Closure
Closure
Life’s a lot more complicated than ‘happily ever after.’
I’ve been laying awake in my bed all night, as for the third time in a row rest proves elusive. It gives me a lot of time to ponder things like that, not that I ever seem to find any meaningful answers.
The sunrise is just peeking over the horizon. With a sigh, I admit defeat and get up to start yet another day. As I head downstairs I hear noises coming from the kitchen. Spike’s already up and about.
I walk into what can charitably be described as a disaster zone. Every pot and pan that I own is dirty in the sink or filled with some kind of batter or ingredients. The responsible party is the little purple dragon happily mixing away, pausing every few moments to taste something and sprinkle some spice or another into the concoction.
“Spike, what’s going on?” I ask.
He jumps a little at the sound of my voice before looking around. “Good morning Twilight! I was going to surprise you with breakfast when you woke up, so, uh, surprise?”
“That’s a sweet thought, Spike, but you do know that you’re cleaning all of this up, right?”
“Deal. Hey, wanna see a new game I made up for cracking eggs?” He picks up an egg from the countertop and stretches his arm as high as he can above the bowl. “You see how high up you can crack an egg and still get it to land in the bowl.”
I sigh and go over to the refrigerator to take out another basket of eggs, because I’m pretty sure I know exactly how this is going to end.
“Are you watching?” asks Spike. He squeezes his claw and rather than cracking gently and sliding into the bowl it explodes, covering Spike and the countertop with raw egg. Fantastic, what I really wanted to do today was disinfect my entire kitchen.
“Well that didn’t work.”
The basket of eggs I was carrying plunges to the floor and breaks open, forgotten. I can’t breathe all of a sudden, and I feel a chill pass over me. I’m too overwhelmed by a surge of irrational terror to think at all, and my whole world is spinning out of control.
“Twilight, are you OK? Talk to me,” says Spike.
It’s several minutes before I can say anything or do anything more than just stand there trying to pull myself together. “I’m fine Spike, just please don’t use that phrase again,” I say in a voice that communicates that I’m anything but fine.
I stare down at the eggs, broken and oozing all over the floor.
It’s been a long couple of weeks.
----------------------------
The night we used the Elements, the night I broke out of that Celestia-forsaken loop, I was on top of the world. My friends and I were back together and we all went straight to my Mom and Dad’s place for dinner. Mom wasn’t going to let a little something like a hostile army attacking the city wreck her dinner party, and everything was ready for us to sit down by the time we got there.
Before we did, I proposed a toast. To friends, to family, oh and by the way have I ever mentioned that I’m gay?
That made a few waves. My mother jumped up and rushed over to hug me, nearly making me spill my wine. I’m glad she did, because it gave everypony else at the table a moment to gather their thoughts and shut their gaping jaws. Once they got over their disbelief, they were quick to congratulate me as well. I can’t believe how terrified I had been of that moment for so long. Fear makes you do stupid things.
My parents and my friends got along just like I thought they would, although there was at least one moment where Rainbow Dash, after a couple glasses of wine, challenged my dad to a hoof wrestling contest... and won. She was actually pretty modest about her win, although modest for Rainbow Dash still means at least three victory laps around the house.
I wish that dinner could have gone on forever, but soon the day began to catch up with everypony and it became hard for them to stop yawning. Those things are seriously contagious. We all went up to the guest bedroom we’d be cramming into for the night. That’s when the real fun started.
Not that way! Get your mind out of the gutter.
We talked. Gossiped, really, and the main thing everypony wanted to know about was how my loops had worked, and what I had been doing. I steered well clear of some of the darker stuff, and stuck to the ones that had been goofy and fun. My story about the time I had blown up part of Canterlot Mountain and then ridden the resulting rock slide on a telekinetic surfboard was a popular favorite, as was the loop where I had played a rousing game of ‘stop hitting yourself’ with a restrained Queen Chrysalis. That was fun right up until the part where she had gotten loose and snapped my neck like a brittle twig.
The conversation eventually turned to suggestions about what I should have tried, from Monday-morning quarterbacking (“Dear, couldn’t you have found some sort of super changeling fighting spell in the archives somewhere?” Like I didn’t spend any loops looking for one. Come on,) to practical, down to earth suggestions (“Um... If it had been me I think I would have used some of the time to learn Prench. It’s such a beautiful language,”) to somewhat less than plausible (“Discord versus Sombra, cage match, winner takes all and you charge like a hundred bits for a ticket. Doesn’t that sound awesome?”)
We talked late into the night but one by one sleep claimed us, and I embraced my well deserved rest.
I didn’t wake up the next day until almost noon. I wasn’t the last one up either, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were still sound asleep as I crept out of the room and downstairs.
Mom and Applejack were in the kitchen doing some of the dishes that had been left out the night before. When Mom heard me enter she turned to greet me.
“Well good morning, sleepyhead. Your friend Applejack here was just filling me in on everything you went through during that dreadful time loop. I’m so glad you’re back with us all now,” she says. I’m suddenly glad that I kept the worst of it to myself, otherwise I’d be looking at a DEFCLOP 1 level maternal panic attack right now. The worst parts of the loops, how they made me feel, that’s something I won’t ever share with other ponies. “So, I guess you’ll be heading back home to Ponyville tomorrow? That was your plan, right?”
It had been, but plans change.
“I actually thought I might stick around for a few more days, what with everything going on around here. The Princess might need my help. And I’d really like to spend a little more time with you and Dad. I know that sometimes I get absorbed in my studies, and I haven’t always been the best daughter to you-” my heartfelt confession is interrupted as Mom sticks a scone in my open mouth. Mmm, raspberry.
“None of that now, Twilight. You’re absolutely perfect just the way you are and I won’t hear a word to the contrary. Of course you’re welcome here for as long as you’d like to stay.”
I really do have a stinging rebuttal about personal space and respecting me as an adult instead of sticking food into my mouth to make me stop talking, I swear I do. But it’s a really good scone, so instead I just smile and nod.
Applejack excuses herself from the room to wake up the others so we can make the most of what’s left of the day. She’s just a little bit misty eyed as she walks away.
Spike and I spend the afternoon giving the grand tour of the city to the others. For some reason, Spike vetoes my all museums all the time program and insists on planning the route himself.
My friends enjoy the afternoon, but they don’t know what they’re missing at the Canterlot Museum of Ancient Pottery Fragments. Soon enough, it’s time for them to meet their train back home. I’ll be joining them again before too much longer, but still squeeze each and every one of them a bit tighter than I have to when I hug them goodbye. The memory of losing them is just too fresh to do otherwise.
