The Rats, The Cats and The Callahan

by Trigger_Finger

Showers

Callahan pulled into the alleyway behind the building and chuckled as they both got out of the car. “I can’t believe we got banned from that restaurant, it was sooo divine, next time we’re not bringing the rat” Jimmy told Callahan who chuckled “I guess I should leave you behind to since you were the one that got us into this mess” Callahan replied and Jimmy turned away with a ‘humph’.

They proceeded upstairs and Callahan flicked the lights on in his home. He knelt down and let Squeak out of his coat pocket, Squeak hurried over to the couch and turned on the T.V. to the police show. Callahan closed the door behind him and hung his coat on the coat rack and flopped down on the couch, he looked to his brother “one second” Callahan replied as he got up and went over to the closet and found a sleeping bag.

Callahan set up the sleeping bag on the floor and laid down “yeah I guess you can take the couch for tonight but we’ll have to find you a cot or something” Callahan replied but his brother nudged him. Callahan looked up at his brother who had a dissatisfied look on his face, “hey if you want to sleep on my bed go ahead, but uh be warned the cockroaches bite” Callahan chuckled but Jimmy didn’t take part in the humor “if you think I’m goin to sleep on the couch with your pet rat you’re highly mistaken, I want the sleeping bag” Jimmy replied and Callahan got off the sleeping bag “suit yourself, couch is comfy” Callahan replied as he hoped onto the couch and laid down as Jimmy slipped himself into the sleeping bag.

“On this episode of Manehatten COPS, two females try and go off-roading through central park in an attempt to escape police, then 3 drunks try and outmaneuver the police and then later a hothead in a Ferrari tries to outpace the police in a high speed chase down a small highway” The T.V. show narrator said I a deep tone. Squeak started squeaking as he pointed to the television.

Callahan looked up and saw footage from Johnny’s police Charger from the day’s police chase during his patrol. “Oh my Celestia, brothey is that you?” Jimmy asked in excited curiosity. Callahan simply groaned and laid back down. The show went through the episode, the mares tried escaping the police by driving their 1999 Chevy Trailblazer through central park but ended up getting it stuck in the small river that ran through central park, the 3 drunks crashed their car and attempted to run away but were too drunk to properly walk and then the part finally came on about the Ferrari chase.

The T.V. show narrator began his introduction to the chase, “on highway 37, on the outskirts of Brooklyn, a hothead in a Ferrari is taking a little joyride in his new stolen supercar. Constable Johnny is on the highway doing a routine patrol when the Ferrari flies by at speeds exceeding 120mph, Johnny quickly begins to give chase in his brand new Dodge Charger police car but despite the cars big engine it can’t quite keep up with the fleeing culprit” The narrator went on but the show went from the police chase to an interview with a fellow officer “In high speed chases you have to be extremely careful, not just for your own safety but for that of others” the officer told the interviewers. The screen returned to that of Johnny’s police recorder “knowing he is heavily outmatched in this chase Constable Johnny radios ahead to a fellow officer who answers his call and gets ready to cut off the hothead, but as the Ferrari approaches the fellow officer it would appear at first glance that the officer is sticking his head out the window. The hothead takes no regard for the officer and hits the figure, luckily it was just a mannequin and not a real officer, the officer in the car tosses the mannequin out the window and Johnny can’t swerve out of the way in time and flattens the mannequin. Withing seconds the other officer accelerates at a high pace, he knows that this guy isn’t stopping and needs to be stopped forcefully before he hurts any-pony, the officer in the other car is driving an older police vehicle with a large V8 supercharged engine and is easily able to keep up with the speeding hothead. Giving the Ferrari an aggressive nudge from behind the hothead driver loses control of the Ferrari due to the high speeds which are exceeding 170mph. The Ferrari flips and rolls, the light body of the Ferrari is completely destroyed, both officers screech to a stop and approach the vehicle, this hothead is extremely lucky, though the car was completely destroyed he somehow lived through the devastating crash” The narrator said in a deep tone and the T.V. went to an interview with Johnny “Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures, that guy is just lucky that he wasn’t seriously hurt and I’m lucky I had a partner with such a good car” Johnny told the interviewers. The show then switched over to some other chases and the narrator once again began “next time on Manehatten COPS, can these hotheads really escape the Royal guard in a heated police chase that leads to a sea chase and will these 2 bank robbers go for broke or have they hit the jackpot, next time on Manehatten COPS” and with that the credits started playing, Callahan chuckled to himself as he turned over.

