Eye for an eye
Catastrophe was the only word that came to mind. Pure, raw, unadulterated catastrophe, and it had only just begun. Luna stood stunned as medics swarmed the body of the young buttercup pegasus. Despite all of the ponies around her, including her sister, Luna hadn't felt so cold and alone like this since the last great war. Death was one thing, but this... this was an act of animality and monstrosity that was incomparable.
The blood was by far the worst. Poor Fluttershy's body was coated in it, spots of brown and maroon all over her body. Pools of it were scattered around the floor. There were spots on the wall, small splatters that laid there like crude paintings. Even the yellow feathers that danced and played across the floor in the gentle breeze were covered in the hideous substance. On a normal day it would have been strange to see the loose feathers of a pegasus, but today it was a horrifying reminder of what had taken place only hours ago.
How the poor mare was still alive was an all too simple answer; her life was most likely the greatest torture she had suffered. Luna was sure that the poor mare would gave given anything to have the pain taken away from her, and to have been conscious through most of what happened and still be alive...
They could say she was lucky or that it was a miracle, but to suffer so greatly is no miracle. She was purposely allowed to live. Survival wouldn't be the correct term. Fluttershy was strong, stronger than many ponies Luna had known before, but she was not that strong. Her strength came from her love and care for others. From her loyalty and kindness and selflessness. One look at her face told Luna that she had given up fighting.
She may have not been the best flier, some would call her a grounded pegasus, but for her wings to be damaged so was a fate worse than death. A pegasus's wings define who they are at the most basic level; as a result, every pegasus was highly sensitive about his or her wings, and oftentimes protective to a point. The doctors had told Luna that most of the damage had been done to her feathers, and not the wing appendage itself. While there was severe tearing and scarring to the muscle, with proper healing and care, she would one day be able to fly again.
It didn't matter. The damage had been done. The physical scars would heal, but the mental ones would not. At that very moment she was hanging in the balance between life and death, and should she survive this day, the memory of what happened would haunt her for the rest of her life. It was the cruelest of fates, and Luna cursed the unicorn who had caused it silently.
“Sister?” Celestia's voice snapped her younger sister out of her thoughts as she waited outside. With a glare not completely intended for the other alicorn, she turned her head. Celestia's sad gaze met Luna's as the elder motioned with her head behind them.
Luna turned to see a group of guards standing at attention. As soon as she locked eyes with the pony in front, her heart sank. Rainbow Dash was coming, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Her lips trembled and her body shook with each step as she moved closer and closer to her home. At first, Luna thought her student was walking towards her, but then she recognized the look in her gaze.
The pegasus's eyes were glazed over, unfocused and still. It was like she was watching Rainbow walk in a dream. Her hooves glided across the stone road as they brought her closer to her home where her friend lay, half dead.
Finally, once she had moved past Luna, the night alicorn frozen in place, her glazed eyes found their target. In an instant she sprung to life, sprinting into the house to find her mutilated sister.
The sobs came only a moment later. Luna didn't dare turn around. She couldn’t bear to watch as her student broke down like a foal. Just the sound alone brought tears to Luna's eyes as she hung her head.
“Silver Star. What news do you bring?” She called to the leader of the small group of guards who still stood at attention in front of her. The pony in the lead straightened.
“We have heard no news from Angel or Trail Blazer, but Captain Shining Armor has been made aware of the situation. He is currently inside The Tomb, outside one of the interrogation rooms. As far as we know, he is still there.” The soldier reported. Luna raised one eyebrow. Angel and Blue Mane had been sent to escort Scootaloo home from school and had only left a few minutes ago, but what interested her was Shining Armor's work at The Tomb.
“What business does he have in the questioning rooms?” She called back to the group. Silver Star simply shrugged. “I'm afraid it was not my place to ask, but when we arrived, Commander Dash seemed very keen on us not knowing. She almost threw us out of there when we first arrived.”
Luna narrowed her eyes. 'Interesting', She thought to herself. “Send somepony to fetch Shining Armor. I want to know just where the hell he has been. Tell him to meet us here, and do it quickly.” She commanded the group before turning away.