With my friends well on their way to what will hopefully be a completely uneventful train ride, I turn and head towards the palace. What I end up walking into is pandemonium. While I’ve been enjoying my friends’ company Celestia has been struggling to find a way for the city to absorb tens of thousands of changelings that the Elements transformed into ponies. I grab a passing bureaucrat and have them bring me up to speed. Most of the efforts seem to be focused on finding permanent homes for the new ponies out on the frontier, and then getting them there. The migration is going to take weeks, and those ponies have to stay somewhere in the meantime.
Not all of them want to go. Some of them took the forms of ponies who passed away, feeding off the residual love of families, widows, and widowers who couldn’t let go. For them, this is a dream come true for everypony involved. A second chance with the ponies they loved even if they aren’t really the same pony.
At the same time, since Celestia made her decree there’s also been a grassroots upwelling of protest. Ponies screaming once a changeling, always a changeling, Elements notwithstanding. Demands that ponies who had once been changelings be marked or branded somehow, so they could be identified on sight.
And caught in the middle, a group of confused and scared ponies who never asked for any of it.
Celestia catches sight of me, and beckons me over as she speaks to a minister of some department or another. I reach her just as she finishes speaking and dismisses him. “Twilight, are you free for the afternoon? I could use your assistance here.”
“Of course, Princess.”
“Good. I apologize for this in advance,” she says and moves a sheaf of papers twice as tall as I am over to us using her magic. It drops in front of me.
It’s menial forms and paperwork, thousands upon thousands of pages of it.
I love her so much sometimes, I don’t even know how to properly express it.
“You can count on me, Princess,” and she can. I find a little out of the way desk to work at and start processing the forms. Hours later it’s over too soon. I fill out the very last form in triplicate and crack my neck to one side. Leaving the last pages on the top of the stack in the desk’s ‘Outgoing mail’ box, I realize that the sun has gone down and there’s nopony else in sight.
Making my way through the palace, I happen to stumble upon Princess Luna heading from dinner to some other business elsewhere.
“Oh, hello Twilight Sparkle. I did not realize you were here,” she says.
“Princess, can we talk? Privately?” I ask. She nods and turns to lead me to a quiet room elsewhere in the palace.
“Um... Princess, I don’t really know how to say this. I mean it was kind of just a whim at first, but now I can’t stop thinking about the time... I mean it wasn’t an actual time because technically it never happened now, but-”
“Twilight, is this about how we slept together in the other timeline?”
My jaw drops. “Wait, but how could you... paradox... impossible... wibbly-wobbley...”
“I cannot see into the other timeline directly, if that is what you are trying to ask. However after everything that happened yesterday I was concerned about you, so I checked in on you overnight. Your dreams were... informative.”
Oh. Right. She can do that. I work my mouth trying to say something, but nothing comes out.
“Twilight, there is no shame in what we did. I looked like I was very much enjoying myself, and I’m certain you were as well from the way you cherish that memory,” she says. When I still don’t answer she gives me a soft smile. “Come over here, Twilight.”
I trot over to where she’s sitting and let her wrap me up in her legs and wings. This feels so good. I never want what I’ve seen happen to her to happen again. I hold on to her for a few minutes reveling in the sense of tranquility that’s been missing from my life for so long.
“Twilight,” Luna whispers to me, “do you think you’re in love with me?”
I pull back from her so I can look up into her face. She really is beautiful, and I remember how empty I felt when I heard she was gone. But at the same time...
“No.”
The bottom drops out of my heart as I say it, but it’s the truth.
“Thank you for being honest, Twilight. You are a beautiful, phenomenal mare and I consider it an honor to call you a friend. But loss, pain, and lust can cloud the mind to the truth in these matters. I am proud that you were able to see through that.”
“Please don’t die again, Princess,” I bury my face into her chest again as I start to sniffle. “I can’t handle losing anypony else again. I thought maybe if I fell in love with an immortal pony I wouldn’t have to worry about losing them but...”
“...but fear is no basis for such a wonderful thing as love,” she finishes for me. How am I ever supposed to find it, then? Fear and loss is all I can think of these days. I guess there’s nothing more to say. I turn to go and open the door.
“Twilight? One more thing,” Luna says and I stop to face her. “Even if it is not true love, you are still welcome in my bed any time. I’ll even provide the weather vane.”
I blush and let out a little *meep* sound and Luna laughs while I close the door behind me. It’s late and it’s been a turbulent day, but rather than using the quarters here at the palace I struggle through the long walk to my parents’ house. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t stay close to ponies who love me right now.
My parents are already in bed by the time I get home. I use the last of my energy to climb the stairs up to my old bedroom before I collapse on a bed that’s too small for a full grown mare. I’m supposed to be using the guest room, not my old bedroom. But right now I’m exactly where I want to be.
When I wake up the next morning and stumble downstairs, I find my parents both waiting for me.
“Twilight, we need to talk,” says Dad.
If there’s any phrase a parent can say that strikes more fear into a child’s heart, I don’t know what it is. Did they realize that I’m keeping things from them about the loops? Did they hear about Luna somehow?
“The Princess put out a royal edict this afternoon, asking for volunteers to quarter some of the ponies who used to be changelings. Just temporarily, while they find places to relocate them to. Your mother and I volunteered our guest room.”
Oh thank Celestia, it isn’t about anything that I... wait, WHAT?
“You’re taking care of a changeling? Why? I have told you about how many times they murdered me, right?”
“Well you did get better. Celestia says that they’re perfectly respectable ponies now, thanks to you and the other Elements. Besides, think about what a good example it will set if the Element of Magic and an ex-changeling are living under the same roof for a few days.”
I’m sure there’s a completely reasonable objection I could raise without sounding like I’m contradicting Celestia or being an intolerant bigot. As soon as I think of it I’ll stop standing there gaping like an idiot.
“He’s arriving this afternoon, if you want to help us get ready,”
“This afternoon?”
“That’s what I just said.”
My head is spinning. A changeling, or at least a former one, in my parents’ house. I mean, sure I was helping Celestia find homes for them only yesterday, but that was because none of those homes were my parents’ house.
“I’m gonna... I think I’ll... I need some air,” I say as I rush for the front door. I have to get out of here. I’m going for a walk. A very long walk. Mom and Dad don’t try to follow me.
It takes me eight blocks before I’ve even started to calm down. Why would they do this to me? Don’t they know how much those things put me through? Well, no they don’t because I’ve been careful not to tell them the worst of what happened to me. Shut up rational part of my brain, I’m trying to be indignant here!
I walk halfway across the city until I stumble upon the same park where Spike and I teleported during that loop where I stole the earring and went on a killing spree. Simpler times. What if I get one of the changelings I killed during that loop? Would they remember me? No, that’s ridiculous, but what if they do anyway? What if this was Chrysalis’ backup plan all along, revenge on me from beyond the grave?
