The moment Anakin Skywalker approached the Temple on Coruscant with clone troopers of the 501st legion, the fall of the Jedi was at hand. But though he was victorious in the historic battle, not all was lost at the temple. One Jedi managed to escape the Sith Lord’s wrath, but he fled the planet shattered of both heart and soul. With nothing but a tormented mind as his companion, he abandoned the world he once knew to start anew in another… and wiped his slate clean to complete his transition into this new life. But as every bit of his being transformed, so did his purpose. Follow him, reader, as this very purpose takes him on a journey that no Jedi has gone before.
(Warning: Rated teen for mild gore and violence, sexual themes and use of sexual terms. Also for rare instances of vulgar language. Proceed with caution.)
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Well, sir (or madam) it's good to know I'm not the only one who can distinguish magic from the Force
.
Classic. I love it.
Good job on the chapter. I look foreward to more.
Well I didn't dislike it, but I did notice that the story felt rushed, not in the pacing of the storyline but rather the individual scenes
A mi me gusta.
One of the things I truly admire about authors like you is the amount of perseverance they can have. It reflects on how determined they are, and it also shows how awesome of an author they can really be. This is one of the reasons I follow authors, because of their ability to inspire..
MOAR
2687629
. However, I wrote this chapter through a more realistic perspective. Yes, you are correct in saying that the lightsaber's heat cauterizes the wound but that is to a certain extent. It blocks only certain blood vessels, most notably capillaries and normal blood vessels. It doesn't have enough power to cauterize arteries, the biggest of the blood vessels. If I recall correctly, I mentioned in the chapter that the droid severed one of these vessels in Chrysalis's left leg, so it is only natural that this one at the very least will continue to spew out its share of blood.
I can see your point, sir (or ma'am, whichever the case may be). I have seen many examples of this in the first three Star Wars Episodes and thus, I completely agree with you
2687629
. You see, I was at school in the library when I replied to your comment and I was running late for my class, so I naturally assumed you commented on my latest chapters. It is only after I came back from school that I checked where in the story you posted your comment. But still, the same thing I said in my last comment applies to the dragons Bladewing slew. Regardles of what creature it goes through, the lightsaber cannot cauterize blood vessels that exceed the width of its blade. Take the Hoth scene between Han Solo and Luke Skywalker in Episode V, for example. If you looked closely during the part where Solo carefully moves Luke's lightsaber away from him and slices opens the tauntaun's abdomen, you can see small spurts of yellow translucent liquid (stomach acid, I believe?) pour out of the creature's body from below. Now if the wound was truly cauterized, the acid wouldn't be able to escape the stomach. That's how I know the cauterizing effect only applies to a certain extent. True, the stomach and arteries are two different things, but they both carry liquid: whatever can happen to one can happen to the other. I hope I am making sense to you. If you have any questions fo me, please, feel free to ask them via another comment or through leaving me a message. I shall answer them to the best of my ability
.
Oh, and about that last comment... sorry if I spoiled the story for you
Your truly, Cavalryunit001
P.S. I suppose you are wondering, "Where on Earth (or Equestria, take your pick) is this brony getting this information?" Well, my good sir, I write all my stories using sources from numerous sources, from books to websites. I wouldn't include a particular event in my story if it wasn't supported by various sources. Such a bias act would seriously injure my credibility. To put it shortly, I am a HUGE Star Wars fan
. If my English teacher allowed it, I could write an essay off of this one idea alone. Please note that I am not intending to brag by saying this.
Well, congradulations my friend! I'll be graduating a year from now. Anyway, the story is awesome, I hope it doesn't take too long to update.
Sidenote: Whenever I read 'mummy', all I could picture was the little boy from Doctor Who... *shiver*
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Why thank you, Mr. Brony19. I am pleased that you find my chapter to your liking. Oh, and about my use of the word "mummy"... I am sorry if I made you feel that way. You see, I used this word to give my readers a clue as to how her voice sounds like. I had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable. I know, it sounds a bit weird
, but I find it more entertaining if I had my readers figure that out for themselves, so I used this word as a guide, of sorts
. But anyway, I thank you for your support of my graduation. I have just graduated yesterday and I am now a college freshmen. I will be moving into my dorm over in Ohio in August. In the meantime, however, I will devote a great portion of my efforts to getting this story done. Thanks again and keep on reading
!