She walked back inside the large house, standing next to her sister. The medic ponies were lifting Fluttershy's limp body onto a small gurney while Rainbow Dash stood off to the side with tears still in her eyes. For once, Luna's words failed her. There was nothing she could say in this situation. Nothing could comfort Rainbow. Nothing could lift the heavy hearts of the ponies still in the room.
As the pegasus's limp body was carried away, there was a flash of magic outside followed by the clopping of hooves against the cold ground. In a moment an exhausted-looking Shining Armor entered the house. Immediately, Luna fixed him with a glare. “So glad you could join us, Captain,” she called, sternly.
Shining dodged her gaze as best he could. “I...I apologize, Princess.” He mumbled quietly, his voice full of sadness and shame. Luna showed no sympathy to the ashamed stallion. Instead, she seemed ready to kill the stallion with her eyes.
“And pray tell, Captain,” Luna started once again, clearly not satisfied with his answer, “would you explain your absence to the rest of us? We have all been here for the better part of an hour, and yet you did not follow Rainbow when she had left. Just what were you two doing inside interrogation rooms, without notifying us?”
Shining Armor was silent, his words caught up in his throat. After a long moment, Rainbow shouted out. “Just spill it, Shining,” she spat, sounding on the verge of tears once again. “There's no point in hiding it anymore.” Luna kept her gaze focused on Shining, one eye cocked as she waited for an answer.
Seeing no way out of the situation, Shining explained everything that had happened in the past day. With each word, Princess Luna and Celestia grew angrier and angrier, their bodies practically glowing with fury.
“So you are saying,” Celestia began, her body shining with golden light as if she was about to explode, “that you decided it would be best to kidnap a pony who is possibly connected to Twilight Sparkle, and that you expected nothing to happen. What were you thinking? That she would just forget about this mare, and move one? Your love for your sister has left you blind, Shining Armor. You should consider yourself lucky, that I am not stripping you of your rank right here and now.”
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Luna asked, turning towards Rainbow Dash. The cyan mare hung her head in shame as she sulked in the corner. “What about you, hmm, faithful student? Has your lust for revenge blinded you so much that you committed to this foolish plan? Did I not teach you any better? Is this what you have learned from me? If so, then I have failed you greatly.”
There was silence from both the mare and stallion. “What were you two thinking?” Luna asked again. “Nothing, that's what. You weren't thinking. Plain and simple.” The room was silent for a few seconds. Luna didn't understand what had prompted such a foolish decision, but right now she wanted to blame somepony. She even blamed herself. She should have expected something like this. There should have been guards outside of Fluttershy's home.
A few minutes passed by, before a pair of guards finally entered. Luna recognized them once they entered. It was Angel and Trail Blazer. Luna was at first relieved to see them, but once she saw their faces, her heart dropped. “Please. Don't tell me.”
Wordlessly, Angel approached the Night Princess. Held in her magical grasp was a small stone, slightly larger than a coin. She placed it on the ground in front of Luna before backing away. “The caretaker at the school said a guard had already come to pick her up an hour ago.”
The other ponies looked to the two with shock and surprise. Rainbow brought one hoof to her mouth. “The mare at the school gave this to us, then once it left her hooves she forgot the entire thing. She must have been under a mind control spell; she had no memory of the guard, the stone, or why she was even talking to us. We tried searching for them, but there was absolutely no trace of her. We're sorry, Princess. We failed.”
The two guards hung their heads in shame, not wanting to look their Princess in the eye. Luna quietly mumbled. “No. It's not your fault. It would seem that Twilight Sparkle was faster than all of us. You are dismissed.” The guards turned and walked away, closing the door behind them.
A long silence fell on the room. In one hoof, Luna held up the rune so that the others could see. “Do we dare?” Luna mused, already knowing the answer.
“What other choice do we have?” Celestia rebuked. “I doubt it would be a bomb. It's not exactly her style.”
“I would rather it be a bomb than a body. Scootaloo's disappearance and the giving of this can't bode well.” Shining piped up.
Next Rainbow spoke, her voice full of fear and worry. “It couldn't, though, right? It took her a whole night before we got the changeling. It's only been an hour. Besides...” Rainbow trailed off. Her stomach began to cramp, and fresh tears filled her eyes. “It's... it's not like she would do that to a filly, right? She couldn't. Right?”
