Chapter 2: Free Deadly Pie
- Chapter 2 -
The next day, rehearsal ended in a spectacular fashion.
“I am for you!” challenged Scootaloo, drawing from her saddlebag a large whipped-cream pie.
“Gen-teel Marecrutio, put yer pastry up!” rebuked Applebloom, stepping between her two dangerously armed friends.
“Come, mare, your... avocado?” squeaked Sweetie Belle, glancing uncertainly offstage towards Forceful Will and Purple Prose, who watched the rehearsal from the front row seats.
“Passado. It means a thrust or pass. Classically, you’d both have swords, but...” Forceful Will looked to Purple Prose.
Purple Prose sighed, looking depressed. “Swords are too violent. So, instead, it’s pies. Deadly pies. So sayeth Miss Cheerilee, and your parents.”
Sweetie Bell nodded, “Oh! Okay, got it.” Her visage firming up, she adjusted the floppy beret on her head and called to Scootaloo, “Come, mare, your passado!” She drew a similar pie from her own saddlebag, brandishing it in as threatening a manner as possible.
Ponky struck a few dramatic chords on the piano as ‘Marecrutio’ and ‘Tybit’ circled one-another, pretending to lunge at one another with the pies, and ‘Romule’ interspersed herself between the combatants. Purple Prose shook his head, murmuring to Forceful Will, “Someday, I’ll write something that isn’t forcibly child friendly. A story for the ages, Force.”
“You write just fine,” admonished Forceful Will.
“I just rewrote Flankspeare with a pie fight.”
“Not everything has to be a commentary on the deeper aspects of ponydom, Prose. Sometimes, you gotta write a pie fight.”
Purple Prose smirked. “At least this is the best dang pie fight you’ll ever see.”
On cue, the remaining foals charged from offstage, brandishing pies. Whipped cream flew, and cries of “Forsooth!” and “I am slain!” rang out. After the brief, sticky melee, half the foals were splattered messes, giggling quietly as they lay ‘dead’ on the ground in dramatic poses. The survivors dragged their brethren offstage, leaving Romule cradling Marecrutio. Ponky switched gears, tapping out a sad dirge on the piano.
“I am hurt!” cried Sweetie Belle, putting a hoof dramatically on her forehead, much in a similar manner as her big sister. “A plague upon both your stables! I am spent.”
“Oh no! Are ya hurt?” asked Applebloom, face scrunching up in concern.
“‘Tis but a scratch, but ‘tis enough.” Sweetie Bell briefly broke character, frowning and stage-whispering, “And my mane is all sticky.”
Applebloom giggled, before regaining her composure, “Fetch a doctor!”
Sweetie Belle was dragged bodily offstage by a few foals, leaving Applebloom alone onstage. Scootaloo returned quickly from the wings, brandishing a pie and laughing an evil laugh. “Thou, wretched mule, that didst consort him here, shall be with him hence!”
Ponky struck a classic chord, the piano emitting a ‘Dun dun DUN!’ Ponky smirked.
Applebloom rose, drawing a pie from her saddlebag with an angry growl. “This will determine that!”
Scootaloo rushed Applebloom, throwing her pie, and Applebloom delivered a quick Apple-family buck at the approaching tin of whipped cream, knocking it away. Scootaloo cowered, and Applebloom approached her, splatting the pie into her face with finality. Scootaloo collapsed, twitching comically, and Ponky played a fanfare.
“All right, my little ponies, that’s a good place to stop. We’re all out of time, I’m afraid,” called Cheerilee from the back row, where she had been working quietly on grading some assignments.
The foals all protested, muttering to each other, but began to pack up their scripts. Props stepped out from the wings, calling out, “All right, everypony, great job. Be sure to drop off all your props and costume pieces with me, so I can get them to Lame Duck—our stage manager—for cleaning!”
Sweetie Belle skipped up to the side of the stage, beaming at Ponky. “You remembered to play a sad song when I died!”
“Of course I remembered. It was a good suggestion!” Ponky smiled at Sweetie Belle, who laughed happily.
