The first thing that caught Luna's attention was the rot.
When she'd last seen it, the great domed room had been a brilliant white, and seemed to be filled with light from nowhere. No sun or moon, stars or physical illumination. The room was just filled with light which came from nothing.
But this time, the same could not be said. The massive curving walls were an ugly and faded yellow color. The light in the room had gone from a brilliant shine to a dim glow. They were covered in the pulsing black plague she'd seen outside, and seemed to further drain the room of its light.
Cracks filled the wide ceiling floor, serving as gateways to even more of the black substance that looked to have formed itself into putrid tentacles. As Luna began to tentatively move across the once-polished stone, the tentacles that surrounded her began to move as well, as if they could sense her presence. One of them brushed against her leg as she moved forward. As soon as it came into contact with her hoof, the halos burning around her horn flashed brightly, and the vile thing burst into flames.
In an instant it seemed to lunge away from her, the flames dying down as soon as it was no longer in contact with the Princess. It seemed like it even rolled further away from her than was necessary, ever so slightly. Apparently, Dementis knew better than to toy with her enchantments. Luna just hoped she wouldn't have to see how powerful the demon was inside of Twilight's mind.
“I see you have learned from your past. That is good. At least you won't fall for her tricks again.” A voice called out to Luna. The alicorn turned to find what had called out to her. She could only see piles of muck, and the hideous tentacles surrounding her.
“Over here, Princess.” The voice called out again.
“Benevolentia...” Luna whispered to herself. From nowhere came a gentle giggle.
“I'm glad to see that you still remember me. I was hoping you hadn't forgotten.” She replied, but Luna could still not find the source of her voice. The alicorn turned in circles, trying to find where Benevolentia could be.
“I'm right here Princess.” The sweet voice called out, this time from behind Luna. The Princess whirled around to find a pony who had appeared seemingly out of thin air. The mare's entire body was radiant. Her mane, tail, coat, and irises were a beautiful shade of gold. Her whole body shimmered and shone, providing a brilliant light to the grim, dark room that Luna wandered.
Benevolentia sat down on a patch of solid white flooring, as if the infection hadn't reached her spot yet. Or maybe she was just keeping it away. Though mildly interesting, Luna's curiosity was taken away once she saw who was with Benevolentia.
Twilight Sparkle herself lay with her head on Benevolentias lap. Her hooves were wrapped around Benevolentia's waist and her face was buried in the golden mare's legs. It reminded Luna of a trip she had taken with Twilight and her family to a small hillside. The filly had practically passed out from running around and playing with her brother. She thought it a happy sight to see, a pleasant remembrance in a tortured mind, but as Luna got closer she realized it was far from a happy memory.
Twilight's expression was contorted and clearly showing pain. She was semi-curled into a tight ball, as if her mid-section ached. Her body shook with labored breaths as she subtly rocked back and forth. As she moved, a small whimper escaped from her lips. Benevolentia slowly stroked her mane, shushing and cooing the mare back to sleep.
“Benevolentia.” Luna nodded to the shimmering mare, still not taking her eyes off of Twilight. The other mare smiled in return, a warm, motherly action that should have filled Luna with happiness and joy. But she could not ignore the sadness and filth that surrounded her. The mare seemed to sense Luna's discomfort, and showed off her smile even more.
It was rather interesting to see. Both Dawn and Dementis came from Twilight's mind, and yet they were polar opposites. Dawn's smile was full of warmth and joy and happiness, while Dementis spread hate and pain and suffering. How could these two fruits have possibly come from the same tree?
“Dawn, Princess.” She corrected with a small bow of her head. “This is hardly the time for you to waste breath on formalities. Especially on the likes of me.”
It seemed to Luna that Dawn knew all too well where she came from.
“Besides,” The beautiful mare continued, as if she was speaking to nopony in particular. “I prefer Dawn. Benevolentia sounds so... royal. High class. Why bother separating myself from others? We're all ponies, no matter what.”
She laughed outwardly, a sweet ringing sound that drifted into Luna's ears. “Funnily enough, I'm not even a pony myself. Just a piece of one, still trying to save the rest of me.” She looked down at Twilight, stroking the unicorn's mane softly. “It's all I can do, really.” She whispered, her smile still shining.
