The Rats, The Cats and The Callahan

by Trigger_Finger

A night on the town

“What is this thing?” Jimmy asked as they approached Callahan’s ‘74 Gran Torino, “uhm a car” Callahan replied as he unlocked the doors, “no its scrap metal, you don’t really drive this thing do you?” Jimmy asked and Callahan chuckled “sure do”. They got in the car and Jimmy held his hoof over his nose, Callahan sniffed the air “What’s wrong? Doesn’t smell bad does it?” Callahan asked curiously. Jimmy’s voice was muffled but his reply was clear “I know what your house smells like so I’m not taking any chances with your car” Jimmy told Callahan.

Callahan pointed to the air freshener “smells like mints in here” Callahan replied and Jimmy took a daring breath of air from the car then sat there absolutely still for a moment. “Why is the outside of your car so beat up yet the inside is perfectly fine and clean?” Jimmy asked, “Because I haven’t the time to get this baby restored” Callahan replied as he turned on the car on and drove the car out of the parking lot. “Where to?” Callahan asked and Jimmy thought to himself, “Well I did some research before I came over, do you know where Casio Monica is?” Jimmy asked.

“Whoa hold on… you want to go to Casio Monica? That place is a five star” Callahan gasped, “yeah but the critiques mark it as one of the best places in the city” Jimmy replied, “yeah and most expensive, it’s like 100 bits for friggin lasagna” Callahan replied. “Oh please brothey” Jimmy pleaded, “fine, fine, fine… just stop calling me brothey” Callahan replied, Casio Monica was over in downtown Manehatten and was approximately an hour long drive but with traffic the way it always is it wouldn’t surprise Callahan if it took him 2 hours.

* * *

After an hour and a half of city driving Callahan pulled his car into the parking lot by Casio Monica. Jimmy squealed in delight “oh I’ve always wanted to go to a place like this” Jimmy told Callahan as they entered the restaurant. There was a small line up but nothing too long and soon they approached the receptionist “afternoon gentle-colts” the receptionist greeted and Callahan gave him a nod “table for 2 please” Callahan replied and a butler came up “this way, I will show you to your seats” the butler replied and they followed the Italian pony butler to a fine quality table, “here is our menu” the butler informed them and handed them both a pamphlet.

With that the butler left Jimmy and Callahan. As they looked at the menu Callahan decided he would have lasagna. The butler returned “may I take your orders?” he asked politely, “yeah I’ll have lasagna, premium crackers and…” he trailed off and looked to Jimmy who looked at the menu intensely “oh there’s sooo many wonderful things… okay I’ll have the salad with a glass of apple cider” Jimmy replied and the butler gave a polite bow and walked away.

“Oh this is sooo exciting… so Derreck tell me everything, how is life in the big city?” Jimmy asked, but several large sized ponies gave Jimmy and Callahan cold glares, Callahan leaned over “would yah mind keeping it down?” Callahan whispered. “Okay how’s this” Jimmy whispered and Callahan hit himself in the forehead “just don’t talk overly loud this place doesn’t take too well to… you know” Callahan replied and Jimmy shrugged “what? I don’t know, the website didn’t say anything about how to talk” Jimmy whispered and Callahan once again hit himself in the head. “Jimmy this is an Italian restaurant they don’t take to kindly to… homosexuals” Callahan replied and Jimmy’s eyes widened in realization “oh sorry, I’ll talk quieter I promise” Jimmy replied.

The butler came back with their food, “he you are, we will have your bill shortly” the butler informed them and Callahan nodded in appreciation. Jimmy started eating his salad but Callahan grabbed a cracker and put it in his pocket, Squeak grabbed the cracker and began mowing down on it. Callahan started eating his lasagna and Jimmy once again piped up “so Derreck tell me what’s it like living here?” Jimmy asked curiously. Callahan rolled his eyes and handed Squeak another cracker “like living at a dump” Callahan replied bluntly and began to eat his food again.

Jimmy flicked his hoof again “well I didn’t mean that trash heap you live in, I meant what’s life like in the big city?” Jimmy asked again. Callahan handed another cracker to Squeak and took another bite out of his lasagna “loud, noisy, miserable, stinky, crowded… must I go on?” Callahan asked and Jimmy rolled his eyes “well this restaurant is nice and fancy isn’t it?” Jimmy replied and Callahan handed another cracker to Squeak “yeah but it’s across town and very expensive” Callahan replied.

Jimmy flicked his hoof again “oh you’re just a party killer. You need to liven up a little, see the sights” Jimmy replied, Callahan looked around, several ponies now were looking at Callahan and Jimmy, “hey Jimmy” Callahan began but Jimmy continued on his rant. “Jeeze I mean like, you should totally get your car refurbished, then clean up your apartment, and then get some proper facilities at your house” Jimmy continued and several large stallions stood up. “Jimmy” Callahan hissed but Jimmy didn’t listen.

“Then you could like totally spruce up your life and your house could be in a” he continued but a gruff voice yelled across the room “hey FAG” the voice yelled and Jimmy turned around, only to be hit in the face by a piece of cake. Jimmy let out a feminine cry as the cake splattered on his fine clothes. Callahan stood up “hey asshole piss off” Callahan said in a gruffly voice, but several other stallions laughed hysterically, “oh and what are you gonna do? Get your gay parade to come after me?” the big stallion laughed as he approached boldly towards Callahan.

Callahan reached into his pocket and pulled out Squeak and placed him on Jimmy’s shoulder, resulting in many screams of disgust from ponies in the restaurant. “Ewe I don’t want to hold him” Jimmy argued but was too late, Callahan approached the other stallion. “Sit down” Callahan ordered gruffly but the other stallion simply laughed “or what?” he sneered, “or I’ll sit yah down” Callahan replied.

The stallion laughed and swung a punch at Callahan but Callahan caught his punch and twisted the stallion’s foreleg and flipped him onto his back. He landed with a THUD and had the wind knocked out of him. Several other stallions lept into the fight, but Callahan was very talented in hoof to hoof combat and effectively fought back. “Brothey be careful” Jimmy yelled out but a stallion picked up a pie and threw it at Jimmy, it splattered in his face and Squeak lept off his shoulders and began running around the restaurant, resulting in the screams of many ponies, stallions and mares alike. Callahan broke one of the stallion’s arms and slammed a hard punch into another’s gut and they both fell to the ground in pain. Two ponies grabbed Callahan by both forelegs and lifted him off the ground.

A very muscular stallion approached and punched Callahan hard in the stomach, Callahan grunted in pain. The stallion threw another punch but as he cocked his hoof back for a third punch Callahan leaned back and kicked him in the chest with both his hindlegs, the large stallion fell back onto a table which broke under his weight. Callahan used the force of the kick to propel himself upwards and he flipped backwards, the stallions holding him lost their balance and Callahan came crashing down on both their bodies.

Callahan got up to see all the other ponies standing back and the butler standing, wide eyed with their bill. Squeak crawled up Callahan’s leg and into his coat pocket, the butler just stood there wide eyed and Callahan lifted his hoof “Cheque please”