• Member Since 25th Jan, 2012
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Nightmare_0mega


T

Part 1: Kindness Warms the Frosty Heart *COMPLETE*

After a humiliating defeat at the hand of a bizarre human with a mutated arm, a dazed Bael, Lord of Toads and Master of the Frozen Soil, is dragged back through the Hellgate, and plummets through the tunnel walls. When he awakens, he is greeted by a frozen wasteland, much like his home, but there is something amiss. It's too calm. Too peaceful. Before he tries to find a way back, he will make a new home here, but not before some alterations, and finding a source of food. Preferably the kind that didn't have a glowing hands.


Part 2: Laughter Cools the Tempered Heart *COMPLETE*

After the defeat (and subsequent death) at the hand of God, being used by a smart mouth human, Elvis of the Four Devas gives one last request to his slayer before he passes on. But where does one pass on to, exactly? Demons are especially tricky, considering their allegiances and designs. Elvis, however, was always the odd one of his race, exemplifying moments of generosity and kindness, despite his voracious appetite and short temper. Perhaps the good in him could be fleshed out in a land of harmony...

Warning: Gratuitous Spanish


Part 3: Generosity Graces the Voracious Heart *COMPLETE*

Hundreds of years after a surprise attack, a vampire king is released from his limbo, and greeted by his once perished former brother. Boasting considerable strength and new found power after being subjected to the spirit world for so long, he warned his savior upon being questioned about his strength. When all is said and done, the mighty goliath of a vampire, a master of a now dead and scattered kingdom, will understand the meaning of humility and charity. And on that day, the life of a young and aspiring unicorn of fashion and art will help show him the way.


Part 4: Honesty Smooths the Jaded Heart *COMPLETE*

Monsoon came and went, and was reduced to silver lining slivers when the lightening of vengeance struck. He conceded to his own dark philosophy as he drew his last cybernetic breath. But the universe would not let him go, not as the cynical and violent soul he is. The winds of destruction give way to the winds of change, and like raindrops to a puddle, he is reformed on a new world for a new chance. Can his brutal point of view be changed with simple and peaceful honesty, or will he continue down the dark and complex path of his natural born chaos?


Part 5: Loyalty Opens the Closed Heart *COMPLETE*

Heaven demands the highest expectations of obedience. When a powerful witch dares to tread their hallowed grounds, eager and dutiful angels throw themselves at the chance to prove their worth. However, upon underestimating their foe, the messengers of God are quickly defeated. One particular angel that jumped into the fray was stricken out, and denied the embrace of death. While floating through the endless sea of stars, its broken body finds itself coming to a new realm, untouched by Heaven or Hell.


Part 6: Friendship Saves the Nihilist Heart *COMPLETE*

Frustrations swell as time continues to pass, where research and failure go hand in hand. A darkened mind is pulled from the void, violently ejected into a world not its own. Death gives way to life, and life bares death. The final heart as arrived, but not through planned volition. The worst is yet to come. It will be up to the scholar to unravel this enigma, while a new, far more dangerous threat grows. Sing the hymn of the mantis.

Chapters (56)
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Comments ( 594 )

What is this a crossover with? I are confusered! :derpyderp2:

Well, it certainly looks interesting, and not in a bad way. I've never played Devil May Cry 4, or any of them, (or read, or watched, or... whatever form of media it manifests). I suppose this may be a good thing, since the concept seems so new and original to me. I was pretty confused at parts, though, so perhaps you should explain a little at the parts where people wouldn't know what is going on (but only things where people can't fill it in with their imagination, and stuff that will be recurring). One example would be the Frosts. I don't know what they are, and if they will be appearing throughout the story, then it would probably be important for me to know. As for the guy with the glowing hand (who I assume to be the main character of the series), I don't know who he is, why he is so powerful, or why his hand glows. However, neither does the toad thing, so this is perfectly fine, seeing as we only understand as much as the main character does (the toad... whatever it is). But if the guy will be coming back, make sure to explain at some point in the future. You probably would have anyway, if you decide to bring him back, but I just thought I should throw that out there.

I thought the story was well written. There were a few grammar errors and a few mistakes here and there, but not enough to ruin the story. Let me know if you want me to point them out. Or, if you write in G docs, I could write anon comments, if that's what you want. I'm interested in where this is going, so I'll definitely give it a fav for now. I don't usually give a like until there is two or three chapters (so I know where the story is going and... well, if I like it), so I'll wait until the next part. But I like what you have so far! :twilightsmile:

1789106 Thanks for the Reply. DMC4 is indeed a game, and the human with the glowing hand is the main character of the 4th game, but not the series. I won't explain any further for that, because it's not exactly relevant. No, he's not going to be in this story. Just Bael, the giant toad monster. Any creature he mentions won't be showing up either (as far as i know), and is technically supposed to be left ambiguous for people who don't know Devil May Cry. If i tried to explain those other monsters, such as Frosts or Scarecrows, it would just be needless padding. Same with explaining the human with the glowing hand.

