The Cutie Mark Crusade Is Over

by Pure Coincidence

Part I

The Cutie Mark Crusade Is Over: Part I

The sun was shining down upon Ponyville, it was a magnificent day. Spring had brought upon the flowers and the sweet scents of blooming apple trees all across Equestria. Everypony was out and about. They all had their tasks to do whether it was to do some shopping, meeting up with some friends or find their Cutie Marks...

Yet again the 3 fillies combined forces in their Cutie Mark Club House on the property of Sweet Apple Acres. Applebloom was getting desperate, it had been weeks since the three ponies combined forces and so far, none of them had accomplished their goal.

“Skydiving?” Scootaloo suggested, the orange pony diving to a prone position on the floor the purple mane collecting the dust that lay on the floor.

“Naah,” Applebloom sighed dismissing the thought before she even really considered it. “How in Celestia’s name are me an’ Sweetie Belle supposed to get up there?”

“Oh,” Scootaloo muttered disheartened, “I didn’t think of that.”

“What if we are all inventors?” Sweetie Belle piped up “We could make anything and help everypony out!”

“Aww Yeah!” Scootaloo shouted “We could build really cool robots and stuff!”

“Then it’s decided.” Applebloom stated, “We shall all be inventors.”

“YAY!” The fillies huddled together in excitement and bounced in a circle. When the intense friendship moment ended they all realised they had no idea where to start.

“We need building materials” Applebloom suggested.

“Right on it!” Scootaloo was already on her scooter zooming off into the distance.

“What are we going to invent?” Sweetie Belle asked herself, “Equestria’s first ever robot pony?”

“It’s as good an idea as any.” Applebloom conceded “I don’t have anything better.”

The two ponies started drawing designs on the floor, hours passed and Sweetie Belle had long since given up and Scootaloo was not yet back. By now, the sun was high in the sky and everything everywhere seemed to enjoy the warm glow.

“There, finished!” Applebloom said sounding pleased with her work.

“Wow, Applebloom that is REALLY good.” Sweetie Belle said obviously stunned and impressed by her friends amazing design.

“Thanks,” Applebloom replied shyly, not accustomed to this sort of praise.

It was a full page picture of a shiny gold construct with intricate detail on the hooves and tail (the hardest parts to draw as anypony knows) and the construct was in the process of bucking an apple tree in Sweet Apple Acres.

“Even the background is easily recognized” Sweetie Belle thought to herself. The colour spread across was realistic and smooth. Just as it happened, it looked exactly like today.

Scootaloo returned whilst Sweetie Belle was admiring the picture and promptly pulled the other ponies outside to look at the materials they had to work with. A large timber pole, four iron rods and a few nuts and bolts.

“Uhhh, Scootaloo. What is this?” Applebloom said, obviously confused.

“It’s our materials of course!” Scootaloo replied proudly. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get started!”

The other two ponies looked at eachother and shrugged. The ponies started to build their creation with enthusiasm, but after a short time they were out of materials and the construction was a stick with random bolts attached with glue everywhere and metal rods attached in random directions.

“It’s hopeless.” Applebloom sighed and sat on the ground, defeated.

“I guess we aren’t meant to be inventors then.” Sweetie Belle stated.

“I guess not,” Scootaloo added. “So? What’s next?”

“Well hey there little fillies, whatcha all up to?” Applejack called walking into the clearing.

“Hey Applejack,” The ponies sighed in unison, not wanting to tell her that they failed miserably, again.

“Aww, am ah that mean?” Applejack replied dropping her head slightly as if taking it to heart.

“No, it’s just that we can’t seem to get it right. We try so many things and not one of us has yet gotten our Cutie Marks!” Applebloom explained, clearly upset.

“Well, what did you do this time?” Applejack said enthusiastically, trying to cheer them up a little.

All three ponies pointed towards the horrible mess they had put together and hid their faces in shame.