Yours truly, Cavalryunit001
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It's fine. Just what I thought of when I read it. Have fun in collage.
Looks like a certain husband owes his wife 20 bits.
Your Novel Fan-fiction you wrote so far was the most beautiful fan-fiction novel you ever written with great detail of this story so far in this current story.
I readied from the very beginning of this story to the latest chapter you post on, and HOLY SWEET CELESTIA I CRY 
. When Bladewing and Rose confess their pure true love to each other and the top of that Bladewing just pop the question for Hoof in Marriage to Rose, I at the verge of tears of joy when I read at near end of this chapter. I don't care what other people say when they readied through in the're thought process. PLEASE continued to progress on your Novel Fan-fiction to the very end, and yes Take you sweet time. don't stress to hard on the novel sometime you need take a break from time to time and I wish you good luck on getting the new computer. Peace Out 
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I thank you for your praise, Mr. caalv24 (or Ms., whichever gender you are)
. Rest assured that I will continue to put forth my best efforts to writing my next chapter
. I am flattered that you found my work so moving. This shows me that I have succeeded in my goal to touch the hearts of those who read my novel (as I stated in the introduction on the home page). If you thought this chapter was awesome, wait until you see my next one. I am sure you will like it just as much as this one, if not more. Once again, thank you for giving me your support. Nothing is more valuable to a writer than praise from his/her fans.
Your brother brony, Cavalryunit001
P.S.: Oh, and about the stressing out thing: believe it or not, I actually consider the time I spend working on my novel as a break. I usually spend my time playing video games or hanging out with my friend (thank heaven that he's a fellow brony), but even then, I am constantly thinking about what to write next. What I see in the video games as well as the movies my friend and I watch on occassion help inspire me by giving me new material for my chapters (see if you can find some of these things in my previous ones
). I only feel stressed when I work on it during periods of sluggishness such as when I come back from a large meal or after a good workout or even after I had just woken up. Otherwise, I feel as healthy as a horse when I write (no pun intended
). Don't worry about it
.
can't the changelings just fly to them? or was it more of a risk than climbing a rope?
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Heh, though, I do remember one part in the cantina in episode 4 I think it was, where a light-saber wound bled... kinda. The blood was coming out of the beings severed arm... not the wound on its body from what I remember. Which honestly doesn't make much sense. Although if we're speaking technically, the light-sabers should emit enough heat to singe people from several feet away. They obviously don't, else it would burn its user. I suppose there could be some way of manipulating the force to contain the heat within the blade's radius. Perhaps it's the crystal that emits the blade it in the first place, as they appear to be in tune with the force.
Also, considering you can cauterize wounds with metal heated in a campfire (which comes nowhere near hot enough to melt metal), you should be able to do so with something that is hot enough to near instantly cut through thick anti-blast shielded doors.
So to sum it up...
The creator/author decides how the physics work.
Nuff Said
(The views expressed in this comment are purely speculation, and are not to be considered hard facts. Should you wish for hard facts, you may take it up with Geor- ...
Disney... you may take it up with Disney...
Should you wish for the basis of how such things work in this fic, please consult Cavalryunit001.
Thank You.)
One word, EPIC!!!!!!!
loving this novel more and more.
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Well, Mr. Demic, I did mention in Chapter 11 that the elite guard are unable to fly, unlike the standard changeling soldier
.
I don't understand why this story keeps getting dislikes. I believe that it written well, for the most part, and I'll be waiting for whenever you post the next chapter.
that fucker wouldn't of survived my onslaught EVEN THE BLOODY YOUNGLINGS DIED!!!
Damn I never knew Skywalker would think about doing for lust that she taking a dark path to her own destruction.
');, I'll wait for the next chapter, beside I love it more. 
Oh well this chapter is stared to get interestingjavascript:smilie('
Nooooooooooooooooooooo Skywalker damn you why why If only Obi-One was here
That is the most articulate 3 year old I have ever seen.
Zero comments? Not anymore. Fantasticle story so far. Can't wait fer another chapter to come out after I read the next.
Just caught up. Can't wait fer another chapter!!
This story is awesome!