I would love for you to mention any grammar errors and spelling mistakes. I do all the editing by myself, so it's hard to pick up on things i might have missed. Keep in mind, though, that I'm also Canadian and i may have a slightly different English set up than most people, though that shouldn't be much of a problem. I'll also let you know if i ment to spell a word like it is or not...

Sound fair?

1789160 Absolutely! There are actually quite a few Canadian and foreign bronies (or fans, if you don't like that term), so I'm used to the differences in our grammar. So, do you want me to post them here, or should I PM you?

1789188 I like Brony. I've been calling myself that ever since i got hooked on the show.

Doesn't matter where you post the grammar edits.

Within the span of a minute and a half, he went from his natural color of ice blue and white to a dark shade of violet.

Double space between white and to.

He wished just once that some human would stroll on through and stay for lunch.

There should be a comma before and after "just once."

Almost suddenly, while in in train of thought, he felt something small hit his face.

Extra in. Also, almost? It either was or wasn't sudden, can't be almost. You should remove that.

He whipped his antenna at it's intended target, hoping to strike hard enough with a similar weight as the human, just to knock it down a peg.

It's should be its, without the apostrophe.

What was worse was that great toad like beast felt something snap as he sailed across the arena and slammed into the ground, which shattered much of the ice spikes on his back upon impact.

You should probably write What's to avoid the awkward double was, and perhaps change that to the. The action is happening directly to him, and in his point of view, so it makes little sense to address him in such a manner (so distantly third person. It sounds like you are speaking through the point of view of the human instead).

and found it convenient that they could exit the city and get their winter wonderland fill without the fear of being attacked by as something as horrible as King Sombra.

There should be a comma after 'fill' and the first as is unnecessary.

Having sat there for the passed few hours, a greyish purple eye staring through a long range telescope, a pony might think she was glued to it.

Should be past.

Onto the observatory stepped Prince Shining Armor,

Perhaps you should start the sentence like this: Prince Shining Armor stepped onto the observatory, ... or something like that. It's usually frowned upon to start a sentence with a preposition, especially in this case. That rule has become far more lenient over time, and almost everyone does it now, but it just seems awkward here.

but his over all composure was as fair as his turquoiseish white coat and his moderate sapphire blue mane, which was accented with cerulean and navy blue streaks.

I see what you were trying to do, but... I don't know, perhaps this is just nitpicking. It isn't a word and it looks weird, but I suppose this is okay for now.

The former captain sighed, and approached his significant other, and sat beside her.

'sitting beside her' might fit better.

whom lived with them and perhaps beard witness to their awesome might.

The 'perhaps' might be unnecessary, but beard should definitely be bared.


I may have missed a thing or two, but this is all I have for now. They're pretty minor mistakes, and this story was written very well, so they don't really affect the story too much, if at all.

1789649 My only counter-arguments are thus:

Perhaps you should start the sentence like this: Prince Shining Armor stepped onto the observatory, ... or something like that. It's usually frowned upon to start a sentence with a preposition, especially in this case. That rule has become far more lenient over time, and almost everyone does it now, but it just seems awkward here.

While i see what you mean, turning the statement around into that makes it, quite frankly... boring. Yes, what i have, on it's own, is rather awkward, but when combined with it's descriptive portion after the comma separation gives it a better flow and better dynamics.

I see what you were trying to do, but... I don't know, perhaps this is just nitpicking. It isn't a word and it looks weird, but I suppose this is okay for now

Yeah, that word does look really weird, but i took it directly from the Friendship is Magic Wiki, and i wasn't exactly in the mood to hunt down the proper term. I could have said alabaster, or marble, or any other kind of white, but that would have been wrong. There is a hint of turquoise in that white, and it's really the only foreseeable way to describe it.

'sitting beside her' might fit better.

I'm not exactly sure. I'd be inclined to agree, but wouldn't it conflict with the fact that the story is in past tense for most of it?

1789807 I was just pointing out possible flaws, but it's up to you if you want to change them or not. For the first, I was just trying to say that you shouldn't start the sentence with Onto, and then gave a generic, safe alternate sentence. Doesn't matter what you do with it, but Onto was the error I was looking at.

The second one doesn't matter too much to me, just felt I should point it out.

For the last one, I suppose I agree, but there is something I don't like about that comma and and. Too many in succession, I suppose. I believe they would both work and be grammatically correct (I'm pretty sure this use of sitting is past tense because it carries over from the rest of the sentence before it (kinda like 'I was sitting'). I'm not 100% positive, so don't quote me on that). It's up to you to decide which you like more.

