This is the story of a very ordinary pony's extraordinary day. Carrot Top and Derpy are good friends indeed, and sometimes friendship can lead to wonderful surprises. It can also lead to arguments, frustration, and general grumpiness, of course, and this story has all of those things as well. But mostly, this is a story about the day Carrot Top learned how to fly.
*****
Originally written for the Hearth's Warming Care Package contest. Many thanks to the contestants who commented on this story, to my EqD pre-reader, and especially to Sessalisk, for helping to polish this story to its present state. Cover art by the incomparable Elosande, used with permission.
Fanart here, courtesy of lalieri!
Audiobook here, courtesy of Deftfunk and Scribbler!
Now available in Spanish, courtesy of SPANIARD KIWI.
D'aawwwwww
I gave this a like.
I've been giving reviews all night, I'm a little burnt out...
Sorry, no words about story, just a like.
6 views, 5 likes.
WHO IS THE NON-LIKER?!
That cover photo is so adorable.
This is the perfect example of just how amazing the narrator's voice is when done right. I had the vision of a cheery grandfather sitting next to a fireplace, reading the words out slowly and aloud, and the whole experience was downright magical. This needs more than a like, so here, have my praise.
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I had a lot of fun writing this story, and it sounds like that showed through. I appreciate the comments!
Stories like this are what makes reading fanfiction worthwhile.
This was a fun, cute little story. The narration was just perfect, sounding like something out of a children's storybook without being preachy or condescending. The way Carrot Top and Derpy work off each other was adorable, and the payoff was like something I would expect on the very best episodes of the show.
In short, this was a great read. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Awww, this was such an adorable story.
Awesome. I love storybook-style fics, and this was no exception. The narrator thing worked perfectly for it, and had me smiling the whole time. Have a thumbs-up, sir. You've earned it.
This made me break out into a huge grin, especially that scene where Derpy was pestering Carrot Top about her weight. It was so silly and cute and I know people like that and :D
I'm no good at this.
There were some errors in it and stuff, but I think you prolly know about them by this point.
Good luck!
Oh my word. This was absolutely fantastic. I haven't enjoyed reading a story this much in a very long time.
So so so so so good. The narrator was an absolute delight, Carrot Top's and Derpy's relationship was just so fun and believable, and the whole affair just leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy. My favorite entry from the Care Package.
This needs way more views.
I really liked this little story. It didn't have a conflict, per se, nor any real character growth, but what it did have was a nice little story and a beautiful voice. You write like the old British children's authors, with their dry wit and insightful asides to the reader. I know that your previous story was based on one of C.S. Lewis' lesser-known works, and I wonder now if you are consciously imitating that style.
If so, you are doing well. Excellent job again.
Thank you all for the kind words and lovely feedback; I'm absolutely thrilled that so many people have responded so positively to this story!
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>I know that your previous story was based on one of C.S. Lewis' lesser-known works, and I wonder now if you are consciously imitating that style.
Not this time (or at least, not deliberately). I didn't consciously set out to imitate any particular author, though the "old British children's authors" is apropos: I wanted to write the kind of story that I enjoyed having read to me when I was young and those were mostly stories by old British authors (children's or otherwise). For the record, my favorite author at the time was Arthur Ransom, best known for writing the Swallows and Amazons books. Which are wonderful, though Old Peter's Russian Tales was always my favorite.
Absolutely delightful. Nothing else I can say about it.
That's pretty much all that needs to be said.
I have no words, so
Awwwww.
Sweet stuff right here. The narration is like something from the best children stories, perfectly level and serious without any simpering or such, Derpy and Carrot Top both feel natural and very cute, and the resolution is just beautiful. Thank you for the smiles, maker.
Hope the EqD feature makes up for the contest results. This was personally one of my favorites in the final round and I'm glad to see the response it has gotten.
Absolutely loved the story but I did have one question. Am I the only one getting a "Hobbit-like" vibe out this line?
Stories like this are why I read pony fics.That was charming and perfectly delightful.
I love this, I really do.
I don't know what to say about it beyond how wonderfully charming it is in its simplicity. This was written as a fun little story for a sick little girl, and you managed to cram so much fun and lightheartedness into 4500 words that I'm sure she adored it, even if it wasn't the contest winner.
I was a judge in the contest, but unfortunately was unable to submit my votes due to confusion with the submission form, but this was definitely one of the best!
this is the greatest narration style i have ever read.
and you captured my headcanon for derpy's personallity perfectly!
Absolutely brilliant. And do I smell a bit of Pratchett-y way of describing the world and circumstances? The bit about getting up late on Sunday feels like taken out of one of Discworld's novels. This story also reminded me very much of A.A.Milne's way of narrating.
Really nice story, very heart warming, also derpy is in it so its an ista fave.