The heavy silence returned as the ponies glanced at each other. They wanted to agree with her and comfort her, but from what they had seen, nopony was sure what Twilight was above doing. Luna, the rune held in her magic, moved forward into the middle of the room. “There is only one way to find out.”
She placed the stone in the center of the floor, as everypony moved to the edges of the room. All of the blinds had been shut when the guards arrived, so there was no need to adjust their surroundings further. With a small spark of magic from Luna's horn, the stone sprang to life. It bounced an inch into the air, before coming down onto the floor once again. Then it bounced again, glowing with its creator's signature magic color. It kept bouncing, glowing brighter and brighter, throwing sparks and multicolored light across the room.
Rainbow Dash averted her eyes, not because of the brightness but for worry of what would appear. She had almost lost one family member tonight, and couldn't bear to lose another. Especially a filly like Scootaloo.
After what seemed to be an eternity, the light began to fade. Once it was gone, Rainbow's stomach dropped as she heard a gasp from the other three ponies. She turned one eye to Shining Armor. The stallion's entire body radiated fear as he stared at whatever had appeared. She couldn’t help herself. She just had to know. As if tearing off a bandage, she shuffled her hooves and forced herself to look.
Where the small pebble had lain, there was now a large black mark in the shape of a six-pointed star, imprinted on the floor. On top of the crude black mark stood a pony. Rainbow immediately recognized the purple unicorn whose unfocused eyes stared forward, between Celestia and Shining Armor. The room was silent for a painful amount of time. Nopony spoke as the rogue unicorn in front of them stood silent and still.
Without thinking, Rainbow hurled herself forward. She no longer cared about her sadness. Now all she wanted was revenge. Before anypony could stop her, Rainbow tried to tackle Twilight. “SPARKLE!” She howled, ready to beat the pulp out of the evil mare.
Instead, she flew straight through Twilight's body, rolling across the floor. The unicorn was only an image. Instead of a pony, an illusion stood in front of them. Rainbow recovered from her fall, her eyes seeing red. Luna and Celestia, ignoring Rainbow's fall, moved in front of the mare. Twilight's cold, tired eyes stared blankly forward.
“Hello Princesses.” The illusion spoke, its voice low. Its stone-still face was like a mask, betraying no emotion and making almost no movement as it spoke. “I will skip the pleasantries. You know why I am here, and you know what I want.”
Luna nodded. “Ms. Octavia, I presume.” Twilight's copy carried on, giving no hint that it could hear them.
“Have I not made my position clear in the past?” The copy growled. “Have I not been generous enough in my warnings? Have I not already shown you what I am capable of?” Nopony spoke. Rainbow clenched her teeth, while Shining stared down at the ground. The copy nodded to itself. “I gave three warnings in the past few weeks. The first was Rainbow Dash. The second was the changeling you so rudely sent to follow me. The third, well... I'm sure you know which one I am referring too.”
A disturbing feeling went through the ponies still occupying the room. They did know. “It would seem that my mercy was overlooked.” Twilight continued. “But no longer. I am done with the warnings. I am done with the mercy. I am DONE with playing around. I never hit first, Princesses. But you had better be DAMN sure that I hit back a thousand times harder. Ms. Fluttershy is evidence of that.”
“So there. You have no options left. I have one demand, and I promise you that if it is not met, I will show you just how cruel I can be.” She was silent for a moment, letting her words sink in. Even the alicorn sisters drew shaky breaths.
“Now then. My orders are simple. Bring Octavia to the front steps of the Castle tomorrow at midnight. And don't bother trying to replace her. I will know if she is the real one or not. And I swear, if I see even a scratch on her, or if a single hair is out of place,” Twilight turned her head towards Shining Armor, her eyes full of fury. Shining was frozen as she stared him down. “If she is harmed even the slightest bit, then I will not hesitate to do the same to my own prisoners.”
The copy turned her head again, looking straight into Luna's eyes. This was no ordinary illusion. The body of the mare in the room may have been fake, but they weren't talking to an image. Somehow, through the mirror image, Twilight Sparkle was watching them.
“You can see us.” Luna whispered. Both she and Celestia could feel their souls dropping.
The mare nodded. “I can do much more than that, Princess. Have I now made myself clear, or would you like me to show you another example of my full power?”