1790031 I guess i'll take a look at it and see if i can come up with something different... But, until then, i'll just leave it as is.

As for the other one... I think i can fix it without changing the tense of the word. Getting rid of one of the ands is probably the best way to go.

1790371 I am currently writing the next chapter. If you want to catch it, i suggest you click the watch button. :3

Wait till Fluttershy learns that the frog is a few stories high and loves it to eat everything that crosses its path oh and the he is a demon with a nasty temper.

1815818 As funny as it would be if this villain behaved as he did on earth, terrorizing pony folk, i think it would be funnier if i tortured him a bit, and just get him more and more pissed off and desperate...

1815838
a desperate and frustrated demon who is used to being on top of the food chain with nothing challenging him suddenly getting punted down a few steps by adorable multicolored ponies? Now that is something i can appreciate even more than him scaring ponies!

1816314 It's not that the ponies punt him down a couple notches... it'll be clear why he's going to suffer in the next chapter...

Interesting first meeting with Bael. At least the ponies don't have worry about becoming his lunch. But what about the other species in the world? Like the Griffons, Minotaurs, or Diamond Dogs are they still on the menu?

1915986

While he does somewhat dislike cat and dog meat (Griffon and Diamond Dog), he doesn't outright detest it. Minotaur meat MIGHT also be on the menu. But, we'll see for sure if they show up, and how far along he might be by the time they do (again, IF they do)

Bael seems unusually fond of doing his version of the headdesk...

Holy horseapples this fim is still alive?! YAY!:pinkiehappy:

2941027 Yes, it's still alive. I've had a major case of writers block for a while, but i think i overcame it now. I'm actually working on chapter 5 as I speak to you. Now, is there anything you'd like to comment about in terms of the story, or the recent chapter, or title image, or something?

2941041 so far the story has been really good to me. But I kind of think you went a little overboard with the title :twilightblush: and the image is just a small slice of what should be filling up the whole title box :P

2941066 The title image was purposely done like that. Each part will add a new "slice" to the entire picture. Ya know, to keep from spoiling anything?

Not showing consideration for a demon, even though it was innocent, indirectly weakens the power of friendship that fuels the Crystal Empire?
I can understand how that would work, but that doesn't stop it from being some seriously nasty stuff.

... go on, I'm enjoying it :eeyup:

2981420 Actually... that's not a bad idea, but, it's somewhat flawed. Sombra can't just wait for his opponents to get at each others throats. Bael just can get through simply because he has no ill will there. Sombra uses this to his advantage...

"Well, what do you know," the great toad said in satisfaction, swallowing the remains, "You lot taste like licorice."

Me thinks Bael will be having one Hell of a Buffet soon. :pinkiehappy:

3097422 YOU GO GET THOSE MEANIES! :flutterrage:

Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

More like REVENGEANCE!! :rainbowwild:

3102184 Oh god, i really did leave myself open for that one. Touche...

You misspelled Rusalka as Rasulka throughout the entire chapter...

3120220 Damnit all. Thanks for pointing it out now while the chapter is 1 day fresh.

3120220 All Fixed! Again, thank you so much for pointing it out. Aside from that rather critical error, is there anything else you'd like to say about the chapter?

Holy crap! Talk about heartfelt

3121987 I sure would love to add a thing or two, but due to a power outage at home, I have no PC to type on. I was and still am talking to you over a smartphone's 3G connection, and typing long messages in a screen that's barely bigger than 3 inches isn't fun.

I'll post a more thorough reply later.

God... To think I thought this guy was a total douche bag.:fluttercry: DAMMIT YOU MADE FLUTTERSHY CRY!

3129491 To be perfectly fair, he's still kind of a douche... you can't entirely blame him though. That's just how he was raised. How he lived for so long. Top of the food chain, with no reason to question or care...

3129503 HE BETTER NOT BE DEAD!:flutterrage: Also I like your profile pic but absolutely despise that particular boss.

3129513 I thought the boss was fascinating. Not the most fun, but one hell of a design and an interesting idea on how to switch up the standard boss battle formula. But, eh, that's just me...

3129528 I mean I agree it was unique for the game and all BUT DID HE HAVE TO BE SO DAMN HARD!

3129539 Yes. Yes he did. It was one hell of a wake up call, especially considering the rest of the game was just as difficult and daunting. Nightmare was a test for the player to see if they can think more strategically while in the heat of combat. When you learn his defenses, his nuances, and his rules, you grow as a player of the game, becoming that much better over all.

3129610 While we're on the subject do you think you could make him pop up in a later installment?

Well, I was blindsided, did not see that coming. Ah well it looks like more is coming anyway so Huzzah:pinkiehappy:

Wait... Celestia knew he was coming? WTF?!:pinkiegasp::twilightangry2:

3156055 She has a very good reason, though...

3155948 Oh yes, alot more is coming...

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