Easy, Twilight. Are you listening to yourself? That’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. Not only that, but I can feel myself spiraling more and more out of control. Getting worse. No more of that. Hey, I suppressed something way bigger than this for years and that was probably healthy, right?
I wander a little further afield, trying to find something that makes my life make a little bit more sense.
I walk for hours, trying to stay ahead of my thoughts. I have an awfully quick mind though; I can’t outpace them. Everywhere I go, there they are. I thought a change of scenery might help me, but I’m coming to realize that I’m the problem. I fixed the whole world, fixed a whole kingdom, but never fixed myself.
As the sun begins to set I turn towards home. I’m tempted to just run for the hills, but if this changeling thinks he’s going to have free rein over my parents, he has another thing coming.
I arrive home about an hour so before when I know my parents will be having dinner. There’s a wagon full of stuff sitting out in front of the house bearing supplies marked with the Royal Canterlot Seal. The changeling must already be here.
I walk into the house, and the first pony I run into is Mom, helping to sort and unpack the boxes that have already been unloaded.
“Welcome home, Twilight.”
“Where is it? Where’s the changeling, Mom?”
“Twilight! Where are your manners? I’ve met him and he’s a perfectly normal pony. Be nice.”
“But... but he’s...”
“A good pony,” Mom insists, “we’ve been chatting with him, and he seems nice.”
He seems nice. Sure, that’s totally the standard you want to apply to a suspicious stranger who not two days ago was trying to invade your city and you’re now inviting into your home. I trot over towards the living area, and glance inside.
My father is helping the treacherous monster, who just happens to look like a completely ordinary orange pegasus with with some sort of candy shaped cutie mark, move his things into their home. My childhood home.
This will not stand.
“Oh, were you about to greet our new guest, Twilight?” says Mom’s voice from behind me. I forgot how sneaky she could be.
Dad and the thing that’s pretending to be a pony look up as she says it. So much for the element of surprise. “Hi Twilight, didn’t realize you were there,” says Dad.
I ignore him. I only have eyes for the changeling. “Have you met Butterscotch yet? Butterscotch, this is our daughter Twilight Sparkle.”
The thing calling itself ‘Butterscotch’ gets a good look at me for the first time, and freezes up. I knew it. That isn’t some pony greeting another. He knows that I know. And now I know that he knows that I know. “Hi,” is all he manages to say to me.
I walk up to him, and and thrust a hoof into his chest. “I know what you really are, and I’ve seen what your kind can do. You’re a monster. You always will be. You might have fooled my parents, but you haven’t fooled me.”
Butterscotch opens and closes his mouth a few times without saying anything.
“Twilight Sparkle! Get over here this instant, young lady!”
I glare at ‘Butterscotch’ for just a little bit longer before walking away to face my mother.
“I taught you better than that, Twilight. If I ever see you treat anypony like that again-”
“Mom! He isn’t a pony! He’s a changeling. He’s one of them. I’ve watched them murder ponies at the drop of a hat, mom, innocent ponies. Including me, if you even care.”
Mom doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead she looks at me. Judging. Evaluating.
“Twilight, have you told me everything about this time loop thing you were in? I’m starting to worry about you.”
I scream in frustration and retreat up to my bedroom. They won’t see. They won’t see how much danger they’re in and if, no, when something goes wrong I won’t be able to go back and save them. I can never go back again. I tried for so long to get out of that loop but I forgot how it felt to be constantly hurled ahead in time. How did I live like this?
Fifteen minutes later, my thoughts are interrupted by a pounding on my door.
“Twilight, dinner time,” says Dad.
As much as I want to ignore him, I won’t let my parents eat alone with some changeling. They might end up on the menu if I’m not there. Have to protect everypony from the monsters. Can’t rest, can’t rest ever again. If I do I might miss something and then who’s going to correct it? Nopony, that's who. The world is so full of darkness, I can only hold it back by never letting my guard down. How did I ever stand living like this, where everything I do is so bucking permanent?
I come downstairs to the dinner table where Mom, Dad, and ‘Butterscotch’ are all sitting waiting for me. I sit directly across from the changeling, the better to watch him. We begin eating. Mom’s gone all out today. Salad, three entrees, plenty of sides. It makes me sick the way she’s trying to impress the thing in front of me.
We eat in silence, which is just fine with me. I’m watching the changeling, and from the way his eyes dart over to look at me every few second I can tell he knows it.
“These potatoes are delicious, ma’am,” the changeling says. “Actually they kind of taste like hubris used to.” No sooner than the words leave his mouth does ‘Butterscotch’ realize his mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest that you or your family were-”
“Stop with the lies, you freak!” I shout as I put my front hooves up on the table and stand up on it. Proper etiquette is the last thing on my mind right now. “You recognized me the very first time you saw me, didn’t you? I could tell. What’s your plan? Are you still working for Chrysalis?”
“No! I swear I’m not, I want to put that behind me, really.”
“How do you know me?”
“Every changeling does!” he shouts. I back away, confused. “Back then, Geez it feels like it was a lifetime ago but when I was a changeling I was supposed to infiltrate the garment district. The original Butterscotch is a tailor who runs a shop there, I copied him.”
“That doesn’t explain how you know me.”
“I told you, every changeling would know you. I had standing orders to kill you on sight, OK? We all did. Of course I recognized you, Chrysalis burned your image into our brains.”
Mom and Dad are looking on, shocked. Dad’s fork hovers halfway between his plate and his mouth, forgotten bites of salad sliding off of it.
“I knew it. You are a monster. I’ll be doing the world a favor when I kill you,” I say and my horn starts to glow. All those loops gave me plenty of experience killing changelings, even when they look like ponies. Time to put it to good use.
“Twilight, I’m sorry. Please don’t kill me. I’m sorry, OK?”
“Sorry isn’t good enough! I watched ponies beg for mercy a hundred times and your kind never gave it to them.”
“Don’t! You don’t know what it was like to have the queen in your head. She was too strong. We didn’t have any choice. You don’t know what it felt like to be controlled like that!”
I stop, my horn still glowing, deadly blast of magic ready to be unleashed.
I do know what that feels like. The memory can’t be suppressed, and I remember what it was like after she bit me. How she made me fight Luna. How she made me scream with joy at being ripped apart by the Princess’ dark power because I was doing my Queen’s will.
I cancel the spell and dash for the bathroom, only barely reaching it before a wave of nausea catches up to me.
When I come back out, I’ve purged all that bile and hatred and I just feel hollow. I look down at Butterscotch, cowering on his knees terrified of me. I don’t see a monster in disguise any more. Just a pegasus trying to navigate a world that’s suddenly been turned upside down for reasons he doesn’t understand.