“NO.” All four of the room's occupants cried. Each of them stood silently, waiting to see what the evil mare was going to say next. In so doing, they all came to a terrifying realization. Twilight had them all under her hoof.
“Twilight,” Shining Armor spoke, one hoof held out as if he was worried she would strike him. “How do we know? How do we know she is safe?” His eyes were full of fear, as Twilight turned to face him.
Without warning, Twilight's body faded and two other images took her place. Resting on the floor were two fillies. One, an orange pegasus with a purple mane and tail. The other, a white unicorn with a purple and pink curly mane and tail. The fillies rested with each other, nuzzled together as if keeping each other warm. They looked to be unharmed, and were sleeping peacefully.
Luna's and Celestia's jaws dropped. Both of them wore a look of horror. “Sweetie Belle!?” They cried, not believing what they saw. Shining Armor shared a similar reaction, while Rainbow found her gaze glued to Scootaloo. “Scoots...” She called out softly. She knew the poor filly couldn't hear her, but she didn't care.
In an instant, Twilight reappeared, her gaze unfocused one again, just as it had been when she first appeared. “I have shown you proof that they are safe and unharmed. For their sake, I would hope that Octavia is in the same condition. I will see you tomorrow, Princesses. Don't disappoint me.” And with that, her body disappeared, leaving behind the cryptic black star burned into the ground.
A sickly silence ran through the ponies. Despite the anger they had held before, they now looked to each other for guidance. Luna and Celestia looked each into the other's eyes. They knew what they had to do, lest they face the wrath of the unicorn.
Luna faced her student and Shining, anger and frustration in her gaze. “I want to speak with her. Now.”
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im loving the craftiness of twilight and it just makes me want to evil laugh that she has all of them under her hooves right now
That was so good I can't wait for the confrontation
Awwww YESSSSS
Twilight is so badass..
Sweetie Belle... Well now they have no choice but to submit to the awesomeness and badassery of Twilight, they were already in a tight spot but now they shall be forced to comply with anything Twi says (was there ever any doubt).
God I love this amazing story. -Star
They slapped around a bear then looked surprised when she decides to bite back ...
They are lucky that Twilight left Fluttershy alive as well as Scoots and Sweetie.
If she wanted to Twilight could have done things the hard way and taken Tavi back herself.
So far this story has been one surprise after another, keeps you hanging with hope for either more badass Twi or less killing and more romance. As to the end, shall the spirit within me wish to read the rest - Mysterious Little Pony 101
4095421
That is without a doubt the best analogy I have heard, describing the situation.
Nice work, random internet guy. cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/43452950.jpg
I've said it before and I will say it again.
Kill her.
There is only so much a villain can do and still be within range of "redeemability"
Twilight's attack on Fluttershy was the last straw. Kidnapping Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle just made it worse. There's no way Twilight can be "redeemed" or become a "good guy." She may turn around and blast whatever entity resulted in her current situation into oblivion, but even then she's still a villain and antagonist that needs to be dealt with.
At the very least de-horned and imprisoned for life if you want to be merciful. Better yet, have Rainbow snap her horn during a fight and then throw her into the pit.
It takes a lot to make me hate a character, especially when it is a character I already like from Canon, but you managed it. If she acted like Nemesis, or Karma, then I wouldn't be as agitated as I am now, but she isn't. A rough translation of the name Nemesis is "To deal what is deserved," or something along those lines. Kidnap Octavia = Kidnap Fluttershy. She's going above and beyond that and it just makes her... hated. There's no redeemable quality in that Murderous Blob of Pony.
Man I love this story. It always give me the chills... bu in a good way!
BTW, how come no one has done a reading on this on youtube? If any story would be awesome as a dramatic reading it would be this one!
Wait... Shining Armor came an hour later than them... Did he beat Octavia? And if he did, they're screwed...
4095607
I would argue that she has, in a way, similarly dealt with Rainbow in the form of Karma. She had repeatedly shown what she was capable of, and gave them plenty of warnings to stay out of her way, but they still persisted.
By taking Octavia, they trespassed inside her home, and don't forget that she found a small sample of blood and traces of magic used to hide evidence. She had no way of knowing what they had done to Octavia, or if she had been hurt in the attack/kidnapping. And you cannot forget that Twilight is also tormented by an insane, blood thirsty, and psychotic thing that has broken her mind, and taken control of her when she is weak.