Applebloom and Scootaloo called to Sweetie Belle, and she gave Ponky a wave goodbye before trotting off. Ponky chuckled, shaking his head with amusement. Above, in the rafters, Razzberry called down to Ponky, “Hey, Ponky, don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Ponky blinked, glancing up, and gasped as realization hit him. “Oh! Thanks Raz, you’re the best!”
“Yeah I am,” preened Razzberry, smirking.
“So modest, too,” muttered Ellipsis, shutting down the lighting board with a flick of a hoof.
The foals all galloped off the stage, flowing around Ponky in a giggling tide as he made for the exit. Ponky hopped into the air, floating over the foals to get to the double doors, when Cheerilee stepped in front of him, blocking his escape. “Thank you, Ponky. I saw that you took some of my student’s suggestions to heart when you were doing the music, and I wanted you to know I appreciate it.”
Ponky plastered a grin on his face, glancing around for some way to quickly end the conversation without seeming rude. His eyes settled on Ellipsis, who was staring at Cheerilee from behind her with half-lidded eyes and sighing dreamily. “Oh, that was nothing, Miss Cheerilee. Did you see what Ellipsis did with the lighting? Awesome stuff. You should ask him about it.”
Ellipsis’s ears perked forward, and he blinked, snapping out of his ruminations with a surprised jolt. Cheerilee turned towards him, smiling, and Ellipsis shot Ponky a fast grin, mouthing ‘you rock.’ Ponky winked at his friend and winged out the door, heading for Sugarcube Corner at top speed.
Ponky skidded into a landing at the doorstep of Sugarcube Corner, breathing hard. He glanced around, and then paused for a moment to muss his mane back into its more standard appearance, pushing it forward. He pulled off his Wonderbolts Hoodie and tucked it away in his saddlebag. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door to Sugarcube Corner, stepping inside.
The bakery was noisier than average today, as six mares—Pinkie’s friends—all sat around a table, chatting animatedly with each other while music played in the background. Ponky smiled, glancing at each of the mares, before fixing his eyes on Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie’s ears wobbled, and she flipped around, pointing. “There you are! My Pinkie Sense told me somepony special was sneaking up on me!”
Ponky smiled, his face feeling a little warm. “I was so not sneaking up on you. I just got here!”
“Well, wouldn’t that be the best time to sneak up on me?” Pinkie Pie gave him a knowing look.
“I-I guess so?”
Pinkie laughed, “You’re a good sport, Ponky!”
Across from Pinkie Pie, Rarity cleared her throat, and gestured towards Ponky. “Excuse me, Pinkie, would you be so kind as to introduce us to your friend?”
Ponky took a step forward, trying to seem confident despite the five fresh pairs of eyes fixed on him. Pinkie slid up next to Ponky, throwing a foreleg over his shoulders. “Girls, this is Ponky! Ponky, these are my best friends in the whole wide world!”
Lifting a hoof and waving slightly, Ponky managed a smile. “Er, hello everypony.”
Rarity rolled her eyes, before fixing Ponky with a dazzling smile. “Mister...?”
“Ponky is fine, but my name is Ponky Piano.”
“Mister Piano, I am Rarity.” Gesturing to each mare in turn, Rarity introduced her friends. “This is Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.”
Twilight smiled at Ponky, giving him a friendly wave. “Hello Ponky! It’s nice to meet you!”
Ponky smiled at the unicorn. “Likewise!”
Applejack stood up and grabbed one of Ponky’s hooves, beaming at him as she shook his hoof firmly. “Real nice t’ meet ya, Ponky. We’ve heard a lot about ya from Pinkie.”
Keeping his smile going, despite his discomfort, Ponky felt his hoof start to go numb from the vigorous hoofshake, “Well, don’t believe half of it. I’m probably twice as charming as what she makes me out to be.”
“Probably closer to four times,” chimed in Pinkie Pie, with a giggle.
As Applejack released his hoof—much to his relief—and returned to her seat, Ponky’s vision was suddenly filled with scarlet eyes. Ponky jerked his head back, bringing into view the sky-blue coat and radiant mane of Rainbow Dash. She grinned in a challenging manner at Ponky, her eyes narrowing a bit. “A pegasus, huh? How come I’ve never seen you doing weather work?”
