one!”

The grin on Rainbow’s face was so wide it threatened to split her face in two. She clasped her hooves together in the air as if accepting accolades. That gave Cadence the time to counter-attack.

Cadence’s horn lit up with magic as the pair of pillows Rainbow had used floated up and sped around behind Dash. With a smirk and a toss of her head, Cadence sent them both at her target’s rump, impacting at high speed. “Yie!” Dash yelped. “Cadence, no fair!”

“All’s fair in love and pillow wars, Dashie!” The older pony chuckled as those same two pillows continued swatting Rainbow’s backside. The pegasus darted and maneuvered this way and that, but the confines of a train car did not provide much in the way of airspace. The pillows continued to find her rear end. “Gah! Call’em off! Call’em oooooff!”

Applejack grinned. “Princess!” She lightly tossed a pillow her way. It was soon caught up in her magic and proceeded to firmly batter Rainbow’s behind. Dash paused, tucking her hindlegs beneath her before lashing out and bucking the pillows away. One impacted Cadence in the face, the other lodged itself on Shining Armor’s horn.

“Ha!” Rainbow stuck out her tongue. Cadence lifted her head up, narrowing her eyes. Just then another pillow smacked her hiney. “HEY!”

Pinkie giggled as she fell on her back. “Pillow attack on Rainbow’s tushie!” Cadence had the same idea as every pillow in the car rose into the air and surrounded Rainbow Dash in a hurricane of pillows. They spun and whirled, blocking off any avenue of escape. And then…they stopped, all pointing directly at the pegasus in the center.

“…I’m screwed.” She gulped an instant before every pillow hit her at once. When the carnage was over and the last stray feathers had floated down, there was a massive pile of pillows in the middle of the car. There was no sign of the cyan blue pegasus save for her rainbow-colored tail, limply hanging out near the top like a flag of surrender.

Dash’s head poked out a moment later, her eyes spinning like Ditzy’s. Everypony laughed. Even her.

“What’s next?” Twilight asked, looking around with undisguised glee. She was obviously enjoying herself.

“Now we have to get into our pajamas and sit in a circle!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Doesn’t that sound like fun? Anything with the word pajama in it sounds fun! Pajama, pajama, pajama! Pajama barrel, pajama pickles, pajama games! Oooh pajama games sounds like fun! Does anypony have 7 ½ cents?”

“Pinkie, we didn’t bring pajamas.” Rainbow pointed out. Fluttershy nodded.

“I-I don’t really sleep in pajamas either…eep!” She squeaked as she realized that she had just admitted to sleeping in the nude—despite the fact that they walked around all day without clothes.

But Pinkie didn’t seem down at all. “Not to worry! I came prepared! And I bet between me and Rarity, that everypony will having totally awesome pajamas before you can say pajamas a hundred times!” She immediately started digging through her saddle bags, tossing out balloons, party hats, a rubber duck, an autographed picture of Sapphire Shores, DJ-P0N3’s latest record, some gator treats, a full prepared and frosted cake, a couple of whoopee cushions…Pinkie buried herself so deeply in her bag that only her hindlegs and her wagging pink tail could be seen. “A ha!” She proclaimed as she pulled something out. “Knew it was in there somewhere!”

“…she serious ‘bout this pajama stuff?” Applejack looked around questioningly.

“Inasmuch as Pinkie is ever serious, I think.” Rarity replied guardedly.

Pinkie turned around a moment later. “Ta da!” She grinned, resplendent in her pajamas. “Aren’t these the greatest?” She was wearing a bright pink fuzzy hoofsie covered in yellow and blue balloons that left only her head and her tail visible.

“They’re...very nice, Pinkie.” Twilight nodded.

“Twily used to have a hoofsie like that.” Shining reminisced, his eyes glazing over. “She’d use to sneak down the stairs in them every Hearth’s Warming morning to see what presents she’d gotten...”

“Armoooorrr...” Twilight moaned, blushing adorably as she buried her face in his shoulder. “Jerk.”

“Love you too, Twily.” He rubbed her mane.

Rarity pondered as she looked from Pinkie in her jammies to the other, pajama-less ponies. “I-dee-aaa!” Rarity sang out as she went to work. Her magic grabbed every stray piece of fabric within reach: from her saddlebags, from the mountains of miscellany Pinkie had brought with her...even from the curtains and drapes of the train itself. Within moments she had fashioned a pair of pajamas for everypony.

“...Yer kiddin’ right?” Applejack blinked as she beheld the flannel pajama shirt in front of her.

“Go on!” Rarity prodded her with her horn.

The orange pony yelped and tugged the shirt on over her head and front legs. “Hm...these duds ain’t half bad!” She turned around to look at herself. “Thanks, Rarity!”

“I like mine!” Twilight grinned, swirling her robe around. “I look just like Starswirl the Bearded!” She giggled. “This is great!”

Shining Armor looked incredulous. “...Why do I have these?” He used his magic to hold up a plain white shirt and a pair of boxer shorts studded with red-hearts.

Rarity looked from side to side. “No reason.” She grinned, entirely too widely.

Fluttershy looked at the thin pink nighty she slipped on. “This is very....nice.” She blushed.

“Is this silk?” Cadence ran a hoof down her own pink and cream pajamas, resplendent with lacy frills. “They’re gorgeous!”

Rainbow grumbled. “How come they all get the cool stuff and I get stuck with this?” She pointed at a blue one-piece hoofsie, identical to Pinkie’s except it was covered in rainbows, clouds, and lightning bolts. “I’m not wearing this! This is what little fillies wear!”

“Oh come on Rainbow Dash!” Shining nudged her. “I'm sure your friend worked very hard on those. Besides," he smiled. "I think you’d look cute in those.”

“R-really?" Her face lit up, but she quickly fought it back to a neutral, cool look. "Well...eh, if it makes you--er, Rarity happy," she with forced confidence. “Whatever, no point in complaining or anything, right?” she grunted as she struggled into fuzzy, somewhat foalish-looking pajamas.

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "Perhaps, we might play a game?" Rarity suggested innocently, looking towards Rainbow Dash. Too innocently.

“All right then, now for the good stuff.” Rainbow rubbed her hooves together as everypony sat around in a circle on the floor, using their pillows to get comfortable. “Truth or Dare!”

“Ah don’t—” Applejack started to object but Rarity overrode her.

“What a delightful idea!” She smiled, elbowing Applejack into silence. “This sounds like fun!”

The practical earth pony was rightfully confused. Since when did Rarity, prissy, fussbudget Rarity, want to take part in a game of embarrassing dares and awkward truths—she facehooved. Of all the ways to get Rainbow Dash to talk to Cadence…she shot the scheming unicorn a glare which Rarity dutifully ignored.

Wonderful.

& & &