Follow up with me, though. I'm interested to here what you have to say.
4095607 but that's what's so great about the story, she probably will never be "redeemed" because she's simply evil, the main character never needs to be a good guy.
4095611
I have actually considered doing it on my own, as I have been told I have a good reading voice and I want to get to know how to edit/use audio/audio programs. I have a few programs and editing tools as well as a decent microphone, but I don't know if I will do ever it.
It would be awesome for one of the readers to do it as well, but I don't know. Keep an eye out in the future. Maybe once the story is finished...
4095656
Karma is justice. What you do is done to you. She had no way of knowing what had been done Octavia, so she also could not mete out her twisted version of "Justice." Kidnapping her and leaving a message would have sufficed.
As for the warnings. Do not forget that Twilight was also given warnings, and urged to stop whatever she was doing. Even Octavia, I seem to recall, asked if she couldn't just stop whatever she was doing. Not only that, but she also almost killed a scout. That's 1-0 in favour of Shining & the others. So in doing what she did to Fluttershy, she's already broken her own rule in "not hitting first." You may argue that it was payback for following her since it happened before that, but fact of the matter is that she hit first that time. She wasn't being threatened or so much as nearly threatened. She was simply observed; it's not a strike or a "hit," so she breaks her own rule there.
As for her being "Tormented." It's still her actions. She's not being constantly mind-controlled so every single one of her actions is of her own volition.
What she's done is too much compared to what was done to her. She's taken nearly two lives because she saw a fraction of a drop of blood. I don't know if it's just me, but that's a bit more than "thousand times harder."
I've gotta admit... She's not even an interesting villain. She's just another Dolores Umbridge.
heh, midnight and in front of the castle? sounds rife for a distraction eh Twi?
and, you just had to warn us of a possible delay...
4095662 It definitely gives a character a paramount of depth and meaning to them, but I can understand Kapuchu's anger. While is interesting to main characters that are evil or lure the lines, I can understand his disdain. Seeing as Twilight is portrayed as an aloof, gentle, humble, and sweet character in the show, it can be a shock to the system to see the character portrayed so evil, especially since it is shown how hard she tries to be good and reasonable.
In a situation like this, it can be difficult to understand who to really cheer for, kind of like in "I Saw the Devil" and the Ellen Page film, "Hard Candy." It's very difficult who to tell i really the hero/heroin or the villian, and I understand Kap's hatred for Twilight.
4095671
You do make excellent points, but I would disagree with the Umbridge analogy. She felt evil just for the sake of evil. I would not describe Twilight like that.
4095797
What I mean when I say "Umbridge" is that she's a villain that is just there to be hated. I don't mean to demean you or your writing, but you've done nothing to make Twilight an interesting antagonist or villain. All you've done is make her a killing machine. A brutal, merciless killing machine with no interesting traits or characteristics.
Where I looked forward to see what Twilight's next move was in the earlier chapters, now I only look forward to see her captured and dead. I guess you could say that I feel she's nothing more than a plot device than a character as she is now.
4095811
I understand, however, I would ask that you not turn your head away quite yet. The story is not over yet, and hopefully I can change your mind.
Thanks for taking the time to explain, though.
4095671 I do not really think that you need to remind a author on what has happened in the story.
Karma has 20 different ways to be interpret. The most common way is 'You get what you paid for', meaning that your actions determent what will happened to you. Here's the thing though: even if you don't see it as karma, so do Twilight do so in the story. To her it is justice, even if it doesn't look that way to us.
As for her actions, remember that Twilight's mind has been split to six different aspect aside from her own: innocents, justice, anger, vengeance, kindness and insanity. It seems that what ever action Twilight takes only one of these aspects are able help her in her action, which means that if she decides to have a vendetta on somepony only vengeance, anger or justice would be a part of her decision (or two of them if the one with most controll would allow it).
This means that in every act she makes out of anger there will never be even a though against it, since kindness isn't in control then. And since innocents is locked away completely, sympathy is almost completely gone to her. And insanity is lose inside her head and she must constantly lock it back in to the further reaches of her mind. And it would also seem that insanity has something to do with the 'Nightmare', since that was the thing that seemed to scare Luna so much when she was inside Twilight's head.
