• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen August 25th

Dunsparce


Your Honor, the fish sticks are done!

E

Fourteen year old Spike has asked Applebloom on a date. The day? Hearth's Warming Eve of course!


I'm not really proud of this one, I just wanted to thank the Bronies for one year of pony fun, so I did nothing but a simple one-shot of my favorite ship. Whether you guys liked it or not, it's my little gift to you all. Happy early Hearth's Warming Eve!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 40 )

If anything concerns you guys, let Dunsparce know and he will fix it!

>to which she had excitedly agreed to.
You do not need two of "to", and there is a double space between "which" and "she"

>His body was warm from the sheer joy, and nervousness, this evening was ready to give him
Although it is not absolutely necessary, I think that this sentence would sound better as this:
>His body was warm from the sheer joy and nervousness that this evening was ready to give to him
Just a suggestion :moustache:

>a line of lights than ran across the ceiling
I have a feeling that you meant to put some other word, not "than" :rainbowwild:

1730461 Thanks for that feedback :twilightsmile:
Wrote this because Dunsparce felt like it at 12 AM.

1730461 By the way just a noob question but how did you comment on this before it was posted? It still says 15-75 min till posting :rainbowhuh:

This was really good :twilightsmile:
Wish it were longer tho:fluttercry:

'Mistlehoof'? Really?

Not every word needs to be ponified, especially if they end up being rather awkward to say.

1730934
I just have this image in my head of a cyborg pony rearing back, shooting a missile out of a foreleg. All hail Missilehoof!*

*batteries sold separately.

Oh my god that was so cute
Liked
Faved
Mustache :moustache:

t.qkme.me/3oin0m.jpg
Brohoof for making it MY favorite pair! :pinkiehappy: :heart:
/)
-Kiryu :moustache:

I smiled through out the story.
Cool story dude.:twilightsmile:

That was beautiful. Spikebloom is my favorite ship too.

1730934 Dunsparce understands, but that's how they would probably say it in the show, so... eh...

Awww, you guyz. Thanks so much for the faves and stuff :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

I like it, but don't you think it would of been better placed on hearts and hooves day.:twilightblush: Just Saying:moustache:

1731772 Yeah Dunsparce agrees but eh... Winter peacefulness is my thing and AB + Spike = my thing as well.

1731546
Well... it's a plant. And other creatures within the show still have toes, so I'm not sure it needed to be ponified.

1732537 Understood, but the story is over and... well... Dunsparce doesn't think its so big of a deal it needs to be changed.

1732947
Live and learn, then. I've had people get on my ass before about not ponifying some words, but there's some cases where it's just best to leave it as is.

Cool story bro.

1730492 :rainbowkiss:

1730502 I occasionally look for stories that have not been posted by changing the ID in the URL :moustache:

I like it I'm sure dunsparce is very proud of you:pinkiehappy:

Sooooooo cuuuuute!!!!!! :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritystarry::twilightsmile:

1792605 I know! I'm surprised it did this well considering I wrote this in about 1 hour or so :rainbowhuh:

braces and freckles TOO CUTE :heart:

1904450 Braces and freckles = cute in my eyes.

MORE I SAY, MORE!

2160075 IDK about that. More Applespike from me? Possibly.

2160088

This story is so well balanced that I'm surprised you are saying 'Possibly'. If you'd like some SpikeBloom stories to compare your work with, I can think of a few here on FiMfiction: 'Love Will Set You Free', 'Zestar Apple Flambe', and the sequel to the first, 'L'amore รจ femmina'. You should Check 'em out. Now please do start on more SikeBloom; it's getting hard to find well written CMC love stories, regardless of which one.

2160821 I only write them when they are teens. I find eight year old kids falling in love awkward. And, with all my love stories, they will all be in the dead of winter.

1731046

I was thinking more along the lines of a missile that is shaped like a hoof, kinda like this:

======/)

Brohoof me or DIE!!!

2161328

Most people do; 'Zestar Apple Flambe' actually fits both of your preferences in the first chapter, and escalates from there. Been a while since it updated though.

Far too soon, Pinkie. xDD Pretty sweet story.

This was sweet.

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