• Member Since 12th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen March 15th

Nixton


E

Fluttershy wants to confess her love to Twilight, but she's afraid to. Rarity comes up with an idea for her and Twilight to have picnic together, so as to tell her in a romantic setting.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 21 )

I enjoyed the story although I'm kind of a sucker for any Twilight shipping as long as it isn't twixie :pinkiesick: Overall I think this was well done but just wanted to give you a little bit of friendly criticism :raritywink:

I noticed you used your where you should have used you're and where where you should have used were but other than that I don't think I noticed any other obvious errors. There probably are more errors that you should try and fix but overall it didn't take away too much from the story. I personally thought that Twilight saying "Yes. I hereby accept your declaration of love and agree to be your fillyfriend" was a little bit awkward and out of character. I don't think anybody, even somebody as socially awkward as Twilight, would say "I hereby accept your declaration of love". I think Twilight saying that she was willing to give a relationship a shot was an adequate enough response.

I liked this, it is sweet and surprisingly honest.

126055 I'm glad you enjoyed my story, and thanks for the criticism:twilightsmile:. I'll be sure to keep a closer eye out for such grammatical errors. I have to agree with you though, having Twilight say that is a bit ridiculous:twilightblush:. But every time I read that line myself, I just find it too funny to change.:pinkiehappy:

Sweet, you finally uploaded this onto here! Remember me? I was one of the first ones to read your "Picnic" story on Fan-Fiction.com. Too bad you never wrote that Twilight x Applejack story about eggnog or mistletoe or whatever it was, but still, it's nice to see you came on here and posted this cute story. As what's-his-face said with the first comment, that should be enough. Besides that, I still really like this cute little story of yours. :twilightsmile:

126113 Yeah, I remember you. Thanks for commenting on my story here. Only recently discovered this site and decided to post my story up here. I'm still working on that Twilight x Applejack story. Having some trouble with it and my end up scrapping it and starting over. Not liking the flow of it very much. But I'll eventually get a Twilight x Applejack story done.

126055 I think she was joking around

126160 Cool. Can't wait to see! Oh, and feel free to come to me if you need anything, alright? :twilightsmile:

Fluttershy afraid to express her feelings to Twilight? Now where have I heard that before...?

Great story, slight little issues regarding grammar and the like aside. I enjoyed.

This story has made me d'aw infront of my class and they all gave me concerned glares. No regrets.

This is adorable. The characterizations are good even if AJ's accent is a bit thicker than need be. Applebloom was totally slick, loved it.

Need to work on your tenses, though. You wrote this like you were RPing it with someone. Couple of typos here and there, but they weren't glaring, so didn't detract from the story.

Not much to the cuddle scene or anything, but for a one-shot this is cute. Keep improving and keep shelling these out!

Wow I join this site seeking inspiration for my own writing and my first find is... this! :scootangel:
I love this! Aside from a few grammatical errors and that one awkward phrase mentioned above from Twilight there's really no real criticism I have for this. (And I'm usually a HUGE critic) :coolphoto:

Plus I'm a huge sucker for the shy lesbian crush type of character! :heart:

a very nice story, just one thing you need to pay attention to throughout: tense! there's a lot of switching from past to sudden present back to past etc.

sorry, things like that just make me cringe, as i said though: it's a nice story :twilightsmile:

This is a really cute story. I really liked how you had the ponies scheme to make this happen.

Finally a Twishy fic that´s good! Seriously, where are those? I find tons of Flutterdash and most of them gets too boring after three or four chapters. Maybe i´m reading the wrong ones or it just isn´t my cup of tea.

Anyway, can someone point me towards some good Twishy fics? Thanks in advance. :twilightsmile: :yay:

Well this is only the 2nd shipfic i've read, but I must say that I really liked it. It was very cute, and besides, a Fluttershy and Twilight shipping.... So nice.

I was wondering if there is some Twishy fics and how that shipping could work. But this is so cute :twilightsmile: :heart:

I like this story! And this was the first MLP fanfiction I'd ever read (a few months ago)! :pinkiehappy:

126384
A classmate of mine saw me looking at the front page of this site last year and asked what it was. He looked surprised, but then I told him about the gore-fics, and then he was like "Oh. Okay. Cool."

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

This was one of the first TwiShy I ever read a while back in Fanfiction. I loved it then and I love it now! :yay:

Are you trying to give whoever reads this a hart attack? because that's what happened to me. This is so Adorable i cant handle the overflowing cuteness :twilightsmile:
I relay like Rarity's part in this, i was going to use her in my fic but ended up with RD instead (it was rushed so i relay didn't think abut it)
10/10 from me Sir/madam.

I hereby accept your declaration of love and agree to be your fillyfriend.

Now that is sooo Twi... :rainbowlaugh:
This was a sweet and funny little story. I got a little distracted by the present tense, would've preferred past, but I regard that as a minor nitpick, since it doesn't really hurt. Your portrayal of the characters - all of them - was well done and I really, really appreciate that Twilight doesn't instantly respond, nor does she say those 'magical three words'. She's stunned, she's surprised and she considers things. It's a nice change.

Thank you.

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