I gather all my courage for what I know I have to do. It isn’t going to be easy.
I lean down. I embrace him.
I forgive him.
I had no idea how full of anger I was until I feel it leaving me in that moment.
He flinches the moment I take him in my arms, and I can’t really blame him after the way I’ve treated him.
I hold him for quite a while. Mom and Dad are still watching from the table. I think they’re afraid that if they move they’ll break the spell of the moment.
“You know,” I say without letting go of him, “full disclosure, if you were in the garment district there’s a better than even chance that there’s a timeline out there where I beat you to death with a baseball bat the other day.”
Then the most wonderful thing happens. Butterscotch starts to laugh. Maybe just because it’s such an absurd thing to say he can’t help it. Maybe because he’s so tired of being sad and afraid he’ll take any excuse to feel something else.
Either way it’s contagious, and before long we’re both laughing together and hugging earnestly. We needed that more than either one of us would have been willing to admit. By the time we pull apart, I’m happy to count him as a friend.
---------------------
I’m glad to be going home to Ponyville this evening.
Not that I haven’t loved being here and seeing my parents again, but it’s not home in the same way Ponyville is. Not anymore.
I’m in the middle of packing up my things with Spike’s help when he hiccups and coughs out a burst of green fire. A letter materializes in the air above me, and I snatch it before it can hit the ground.
My Faithful Student,
I have been looking into the spell which created that time loop and I have made a significant discovery. Please report to my study immediately
Princess Celestia
“Spike! Forget packing, we have to go to the palace right this instant,” I say. Who knows what sort of discovery the Princess could have made.
Spike isn’t quick enough for my taste, so he ends up wrapped in my magic being dragged along as I run out the door.
“Mom, Dad, I’m going to see Celestia,” I call out before I remember they went out to lunch an hour ago.
I make record time running to the palace, and head straight for the Princess’ study. When I push open the door, the room is dark. That’s odd. The letter said to come here right away. I figured she would be-
“SURPRISE!”
The lights suddenly come on, and the room is full of ponies. My best friends, Princess Celestia, and my parents are front and center. Draped over them is a banner that reads THANK YOU TWILIGHT.
I’m too surprised to move for several seconds, but then it dawns on me what’s happening and I can feel my mouth pull itself into an irresistible grin.
“You guys! You didn’t have to-”
“Try being immodest for once in your life, Twilight. You've earned it, and we wanted to,” says Rarity.
“Well thank you,” I say. This sure beats another stained glass window. I look around. Even Butterscotch is here, and he raises a glass of punch to me in acknowledgement when we make eye contact.
“Present! PRESENT!” shouts Pinkie Pie.
“You got me a present, too?”
“Oh, um, well I thought we were saving that for the end but if you want to open it now...” says Fluttershy, hovering forward holding a little box in her hooves.
I didn’t even know they made Element of Harmony themed wrapping paper.
Pinkie is vibrating with excitement. I’m afraid that if I don’t open the present now she may actually start to drill her way into the floor. I shred the wrapping paper with my hooves rather than just ripping it off with magic. It’s a jewelry box. A ruby red one.
I know what this is, or at least what I hope it is. For just a second I don’t dare to open it, but I can’t resist for long.
The perfect amethyst earrings. My perfect amethyst earrings.
“I can’t accept these. They cost-”
“Significantly less than it would have cost to rebuild the city had you not stopped the changelings. I’m sure the royal coffers will manage,” says Celestia.
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you Princess. Umm... you didn’t tell Ruby about the timeline where I stole these, did you?”
“The timeline where you did what‽” asks Ruby’s voice from the back of the room.
Smooth, Twilight. Really smooth.
“We gotcha a little something too, sugarcube,” says Applejack. She holds out their gift. There’s a ribbon tied around it, but they haven’t bothered to wrap it.
After all, a baseball bat has a pretty distinctive shape.
I laugh and they hoof it over so I can get a better look. They even had the words HOME RUN burned into the wood.
“You do realize that now you have to learn how to actually play baseball, right?” asks Rainbow Dash. “Oh, and your Mom said I was supposed to tell you not to threaten Butterscotch with it.”
We laugh again and the party moves into full swing. My first priority is finding Ruby and apologizing. She’s a little annoyed, but it was in another timeline and she just got paid a pretty nice sum of money for the earrings in question so it doesn’t take much before she waves it off and forgives me. She helps me put in the earrings and Rarity is at my side in an instant to evaluate how they look on me. Of course she’s gushing with compliments.
I introduce Ruby and Rarity to each other, and Rarity knows a networking opportunity when she sees one. They start talking shop while I move on to speak to the other guests. How much everypony else knows about the time loops varies. I was straightforward with the official story, although Celestia requested I not disclose how the loop began. I’m peppered with questions and requests for stories all afternoon.
Finally, I find a quiet moment to make my way over to Princess Celestia.
“Hello, Twilight. Enjoying the party so far?” she asks.
“I am, Princess. I know that what you wrote in that letter was just to lure me over here, but have you made any progress on figuring out what that spell was? Or why Starswirl was researching it in the first place?” I ask.
“As far as I can tell, it was never meant to be cast. He meant it as a theoretical exercise, purely academic. It is far too dangerous to be put back in the library. I have copied the mechanical details into a new text, one with clear warnings. But I am now certain that you are outside of the loop.”
“Starswirl couldn’t possibly have known the Elements would break the loop.”
“There is no mechanism within the spell itself to end the loop. Whatever killed you, be it injury, disease, or even old age would have returned you to that fixed point. I will not lie to you Twilight, you would have gone mad. Eternal life is not something mortal minds are designed to handle.”
I sit down and think about the implications of that. How close I came. “Good thing I’m a bearer, then. What are the odds?”
“Perhaps not as long as one might think. Most unicorns would not be able to cast that spell at all. Starswirl took up the Element of Magic for a time back in his day, you know.”
“He what? I’ve read everything there is on Starswirl the Bearded, and none of it ever mentioned that.”
Something inscrutable passes across the Princess’ face. “No, they wouldn’t. The two of you were alike in many ways. Much more alike than you think actually. Perhaps I am being overly poetic, but he may have been watching over you in some way through the Elements.”
“Watching over me? More alike than I think? What do you mean, Princess?”
That unreadable smile again. “A story for another time, I think. Luna would tell it better than I would anyway. I feel like some punch, would you like me to get you any?”
I shake my head and she walks away. Those sorts of conversations with the Princess always seem to leave me with more questions than answers.
The party winds down not long after, and I have to say goodbye to everypony so I can finish packing. My friends and I are all on the same train car home so we have a chance to chat a bit more intimately. It’s been months from my perspective since I last saw Ponyville. As we get closer I realize there’s something I want to clear up before we arrive.
