He wasn't having a good day today. Bael, one of the many great beasts of the frozen wastelands in the Underworld, a highly intelligent and fairly strong monster of a being, was getting his ass thoroughly kicked by a human. A HUMAN! Of all the mortal cattle in the universe that had to be the one to beat him so badly, it was the weakest race of the lot. Then again, the crafty little insect seemed to have an ace up its sleeve with that glowing hand of its. Regardless, what happened to him was a disgrace.
Within the span of a minute and a half, he went from his natural color of ice blue and white to a dark shade of violet. His crystal clear Rusalka feelers, which took the form of human-looking females at this time, and glowed a beautiful sky blue, were new a deep shade of purple accented in a dull red glow. The spines of ice that stuck from his back, normally completely colorless and transparent, were now outlined with the same dull red glow, and became much more cloudy. No, the color change wasn't permanent, but it was a sign that he was not only absolutely furious, but also about to reach his exhaustion point. Various cuts and wounds littered his body, further driving the point home that he took a hell of a beating. He would glare at the human with his red eyes for the utter audacity to be better than him in any way, if only it would stand still!
It's not like the great toad-like monster wasn't trying his best to beat the intruder. Ok, admittedly, he and his kind aren't exactly the greatest of fighters in the hierarchy of demonology. Not even close. But his size, and the fact that he can cloak himself in wind and snow should have been MORE than enough to win and eat the little twit. And his feelers should have hypnotized the male to boot! But no, none of it was working. He even tried swallowing the morsel whole with a surprise lunge, but it was always too fast. Speaking of which...
"CHICKENSHIT!" Bael bellowed as the human took off running to the opposite side of the rectangular arena they were in, just after dodging Bael's big gaping mouth. The monster shook his body, which launched a flurry of the ice like back spikes at the strategically fleeing mortal. Of course, none of them hit. Why would they? The little idiot that refused to surrender and get in his belly always seemed to be just one step ahead of being stricken down. It was like fortune just had to do this too him. Then again, that might have been his fault. After all, he was kinda sick of having those half-wit Scarecrows bringing him cats and dogs to eat (He doesn't even like cat or dog meat!) The occasional Frost would be kind enough to fish out a villager, but that was on rare occasions. He wished, just once, that some human would stroll on through and stay for lunch. Too bad that lunch wasn't exactly on this human's scheduled. He vowed to never make a wish again after this is all over.
Suddenly, while in his train of thought, he felt something small hit his face. It wasn't particularly painful. It was the equivalent of two small high speed rocks. Was the human just messing around with him now? It was bad enough that he was losing, but to be mocked by this little worm was embarrassing enough to want himself to-
BLAM! His face exploded. No, his face was thankfully still there, but the force of such a thing was enough to knock him backwards. He was dazed, and confused. And when the snow settled and he regained his senses, he was pissed. The great frozen demon had absolutely enough from that little cretin. He whipped his antenna at its intended target, hoping to strike hard enough with a similar weight as the human, just to knock it down a peg. At this point, it's all he really asked for. It sailed proud and true through the air, almost about to strike the human in the face when...
It all happened so fast. The human caught it, then somehow having enough strength to lift Bael like a chained morning star and slam him into the ground. THEN, he was spun around like someone doing a hammer toss at the Olympics. What's worse was the great toad like beast felt something snap as he sailed across the arena and slammed into the ground, which shattered much of the ice spikes on his back upon impact. He honestly didn't know what hurt more. His pride? His back? His face? His feeler?... Wait.
As he groaned in pain, an eye creaked open and spotted the human, whom held the piece of his antenna that counted the most. Something horrifying happened at that moment that would burn into his memories for eons to come. The mutated hand of that twisted little mortal glowed and ABSORBED it. He was beaten, for sure, but that didn't stop him from expressing his utter rage as he flailed about in an attempt to get right-side up again.