Ponky replied, “I’m usually busy at the theater. I don’t get up into the clouds much... except for Wonderbolts shows, that is.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. “Oh, a fellow fan, huh? Who’s your favorite Wonderbolt?”
Hesitating briefly, Ponky finally lamely declared, “I just can’t choose!”
Excepting a rebuke, Ponky was instead met by a rather uncharacteristic squeal, as Rainbow Dash replied, “Neither can I! They’re all so awesome.”
Feeling like he’d just dodged a bullet, Ponky allowed himself to relax a little, smiling. “Yeah, for sure! They’re all great!”
Pinkie gave Ponky a tug, bringing him towards the table. Ponky sat down next to Pinkie Pie, between her and Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus hid behind her mane, glancing down towards the floor. Ponky smiled uncertainly at Fluttershy. “Er... Hi.”
“...Hi.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“...You too.”
Ponky glanced at the rest of the mares, who all shrugged in unison. He chuckled, sitting up a little straighter. Rarity, thankfully, broke the looming silence and impending awkwardness with a clap of her hooves. “So! Mister Piano, I’ve heard a lot about you from my younger sister, actually. She’s acting in the school play.”
“Oh?” Ponky smiled, intrigued. “What’s her name?”
“Sweetie Belle.”
His eyes widening in sudden recognition, Ponky laughed. “Oh! Wow! I totally see it, now. Of course she’s your sister!”
Rarity laughed demurely. “Oh, yes, there is certainly some family resemblance. I hope she’s not too much of a hoofful, though.”
Shaking his head emphatically, Ponky replied, “Not at all! She’s great. I got her to accompany me once when I was playing on the piano during rehearsal, and wow-wee. Your little sister has a big set of pipes!”
Rarity blushed. “Oh my, yes. She has a tendency to... carry on.”
Fluttershy giggled, suddenly joining in on the conversation. “She even sings lullabies loud.”
“Your little sis knows how to rock, Rarity!” crowed Pinkie Pie, laughing as she air-guitared wildly.
The mares and Ponky all chuckled. Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes in mock-distaste, a smile belying her true feelings. “We’ve all had a fair number of run-ins with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
“Oh, they told me about that the other day. I had to tell them the story of how I got my cutie mark,” said Ponky.
Applejack laughed. “You’ll have to excuse those girls, Ponky. Them fillies are curiouser than a bagful of cats.”
“I don’t mind at all. I think they’re great! I remember exploring my talents and trying to find what made me me when I was their age.”
“And what is your special talent, Ponky?” asked Rainbow Dash, sitting forward eagerly. “If you say ‘air racing’, I might have to challenge you.”
Pinkie pushed a hoof into Ponky’s muzzle before he could reply, silencing him. She smiled sweetly at the pegasus pony. “Allow me!”
Pinkie leapt up onto the counter, grinning eagerly, and gestured grandly to Ponky. “Fillies and gentlecolts! Mares of all ages! Feast your eyes on the forty-second wonder of Equestria: The Amazing Ponky!”
Confetti exploded from the ceiling, cascading down around Ponky, who blushed furiously. Pinkie leapt down from the table, picking him up and depositing him on his hooves. “He may look like an ordinary, super-skinny, hunk of a stallion, but beneath his modestly adorable exterior lies the heart of... a virtuoso!”
“Pinkie Pie, do you even know what ‘virtuoso’ means?” asked Twilight.
Pinkie shot Twilight a look. “Nevermind what it means! He’s got the best voice I’ve ever heard since that one time Fluttershy sang those baby birdies to sleep, and he’s like... twenty times louder! Plus, he plays the piano!”
The five mares looked impressed. Rarity chimed in, “Oh my, a true piano player? That takes a great amount of skill for somepony without... fingers.”
“The only being I know that can play the piano is Spike,” added Twilight.
Ponky smiled. “Yeah. It took a lot of hard work and practice, but I got good at it. My voice might be natural talent, but my piano skill took dedication and honest work.”
Applejack nodded appreciatively. “Now that’s somethin’ I can understand. High-falutin’ musical instruments aside, I like to see somepony workin’ hard to achieve what they want.”