“Girls, I would really appreciate if you would keep what I told you about me liking mares under wraps for the time being. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it, but being out is sort of new to me and I want to tell ponies at my own pace.”
All five of them suddenly go rigid, glancing back and forth between one another. No. They wouldn’t. I turn towards the worst liar of the bunch.
“Applejack...”
She gulps and her eyes go wide, “Hey there, Twi. Was there somethin’ you wanted to talk about?”
“Applejack, did one of you tell somepony what I said to you?”
She doesn’t answer for a second or two and I can see her wracking her brain to come up with something. Her face lights up as she hits on an idea.
“Twilight, ah can honestly say not one of us told a single pony.”
There’s a loophole. I can tell and she knows it. I try to stare it out of her but it’s Fluttershy who breaks down crying first.
“Oh, Twilight, I’m so sorry! I swear it was an accident. Please don’t hate me forever!”
“Fluttershy, you told somepony?” I ask. Fluttershy isn’t a gossip, especially not with something she must have known was important to me. I might have expected Rarity to spill the beans, but Fluttershy...
“I didn’t tell anypony. But, you know sometimes when it’s just me and my little critter friends around the cottage I like to chat and tell them all about my day. I told them without thinking. I’m such a terrible friend!”
I relax. How can I stay mad at a crying Fluttershy? I’m sure I’ll be able to handle being the talk of the bunny warren for a few days.
“Don’t worry Fluttershy, if it’s just your animals-”
“I, um, forgot to mention that I was parrot-sitting for Rose at the time.”
Oh. That’s how.
“Rose found out I’m gay from her parrot?” I ask. I’m running through damage control in my head. Rose is a good pony, and I know her circle of friends pretty well. There’s a chance I can still salvage this.
“Well, I didn’t know the parrot was going to repeat what I’d said, of course, and Rose is a busy pony who lives pretty far away so when I was returning the parrot it made sense for us to meet, um, at the market, on the busiest day of the week, in the middle of the morning when everypony comes out to do their shopping.
I sit there and stare. The train is slowing down as it arrives at the station.
“So let me get this straight,” I say as my eye begins to twitch. “You’re saying that I was outed... to the entire town... by a parrot.” I wonder if the time looping spell would have covered dying of embarrassment. Too late to find out now.
“Sorry.”
My first instinct is to start screaming and ripping into her, Fluttershy or not. Her carelessness just exposed my most personal secret to the entire town.
You know what though? Maybe it’s better this way.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say and get up to start collecting my luggage.
“I know you must be so mad at me, if you want to scream at me or not be my friend anymore-”
I raise a hoof to cut her off. “Maybe I should be mad, and I guess I am a little, but this is fine. It’s like ripping off a bandage. This way everypony knows and if they have a problem with me they can just deal with it.”
We get off the train and sure enough I find myself on the receiving end of some curious looks, and ponies whisper to one another as I pass by. Some of the looks are more than just curious, and those tend to linger a bit longer. Maybe I should be taking notes.
Ponyville is a pretty open minded town and though a few ponies wave and say hi nopony stops me and Spike on our way to the library. It looks like nopony is going to make a big deal out of this after all.
“Hi, Twilight! Hold up,” a voice from above me causes me to stop and look up at the descending fuschia pegasus.
So much for that.
“Hello, Cloud Kicker,” I say, greeting the town’s self-described lovable sex maniac. Just the pony I least needed to see right now. My front door is within sight, too.
“I heard the news. I just wanted to say...” Ugh. Here it comes. “...thank you.”
“Huh?”
“I heard all about what you did in Canterlot, with the changelings and everything. I have family in the guard, and if it weren’t for you some of them would be dead right now. Plus from what I heard about the time loops, you must have gone through a lot. You’re a hero, Twilight. So I wanted to say...” Cloud Kicker snaps into a sharp salute “...thank you.”
Wow, that’s the longest I’ve ever seen Cloud Kicker talk without hitting on somepony. Maybe I’ve misjudged her, she might actually be a decent pony when she drops the act.
“You’re welcome.”
“Well, I know it’s kind of late and you must be eager to get home and unpack. I won’t keep you,” she lifts her foreleg and bumps my front hoof.
I continue on, with a lot to think about.
“Hey, Twilight?”
“Yeah Cloud Kicker?”
“Do you think we’ll be banging later this week, or not until next week? I know how far in advance you like to schedule things”
There’s the Cloud Kicker I know.
“Just because I like mares doesn’t mean I’m desperate. I have a baseball bat and I know how to use it.”
“I know a lot of ways to use a baseball bat too, and I bet my ways are a lot more fun than yours.”
My face goes red. Cloud Kicker trots over and puts an unwelcome hoof over my neck like we’re chummy, all the time wearing that smug grin of hers.
“Think about it Twilight, who knows more about hitting on the mares in this town? Think about how much you’d learn if you let me take you under my wing? Or take you in any other sense of the word? I thought you liked learning. I could name four, no, five mares who would roll over for you in a heartbeat, once you learn how to ask.”
“Not interested.”
“At least let me tell you the best part before you say no,” says Cloud Kicker.
“Oh, hey Twilight,” comes a new voice from behind me.
I turn to the other pegasus. “Hi Cloud Kicker,” I say and turn back to Cloud Kicker who’s still got her foreleg over my-
Wait.
Back up.
Cloud Kicker, the one hanging on to me, is grinning like an idiot. I look at her. Then I look at the other Cloud Kicker, who’s waving and wearing the same idiot grin. Then back at the first one as my brain struggles to come to terms with a universe where this can be happening.
“Oh, Celestia. There are two of you now.”
“Isn’t it awesome? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised a changeling would borrow the shape of the most lovable pony in town, right? And then when you did your thing with the Elements, well...”
I saved Equestria. I broke out of a time loop where I died in a multitude of brutal and horrible ways. I stopped a war before it started.
If this is the price, it wasn’t worth it.
“So you see? We both really owe you big. There was this really impossible decision I’ve been trying to make for months that just got way easier. Oh, and tell me to go buck myself. I have an amazing retort for that now.”
I scream and sprint for my front door.
---------------
Over the next couple of days, life slowly drifts back towards something resembling normal. Ponies come by to see how I am and check books out from the library. My schedule has fewer and fewer blank spots each day as friends make plans and errands that need to be done crop up. An outside observer would think that I'm doing remarkably well, all things considered.
They would be wrong.
I can't get used to the way things keep happening. Not even bad or weird things, just things like a casual conversation on the street corner with an acquaintance fill me with anxiety.