As for Twilight breaking her own rule... like I said, that how you see it, but not Twilight in the story. Her how Twilight sees things: She came to Canterlot to do something we don't know what yet. They started looking after her to interfere in her plans, so she made Rainbow Dash a little insane to stop them for doing that. They send a changling to find her base, she send him to the hospital. They kidnapped the mare she loved, she almost killed one that they loved. Twilight is acting in the classic Chicago way of looking on vendetta: they do something, then do something worse to send them a massage. Twilight hasn't broken her own rules in her mind... no offence but you just make her motives simple because shes the villain.
We have to consider some things before making it so simple as you seem to make it (it's not an insult, people considers different thing... well, differently) .
One of these things being that Twilight didn't almost kill either Fluttershy or the changling. She wanted them alive, so she left them alive. She seemed to have been in fully control the whole time. If she wanted them dead, they would have been dead. If she want anypony alive, they will stay alive.
Two: We have no idea what Twilight has been through since she left Canterlot as a filly. Why is her mind literary shattered? Who did that to her? Were did she gain all her power from? All we know so far is that she has spend time with the changlings and she has gain many of their abilities.
Three: Who is she working for and what is she suppose to do in Canterlot?
Until the story end and we get the full picture I think it's kinda ignorant of you to just say: hey, kill her because she isn't interesting anymore! I mean, her character hasn't even been completed yet!
4095843
I don't intend to leave the story. You'd need to do quite a bit more to scare me away.
4095898
I accept your challenge.
Now begone, I have work to do.
4095897
I had to write down what had happened in the story to explain and reinforce my points.
4095897
While your argument is very well thought out and put together, you are forgetting that the Aspects can work in tandem sometimes. Remember when Dementis and Saevio worked together to attack Rainbow Dash? Think of it like this: Twilight and Dementis are constantly fighting for control of Twilight's mind. Whoever wins over, is affected by or may use the other Aspects by their free will. Since Dementis won out during the battle, it was able to enlist Saevio to help it unleash Twilight's full power. You were close, but not quite there.
Still, I will give you credit since this was never discussed in the story itself.
4095905 So? I haven't. I remember everything I've read from this story. That hasn't to do how the story is written. That has more to do with how involved and how interested you actually are in the story, since people remember what they like. It seems I have more of a interest in this story then you and are involved in the characters more then you, so I remember what I have read and I can think about it later.
But since you do not seem to have the same interest in this story (again, this is not an insult, different people like different things) as me you have to write down some things to make your point. But that's not the fault of the story, because a tale cannot appeal to everybody out there. Not everyone can like fantasy, nor some sci-fi, some not thrillers or others comedy. This is a good story, it's not a story that perhaps appeals to you in the same way as it do for me.
It's totally okay to say: 'flesh out the character more so we can get to know them better'', but if you are saying ''I don't find the character interested anymore and haven't done so since the earlier chapters'', that is still not the stories fault, but your taste.
You choose to see Twilight here as a simple character, that is your choice to do, but most of us doesn't.
I so not believe that I will change your opinion on this, but I just felt like trying to give you another perspective on things.
4095940
Now wait, that is not exactly true, as Kap was VERY clear that he had previously enjoyed the character, but now found a hatred (Is that right) for her because to her most recent actions.
I don't mind a discussion, but I don't want an argument. You are getting very close to the latter.
I did actually point it out: ''It seems that what ever action Twilight takes only one of these aspects are able help her in her action, which means that if she decides to have a vendetta on somepony only vengeance, anger or justice would be a part of her decision (or two of them if the one with most control would allow it).''
And I do not really argue. I never said that his/hers opinion was wrong, I just said that's how he/her sees it, not me.
But that's also why I love your story so much. We can discuss things like this! We haven't got a explanation for everything yet so we can only speculate! And I love it! That what makes it so fun, really, because all my theories go around in my head on how things are or work and when you finally tell me it's like a small satisfying ending, because you take your time with everything. And you haven't disappointed me at least so far.
And you are the only brony out there that could write action! Remember that I send you a massage before about how to write a action scene? There was a reason why I went to you: because I love, love, love your actions scenes! Keeps me on my toes every time!!!