Luna felt a pang of guilt in her chest. Somehow, she felt that this was all her fault. She looked around at the filth that surrounded her. She and Celestia were supposed to have helped this mare, and instead they had done this. Twilight had been brought to her knees, and now an even more powerful force had taken her. If the great Alicorn Sisters couldn't even help one filly, how could they be expected to to rule?
“I warn you, Princess.” Dawn said softly, shaking Luna out of her grim thoughts. The golden mare nodded towards Luna's glowing wards which encircled her horn. “Your magic keeps Dementis from directly entering you, but the influence of this realm is still ready to have its way with you.”
Luna nodded. To lose focus would be dangerous, especially inside of Twilight's mind. She was already risking much by entering this place. She couldn't stay long, for fear that she might succumb to the twisted thing that dwelled here.
“Dawn, why must you spoil all the fun?” Another voice called from behind Luna. The alicorn turned to see... Twilight, standing behind her.
Well, not quite the same mare, it seemed. She bore a similar resemblance to Twilight, however there were several differences, one of which was the unicorn's normally short-cut mane was long and curled. She was also taller, and had a much more feminine look to her. Most noticeably, instead of possessing Twilight's heavy, steely gaze, hers was enticing. Seductive. Inviting. Luna knew this mare.
“What are you doing here, Dementis? You are not welcome here.” Dawn glowered.
“Ooh, snappy.” The mare giggled. She only showed half of her face to Luna and Dawn. The other half was obscured by her long, wispy mane. “Besides, I am still Vindicta. You act like I'm not even here, Dawn. So much for representing Kindness. I think I only hear spite and jealousy.” She teased the other mare, eyeing Luna dangerously.
Dawn scoffed. “Jealousy? I have no intent on becoming Her slave. I see, however, that you have already fallen to her ways.” Her words grew increasingly fierce, as she looked down at Twilight. “Leave us, Vindicta. We have no need for your poisonous words. Luna is a guest here, and she will NOT be disturbed.” The golden mare finished with an angry snap..
Unfortunately, her tone grew too loud, and caused Twilight to stir in her lap. The young mare let out a small moan and squirmed, her pained expression growing more desperate. Dawn leaned forward, stroking Twilight's mane and humming softly to her.
Vindicta laughed, a cruel, evil laugh. “That's right, Benevolentia.” She teased. “Go back to babysitting. We will take care of little miss Princess here.” She parted her mane, revealing one solid black eye. “It shouldn't be too difficult. Even with those pesky wards.”
“I agree,” another voice joined the fray. Suddenly, Luna felt as if the room was beginning to grow crowded. “Her situation does not excuse her crimes, now does it?” The alicorn didn't even have to turn towards Judicium to know how she was perceived by the newcomer.
“I also agree!” A loud voice yelled. Luna knew the both of them. “The Princess hasn't exactly been all goody-goody this whole time, now has she?” Saevio shouted, her fiery mane whipping at the air in Luna's peripheral vision.
Luna turned to find the others waiting behind her. Similar to Vindicta, each of them had one eye that was solid black, but the differences didn't stop there. Saevio's white coat was stained with black stripes that ran up her side and back. The glower that Luna had expected her to be wearing was replaced by an evil grin, and her body was low and stiff, as if she was preparing to jump at Luna.
Judicium, however, seemed to be almost the opposite. Her body language showed no aggression, but she wore a deep frown with her solid black eye. Luna could feel malicious intent radiating off of the mare, as if she was the most dangerous pony in the room.
“Why are you here, halflings?” Luna shouted, putting as much emphasis into the name as she could. Though it was not aimed at her, Dawn winced at the remark, unbeknownst to Luna. “I thought my sister and niece were supposed to be keeping you out of this place.”
“Ah, quite the contrary.” A final voice hissed. Luna turned swiftly, trying to find the pony from whom the voice originated. A deep chill crawled up her spine. It appeared that the ringleader had finally decided to join the circus she had made.
“You see,” the voice hissed again, “their magic only keeps us from penetrating your own defenses.” The black tentacles surrounding the great domed room began to rise up into the air. They floated closer and closer to the direct center of the room, some of them joining into one another. “While you may be protected for now, this is still our realm. We have free passage over this place. No amount of filthy alicorn magic can rid us of that.”
