• Member Since 12th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 25th, 2016

Arquod the Huggable


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The war was over and done with. No pony seemed to realize that there was very little preventing the Changelings from attacking once more. However, immediately after her defeat, Chrysalis finds out exactly why it would be unwise to attempt another invasion of Equestria.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

I liked it overall. I also had some problems with it. One seeming to be that Celestia, while simultaneously claiming to be caring and just, also passed a possible death sentence since according to Chrysalis the Changelings needed Equestria's love to survive and that is now denied them. Also, it seemed to make Celestia out to be a bit selfish. She essentially said that she only helped others when she either absolutely had to or there wasn't any risk to her own lands despite the fact that harmony says you should be giving and kind to all. As you can probably tell, I think Chrysalis got a bit of a bad deal in the show. I liked her as a villain and the character other stories and such have fleshed out. All of my personal complaints aside, I really liked the story, it was well-written, and I hope you keep writing more excellent stories.

It was a good one, love the line before the end, huge Simon and Garfunkle fan.

I like this Celestia.:twilightsmile:

Found this when it popped up in my group alerts, of course I had to check it out since I am the Admin for Protect Celestia. Damn it is awesome.

I like the characterization of Celestia, she is still the kind and just ruler that we know but her actions are tempered by history and need to protect her ponies. While some of it I may disagree with (confliction with my headcanon) I do see her not committing genocide against the Changelings.

All in all well done, I deem this fic:
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/060/f/5/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png

In the Name of Their Equestrian Majesties,
Celesita's Paladin: Ex Solis et Lunae, Provendtia et Prospartiea

PS:
fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/335/2/1/second_round_by_famosity-d5mrfv1.png

Love what you did here, and the end is just grand even if creepy and leaves me wondering where she banished them to.
Dont think she killed them, since the punishment is not aiding the changelings, and killing them would pretty much be mercy killing.

oh! "Passions Solis", that makes more sense, darn dyslexic tendency made me see it as "Passion Soils"... :twilightsheepish:

1783052 Thank you for the review. To answer your last sentence, she didn't kill them and it is my belief that the changelings lived and survived for generations in the Wastelands. I don't believe she would have sentenced them to one more generation of exile if she did not believe that they would survive it.

Once again, good is not nice. Peace Through Power!

This story was fun. I like how you tie off the loose ends left by S02's Finale, such as Luna's absence, and also point to Sombra's future appearance. I also appreciate how you didn't make Celestia into a flowers-and-sunshine redemption-addict. She's the Princess of the Sun. She's going to kick your tail into next week if you mess with her ponies. Best of all was the "Just As Planned" moment.

As a story, this is very solid. As a concept, it's excellent. I am constantly impressed by what first-time authors put out on this site, and it fills me with a desire to smirk as I realize that ponies are probably going to have a great influence on the next generation of good writers. :moustache: On a note of improvement, the overall style feels a bit "stiff". As an example:

Opening her eyes, she unsteadily got back on her hooves and kept a weary eye on Celestia as she slowly came down, landing gently upon the dry, cracked Earth. With a twitch of her mane, the Changelings that had been throwing themselves at her were pushed back and pinned to the ground, various cliffs and boulders by a golden light.

This paragraph has a lot of action in it, but it's all crammed into two sentences. There are a lot of "ing" verbs, and a lot happening at once in the mind's eye. It could be rewritten as:

The Queen pried open her eyes. She rose on shaking legs, a wary gaze on Celestia as the alicorn floated down to the dry, cracked soil of the Wastelands. Her loyal Changlings threw themselves at the invader, but with a twitch of that rainbow mane they were repulsed by a golden light. The wave of energy pinned the battered creatures where they landed, be it on the flat ground, a boulder, or even against a sheer cliff.


This chops the action up into easily-read bites. Each event or parallel event gets its own little chunk, and the attack/counterattack at the end is split into an action and reaction. This is a little complex, and in the end comes down to a matter of personal preference. I bring it up because you wrote something really awesome, and this is a pathway to do even better next time.

Hint-hint. Next Time. :twilightsmile:

All in all I liked it. An all powerful god- princess wouldn't work for a longer narrative, but for the purposes of such a short story it works fine.
a nice little quickie

Bad. I like the concept but Celestia's argument is pure bullshit.

If celestia was (basically) trying to teach ponies to fight without her, the changelings are nothing more than chained up animals to be tortured so ponies can pretend to be badasses.

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