"You think," he painted angrily, "you've beaten ME? NEVER! You piece of-"
He was cut off by the muttering of that human, but he honestly didn't care what it said to the great beast, because he could hear a familiar sound behind him. The webbed-foot steps of his brothers. He laughed inwardly. He was so giddy, that he didn't even notice that the human was running towards him.
"My brothers will come!" He bellowed defiantly, "THEY-"
It was the last thing he said before he felt something huge and glowing smash against his face and spun him wildly out of control. With a slam against the side of something stone solid, and painfully landing on the ground once again, the great beast was down and mostly out. One would mistake him for dead at first glance. The last thing he felt just before he slipped into merciful unconsciousness, however, was being sucked into the Hellgate as it sealed behind him.
-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-
It was a beautiful afternoon in the Crystal Empire. Through the protective dome of the Crystal Heart's magical shield, the sun shined gloriously, the Crystal Ponies below were merry, and the local wildlife was serene. It was all in the bliss that enveloped the small piece of land in the middle of the harsh, snowy regions, especially since today there seems to be a raging blizzard outside the protection of the dome. Nobody minded that fact, though, for some of them preferred snow, and found it convenient that they could exit the city and get their winter wonderland fill without the fear of being attacked by something as horrible as King Sombra. Yes, it was more of a privilege that no other pony had, but they never took it for granted, and were merely content.
High in the castle tower, however, at an observatory deck that overlooked the north end of the grand slice of paradise, was a rather discontent, light-pink Princess Cadance. Having sat there for the past few hours, a greyish purple eye staring through a long range telescope, a pony might think she was glued to it. Her normally elegant curled mane of violet, medium rose, and pale gold frayed at the edges, showing her slight bout with her own nerves. But what in Equestria would get her so spooked that she'd sit there for hours, staring out far to the north at what is essentially a blank white tundra?
"Honey?" came a familiar voice from just beyond the arch of the deck. The Crystal Princess turned towards the only beloved origin of such a pet name for her. Onto the observatory stepped Prince Shining Armor, co-ruler of this heavenly secret and decorated former Captain of Celestia's royal guard. He had a slight worried look upon his moderate cerulean eyes, but his over all composure was as fair as his turquoiseish white coat and his moderate sapphire blue mane, which was accented with cerulean and navy blue streaks.
The princess smiled at her beloved, but soon returned to her task of watching the white unknown beyond the shield. The former captain sighed as he approached his stressed significant other and sat beside her.
"You've been here for three hours, Cadance," he spoke softly, "There's nothing out there to worry about."
"I know what I felt, Shining," she replied, keeping her voice sweet and understanding, "And I know what I saw. There's something out there."
"Even if there was, it won't be able to get through the shield spell that protects us. It doesn't just keep the snow out, remember? It also makes sure that-"
"- only those with no ill intentions will pass through the barrier. I know, Shining, but what I felt was something far beyond even my knowledge of magic. Perhaps, far beyond the magic of Aunt Celestia and Luna..."
Shining sighed. As much as he wanted to subside her worries, there was no way he'd be able to come up with a solid reason why she would be wrong. While he served under Celestia for the later half of his life up until now, he didn't know the true extent of her power, or her sister's. If anyone knew about such a thing, it would either be Cadance or Twilight, whom lived with them and perhaps bared witness to their awesome might. Never the less, he decided to let the topic die, and hope that she would eventually forget this-
"WAIT!" she gasped, "There it is! THERE IT IS!!"
-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-
"Uuuuuuugggghhhhhh..." the behemoth groaned under a decent sized blanket of snow. The nerves of his back were absolutely assaulting his mind, screaming the command to turn over onto his belly to let his sore body rest easier. It was exceptionally difficult, despite the fact that he felt like he slept more than six or seven hours after his little incident, mostly because of said sore body. He tried to recount the situation in his mind, how he ended up here under snow. He remembered that filthy human, the one that cleaned his clocks. Then he remembered a giant fist coming for his face.