The vines coalesced in mid-air, fusing together into a pool of black ink. The pool began to take shape and form, creating legs and a body. The disembodied voice continued to speak. “But we are patient creatures, Princess.” It called in a mocking tone. “You are only allowed to leave when we say so. Until then, you belong to us. We will simply wait until your wards fall, and we will take your magic for our own.”
The blackness finally took full form. Floating above Luna was a solid black pony, devoid of any features or color. The alicorn took a step back, preparing for the worst from Dementis.
Suddenly, a loud cracking came from the dark body. With a sound like that of glass shattering, a spiderweb of cracks raced along the blackness. Her body began to move frantically, her legs and neck flailing out like a wounded beast.
Suddenly, the body fell silent. All eyes gazed upon the broken shell that hung above them, waiting with bated breath to see what would emerge.
'I don't believe it will be a pretty butterfly.' Luna thought to herself.
As if on cue, a blistering scream emerged from the body. The black skin shattered completely and flew from it, revealing Dementis in all of her corrupted glory.
She leered down at Luna, her trademark grin finding its place on her face. “So tell me, little princess, what do you have to say for yourself?” She laughed at Luna, spittle flying from her mouth. As the alicorn laid eyes on the reveling Dementis, she felt a mighty rage take hold of her. Her horn glowed brightly, the wards growing bright as well.
But before she could respond, a blast of golden light exploded in the air between her and Dementis. Luna averted her eyes from the blinding light, trying to blink back tears from the sudden blast.
When the light finally faded, Dementis and her minions were gone. The air where they had stood was full of tiny black particles, each no larger than a grain of sand.
“Honestly, I thought she would never stop talking.” Came Dawn's voice from beside Luna. The Princess turned to see the golden mare standing beside her, a smug smile slowly taking the place of a determined expression. “She always had a flare for the dramatic, but that was just ridiculous.”
She turned to face Luna, her small smirk still showing. “I could have sent them away earlier, but Dementis would have just regenerated sooner. I apologize for the wait. It was rather painful to listen to, wasn't it?” Dawn said, her tone sincere.
Luna stood surprised, still staring at the spot where Dementis had been only a moment ago. “That seemed rather easy, don't you think?” She spoke out of the side of her mouth, not quite believing that Dementis had been defeated so easily.
Dawn chuckled lightly. “Like I said, Princess, she always had a flair for drama. She tends to get a little carried away. But then again, we all seem to to have our own weaknesses.” Dawn turned back to Twilight, who still lay curled up on the floor. With a flash of her horn and a wave of her hoof, she produced a small blanket out of thin air and spread it over Twilight's body, before planting a small kiss on the mare's forehead.
Turning back to Luna, Dawn's smirk disappeared. “I am afraid it will not take long for them to return, however. I would wager we only have a few minutes.” She smiled softly at the ground. “It's a shame. We wouldn't have enough time for tea.”
Luna averted her gaze from Dawn, choosing to stare down at the ground as well. She wanted to laugh at the mare's joke, but it just felt far too inappropriate. All humor escaped Luna's grasp, though she appreciated the mare's effort.
“If that is true, then it would seem my time to depart is rapidly approaching.” Luna said to her. She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. “I came here, still trying to help Twilight. I don't want her to die. Neither do my sister, niece, or her brother, but if we have no choice, then will do what we must. For her sake, and for the sake of those around her.”
She looked to Dawn, determination in her voice. “If there is anything I can do, anything you think could save her, I will try it. Anything before...” Luna choked. She didn't want to say what she thought. It was simply too horrible of an idea.
Dawn slowly approached the Princess, resting her front legs on Luna's shoulders. “Do you really and truly want to help Twilight, Princess?” She met Luna's eyes, her gaze now ferocious. Luna's response was obvious.
“Of course I do. I would do almost anything to save her, to give her another chance at life. A REAL life. If anything, I owe her that much.”
Dawn looked the Princess up and down, as if she was evaluating the Princess.
“Then Princess,” she said, her eyes alive, “you must make me a promise.”
Hooray! Update! Can't wait for the next chapter.
Dum dum dummmm
Cliffhanger??
Are you serious?! How can you sleep at nights knowing that you keep hundreds of hungry readers desesperates for your tasty stories??
Anyways... if you didn't get the compliment, i'm going to tell you to keep going... your story is very VERY good....