I can't handle not knowing what's going to happen. After all the loops I went through that I could predict down to the second, I can't handle surprises anymore. I agonize over simple choices because whatever I choose can never be undone.
I'm afraid of Pinkie Pie. Terrified of her. I'm afraid of one of my best friends because whenever I'm around her I feel like I have to be constantly on edge, vigilant against her usual random and harmless antics. I hide how I feel from her and she hides how hurt she is when she notices anyway.
I'm spending more time at Fluttershy's than I used to. I like how serene it is, how nothing really happens. It's... nice.
All that would be bad enough even without the nightmares.
All the dark things I saw or felt that I never talk about come back to me then, when I manage to sleep at all. And my brain is ever so proactive at thinking up new ones too.
One night I dreamed that everypony in town was infected with that mind venom. Not changelings, my real friends who the Queen knew I would never raise a hoof against. I dreamed they chased me until the caught me, and whispered in my ears how good it would feel to serve the swarm as they dragged me before Chrysalis. I woke up screaming just as her fangs came down to break my skin.
Another night I dreamed I was waking up hanging in a changeling cocoon in the ruins of Canterlot Castle. That everything up until now had just been some dark escapist fantasy they fed me while they drained me dry.
If Luna hadn't shown up and told me it was a dream, I truly believe I would have lost my grip on sanity that night.
Maybe I really did, because I actually took Cloud Kicker up on her offer to teach me how to flirt. That only lasted about ten minutes before I remembered why I had turned her down to begin with, but it's not a good sign. Am I going to end up hopping from bed to bed, not because I'm looking for love but because I'm desperately afraid of being alone?
So by the morning I'm standing in my kitchen having a panic attack because of four little words from Spike, it's pretty obvious that I'm at the end of my rope.
I stare at the broken basketful of eggs for a long time while I recover from that freak out, long enough to take in every detail. Eggs are actually pretty interesting, structurally speaking. They're basically domes, and considering how flimsy the material of their shell is they can resist an impressive amount of compression. That's what they're best at; protecting their precious cargo from the constant, steady, crushing weight of the world around them.
Hit them with a sharp, violent trauma though? Well, the yolk and bits of shell in my coat speak for themselves. My telekinesis does fine manipulations pretty well. I think I could put a broken eggshell back together, fit the pieces together so tightly you would never suspect it had broken at all. It wouldn't be an egg any more, though. Just a dead and hollow shell.
"I didn't sleep well, Spike. I'm going to wash off and go crawl back into bed."
"Twilight, what's wrong? You have to talk to somepony about this."
"Talking isn't going to help, Spike. I'm just broken. I'll see you later."
I run the shower until the hot water is all gone, standing there and letting it beat down on my neck and back until I can't stand the cold. I get out and towel myself off. It takes me a few more minutes of sitting there alone on my bath mat just to work up the energy I'll need to drag myself across the hall to my bedroom.
When I walk out of the bathroom I find five ponies standing on my landing.
"What are you doing here so early?" I ask, resenting the intrusion.
"I asked them to come," says Spike. "You're really scaring me, Twilight. Ever since we got back from Canterlot you haven't been yourself. You haven't written a friendship report in weeks, you hardly ever even read any more, and when I wrote a letter to the Princesses, Luna told me you've been having horrible nightmares."
She told them about my dreams? That was way out of line.
"We aren't leaving until you talk to us, really talk. Consider this an interval," says Rainbow Dash.
"The word is intervention, dear," says Rarity.
"One of those then."
This is stupid. They don't know what they're asking for. It's for their benefit I'm not talking to them. They were lucky enough that they only remember charging in at the last moment and making everything better. I don't want to take that away from them.
"You're better off not knowing. I'm sure I'll be fine eventually. I was fine in Canterlot, right? We had fun there."
"Or perhaps you were fine because we were having fun, and since we're home it's only now hitting you in its full force," says Rarity.
Rainbow Dash must have decided this wasn't working quickly enough, because a multicolored streak descends on me and lifts me off the ground.
"Hey!"
"You're the one who decided she wanted to do this the hard way. I told you we weren't leaving."
She brings me down to the main sitting area and sits on my back. I try to struggle out from under her but it’s no good. The others come down the stairs and sit in a semi circle where I can see them.
“If you want to have a conversation this isn’t the best way to get me to cooperate, you know,” I say.
“Well, if you won’t talk to us will you please at least listen?” asks Fluttershy like I have a choice in the matter. “If you don’t mind I have something I’d like to say and I think the others might too.” They all nod. “I guess I’ll go first. Twilight, you know I love having you over to my cottage, and you’re always welcome there.”
“That’s right, I’ve come to visit you a lot since Canterlot. See? No problem at all.”
“Well, uh, no Twilight that’s just it. Sometimes when you’re over you do things that, well, they scare me a little bit. Sometimes you just sit in my rocking chair and stare at the wall for hours, or I’ll call your name and it takes four or five times for you to notice. Or when I try to tell you that it’s getting late and I need to go to bed but you just won’t leave, although I guess that one might be my fault if I’m not being clear enough, I suppose.”
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I just have a lot on my mind right now. That’s all.”
“Oh, Twilight,” she says. She lowers her belly to the ground and scootches forward so I have nowhere to look but her face. At least it isn’t her weapons-grade stare. “Do you think that I, of all ponies, don’t recognize a mare who’s hiding herself away from the world when I see her? You’re acting like, well, me actually. The me from before I met you who was scared of everypony she met. That me wasn’t ever very happy, and I don’t think you’re very happy right now either. You’ve helped me so much, Twilight, please let me return the favor now and help you.”
“That’s... Thank you Fluttershy. If I thought that you could help I wouldn’t hesitate to ask you, I promise. But this isn’t something anypony can help me with. I just have to take care of myself right now.”
“Oh please, you call this taking care of yourself?” asks Rarity. Fluttershy moves aside to give her center stage. “You are a mess, Twilight Sparkle, and make no mistake about it.”
“Well, I just got out of the shower and I haven’t really had the chance to-”
“That isn’t what I’m talking about and you certainly know it. I suppose the nightmares would explain the bags under your eyes and how bloodshot they are, but your mane looks like it hasn’t seen a brush in days. I don’t think you’re eating properly either are you?”
“I guess I might have put on a couple pounds, but it isn't a big deal. I hadn't even noticed,” I say. That isn’t true. Since I started avoiding everypony else I've definitely stopped thinking about what I was eating, and just started using food to mark the passage of time. There's been a distinct decrease in quality coupled with a distinct increase in quantity.
“Not a big deal my flank! You’re positively bulging at the seams. Not to mention how greasy your coat's gotten. You can't expect your body to recover if you aren't giving it the right fuel to recover with, Twilight. Not to mention that you’ve blown off three of my invitations to the spa in a row. Otherwise you could be getting a massage while we talked about this.”
