"Is there anyway to make this balloon go faster?!!" Twilight Sparkle screeched the question. Despite it being her balloon and having knowledge of how it worked, her panic was leading her to seek alternatives. Upon hearing the question, Pinkie leaned over the side and began to blow in the opposite direction the balloon was traveling. After a few moments, she was exhausted.
Just then, Twilight got an idea. "Rainbow Dash, get out and-"
"Giant." her friends echoed an answer to her notion.
"Fluttershy, can you try to-"
"Giant. Also, she's who we're looking for." Another group reply followed by Pinkie explaining. Twilight groaned in frustration and slumped to the floor of her balloon.
"Maybe we could try the wing spell?" Rarity suggested enthusiastically. Of course she would jump at the opportunity to look fabulous.
Twilight held her head in her hooves. "With what? You see any materials I can use to make wings in this balloon?"
"I still have some leftover cheese." Pinkie mentioned, holding a combat helmet filled with chunks of formage.
Rarity recoiled at the idea. "Cheese wings?! Wings made of... cheese? On me?!" she trembled as she contemplated the notion of using wings made of... cheese.
"How would that even work? First, your cheese has holes in it. Second, there's not enough to make to wings for all of us. Third,-"
"Cotton candy!" Pinkie shouted and pointed a hoof behind Twilight.
"Cotton candy? That would be even worse! It would melt if it got exposed to-" Twilight didn't see behind her that the balloon was heading into a patch of clouds, a patch of cotton candy clouds. She was knocked to the floor as the balloon stuck into the bright pink fluff.
"Oh no," Twilight said as she got to her hooves. "Cotton candy clouds? Oh no... that means..."
"Discord got out again." Rarity and Pinkie echoed the unfortunate truth.
Twilight prodded one of the clouds adhering to her balloon with a hoof. It stuck to her hoof and then sprung back. The clouds were holding the craft in place.
"It's okay." Twilight said with releif. "I can just use a spell to clear all this up." Twilight's horn glowed and she unleashed a magic beam at the nearest cloud. The beam exploded in a flash but the cloud remained. Twilight's heart sank. "Oh no," she said mournfully.
"The clouds resist magic? If only we had a pegasus here who could-" Rarity was about to finish that sentence when a glare from Twilight stopped her. The glare quickly turned into a trembling lip. Twilight looked as though she as about to break into tears.
"What are you blubbering for maggot?" Pinkie asked. She know wore the combat helmet and it seemed to have changed her into a minature pony George S. Patton. She marched over to the cotton candy cloud.
"We're not staying stuck to this cotton candy for another cotton candy-pickin' moment! There's only one way out of this!" Pinkie declared as she opened her mouth wide and took a bite out of the nearest cloud. She followed that bite with another and then another. Before long, an entire cloud disappeared.
"Tastes like victory!" Pinkie said, patting her stomach. She continued trying to eat the craft free of the cotton candy bank of clouds. This attempt lasted about another minute and a half before the pink pony slumped to cabin of the balloon, covered in pink cotton residue from mane to tail.
"I can't... I can't make it sarge." Pinkie said to Twilight who stood by her, perplexed. "It's too much. I didn't sign up for this." she gasped. Instantly, she'd changed from confident and courageous general to shell-shocked and traumtized footsoldier.
"It's okay Pinkie," Twilight said, trying to comfort her friend despite her own confusion. "You... you did your best. We couldn't ask for anything more."
"Why, yes." Rarity agreed. "You gave those clouds your all. That one never stood a chance, why, you walked all over it."
That gave Twilight an idea. "The cloudwalking spell! Of course! We can use that to walk the rest of the way to Canterlot!"
"You mean... I didn't have to eat all those clouds?" Pinkie asked.
"Um... I guess not." Twilight admitted.
Pinkie's gaze dropped to the floor. "We had bad intel. All those men lost... for nothing."
Twilight didn't know what to say. She decided once again that nothing would be exactly the thing to say. Looking over to Rarity, she saw that she had chosen to do the same.
"So, give me a moment to cast the cloudwalking spell and we can get going." Twilight said.
Pinkie got up off the floor slowly. "It's just like they told us back at the academy. War is hay."
2395382
That's the best way to write. That's what I used to do when I wrote.
This has simply devolved from comedy... To... I haven't a fucking clue anymore. Is there even a plot anymore, or has it been forgotten?
And has anyone else noticed it still says complete even though it still updates?