Ponky smiled as the girls all chatted animatedly amongst one another about him. Pinkie Pie caught his eye and shot him a huge grin, before declaring, “I have to go to the little fillies room! Back in a minute!”
Ponky blinked and watched as Pinkie skipped upstairs. As she disappeared from view, Ponky noticed the room had grown quiet. He slowly turned his head back around, only to be met by five very serious faces. Rarity cleared her throat. “So.”
Ponky smiled nervously. “So?”
All five mares leaned forward, eyeing him critically. Rarity spoke. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, darling. You seem like a very nice stallion.”
“But Pinkie Pie ain’t just some regular pony. She’s our friend,” stated Applejack.
“Our very best friend,” added Fluttershy, still looking a little nervous.
Twilight smirked. “So far, you’ve been doing great. But, don’t think that we’re not watching you.”
“Judging you!” growled Rainbow Dash menacingly.
Rarity shot Rainbow Dash a look, and she chuckled, backing down a bit. “Okay, maybe not quite so harsh.”
Ponky stared at all of them, trying to keep his composure, his smile faltering. “I-I... uh...”
“We’re not done yet,” said Rarity, and Ponky shut his mouth, wings drooping.
“See, Pinkie Pie is special to all of us. We’re her closest friends, which means we have to look out for her,” said Twilight, pointing at Ponky. “You know she’s a little different, obviously. She’s a free spirit.”
“Almost like a child, in some ways, really. Innocent!” said Rarity.
“An’, most importantly, she’s a happy pony. An’ we like her to be happy!” Applejack said bluntly.
“So, uh, please don’t take this the wrong way. You seem nice,” murmured Fluttershy.
“But, if you hurt Pinkie Pie, or break her heart, well... you’ll be singing soprano for the rest of your life!” Rainbow Dash shot Ponky a fierce grin, a crazy glint in her eye.
Ponky silently tried to formulate some sort of a response, his entire body breaking out in a cold sweat, before he blurted, “But... I already sing soprano!”
All five mares glanced at each other, then burst out into laughter. Ponky stared at them, his mouth slowly hanging open as they laughed uproariously. Applejack wiped her teary eyes, chuckling. “Oh, sugarcube, you missed the point completely.”
Ponky’s brain finally kicked in, and he chuckled weakly. “I... I hear what you’re all saying. And I promise, whatever this is, it’s... well, I don’t know what it is. But I think you might have the wrong idea. I mean, I like Pinkie Pie, but I think we’re just friends, that’s all.”
The laughter stopped, and they all stared at Ponky. Ponky flushed under the increased scrutiny. Applejack and Rarity shared a glance, and Applejack muttered, “Ohhh boy, he’s a dense one.”
Ponky blinked. “What?”
Rarity trotted around the table to sit next to Ponky, and touched him lightly on the shoulder in an affectionate gesture. “Dear, you simply must see that Pinkie Pie likes you?”
Ponky shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s friends with everypony, right? How am I different?”
All the girls giggled softly, and Rarity said, “Mister Piano, Pinkie Pie talks about you all the time. More so than any other stallion in Ponyville.”
“Heck, she almost talks about you more than parties,” said Rainbow Dash. She held up a hoof, adding quickly, “Almost, anyway.”
Twilight said, “She even asked me about dating the other day.” She giggled, rolling her eyes. “Honestly. Asking me about dating!”
“Um, what we’re trying to say is... well... Pinkie Pie really likes you,” stated Fluttershy, smiling gently at Ponky.
Ponky felt his face grow hot, and stared at the girls, who all smiled at him warmly. “Oh. Oh... so... I mean, you’re sure?”
“She asked us to meet you, didn’t she?” said Rarity.
“Yeah,” replied Ponky.
“Well, accordin’ to our figgurin’, nopony asks her marefriends to meet a stallion unless she’s mighty interested in ‘em!” stated Applejack matter-of-factly, tapping her hoof on the table to emphasize her point.
Ponky chuckled. “Funny, my friends said the same thing.”