“Oh, it looks uh, abstract?” Applejack could only stare at the mess of materials attached together in no particular form or manner.

“But, I thought I told you ponies to do something you like,” Applejack said trying to change the topic. “What do you like? Scootaloo?”

“Well, riding my scooter, but uhh, cool things.” Scootaloo replied unsure of what she actually liked.

“What sorts of things are cool?” Applejack said trying the jog the little pony’s memory.

“Break dancing is pretty cool I guess.” Scootaloo said, finally coming up with an answer for the larger pony.

This set Applejacks mind thinking, “We have some sheet metal in the barn ah’m sure of it, and as it seems you are in luck.”

“How are we in luck AJ?” Scootaloo inquired, intrigued.

“It just so happens that DJ Pon-3 is in town.” Applejack smiled remembering all the times she had spent with the pony at her rocking concerts. “Ah’m more than sure if you asked her she’d lay down some beats for you. Did I say it right?”

“Oh wow Applejack, you have the best ideas!” Scootaloo became excited and rushed to her scooter, “Come on fellow crusaders!” Before too long the ponies were speeding down along the track.

“You said it perfectly AJ.” Scootaloo shouted from the distance.

Applejack smiled to herself and just hoped that the ponies had fun this time. Then resumed her duties on which she fallen behind on, it was mid afternoon and she was only half-way through her work.

“They better have fun or next time they’ll find themselves working late rather than me” she thought to herself, laughing at the image of the tiny ponies pulling along the apple cart.

Once at the barn the ponies quickly uncovered the sheet metal and sped off once more towards where the concert was being set up. DJ Pon-3 was overseeing the stage construction making sure that everything was going exactly as planned; showmanship is half the act of a talented musician.

“Umm, excuse me? Scootaloo approached Vinyl Scratch in awe of the well respected pony.

“What can I do for you, kiddo? Vinyl was surprised at the sudden appearance of a small filly.

“Well, I was just wondering if you could play some sweet tunes for us while we break-dance?” Scootaloo replied timidly, hoping that the musical genius was friendly.

“Break-dance?” This was something that even as a DJ, Vinyl had not encountered before.

Seeing the puzzlement on the musicians face Scootaloo quickly tried to explain “Well, uhh you see me and some friends don’t have our Cutie Marks, and we are trying to get them but we haven’t tried break dancing yet so we were just wondering whether you could, you know, umm, help us out?”

Sudden realisation dawned upon Vinyl, “I would be glad to help you fillies out!” grabbing her gear and setting it up as she spoke. “It would be a great time for a sound check too.”

“Thanks Vinyl!” Scootaloo shouted excitedly grabbing the sheet metal and her friends, who quickly greeted and uttered their thanks to DJ Pon-3.

“So, who’s first?” Vinyl said, flicking a switch and the machine came to life.

“I’ll go first” Sweetie Belle said “I don’t think I’ll do very well though.” Filled with self doubt Sweetie Belle stepped onto the smooth shiny surface that was slick and easy to spin on.

The music started at a rapid pace and Sweetie Belle gathered momentum and spun in a circle on her back once, twice, three times, four times, five times and finally stopped! Not knowing what to do now Sweetie Belle got up and stepped off the plate, and the music simmered down.

“It was cool, but a bit short-lived." Vinyl said encouragingly trying to make the little pony feel better.

“My turn!” Applebloom stepped up to the plate and the music started once more. Applebloom Made feeble attempts at simple moves and just ended up stumbling around on the surface. “I’m making a fool of myself in front of my friends!” she thought and quickly moved off the large metal sheet, embarrassed.

The DJ felt sorry for the pony and said, “Uhh, your turn Scootaloo.” Trying not to dwell on or remember the terrible performance.