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Oh... I see. I sympathize with you, my friend. I may not know what your relationship with your family is, but I do know what it's like to feel overburdened by both them and society's expectations of you... and believe me when I say I know more than anybody what it's like to witness the fall of a close companion. When I was a toddler (around five, I think), my pet cat was also struck by a speeding vehicle... but unlike your canine, he didn't make it. Hearing him meow weakly in pain as my mother tried her best to save him with her medical expertise felt like the Devil himself was forcing poison into my soul. I'm over it now, but I never forgot all the blood and dirt that covered his body when my father placed him in his grave. There can be no bad blood between those who have experienced the same pain. Thus, as a show of mutual understanding, I am willing to pardon you. I hope your companion makes a full recovery and that your parents begin to see things from your point of view. You might be performing poorly in the academic realm, but as I see it, it is you who should be scolding them, for stabbing you in the back during your time of need. Grades are replaceable... but the life of a beloved companion is not.
Yours truly, Cavalryunit001
(P.S.: I see you took my advice and read all sixteen of my chapters. I am impressed
. So tell me... what do you think of my novel now? Do you still think I have lost the aforementioned chance you spoke of? Or are you starting to take a liking to the action unfolding before you?)
2113558 Would just like to say this. By "Return of the Jedi", Luke no longer considers himself, AND is no longer a true Jedi. A true Jedi would never do some of the stuff that he does. Case and point the outright killing of Jabba's guards. If he was still a true Jedi he would have "convinced" them to move aside with mind tricks, instead he killed them with a wave of his hand. He, as well as Mace Windu, are by the Jedi code no longer "Jedi". Reason being that to gain the strength and power they need to do what they need to do, they let themselves fall to the dark side, and fought their way back up to the light. In terms of the force choke, as you said force powers are not strictly light or dark, but most moves are associated with one side or the other, and the force choke is something a true Jedi would NEVER use. The only reason people such as Luke and Mace are considered "Jedi" is because of what they fight for, not how they use the force. If it was by how they use the force they we be neither Jedi or Sith
There are Minotaurs and Dragons(At least the Baby and Teenage Dragons.)
4729843 Oh, dear. So sorry about that
. I sort of overlooked that tiny detail (lol). Thanks for mentioning it.
IMO, you could of done a hell of a lot more with the initiation, but i still found it enjoyable. keep up the good work
4771179
Thank you
. I shall try my best to improve on the tale. Your critique (and patience) will surely be rewarded for this, good sir.
I read quite a few chapters except for a few of the last. Too many non equestrian characters were introduced and focused on and that turned me off to continuing.
Not to worry My good friend Cavalryunit001 it's great devotion that I say to write your magnificent novel to the very end and please I give your My blessing take your sweet time to rewrite your beautiful novel to the very end alright. The Art of a great novel take great amount of time to make a beautiful complete novel. alright so take all time you need to make it completed. I don't mind at all right
oh and P.S. I'm 100% Male and straight thank you very much.
P.P.S.S I'm a Star Wars Fan.
you rewriting it??????
6177915
. None of the old chapters will be destroyed (and most will retain their original material), but they will all be undergoing significant changes. The only thing I will erase is unwanted material. I assure you that the rewritten version of the story will be very similar to the previous version. I'm just upgrading it with new touches (and a couple of interesting twists
). Stay tuned if you wish to see them for yourself
.
Not COMPLETELY, my friend. As I said, I'm just making adjustments to the old chapters in order to accommodate the new ones. The prologue just so happens to be one of those new ones
6171698
.
Ah, yes. It does have quite a few, doesn't it? Well, I'm sorry if that displeased you, good sir. But remember, my story takes place long before most of the MLP cast we know today were even born. Not to be a flankhole or anything, but you should of saw that coming (I made a comment about it in one of the first 5 chapters in the unedited version). But don't worry, I will do my best to make the novel more interesting for everyone. You don't have to continue reading if you don't want to, but I strongly recommend you look more closely at the characters of a story before reading it. This might save you some trouble in the near future. Nevertheless, I thank you for reading and I hope you will consider giving my novel a second chance. Godspeed, hs0003
6178054 I don't mind the characters native to the planet itself at all, it is when you bring in too many additional characters from elsewhere (the star wars universe in this case) later in the story that I get annoyed and turned off to the story.