"I hope my brother Dagon ate that brat," he seethed, before quickly wincing at the pain in his face. Focus, he thought, what happened after? He remembered that he felt the sensation of being sucked through the Hellgate, then...
The snow finally slid off his face, giving him a better view of his surroundings. His eyes readjusted, and slowly looked about. He was most definitely in a tundra now. But it can't be his home. He saw no Frosts, and everything seems to be too quiet, too peaceful, aside from the blizzard. In the distance, he swore he could see a giant, aqua colored bubble with a crystal like tower inside it. The giant form then began to put two and two together.
"Oh no," he groaned. As dreaded as it was to think about, he must have fallen through the tunnel that connected the Underworld to the Hellgate on Earth. He knew the warning. To be beyond the tunnel would transport anyone foolish or unlucky enough to places far beyond their reaches. This wasn't necessarily bad, but there was a chance that he was now stuck here in the middle of cosmic nowhere. With no way home. No guarantee of food or shelter.
At least whatever was pulling the strings of the universe was kind enough to dump him in a tundra. It wasn't nearly as cold as his home, but it would suffice for now until he found a way to either get back home... or secure a food source.
His train of thought and planning was broken from another rush of pain running up and down his back, demanding him to flip himself right-side up, RIGHT NOW! With a massive groan of effort, and a little swing of his legs, he finally rolled over, and lied flat upon the snowy, frozen soil, feeling much better already. He felt so good, that he could take a little frog-nap. Just for a minute.
-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-
Shining Armor pulled his eye away from the telescope, rather flabbergasted at what he just saw. What was once just a mound of snow created by the blizzard outside was actually something that resembled a frog, rolling over from its back to its belly. To make things more bizarre, judging by how far away it was, the distance this telescope can see, and how tall it seemed in relation to the mountains behind it, that thing was MASSIVE.
"I told you so, honey," Cadance said, sticking her tongue out at her speechless lover.
What is this a crossover with? I are confusered!
1788566 Devil May Cry 4
1788585 Ah, thank you.
Well, it certainly looks interesting, and not in a bad way. I've never played Devil May Cry 4, or any of them, (or read, or watched, or... whatever form of media it manifests). I suppose this may be a good thing, since the concept seems so new and original to me. I was pretty confused at parts, though, so perhaps you should explain a little at the parts where people wouldn't know what is going on (but only things where people can't fill it in with their imagination, and stuff that will be recurring). One example would be the Frosts. I don't know what they are, and if they will be appearing throughout the story, then it would probably be important for me to know. As for the guy with the glowing hand (who I assume to be the main character of the series), I don't know who he is, why he is so powerful, or why his hand glows. However, neither does the toad thing, so this is perfectly fine, seeing as we only understand as much as the main character does (the toad... whatever it is). But if the guy will be coming back, make sure to explain at some point in the future. You probably would have anyway, if you decide to bring him back, but I just thought I should throw that out there.
I thought the story was well written. There were a few grammar errors and a few mistakes here and there, but not enough to ruin the story. Let me know if you want me to point them out. Or, if you write in G docs, I could write anon comments, if that's what you want. I'm interested in where this is going, so I'll definitely give it a fav for now. I don't usually give a like until there is two or three chapters (so I know where the story is going and... well, if I like it), so I'll wait until the next part. But I like what you have so far!
1789106 Thanks for the Reply. DMC4 is indeed a game, and the human with the glowing hand is the main character of the 4th game, but not the series. I won't explain any further for that, because it's not exactly relevant. No, he's not going to be in this story. Just Bael, the giant toad monster. Any creature he mentions won't be showing up either (as far as i know), and is technically supposed to be left ambiguous for people who don't know Devil May Cry. If i tried to explain those other monsters, such as Frosts or Scarecrows, it would just be needless padding. Same with explaining the human with the glowing hand.
I would love for you to mention any grammar errors and spelling mistakes. I do all the editing by myself, so it's hard to pick up on things i might have missed. Keep in mind, though, that I'm also Canadian and i may have a slightly different English set up than most people, though that shouldn't be much of a problem. I'll also let you know if i ment to spell a word like it is or not...