Scootaloo stepped up confidently onto the plate and waited for the music to start. When it did Scootaloo caught on quickly tapping in time with the beat. Suddenly she dropped and started in a spin, just like Sweetie Belle. Before too long 3 spins had passed and immediately Scootaloo slammed one hoof into the centre of the sheet swinging her body around without touching the ground, swapping hooves she spun 6 times and somehow then rolled up onto her head! Spinning faster and faster everypony lost count of how many spins Scootaloo had performed then using both her forelegs she pushed herself high into the air spun 180 degrees to face her friends and landed on her back hooves, arms crossed, face determined. The music stopped. Everypony other than Scootaloo just stared in amazement.

“That was... Awesome.” Vinyl said finally, she had never before seen such a complicated manoeuvre performed. Let alone by a little filly with next to no dancing experience.

Jaws open, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom could not help but stare at the flank of Scootaloo, where slowly but surely a Cutie Mark appeared.

“Scoot-Scoot-Scootaloo, you-you’re flank...” the words would hardly come to Applebloom’s mouth.

Understanding rushed through Scootaloo. She quickly turned to look at her flank to see that a shiny image: a metal sheet and a wild tornado spinning on top of it had appeared.

“No way!” Scootaloo shouted, “I have my Cutie Mark! Thankyou Vinyl, ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou!!!”

”Hey, no problem kiddo, I was just playing music; you did all the hard work.” Vinyl was pleased with the effort that the ponies had put in to help each other and just hoped that the others got their cutie marks soon too.

“I have a concert to set up, you fillies feel free to come along, Free of charge I might add.” With that DJ Pon-3 turned and started barking orders at the stage crew.

“What now?” Applebloom said to the others, “Scootaloo has her mark, we now only need to find two more special talents.”

“Well you all helped me get mine, now I will return the favour.” Scootaloo beamed with joy now knowing what made her unique.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNITE!” They said as one.

End Part I

Comments

[Venatus75]

I like the idea, but it seems rushed. slow down, don't give them a cutie mark every chapter, ya know? but I do like it, 4.5 stars sir

[Pure Coincidence]

127335 Advice has definately been taken, i'll try to extend it a bit more, Thanks

[jdb1984]

Like the last person said, it did seem rushed. Also, I did find you forgot to end some of the talking with parentheses and commas. Also, whenever someone talks, you're supposed to start a new paragraph, like so:

Jaws open, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom could not help but stare at the flank of Scootaloo, where slowly but surely a Cutie Mark appeared.

“Scoot-Scoot-Scootaloo, you-you’re flank...” the words would hardly come to Applebloom’s mouth.

Understanding rushed through Scootaloo. She quickly turned to look at her flank to see that a shiny image: a metal sheet and a wild tornado spinning on top of it had appeared.

“No way!” Scootaloo shouted, “I have my Cutie Mark! Thankyou Vinyl, ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou!!!”

---
These are some things you can look out for when editing your next chapter.

[Pure Coincidence]

127403 Oh, i see the mistakes, thanks for pointing those out to me, i'll be sure to try and fic those in the chapters to come

[Professor Donger]

-CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!!!-

Ok now that that is out of the way Tracking the ever loving shit out of this

[whitefang]

127348

Huh, I think this is a good plot to it, showing how everyone eventually has to grow up. But, as Venatus said you seemed to of made this first part very hasty and also there is 1 more thing

“No, it’s just that we can’t seem to get it right. We try so many things and not one of us has yet gotten out Cutie Marks!” Applebloom explained, clearly upset.

you should change that to "our"

I will track for now then rate on the second chapter

[PinkiePiedPiper]

but still
and

theyll get their turn eventually.

[Pure Coincidence]

I hope i fixed most of the mistakes then, 127403 but, i think I'll leave a few paragraphs with the extended writing for viewer comfort rather than having to read a line then scroll down.. But, your advice was still greatly appreciated and has partly been put into use.

[RBDGabe]

Loved it a little too quick but three words. IT WAS AWESOME!

[bcsnakeeyes]

wow such a perfect fit for scootaloo, she alwasy was good at choreography and moves., cant wait to see what you did for the other 2.