I just love your story (and I mean like creepy love, like if your story was a person I would stalk it!) and I try to keep a open mind to everything... but like everybody else on this earth so do I not like when people badmouth the things I love.
You have a long and complicated story here, and I just think we should wait until the end until we judge it.
4095952
That is indeed true
4095973
And in the end, everyone can hate it together
I thought I recognized your name. Now I remember you. Not to mention, if you think you enjoy the discussions than think how much I enjoy them as-well. I love watching people discuss things, because it shows how interested they are in my story. It is one of my favorite things to see.
Although, I disagree with your one point. I think there are m,any others who can write better action then me, but thanks for the compliment.
4095992 Ah... discussion of everything... just like bible class... aaahhh good times.
Well, you are the best, and since I'm the self-proclaimed king of nerds then that is a fact! :P
No, but you are so creative! Who even remembers Fire-Twilight from the episode about the Pinkie Senses? Who has even put that in their story? Let me tell you: NO ONE... but you!
And then Rainbow Dash uses a Sonic Rainboom to disable Twilight, but instead if her just flying really far away to do so she instead start circling her like she was some sort of jojo to do so.
And then when all seems lost for Twilight her insanity takes over and summons the bloody sun to burn up every atom in her enemies body (and yes, I know it was only like 00.06% of the suns true power... still awesome though!), LIKE A BLOODY BOSS!!!
But I demand a show of between her and Luna and/or Celestia! I want Canterlot BURNED AWAY, MOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Laser, spells, fireballs, gladiator-Applejack, shadow-mendings, a mind control pony-army, curses, butterfly wings, I WANT THEM ALL!
'hah...hah... hah...' sorry, I almost lost my cool then for just.... one second.
But like you may see... I do love your story... ah, what the hay, I'm going to re-read it right now!
4095811
your 'Umbridge" analogy doesn't work. i'm cheering her on and i don't hate her, yet...
4096065
Yeah... But I do hate her, which is why I use that analogy.
...Still, we all wanted Umbridge to die more than Voldemort.
4096050
I want to do things that I feel no-one has ever done or are severely under-done. You listed a few examples, bu another is the Twi-Tavi ship. There are like 4 people who have ever done that, and I think I'm one of them.
Also, I can think of one other person who remember Fire-Twilight: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/63811/what-choice-do-i-have
4096069
plenty of fics having Umbridge die horribly in ff.net can satisfy that. especially that one fic where Harry is Pinhead's apprentice...
but then, i like fics like Cupcakes...
4096084
I actually prefer the way she was done away with in the books. Harry made the Best. Comeback. Ever!
Also, she spent the rest of her life in Azkaban, so there's that
Anywho, we're getting off track so I'll cut it here. See ya!
4096075 I haven't read this one yet, are going to do so right now! Thanks for the tip!
Something what I always wanted to see: A serious Princess Cadence fight! I mean, she's a bloody alicorn so her magic abilities should at least be on par with Twilights. And since she started her life as a pegasi so air battles should come naturally for her. I know that she's the princess of love and all that stuff, but wouldn't she fight if some ponies were in danger? All battles I've seen with her has been taken so lightly so it would be nice to see her and Shinning doing it seriously against somepony as powerful as Twilight is in this story. Like I said: she's a bloody alicorn, so her magical abilities are practically limitless!
And I'm waiting for what you have install for the other characters of the Main Six. I say Applejack and Big Mac being so strong as they are could be bloody tanks in battle. I say let them wield axes double the sizes of themselves!
And Rarity should totally be a shopkeeper, selling super cool designed weapons and armor and other magical objects.
And Pinkie Pie has for some reason the ability to bend the 4th wall in the series, meaning she can bend space and time to some degree. I would say: Make her a spy! That way she could move in and out of her hiding places with that ability. And being a party pony she could have a catering company as her cover-up! I VOTE FOR ASSASSIN PINKIE, WHO ELSE?
4096185
This is kinda clop-ish but, if you want princess Cadence, here you go: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/118060/the-alicorn-instinct
I have yet to read it, and I doubt i will since I'm not a big fan of clop but, give it a shot. Also, I don't plan on puting the others form the Mane 6 in. Sorry.