Sound fair?
1789160 Absolutely! There are actually quite a few Canadian and foreign bronies (or fans, if you don't like that term), so I'm used to the differences in our grammar. So, do you want me to post them here, or should I PM you?
1789188 I like Brony. I've been calling myself that ever since i got hooked on the show.
Doesn't matter where you post the grammar edits.
Double space between white and to.
There should be a comma before and after "just once."
Extra in. Also, almost? It either was or wasn't sudden, can't be almost. You should remove that.
It's should be its, without the apostrophe.
You should probably write What's to avoid the awkward double was, and perhaps change that to the. The action is happening directly to him, and in his point of view, so it makes little sense to address him in such a manner (so distantly third person. It sounds like you are speaking through the point of view of the human instead).
There should be a comma after 'fill' and the first as is unnecessary.
Should be past.
Perhaps you should start the sentence like this: Prince Shining Armor stepped onto the observatory, ... or something like that. It's usually frowned upon to start a sentence with a preposition, especially in this case. That rule has become far more lenient over time, and almost everyone does it now, but it just seems awkward here.
I see what you were trying to do, but... I don't know, perhaps this is just nitpicking. It isn't a word and it looks weird, but I suppose this is okay for now.
'sitting beside her' might fit better.
The 'perhaps' might be unnecessary, but beard should definitely be bared.
I may have missed a thing or two, but this is all I have for now. They're pretty minor mistakes, and this story was written very well, so they don't really affect the story too much, if at all.
1789649 My only counter-arguments are thus:
While i see what you mean, turning the statement around into that makes it, quite frankly... boring. Yes, what i have, on it's own, is rather awkward, but when combined with it's descriptive portion after the comma separation gives it a better flow and better dynamics.
Yeah, that word does look really weird, but i took it directly from the Friendship is Magic Wiki, and i wasn't exactly in the mood to hunt down the proper term. I could have said alabaster, or marble, or any other kind of white, but that would have been wrong. There is a hint of turquoise in that white, and it's really the only foreseeable way to describe it.
I'm not exactly sure. I'd be inclined to agree, but wouldn't it conflict with the fact that the story is in past tense for most of it?
1789807 I was just pointing out possible flaws, but it's up to you if you want to change them or not. For the first, I was just trying to say that you shouldn't start the sentence with Onto, and then gave a generic, safe alternate sentence. Doesn't matter what you do with it, but Onto was the error I was looking at.
The second one doesn't matter too much to me, just felt I should point it out.
For the last one, I suppose I agree, but there is something I don't like about that comma and and. Too many in succession, I suppose. I believe they would both work and be grammatically correct (I'm pretty sure this use of sitting is past tense because it carries over from the rest of the sentence before it (kinda like 'I was sitting'). I'm not 100% positive, so don't quote me on that). It's up to you to decide which you like more.
I am intrigued. More!
1790031 I guess i'll take a look at it and see if i can come up with something different... But, until then, i'll just leave it as is.
As for the other one... I think i can fix it without changing the tense of the word. Getting rid of one of the ands is probably the best way to go.
1790371 I am currently writing the next chapter. If you want to catch it, i suggest you click the watch button. :3
1792741
Agreed.
1794679 Thanks man.
I liked it. I've noticed some mistakes but it was still ok.
Hm. It's extremely well written, but it doesn't exactly bring me in. I did like the little scene at the end, though.
Ok, I’m definitely interested to see where this goes. Never in a million years would I have considered a crossover where Bael from DMC 4 of all characters would be teleported to Equestria. From what I read in the description, I’m guessing Bael is going to get reformed, and I’m very intrigued to see how you go about doing that.
11380848
Big ol' * beside the word "reformed" though. It's more like he takes his first step and at least decides to play nice at the end of his arc.
Also, thanks for finally giving it a look! I await your feedback!