A massage certainly would beat being pinned to the floor and lectured at like this. “Fine. I promise to take better care of myself, alright? Are we done now?”
“Ah think not, Twi. Pinkie Pie, why don’t you go next?” asks Applejack.
I hadn’t really taken a good look at Pinkie Pie before now, but now that I do I’m alarmed by what I see. The smile I’ve never seen her without is gone, and her whole demeanor is subdued. Even her mane is looking a bit flat and lifeless. She nods to Applejack and after a moment’s hesitation steps forward.
“Twilight, why don’t you want to be my friend anymore?” she asks.
“What? Pinkie, of course I’m still your friend,” I say.
“Yeah, but you don’t really want to be. Whenever I come up and talk to you, or try to give you a present or even just a hug you look at me like I’m some kind of freak. Like I’m scary and you can’t wait to run away from me. Why? Did... Did I do something horrible to you in one of the time things you don’t want to tell me about? Because if I did then I am so super sorry.”
“No, of course you didn’t Pinkie. You never did anything like that, and I know you never will,” I say. Have I really been this awful to all of them?
“Then why are you scared of me? I watched you march right up to Queen Chrysalis and not be afraid. You were super duper brave and awesome and she must have done all sorts of bad stuff to you. What did I do that could scare the pony who was brave enough to face that? Why am I so much worse than she was? I don’t understand.”
“Pinkie, it’s... complicated.”
“THAT ISN’T A REASON! We aren’t stupid, Twilight! Maybe we aren’t super duper smart ponies like you but don’t tell us that we’re too stupid to understand why you hate us all of a sudden and then act like it’s a reason why you don’t have to explain. That isn’t fair. You’re not being fair to us, Twilight. We just want to go back to the way things were before."
I don’t get a chance to answer her before she runs away to find a corner of the library. Fluttershy flashes me a dirty look before she goes to follow her, and soon I hear quiet sobs coming from somewhere I can’t see. This is never what I wanted, damn it. I’m trying to protect them, not this.
“See why we’re doin’ this, Twilight? We want to understand, butcha gotta meet us halfway. Just tell us what happened, what’s eatin’ at you so bad. Do ya really think any of us would think less of ya?” asks Applejack, moving in for the kill.
“....I can’t. It hurts too much, Applejack. Please, it hurts so much. Don’t make me tell you. It’s better this way, if I’m the only one who hurts. I can protect you from what I saw. What I felt.”
Applejack scoffs. “Twilight, stop talking. For sure stop overthinkin’ everything, just for one second.”
We both go quiet. All I can hear is Pinkie crying, her sobs echoing through the now-quiet library. We sit there in silence for a bit, and the more I hear the more I want to burst into tears along with her. Just when I can’t feel any worse, Applejack speaks up.
“How’s it sound like you’re doin’ at protecting your friends from gettin’ hurt?” she asks.
That’s all I can take. I finally break, complete with undignified snotty tears and heaving sobs. Rainbow Dash must have moved off of me at some point because Applejack is able to pull my limp body up against her, and I lay there against her until I’ve cried myself out. By the time I have, all of my friends have gathered around me, ready to listen to what I have to say whenever I’m ready to tell them. I guess they’ve always been ready.
“I’m sorry. I was so alone. Every time. I always felt like I was so horribly alone,” I say, as if that should excuse how awful I’ve been.
“Hey, you can’t be saying you think I’d ever ditch a friend who needed me. Not cool, Twilight.”
“Indeed, you’re hardly alone anymore, darling.”
“It’ll be alright. If, um, if you want somepony to help you, I’m here for you for as long as you need me.”
“I’ll help too! We’re gonna make you feel all better again and then throw a huge-o-mungus party to celebrate!”
“Heh, sounds like ya couldn’t get rid of the five of us even if ya tried, sugarcube.”
I don’t want to try. I’d almost forgotten what being at peace was like.
“I’m not actually sure how to start,” I say.
“Well, isn’t that obvious?” asks Rarity. “All you have to do is go back and start from the beginning again, one more time. We'll be with you every step of the way."
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TWO CLOUDKICKERS!?!
WE DECREE THAT THE SEX HATH BEEN DOUBLED!!!!!
:3 I'd rather not.
OH GOD WRITE THIS PLZ D: YOU GOTTA WRITE THIS!!! ;______;
..And the sound of my jaw striking the earth was as unto the fist of a god smithing a heretic... D:
Bravo. Bravo I say! :D
Well no true Twiluna, but sexytimes instead. I can deal with that. Two Cloud Kickers could solve so many problems in the Winningverse. I'm glad you released this, and explored the mental problems of the time loop. This story is much better for it.
Bloody brilliant!
Damn it Cloud Kicker! Yeah, we all know that CK would totally bang herself if a changeling agreed to copy her. Also, I agree this conclusion wraps up nicely. Damn Celestia with her cryptic crap. Typical.
“Well, isn’t that obvious?” ask Rarity. “All you have to do, all you’ve ever had to do, is go back to the beginning and start again.”
Someone just slap Rarity.
Poor choice of words there, Rarity.
This chapter alone just bumped the story up a couple notches from pretty okay to I WANT SOME MORE. And if I could give any story an extra thumbs-up, this would be one of them.
This is how you close a story up.
Yeah, I think Rarity may have said the wrong thing. Cue Twilight going back in time to... Iunno, become Starswirl? Create the Elements? Make herself into the Element of Magic so she can survive to present day? Take all of them back, take a couple of levels in badass during the Dark Ages, then literally become the Elements?
Hell, I'd read it.
That said, I do like the exploration of the mental effects of a time-loop. I do believe the effects became a bit pronounced due to the extremely short length, though. Three hours isn't enough for anything resembling the butterfly effect to take place.
Haha this is a great story! I love this ending better than the second one just because I like happier and more story book endings. But I still love the second ending too! Great job and I hope to read more from you!
Have a mustache!
Excellent. This is exactly the ending this story needed. Oh, there's still plenty of potential for more here, but this story? It's done. You can always write a sequel to this if you like, but you've done this ending proud. Very, very nice work.
Two thumbs up, and I'll be on the lookout for anything else you write.
One of the best surprises I've ever gotten! Thank you!
I demandI politely request a sequel, if it's not too much trouble.
After reading the previous chapters, I even got to thinking about the effects a time loop would have on someone, and working through the fallout promises to be a smashing good bit of literature.
Annnnd foreshadowing that may never come to fruition. Will we ever know the secret of Starswirl the Bearded?