I kinda hope that Celestia and Luna check Octavia for any kind of magic influence, and find none but ask her why she helps Twilight... a good little bit of back story for us fans...
man I can not wait for more of this!
4096191 I don't mind clop as long as it well written. I never get of on erotica (and porn died to me after I started to watch Exploitation movies like a madman), but erotica can be the greatest way of reading of pure emotions. 2 examples of this is:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/47227/university-nights , Side-storie of Univerity Days, the greatest Vintavia story ever.
And http://www.fimfiction.net/story/154599/her-muse-her-inspiration
These two are so beautiful written that I always get the chills in the best parts. Like I said: stories purely about showcasing raw emotions in a story. Even if you don't like clop, I would almost recommend you to read them just because of that: a story about pure emotions: lust, memorize, personal conflict, joy, anger: FEELS!
And then we have:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/173737/the-perfect-gift-for-a-cellist
This is a must read! I promise you, it don't have any clop... just talks about it! And it's the funniest story I've read in a long time.
... and if you read all of these: yes I have a thing about Octavia/Vinyl stories. Sue me.
Oh, oh, and you should totally have a battle scene with Vinyl in Homecoming! I WANT the Basscanon!!!!
4096234
Hmm, maybe. It's the not stories themselves, I just don't like extremely detailed stories about sex. I can't read 50 Shades either. It just feels weird to me. Whatever, I will put them in my maybe box for now.
4096243 I haven't either. Got through first 20 pages then I just got bored.
4096258
Also, on the note of Beauty and emotions, one story I think you might is one that was written by out very own Kapuchu. Give this a shot: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/157146/1/magical-callgirl/a-call-girls-visit
4096265 Sure will! Just because I do not agree with him/her doesn't mean I will miss a good story!
I blame Mugsy.
Fluttershy is considered a warning? The act was spoken of as retaliation.
"once"
Didn't say anything about messing with Octi's brain.
Nice quick chapter while I put off getting ready for class.
Are we even sure it was Twilight who tortured Fluttershy? Didn't the last paragraph of her part talk about her eyes turning black? Like the demon? (I forget whether or not that happened, though it would make sense for the demon to be able to get control of Twilight when she was weak from losing Octavia or they could have struck a deal... Who knows...)
i love this story... but if it has a ''good ending'' it would be so aggravating
this has no room for forgiveness yet i know already Fluttershy will ''sigh''
it would be a shame if the princesses would win and twilight still lives
it would be better if the princesses won and twilight wont be able to tell the tale
it would be awesome if twilight get's rid of the princesses
it would be perfect if twilight used the princesses as trophy of her victory
4126788 err, that's weird... I got a notification saying you replied to my comment, but it directed me to a comment clearly with seeker9709 as the recipient.
4126788
When you say races, do you mean the Pony types?
4127656
Necessary or not, it was awesome all the same
4129375
Not many realize it, but it is double edge sword.
Celestia is guiding mane 6 to grow stronger, but it backfire. Celesita's flank was kicked by Chrysalis who was just a bit stronger ( Celestia expect mane 6 to always win against stronger foes, while she herself forgot how to do it), and Discord plants captured Celesita and Luna effortlessly (against mane 6 the evil plants didn't do so well, and it took 4 poisonous plants to knock out Twilight in the end).
Anyway, back to the topic, by making mane 6 do all the work, princesses and Equestria become weak because of it (Celestia failed to beat Chrysalis the only time she actually tried to help, guards failed to stop changeling invasion and are not really helpful in protecting Ponyville and finding the princesses the moment Ponyville is under invasion from Everfree Forest, no one except mane 6 and Cadence actually protect Equestria whenever a threat arise). By making mane 6 lift the burden of keeping Equestria safe, Celestia, Luna and royal guards become weaker.
Basically Celestia is trying to make mane 6 stronger, to ensure that they can solve their own and Equestria problems without her helping, but as side effect, royal guards, subjects and even Celestia herself is no longer capaible to do anything useful as they always rely on mane 6 to save the day. By teaching mane 6, by relaying on mane 6 to protect Equestria every single time, Celestia and her subjects become very soft (guards no longer capaible to defend Canterlot, princesses no longer capaible to fight off a powerful foe).
You get the idea.