For an example in your story the Sith found the planet he fled to and basically took the mantle of the villain mid story. That is what turned me off.
Edit: I also disliked the memory lock/deletion/whatever, but not enough to turn me off to the story.
6178002 ahhh thank you!
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. The decision was a difficult one, but there's no turning back now. I said I'd make this novel a worthwhile one and I never go back on my word. You can rest assured that I won't stop working until the story is finished and ready for a sequel
. This may sound corny, but I truly appreciate your support and feedback. It's very rare to find a reader who enjoys a story with a beginning as humble as this one. Audiences of your kind are truly a godsend for the persevering author
. I'm glad you liked it during its infancy, and I thank you for being so patient with me since then. I intend to return the favor to both you and all who read my story with the new writing skills I have acquired. I hope you will continue to leave positive feedback for all the stories you read (and will read) on this website.
I thank you kindly, Caalv24
Yours truly,
Cavalryunit001
(P.S.: Don't worry. I'm also a heterosexual male
. I don’t really have any qualms with gay/lesbian couples, but I’d rather have a homosexual(s) as a friend or a co-worker than a partner. I plan on being a dad in the near future and I want to experience that moment with my dream girl.)
From this very moment, I'm a man on a mission...
Coming home after the school and slave driving from parent (bro-hoof for those that know the feeling). I sit down and look at the newest updated stories on the front page, looking at your story I said 'Hmmmm... caught my attention.' For that reason I have open and read the longer summary of your story and I'm not gonna read it. Until my quest is complete.
After all of this is ready I will read this, but for now I can say that I already love it just from the summary :P
.... When I was about to read.
i.imgur.com/P3VjROv.png
After I read.
orig04.deviantart.net/78e2/f/2012/180/6/1/kenshiro_manly_tears_oekaki_by_partidodeladesgracia-d55ddps.png
Nuuuuuuuh! Poor Jack D:
P.S. Man you didnt dissapoint, for being your first story it is awesome :P
P.S.S. Gonna wait for the next chapter :D
P.S.S.S. Did I get it right? This story is being the rewrite? Damn I wanted to read how the last one turned on xD
It's so sad I'm going to cry now
6578380
. And yes, that is correct: these past few chapters are indeed part of the rewrite. I mentioned in a blog post I attached to this story that I was going to temporarily take down all of the chapters I had in this story. Go ahead and read it if you want more intel on it. Anyways, you don't have to wait for the next chapter anymore. By the time you even read this reply, I will have already published the next chapter. Let me know what you think of it
.
I'm glad you like what you see, my friend
Yours truly, Cavalryunit001
6579530
?
I did put the "Dark" tag there for a reason, didn't I
6579861
Kay, don't know where to find the -not rewrite- story but I will try!
P.S. Aha! I read this before the next chapter came out, u get to buy me a mountain dew muahahaha!
P.S.S. Thanks for the heads up! Now to make more popcorn... wait, gotta bring my lunch, too much popcorn is bad for my health :P
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, but I am quite sure I posted the new chapter a few minutes AFTER I posted that comment
. Ah, no matter. I'm sure it's online now. Go ahead and read it. I'm just as sure you'll like what you'll find in it
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. My computer's a bit slow
6579963
Fear nothing ma friend! For nothing beats reading while eating spaghetti!
P.S. Oh boy, here I'm biting my nails expecting him for not to fall for that unicorn mare. She sounds so... okay she is creepy. She turn on all alarms on ma head.
P.S.S. Don't really care much for the action as I do for the interactions. Sure they are cool but you need more than fights to made a cool story, or so I see it :P
P.S.S.S. Another great chapter :D
P.S.S.S.S. Sorry if I can say I find the different with its predecessor xD But I will take your word on it :D
6580033
? In that sense, she is like a she-wolf telling the other females in her pack to lay off a potential mate. Ah, but the possibilities are infinite when a story's not yet complete. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what will actually unfold between the two, now won't we
?
Creepy, is she? *chuckle* Well, I suppose her [the unicorn mare] mentality does closely mimic that of a stalker. But how do we know she's not just trying to make sure another mare doesn't claim him before she gets a chance to know his true self