Whatever. I'll read till the end. Whenever THAT may be.
~Skeeter The Lurker
What just happened?
My confused is brain...
2396182 As I've said, there is a plot. At the end of the alternate epilogue, it begins an alternate storyline in which Fluttershy, after being deharmonized by Discord continues on to Canterlot instead of going back to Ponyville. That being said, very little is holding this story together but something is. It does have the Random tag up there for a reason. While the main story is complete, the alternate story is not and I felt releasing it as a seperate story would've been too much trouble. If you notice anything you think is out of place, let me know. Just please be specific.
2396438
I'd be lying if I said nothing felt out of place... The whole things seems... Haphazard and disjointed.
But, but but but! While that maybe so, it actually (in my mind at least) lends to its charm as a story. You somehow make it work well with this. And I mean that truly, too.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2076643
DAYUM DUDE. The fuck you on and where can I get some?
~STL
2396476Skeeter, have you seriously read any of my previous comments? When I first wrote this story, I hated it. I hated my own story, this is the biggest, cliche'd piece of garbage I have ever written. I had a six and a half hour long argument with myself about this story, out loud, in public. I hated this story a LONG time ago, seriously, you seem a little bit late to the party. Try to look at it from my point of view. You're telling me it's disjointed and out of place, wacky with barely any plot. You said that now while it's at 17 chapters. I'VE BEEN SAYING IT SINCE THE BEGINNING! YES, I'm aware this story is cliche'd to hell but when I brought it up TWELVE CHAPTERS AGO the audience still FOR SOME REASON seemed to like it, which DRIVES ME CRAZY. I was ENCOURAGED to continue it MULTIPLE times. So go figure. Now, I'm past the point of self-loathing and I've found something I liked in the story: the Jurassic Park reference and the imagery in the beginning. So I'm happy you enjoy and thank you so much for your feedback.
But I did say to be specific. I can't fix things if I don't know where they are. If you could narrow it down to a chapter or two, I could address it more effectively, make it even better. Also, there are 3 sepreate stories here, the first one, the alternate one and the one in the author's notes which I'm calling the Fourth Wall Area or FWA, as in the phrase, Fwahahaha! And so on and so 4th. lol
2397132
Hey now. Cool your tits. I mean what I said at the start. As far as the comments, go...
Nope. I never read the comments. Well, HARDLY ever. Could careless about them as most are completely useless. All you really need is a story that gains my attention, like this one did.
I knew from the start it was a cliche, how could it NOT be? But I didin't care about that at all. I just wanted a decent, stupid, amusing tale... And you delivered. I do find it unfortunate that you don't like it, but, that can't be all true, after all you're STILL WRITING PARTS OF IT. I'm a firm believer that one should write BECAUSE they enjoy it, not because they have to. (Save for textbook writers, they just need a better life.)
However, if I do find something that truly doesn't belong in this story, or whatever, I'll let you know. I'm more than happy to help out.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2397423Well, I do appreciate it my friend and I'm grateful for your honesty. And I said that AT FIRST I didn't like the story, now I've found things I like about it and it's making me more enthusastic about writing the alternate chapters. You've already helped me improve the story once: I'm going to set it to incomplete. Feedback from the audience continues to help me improve this story and even my own perception of it, yours included. I hope I continue to deliver and that you continue to enjoy it and yes, I am writing this because I enjoy it. It just took a little for me to start enjoying it.
2395382 It's a Never Ending Story.
Ok does this chapter mean you are nearing the end or is MH going to kill you after all? Also this makes want to go watch Ponies.
2397835Michael Hay and I are busy researching for his movie and no, he can't kill me because this story is rated Everyone.
2398123 So? People have died in G and Everyone rated stuff. Remeber Bambi or Finding Nemo? Or in games like Legend of Zelda?
2398304This is rated Everyone, not rated G. Also, Michael's gun is a prop, not real. I'm really not even sure how he's holding it...
MH: Duct tape.
Ah, it's duct tape. Anyway, right now we're about halfway through season 2. We had to take a break to get food, I made hotpocket salad. That's a salad with chunks of hotpocket in it and melted cheese on top. Mmmmm. Indigestion never tasted so good.
2398355 That actually does sound good and...wait! Did you just change the Title? Was that MH or your doing?
2398427He made me do it... as part of our new 'partnership'. I'm planning on changing it back when he's not looking.
This is MLP on crac... and it is glorious!