“I hope you’re done having super-duper-secret conversations, because I’mm baaaack!” Pinkie Pie bounced happily down the stairs, returning to her seat next to Ponky. Ponky glanced at her, noticing for the first time how she was sitting much closer to him than usual. He glanced at Rarity, who gave him a sly wink and returned to her seat. “So, what’cha’ talkin’ about? Oh! Was it ice cream? I love ice cream! Ponky’s favorite flavor is vanilla! Boooring! My favorite flavor is double-chocolate ice cream with sprinkles! Ooh! That gives me a great idea!”
Ponky said, without thinking, “You should bake a triple-layer coconut cake?”
Pinkie Pie stared at Ponky, eyes widening slowly, before poking him on the nose and grinning. “Yepperoni! Ponky, I swear, sometimes, I think you’re the only pony that understands me!”
Pinkie Pie hopped up, humming a tune, and disappeared into the kitchen. Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all glanced at Ponky, knowing looks on their faces. Ponky blushed, shrugging. “Okay, yeah. I’m a dense one.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Well, now that you’ve sorted that out... girls?”
They all dashed into a huddle, commiserating in hushed murmurs, before returning to the table. Rainbow Dash flew up over the table, getting right in Ponky’s face. “We’ve decided.”
Ponky swallowed hard. “And?”
“You’re good. Ask her out, stud!” Rainbow Dash said with a wink, and she slugged Ponky in the shoulder boisterously.
Ponky winced, rubbing his shoulder, and chuckled. “Oh. Well, that’s a relief!”
“You should take her to a air show!” said Rainbow, beaming at Ponky.
“Airshow? Why not for a walk in the park! There’s several varieties of local flora that are just coming into bloom, too,” chimed in Twilight.
“How boorish! A true gentlecolt would take her out for dinner,” Rarity said, sighing dreamily.
Ponky chuckled as the three mares discussed the perfect date, and Applejack addressed him directly. “What’d ya think, Ponky? Gonna do somethin’ nice for our Pinkie?”
“Actually, I was thinking of inviting her to see the play. It’d be fun!” Ponky smiled, pleased with himself.
“Oh, darling, that is a splendid idea!” agreed Rarity, beaming at Ponky.
“Romule and Fillyet. That’s one of Flankspear’s romantic plays! It’s sure to be a good choice!” said Twilight.
“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it. Purple Prose, our in-house writer, adjusted the work to be less violent for the foals. So now, instead of fighting, they throw pies!” Ponky said, laughing.
Applejack tipped her hat to Ponky in admiration. “Well, that certainly sounds like it’s right up Pinkie’s alley. Good thinkin’, partner.”
Ponky stood up, smiling at the five mares, his confidence bolstered. “Thanks everypony. If you’ll excuse me, I have a mare to ask on a date!”
Inside the kitchen, Pinkie Pie stood at the counter, humming and whisking a bowl of batter, holding the whisk in her mouth and her hooves adding in a cup of sugar and grated coconut. Her ears wiggled, and she squeaked and turned around as somepony poked her in the shoulder. Ponky grinned, pointing to her ears. “Your Pinkie Sense is getting slow!”
Pinkie spat out the whisk and giggled, “Uh oh. Looks like you broke me! That’ll be a costly tune-up.”
Ponky frowned. “Uh oh. I don’t have any money to pay for a tune-up.”
Rolling her eyes, Pinkie Pie said, “Silly, you don’t have to pay. I’ll just put it on your tab!”
“I have a tab?” said Ponky, chuckling.
Pinkie Pie nodded sagely. “Uh-huh.”
“How much?” he asked.
“Ten bits so far, but if you sneak up on me like that more, it’ll only get bigger!” She grabbed the whisk in her hooves, incorporating the coconut and sugar into the batter, before pouring it out into three waiting cake tins.
“Ten bits, huh? Wow, funny thing.”
“What’s funny?” Pinkie Pie crossed her eyes. “Do I have something on my face?”
Ponky laughed, smiling at her. “Nope! It’s funny, because a ticket to the show my theater is putting on costs ten bits.”
Pinkie Pie threw her head back, laughing hard for several moments before halting, mid-guffaw. “Oh, wait, hold on. What’s funny about that?”