An excellent end. I enjoyed the last chapter immensely, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying as this. This chapter also gives us an interesting look at how your psychology would change after all that looping. Honestly never considered that aspect before, and I'm happy to have now
*Parrot*: TWILIGHT'S GAY!!!!!
Dat final line... Man, I didn't think this story would get any more tears out of me... I was wrong
We'll bang, okay?
*applauds*
Much, Much, MUCH better.
I'm a tad jealous of the Mane 6 though... They get to hear more about the story.
But still. A MUCH better ending. Brilliant.
Thank you so much.
*squee*
This was an amazing story
2 Cloud Kickers......... the worlds not ready~!
I do not think this is forgivable.
Touching....
This is great, and does just what the chapter's title promises; I'd just like to know one more thing:
What happened to the Changelings that weren't transformed into a pony at the time? Butterscotch reveals it was the queen's control that made the Changelings as they were, so (I'm guessing) they should be capable of the same "equine decency" as their permanently transformed fellows, yet the question remains...
So, to reiterate, even though I might fear the answer, what happened to them?
There is only one GIF that sums up my appreciation for this.
gifs.gifbin.com/1237811519_chuck-norris-approves.gif
----
You know, I've studied Groundhog Day, The Best Night Ever, Hard Reset, and that one Improv Everywhere video, but I still can't seem to get this time loop figured out. You've got about... 6 hours to help, until the moon explodes. Anyone know where I can get a Saturn V rocket at this time of night?
*yawn* the ending was alright I guess, it was enough to keep me awake till 11:00.
...
Two Cloud Kickers.
Well at least it isn't two Pinkies.
Though the world is rather bucked now. Yes I know what I said, and I have spy-proof Auto Cannon Turrets primed for firing.
Amazing conclusion
TWO Cloud Kickers?
Poor Blossomforth.
2040941
Yeah, but it'll be a very experienced bucking.
This chapter turned this from a fun story that I'll chuckle at the unique concept as I pass by to a story of almost unparralleled merit that will resonate and be remembered. This chapter covered the now fractured psyche of twilight in a most convincing and through manner, from the trigger phrase of spike , to the questions of authenticity of the world as seen to the most interesting and unusual problem that is not readily apparent, which is her now inability to make choices with not knowing exactly what is going to happen and her paralysis at making any decision without the security afforded by the time loop.
I am somewhat sad now this story is ending because there is easily another 1 or 2 chapters dealing with her reintegration into a chronologically continuous society with the help of her friends and their reactions during the story but on the other hand its interesting for the reader to think of what their reactions during and after the telling of the true story of the time loops (sans that Luna bit) would be. Now granted this could be entirely to much self-referential navel gazing but I believe you have the writing ability if you so choose.
Otherwise this chapter elevates the entire story to a much higher tier of story, that which sticks with the reader without prompt and is therefore truly memorable.
I think you could most likely do one more good chapter simply on Twilight getting back into the swing of things, and maybe even getting a marefriend, just so we don't have to end it on....that line
Best. Line. Ever. Seriously, that's just one of the funniest things I've ever read.
I dunno if it's just me...but personally this is the "Darker" ending, NOT the "Alternate/Dark Ending". That or maybe it's just a lot more sad/depressing. Like this one leaves on such a sad note, but at least the one where Twilight becomes Queen of The Changelings we get a twisted sort of uplift at the end.
2040895 Disintegrated
Man, this whole chapter made me so sad. Then I got to this line
and I broke, too.
And then when Rarity steps back to let Pinkie Pie talk...
Thanks for the awesome chapter. I loved this to pieces. This is how friends are always there for one another
cue Twilight's mind snapping (along with Rarity's neck)
2041040
If that's true... that's... horrible! To think a life, nevermind hundreds--thousands!--would have been decided simply on if one was transformed into a pony or not at the critical moment... is just too horrific to consider!!!
However, I still hope, since the last mention was that they had been flung away, and Celestia had sent ponies to search for them.
Bravo. This chapter really does transform this story into something special.
I especially like how you have Twilight nearly paralyzed from the fact that now her decisions are permanent. Its an interesting consequence to having experienced something like hundreds of time loops.
Seriously Rarity? Seriously?
Maybe have a small prologue, ~2k words to show everything is fine again, despite Rarity's incredibly poor choice of words :P
..............................Mortals can't deal with immortality, period, that's just how it is. I'm honestly suprised that even though this was bittersweet Twi did not kill herself.....damn, this was depressing, I was expecting a rainbow and sunshine ending but what boils down is the cold, hard fact....mortals can't deal with immortailty, the Gods of Equestria can tell you that much....poor Twi, but I'm glad to see Pinkie get serious for once in her life, that's a first....all in all.....a 8.5/10. And did I sense a bit of Twishy in this chapter?
Love that pairing, though this is still sad.....very, very well written though....makes me wonder what the Gods think of having such a long life span and how they deal with it though.
2040709 I would really, REALLY love to
Come on people, try to see through Rarity's line.
Keeping it bottled up doesn't help: go back through it one last time; only, this time, you're not alone.
Closure.
2040709>>2040756>>2040764>>2040861>>2040917>>2041091>>2040983
Tweaked the line so it's a little less smarmy.
2041096
There was actually a scene I cut that might have suggested that. Twi was sleep deprived and reading a rare book when she accidentally spills an inkwell all over it. She mumbles something about having to remember not to screw that up next time and heads for the kitchen. She only realizes what she's about to do when the knife is inches from her throat.
Spike gets home to find the knife plunged into a wall and Twilight hiding under her covers upstairs crying.
I'm not upset because I'm so exhausted that I forgot I wasn't in the time loop anymore. I'm upset because I'm honestly not sure whether or not I forgot at all
Feel good scene of the year, right there. I ended up dropping it.
2040996
I think it's funniest out of context, honestly.
2041157 Definitely better last line, cause that whole other one was a bit...well, not what you would say to somepony who has been what Twi's been through.
It made me want to 'Deggabish'(say it fast and think on it lol)
Overall, with the two dif endings 9.8 out of ten
The last line was perfect.
Because now Twilight will tell them all the story, from her narration, from the beginning.
Which of course is the exact same story we've all been reading.
Meaning, if you want to hear what Twilight tells them, proceed to Chapter 1.
THE FIC ITSELF IS A TIME LOOP
2040682 actually, I'd bet on an exponential increase with THAT one involved...
2041233 I...
tf2wiki.net/w/images/e/e3/SpyHeadAsplode.gif
First of all, probably the best story I've read this month, and that's saying something.
Second of all, props for using the interrobang, that amazing little thing needs to be more popular.
2041157
You shouldn't drop that scene out. Its pretty good showing how she lived all this loop stuff.
But anyway very good stuff, aftermatch of this all, now it fell little more complete :)