Tales from the Staff Canteen

by Midnightshadow

The Maid - by Polecat

She grumbled as she pulled the massive stack of papers up the stairs. Leave it to her to draw this duty… again. She’d have to check those straws later, she’d gotten this same “responsibility” for two weeks running now. She clenched the string tying the new batch of rejected stories with her teeth and heaved it up to the landing.

“One of these days…” she grunted, dragging the bale onto the balcony, “…I’m going to get Sethisto to explain WHY we print these out just so we can launch them to the moon.”

With the burden set down, she trotted around the large bore cannon, short and stout, that pointed skyward. She’d asked once how in Equestria it managed to hit the moon in the middle of the morning, but all she got told was “It’s magic”, and everypony would chime in “…we ain’t gotta explain shit!”

She chuckled and stretched under the sunlight for a moment, using the superior view from the balcony to look out over Canterlot. It wasn’t too long after sun-up, so most ponies were still convincing their lazy flanks to get out of bed. Her eyes narrowed as she saw a figure heading their way, adjusted her glasses for a better look, and frowned. Quickly she trotted over to the horn (literally, the damned thing looked like a brass horn stuck on the wall) and called into it.

“Front office, this is Polecat. I’m up on the balcony and I spotted an incoming. You’re about to have a Code Purple.”

“Code Purple?” came the response, was that Siraj? “What’s Twilight want now?”

“Dunno, I think that latest chapter of the Twixie fic went up last night,” she considered, “Maybe another fic with her loosing control of her magic.”

“Oh sweet Celestia, not ANOTHER two hour lecture on how magic doesn’t work like that!”

“See if we have one of those fics lying around with an OC hitting on her,” she called back with a chuckle, “She always gets all nervous and can’t manage more then five minutes or so. Last time she literally thanked me for culling this really raunchy one I found and bolted out, face beet red.”

“Right, I’ll take a quick look. Thanks for the heads up!”

Polecat sighed and shook her head, if only all of the ‘mane six’ were that easy to handle.

“Good morning.”

The voice caught Polecat by surprise, and she whirled about, then quickly knelt down, “G-good morning, Princess Celestia,” she stammered, remembering the last staffer to forget to bow with a shudder, "What can we do for you this fine day?”

“Oh, just a little something…” the Princess said, and her horn began to glow. Polecat’s ears drooped, Celestia casting something at one of them was NEVER a good thing, and the warm glow began to envelop her. She closed her eyes, afraid to open them again, expecting a lunar landscape in her near future.

“Oh stop cowering already,” Celestia said, and Polecat managed to open her eyes. She was still here? She moved to stand properly again, and felt… something. A dress? She quickly looked at herself, and her jaw dropped.

“Um… Princess?”

“Oh, that? Well since Luna won’t let me send you staffers to the moon over this, I had to come up with a more... creative punishment,” she chuckled, “one that even Luna agreed to.”

“That doesn’t explain why I’m wearing a maid uniform!”

“Well I remembered you ponies reprinting those scandalous photos of Luna and I dressed up as maids a few months back, and we decided that for the next few months, one of you ponies will be wearing a maid uniform. Colt or Filly, you will be stuck in it for a full day.” She grinned, “Not to worry, it won’t come off until it is the next staffer’s turn. Have fun.”

Polecat could only watch as the Princess flew away, then heaved a heavy sigh, “It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it?”

Comments

[Cloudhammer]

*facehoof* Oh Celestia, why you be such a troll?

problem?

NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE MOON! Although, it'd get me out of this class