“Well, I owe you ten bits, and the ticket for a pony to see the play costs ten bits. How about you come and see the show? I’ll bet you’ll love it!”
Pinkie beamed at Ponky, tousling his mane. “Aww, that’s sweet! Sure I’ll come to see the play! I was already planning on seeing it, since Rarity and Applejack’s sisters are in it, but now I’ve got an even better reason!”
“I’m a better reason than Rarity and Applejack?” asked Ponky, raising an eyebrow.
“No, silly! But you’re a better reason than going for the free pie.”
Ponky blinked. “We’re giving out free pie?”
“Are you kidding? I hear they’ll be throwing pie all over the place!”
“Oh. I guess that’s free pie.”
Pinkie Pie gave Ponky a sultry pout. “Think you can get me some leftovers?”
Ponky winked at her. “For you, Pinkie? Anything.”
Dropping the sultry look, Pinkie giggled. “Flatterer! What time?”
“Six ‘o clock!” said Ponky
“Okie-dokie-lokie! It’s a date!”
Ponky smiled. “Great!”
Pinkie pointed towards the kitchen door. “You’d better go entertain the girls, Ponky.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I think they got bored talking over at the table in the other room. They’re all listening at the door and trying to be quiet, and they’re really bad at it.”
From the other room came the sound of stumbling hooves and giggling, and Ponky smiled, “Yeah, okay, I’ll go talk to your friends more.”
Pinkie Pie cheered, “Oh good! So, you like them?”
“Of course! They seem like great friends.”
“They’re the best. Now, let Auntie Pinkie Pie work her gypsy baking magic, and I’ll be out in a jiffy!” Pinkie Pie turned on the ovens, adjusting the temperature and checking on the cake batter, humming a happy tune.
Ponky smiled and left the kitchen, returning to the table where all the girls sat, trying to seem nonchalant. Ponky eyed them. “Smooth.”
They all giggled. “How’d it go?” asked Applejack.
“We’re on!” squealed Ponky, and the girls all cheered.
- End of Chapter 2 -
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And the feel-goods continue
Good work on the dialogue, from what writing I've done, managing 6 characters in one conversation can be kinda daunting, but you pulled it off and made it seem quite natural. I can say for sure, that I am looking forwards to more
1743801
Cool! Glad you're enjoying it!
Yes, very natural. You have such a charm to your writing, and you make things so lung-stoppingly cute. Gaaaah, it's all so adorable! I just lurve it so much!!! And really, your characterizations of the Mane Six -- and me, for that matter! -- are dead-on, which makes this all the more delightful and thoroughly entertaining.
Also, I'm constantly impressed with your balance of making it a good story in and of itself, and tailoring it to me
like with "gypsy magic" -- which could be appreciated by everyone, but you know how much I love referencing Witchcraft -- and all the ridiculous compliments that fit the story way too well, and... well, you get it.
Again, I laughed aloud several times, and my heart is as warm as an 800 degree oven. Adorableness is a great way to start a day. Thanks again for being so quick about it without losing any quality!!
Great work. And the pie fights are going to be hilarious. I just know it.
Great chapter! I laughed so hard at the "Sometimes, you gotta write a pie fight" line I had to put my tablet down! I feel liker I can relate to that so much
. Keep up the great work 
!
Not bad. So far. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3682-1331715509946751.gif
1745416
The D'awwww shall never be stopped. It shall become an unstoppable force of cuteness and adorableness, the likes of which this world has never before seen. Feast your eyes anew upon this masterpiece, and tremble before its greatness.
1745223
Exactly.
1745380
TREMBLE, DANG IT!
1744575
"Sometimes, you gotta write a pie fight" is my new motto, lol
1745779
I approve!
Also, sorry if there's typos in my replies. Tablet likes to correct to random things sometimes.
awesome. its cute and funny. a very dangerous combination when done right.
It's been ages since I've read something to incredibly aw-shucks adorable. I cannot wait for more! Ponky Pie is best ship!
Friendship is witchcraft reference?
PiNKY PIe
PoNKY PIano
Niiiiiice