I can't wait to read more...
if cliffhangers where a food it would feed me for a year just this story alone, as for the chapter great filler, as for the next chapter (demo-man from TF2 would say) GET GOING!!!!
Omg a update derpicdn.net/img/2014/4/5/592823/large.gif
Dont trust her! Never make a deal!
Hopefully all this is part of Twilights "Just as Planned" moment. I doubt a mare as careful as her would go to a hostage trade without realising that Luna would probably just clean her clock instead of dealing, then take her captive and delve into her mind. Still, eagerly awaiting more.
"I promise to dance like a chicken!"
"What? No stop, why are you- stop that!"
"Very well. I didn't see how this would help Twilight anyway."
"Not that promise! Not just any promise!"
"Oh! Well! You didn't specify!"
images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9000000/X-Files-Je-Souhaite-7X21-the-x-files-9029376-948-528.jpg
Well I just got back from vacation and it's 1 A.M. here. Great chapter, and I hope that there are less conflicts in the future or the cheese gets it.
... Yeah... Somehow. Maybe, like, when you decided to beat her into a bloody unconsciousness. I can't help but feel that beating a mentally unstable pony who has to use all of their willpower just to stay sane wasn't the best course of action... Ya idjit.
What the heck is a "ceiling floor"?
Is Dawn a third Twilight or another name for Benevolentia?
What is being corrected here? If it is the name, it was corrected the paragraph before.
Name switch again, it is confusing and jars the reader. Why say Dementis and then Vindicta?
Not near as many errors this time. I was speaking with Mugsy (the dirty little Luna killer) last night, he says you sometimes ignore his edits. Is this true?
4594040
I tried to clear up some of the naming. What I intended was that, Dawn/Benevolentia corrects Luna, saying that she prefers the name "Dawn" over Benevolentia." I thought I explained so that it would not be confusing, but apparently it still was. She isn't one mare split into two, she just has two names. A formal name, and a normal name (Not the best explanation I guess.) Also, Dawn (or Benevolentia, whichever you prefer) calls Vindicta "Dementis" because she has been corrupted by the creature. In her essence, she is still Vindicta, but because she has been "assimilated" Dawn considers her just another Dementis.
I hope that clears up that issue, but there is another. He said I ignore some of his edits? I do not mean to do so, and I don't have any memory of ignoring any of his corrections or edits. I don't just think of him as a free worker and I do appreciate his time and effort, but do you know if he mentioned any other error that I missed or forgot? If not I can ask him myself, but I want to clear up any issues before they get out of hand.
I don't want to be the guys who ignores any help or insight people give him. Especially if they are willing to give up their free time to help me for almost nothing in return.
4594219
We had a chat last night about your "foreword" vs "forward" mix up. It was actually quite entertaining, though maybe he is trying to get me off his back about missing mistakes. Myself and another read had all those mistakes in the last chapter, I think Mugsy said he noticed many of them. Maybe there is a disconnect since you are using LibraOffice.
Though Mugsy continually speaks of killing Luna. I think he can go die in a fire.
4594321
The F******* Forword/Foreword crap kills me all the time. Not from him, but I look at my documents and spell it both ways. It ticks me off sometimes, but it's just one of those words that I never get right. I can't imagine how annoying it is for him to have to go through and correct them I actually think that my other document program corrects them incorrectly, and causes more work for our friend Mugsy.
Also, I don't think there has ever been a disconnect like that before, but yes I do use Libre office. Maybe it was a file mix-up or whatnot, but I am still going back and fixing mistakes from that chapter. I think is partially has to do though with the fact that the laptop I use to write has no spell check. I miss all of my mistakes, then have to rely on my crappy pre-reading and spell check programs to catch my mistakes. My laptop also has no internet connection so I can't get a new version of Office on there, so I just have to put up with the old on. Something I am working to correct.
PS: I know Luna is best pony and all, but how could you say something like that
Yaya it is update !!
4594343
Well, one foreword has "word" in it and it actually something composed of words while the other forward doesn't have any simple connection to its meaning.
So the ethernet port is shot as well on the laptop? You could possibly load something up using a flash drive.
IT is mainly for his benefit if he reads this. Him and I are continually going back and forth with insults. We hate each other soooooo much, reason we are always playing League.