You deserved far better than the judges gave you credit for (talking to one of them revealed that they voted primarily on how well the story would translate to being illustrated, so... yeah...). This was easily my favourite story of the bunch (and, in fact, the only one I actively enjoyed reading). I hope you plan on joining in on other /fic/ write-offs! Current one has the first issue of the MLP comic up for grabs and I think Carrot Top is visible in one of the panels ;) .
That was absolutely beautiful. Extremely well written, a nice idea, good characters.
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I agree. This had a Winnie the Pooh narrative feel all the way through. Considering i'm a huge Tigger fan that's a plus in my mind.
Woohoo, EqD feature! It's fun coming home to see that I have seventy new notifications. Thank you, everyone, for the comments!
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Like I said in my blog post, losing the contest didn't really come as a surprise to me (a man can dream, though...). Mucho thanks for setting up the event--I had a tremendous amount of fun, and it seemed like a great idea top-to-bottom.
1776334>>1776777>>1777283
If you guys keep comparing me to authors of that caliber, I'm liable to get a big(ger) head about it. Thank you all very much for feeling that I justified the comparison, though!
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Writing for this event was definitely fun, and you can expect to see me back again for future write-offs! As time and decent ideas for stories permit, of course.
I'm not the first to say it but I'll say it again anyway... the flow of the narrative in this story was perfect. Maybe it's just because it's near Christmas, but it reminds me a lot of the Rankin/Bass "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" Christmas special I watched every year as a kid... not in theme of course, but in the way I can almost hear the voice of the narrator setting the scene before the characters run with it. I like your take on Derpy's personality, and now I'm even wondering what more Carrot Top would be like...
Also:
Philisophical Derpy? Awesome!
If you wanted to continue this you could do more chapters with Derpy helping Carrot Top fly in different ways. Pinkiecopter, Butterfly wings, Levitation, Cloud + Cloudwalking spell, Ect.
Also this Derpy is quite possably the most adorable Derpy i've ever read about.
I don't have any words for this story. It was cute, fun, enjoyable, and a shining ray of light in our surprisingly dark fandom.
So thank you. Thank you for a marvelous Everyone-rated story.
I recommend reading this story as narrated by Morgan Freeman. You're welcome.
Words cannot express how sweet and lovely and just wonderful this fic is. Truly, all my muffins and bravos go to you.
:D
I am getting an A. A. Milne vibe off this story...
Simply reading this story does not do it justice; it needs to be read aloud (or listened to) to get the full flavour of the text.
So... so cute... I have the sudden urge to snuggle with kittens...
I love that line, so funny. Great writing through and through!
I love your narration style throughout, it's very pleasant and nostalgic. Definitely agree on the prior comments about how it should be voiced, I kept imagining Stephen Fry's voice throughout. Well done!
>>>Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there lived a pony.
Now, this was not a particularly unusual thing. Many creatures lived in Equestria once upon a time...>>>
UNTIL THE DARK EVIL DESTROYED ALL LIFE AND LEFT EQUESTRIA A DEAD LAND OF FRIGID ETERNAL... ack! Gotta stop reading so many dark fics! The taint of them is taking over!!
1776961 How can one even judge on such a criterion? How well something can be illustrated is based on the talent of the illustrator, not the content of the text.
Anything can be illustrated well with a skilled artist. Need we bring up comics and graphic novels? Or how about a particular moving picture story about a land of little ponies? Animation is nothing more than many many illustrations strung together to tell a story, is it not?
Incredible. If you haven't already, consider writing professionally.
This... This was the most heartwarming and touching and freakin' ADORABLE things that I've read in a long time. Long story short: YES
That was... really good.
I can't quite express the fuzziness in my heart that it left me with, but perhaps such things are better left unstated or understated.
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A story shouldn't even need a picture to convey the imagery. Part of the beauty of the written word is that it's left to the reader's imagination. They can be nice, yes, but a story should be able to stand on its own two feet.
1786840 Well, that was rather my point in a round-about way. Any story can be illustrated, but the story content and skill should be first and foremost the most important criteria.
A terrible story, even when illustrated beautifully, will still be a failure.
Unless it's a movie. People flock to bad movies with lots of special effects, in spite of paper-thin plots, cliche situations, massive plot holes, and nothing but one-dimensional characters and absurd deux ex solutions... (grumbles angrily about "Avatar")
Ahh, balls. You have no idea how much I really wanted to enjoy this, but I have no memories of this kind of narration to give me any nostalgic vibes. The older curmudgeon that I am now just can't find any resonance with the style. Ho hum.
That said, what I can say is that I automatically read it in Sir Ian McKellen's voice, as Gandalf from the first part of Lord of the Rings. That has to count for something, right?
-Scott
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Indeed.
You forgot "and is essentially Pocahontas in space".