“Wow brothey you really are something” Jimmy replied but Callahan began to fake snore and Jimmy let out a sarcastic laugh “okay brothey tomorrow we’re going shopping” Jimmy told Callahan, who shot up “NO” Callahan burst out. “Brothey I thought you were sleeping” Jimmy retorted, “I’m not going shopping” Callahan replied. “Oh come on brothey besides you need some cleaning stuff for your floors and besides you need a new bed” Jimmy informed Callahan, “fine cleaning stuff and bed but that’s it” Callahan replied and laid back down to try and get some shut eye before the upcoming day.

* * *

There was a banging at the door and Callahan groaned, Jimmy had earplugs in and couldn’t hear the noise. Callahan laid there and the banging continued “I know you’re in there, come out” screamed the wretched voice of Ms. Abernathy. Callahan looked at the clock, it read 3:37am “right on time” Callahan muttered to himself but still didn’t get up.

“Hey are you listening to me? Get out here so I can scold you, you little ungrateful shit” Ms. Abernathy yelled. “Fine I’m up, I’m up” Callahan yelled back and got up “don’t get your panties in a bunch” he muttered to himself as he staggered over to the door and opened it. He was greeted with the hideous sight of Ms. Abernathy in a night gown with one of those face mask things that are supposed to rejuvenate the face or something.

“Gah” Callahan gasped as he nearly fell over from the sight, “I know, just look at poor Mr. Cuddles” Ms. Abernathy replied as she levitated out a grotesque cat, well at one point the cat had been well groomed but now it had dried grease and dead cockroaches in its fur and it had an irritated look on its face. Callahan couldn’t help but to burst out in laughter “you think that’s funny?” Ms. Abernathy asked in irritation and Callahan nodded “just look at its face it’s priceless” Callahan laughed but Ms. Abernathy didn’t have the same sense of humor as he did “that’s it I’m calling the cops, I’ll see you in court” Ms. Abernathy scowled as she turned to leave. “Yup I’ll be waiting” Callahan laughed and shut the door behind him.

He looked over to his brother sleeping on the floor and saw a drip of water hit his brother in the mane. “Uhhg gross” Callahan
said as he looked up at the ceiling were the toilet bowl ring had been made from all the dirty water. He walked over and moved his brother a little off to the left so he wouldn’t become drenched in the dirty toilet water, but a quick whiff of his mane and any-pony could tell that dirty water had been in his hair. “I’ll bring you to the station tomorrow and you can have a shower” Callahan told his sleeping brother as he flopped down on the couch and went back to sleep.

* * *

The alarm started blaring and Callahan leaned over and hit the Snooze button and got rolled off the couch and began to get dressed. He shook his brother gently and Jimmy awoke tiredly “what time is it?” he asked sleepily, “uhm 5:30” Callahan replied and Jimmy rolled over and got up and stretched out “I didn’t know you wanted to go shopping so badly” Jimmy replied but Callahan shrugged “I don’t, I have to get to work” Callahan informed Jimmy. Jimmy looked at him “then why did you wake me up, stallions need their beauty sleep to you know” Jimmy replied. “Nah, you’re coming with me to the police station today” Callahan informed Jimmy who looked at him with confusion.

“Why, I didn’t do anything” Jimmy replied innocently, “no, but you smell like shit and need a shower, and considering that my bathroom is like the bathroom from hell… I’m making you take a shower” Callahan told his brother. “Hey just because I like mare perfume doesn’t mean I smell bad” Jimmy argued and Callahan chuckled, “it’s not funny” Jimmy yelled. “Smell your hair” Callahan told his brother, Jimmy grabbed a ruffle of his mane and smelt it, he gagged and nearly puked, “not on the floor” Callahan yelled as he grabbed his brother and ran him out to the balcony and leaned him over the balcony. Jimmy puked and coincidentally his puke landed on one of Ms. Abernathy’s cats. It let out a screech on buggered off down the alleyway.

“Nice shot” Callahan praised Jimmy for puking on the cat. Jimmy wiped his mouth and looked weakly over to Callahan “I need a shower”