4594405
Hmm, ok. Guess that makes sense.
It's not really the ethernet port, my laptop uses wireless. In all honesty, I probably could connect it to the internet, but it an old laptop and already kinda failing, and if it connects to the internet then I don't get much writing done. I kinda have to throttle myself to actually get stuff done.
Really, you guys big competitors? I never really thought about it much. Me and Pink occasionally will feel really good about work we did on a chapter and message each other, hoping you wouldn't find any errors in it. But, you always do. Is it like a friendly kind of hate, or do you guys legitimately dislike one another. Most likely the first if you guys play L.O.L together. It always seems kinda playful when you guys occasionally jab at one-another in the comments.
So twilight might get another chance
4594439
OH man, Mugsy is going ape shit in Skype. Blah, blah, blah, I said too much, blah, blah, blah. I feel bad... and oddly good at the same time. I feel bad cause he is stressed and I care for his well being and peace of mind, buuuuuuuut he did kill Luna.
Oh yeah, I have a large gaming computer and... well... I don't get shit done. I am generally fiddling with something and surfing the internet. Though I am losing it for the next couple of days.
So I actually might write something, either one of my serious ideas or a mature silly one.
It is honestly a friendly hate, we like playing and chatting and get along well. Only issue is he likes killing Luna and I like Vinyl too much to write a story where she dies. Any ideas with Scratch are filled with wubs and her being a loon.
4594669
You're so mean. Why would you do that.
Seriously, please tell him I am not upset. I don't want him to get upset.
4594681
What part about "killing Luna" did you not understand? This is serious business.
Cash for Told
4594691
You are never going to let the Luna thing go are you? You need a girlfriend, man.
4594780
No, I need Mugsy to stop killing Luna, that would be enough. Not sure if a girlfriend would solve that issue since Mugsy and I have similar ideas on the subject. I however am more open the the social dance known as "dating".
4594792
Dating. Right. Four, do you know what a female partner is called when two people are dating?
Because I am pretty sure that she would be called a girlfriend. Yes, that sounds about right.
4594802
By definition, the female that is being dated is called a girlfriend, least after such point both parties agree they are "dating". The social action known as "dating" is different from going on a date. Two people could go on a date and not be "dating".
Oh dear, I sound like a computer. KILL ME NOW!
4594876
Why, so you can be with your precious Luna?
4594905
Wow, you caught onto my plan quickly.
4594669 Why would someone love killing off a pony.... Also Vinyl FTW
4597368
Because the Pink Mugsy is sick, so very sick. He is also really fun to play League of Legends with. And knows a thing or two about physics, gotta know that physics so you can break it and bend it over a table just like Equestria does.
4597463
Hahaha. It's gonna pick up soon. Really soon.
Dementis is in her head
Corrupted her and filled her with dread
Now she may die
And say goodbye
Such a shame it may end this way.
-Star
4599442
That deserves a moustache
4599457 Dont i always deserve one
-Star
I finally got to read this chapter, and it's amazing as always! Thank you!
I'll be waiting impatiently for the next chapter!
want more it made me cry at one point
I think I found a song that describes Twilight in this story.
Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park.
4641131 In my opinion
Animal by Three days grace fits better.
4654257
Actually this is one of quite a few songs that helped me create the character. Yay music
4655649 Thats what i thought The lyrics fit so well to the story
It's a shame.
The first part of this fic is riddled with errors and sub-par writing.
And yet, the middle is that of pure gold.
But this last part, is... disappointing. The tension is gone, the direction of the story that originally captured me has changed into something else, and it has lost the epic flare it once had.
At the middle, I was ready to finish with an epic climax and write a comment singing praise to the high heavens. But now? I'm sad. This wasn't what I wanted, nor something I enjoy reading anymore.
I know this comment won't change anything, and if anything, I expect to have ragey replies from other readers. But... I just hope it says something. A warning to other writers perhaps, or even just advice for those still swimming through the golden chapters.
Perhaps I'll return to this one day, but I'm afraid it is not today. And most likely, not tomorrow nor the next day.
I'll remember this fic for what it was, if it is any solace. And should anyone ask, I will say this was a great ride, but I shall tell them a warning to not get attached. Lest they suffer the fate of unfinished stories.
This may be continuing, but for me, it ended a few chapters before now.