Over a month has past since Sombra was defeated during the return of the crystal empire. But Twilight still feels uneasy. Plagued with nightmares, Twilight has become consumed by fear. But in trying to run from her fears, she will put all of Equestria at risk.
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FYI
All the deleted comments were about grammar mistakes that i fixed. i didnt know it would leave eye sores all over my comments thread.
(is there a way to get rid of those?)
Chapter 3. Working on it.
"I ask because every other pony I know start their day off with a glass of orange juice and scrambled eggs. Not a glass of sweat and scrambled clock."
...That is gold.
You did good, I enjoyed this chapter as well. Keep it up
Issues, since you asked:
Nothing serious, just some consistency errors for the most part.
-Sweetie Belle is her name. (You use Sweetiebell once or twice.)
-Names deserve a capital, as they are nouns (person, place or thing)
-Knew, and new are different things. (early on you used knew, rather then new)
-Using multiple exclamation marks, don't do that. Use one.
-When someone speaks, start a new paragraph.
-Indent each paragraph.
-Each paragraph should be, ideally, three lines at least, for dialogue this changes of course, but keep it in mind never the less.
Thats all I can think of at any rate.
1774850 Sweetie Belle? *curses to self violently for making such a stupid mistake.*
1774850 okay. fixed Sweetie Belle.
Why are there so many deleted comments?
[Insert segue]
Avatar state yip yip!
ckohler.net/offsite/Avatar/avatarAangState.jpg
I really miss that show.
1784340 you can see those? i just deleted them to tidy the space. they were all about grammar mistakes that i took care of
It's a good start. There are still a bit of grammar and spelling errors throughout but getting a proofreader could help with those. My only real problem is that you could use compound sentences instead of so many little sentences. It'll help the story flow better for the reader and fix the fragments that you have floating around like "It's nothing Spike. Really, just a bad dream. I'll be fine", she said as she walked toward the baby dragon. Throwing her hooves around him in a hug as she did so. The bold should be a single statement, not two sentences. Though overall it's good and I'm interested in where the story is gonna go, since you have a whole trilogy planned out already.
Cheers 
1808423 one of these days ill actually get around to proofreading these things, and i dont like other people proof reading for me. so yeah. ((that is weird how i wrote that line))
Chapter 3 is up!
Good curve ball kinda expected but leaves ambiguity like is she possessed or is this her memories
1818744 I know what you mean. but more explanations will occur in chapter 4 for that reason.
1818776 in the spirit of Christmas and awesome stories
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/12/5/b7hTzuUdkU6NzA0RygsgKw2.jpg
1818779 ITS ADORABLE! I WILL HUG IT FOREVER!!!
1818798 I know i am kinda self promoting here but it would mean a lot to me if you would check out my story
My Little Pony: Eco is Magic
I just want tips from great authors.
Any response or lack there of will not affect my love of your story.
1818828 implying i'm a great author........
1818836 I don't imply crap your story speaks for itself its an original take on a classic idea
Also until you admit your a great author i will keep attempting to send you into a cuteness induced coma so here
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1818859 if you think im a good author. read "The Immortal game" that's my favorite fanfic of all time.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1886/the-immortal-game
im not going to get chapter 4 written till next weekend.
chapter 4 is up. shit gets real.
Next weekend for sure. chapter 6: Ascendancy Through Fear
I've always wondered if the effects of the Alicorn Amulet become permanent to the wearer after it is worn for an extended period of time. Well, let's find out...
Cool story, bro. For real. Keep it up! I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
chapter 7. freaking took me long enough.
Keep it up. I'm enjoying it.
Time for the mind rape of the century.
Oh man I hope the amulet's influence becomes permanent! Corrupted Twilight is always so cool!
Good chapter. Although I kinda thought the way Twilight finally gave in to darkness was rather sudden. But then, considering how much she's been through thus far, I suppose hearing about her purpose to betray the Crystal Empire and her family acted more as a breaking point for her than anything else, and she simply lost her will to fight after that.
Eagerly awaiting the next update!
2806161
i know what you mean. a day may come when i revise the entire story. i got stuck several times around this area and in the end was just like 'eh. screw it. gonna finish this now.' thats a bad thing to do when writing but hey, im no professional.
I think you meant Scootaloo.
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This image sums up the chapter really well
2810389
omg. thats an old error i meant to fix months ago. lol.
Thought this story was dead? Nope. Ill be returning shortly to release more chapters. Especially since during this long period of nothing ive nearly reached 1000 veiws. Once season 4 of mlp starts up, ill probably find my pony ambition again and start writing more chapters.
Yours truely, one lazy brony.
3450170
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Im so sorry. I just cant find the fire. To write........ *depression*
I not i.
That moment when i said i would start posting chapters again but later learned i couldnt cause my tablet updated again. Im getting a PC soon. So ill be able to write more freely.
4383200 Well where are the new chapters now?
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
not bad
Yes Sombra!!!
Wow!!!
This story as great can't wait for the new chapter. Go Sombra!!!
Best ending EVER!
This is a great story. Go King Sombra!
This is pretty good, and I'd like to see it continue, but it definitely needs some editing. You have a ton of grammatical errors in here, especially issues with capitalisation.
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE CANCELLED?!