Alternate Epilogue: Big Twist
Fluttershy looked to the ground as she thought of the work ahead of them. "Twilight? Could you hold on a second please?", she asked as the others galloped off towards town.
"What is it Fluttershy?", Twilight turned and asked.
"I'm pretty tired with everything that's happened today... would it be all right if I went home to take a rest?". Fluttershy did feel partially responsible for what had happened but she was exhausted. She also had to go back and get her seeds still in the field.
Twilight smiled. "Of course Fluttershy. You go home and get some rest. The others and I will clean up the town.", she assured her friend.
"Thanks Twilight. I'm sorry I caused all of this.", Fluttershy apologized, her gaze fixed on the ground.
Twilight shook her head at the statement. "It wasn't your fault Fluttershy; it was mine. I just couldn't accept the fact that I... that I messed up so badly on such a simple spell. I'm sorry I put you through all of this.", Twilight apologized herself.
Fluttershy perked up. "It's okay. It was fun... kind of.", she smiled a timid smile.
"Next time this happens and the reversal spell doesn't work right away, we go to the princess. Okay?"
"Hopefully there won't be a next time! C'mon Twilight! The road's still covered in cheese and I have to get back to the market and buy crackers before sundown!", Pinkie called out to them. Just moments ago she was complaining of a stomach ache from too much cheese. Now, Pinkie was planning on getting crackers and making a buffet of the road. Twilight shuddered at the thought of eating road cheese. Again, Pinkie Pie was her own explanation for her actions. Why? Because Pinkie Pie. That worked in Twilight's mind for now.
"I'll see you tomorrow Fluttershy. Bye!", Twilight said as she trotted off to join the others.
"Bye...", Fluttershy whispered. She walked down the road to the field where she'd seen her bag of seeds. A giant-sized hoofprint caught her eye in the road. She looked down at it and then examined her own hoof. Fluttershy had been huge indeed. Several ponies could fit within her own hoofprint. She felt a trill of excitement at making a mark on Equestria like this. She caught herself grinning and shook her head. She put the ideas out of her head. She was back to being normal-sized Fluttershy. Normal, same-old, boring, tiny Fluttershy... her gaze slowly traveled down to the ground.
Fluttershy retraced her own enormous hoofprints to her sac of seeds. It had been right where she'd left it and was normal size as well. She picked it up off the ground and dusted it off. The basket she'd been carrying the seeds in though... where had it fallen? She looked around for it. It couldn't have gotten far.
"Looking for something?", a familiar voice said behind her. She turned to see Discord standing a few feet away swinging the basket by the handle. Despite having been blasted by Flim and Flam's cheese cannon and being inadvertently crushed by giant Fluttershy afterward, he looked no worse for wear.
"Discord, don't you think we've all had enough chaos for one day?", she asked the demon.
"Oh, today was a lot of fun wasn't it? But I agree, being stepped on by a giant pegasus definitely takes it out of a fellow. We should do it again sometime. Here's your basket back big girl.", he said, tossing her the basket. "I think I'll take a little vacation, maybe see how my good friend King Sombra is doing in the Crystal Empire."
Fluttershy caught the basket. "That would require him to get screentime. I don't think that's going to happen.", she stated flatly.
Discord frowned in disappointment. "Yes, you're right...", he said, scratching his chin. "Oh well. Toodles.", Discord then pressed a finger in midair which made the sound of a button pressing. The ground beneath his feet began moving him forward as he stood on it. He leaned to the side and let out a long sigh as the earth under him moved him along like a conveyor belt.
Fluttershy thought for a moment. "Um, Discord?", she asked. Discord pressed the air again and the 'conveyor belt' stopped. He turned towards Fluttershy.
"You said you know about size-altering magic right?", Fluttershy asked with a shy smile.
Discord raised an eyebrow. "Yes, why?", he asked back.
"Do you think you could perform that size-changing spell... the one from Twilight's book?", she asked, looking up at him with kind eyes that didn't betray a hint of the true slyness of her curiousity. Discord's face broke into a huge grin. He liked the way the pegasus was thinking. There was fun in store for both of them. Big fun.
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
229,343 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I could see fluttter shy having like the size bost after she realised how big she was and her and dissy are vary good friends it would by no means surprise me if we saw the return of gigashy
2073056 My original idea for the story was to have Rainbow Dash become giant. The original title would've been "My Big Dashie", a glaringly obvious reference to certain other story. In the end though, I couldn't imagine Rainbow Dash running off terrified. If anything, she'd probably learn to enjoy being giant very quickly. Also, Fluttershy's discordant form of cruelty fit a little bit better than Rainbow Dash's deharmonized nature. I decided to throw giant Dashie into the situation anyway though just for the heck of it. I did enjoy the 'taking up most of the sky' joke.
2073105
I would like to seee a bit of rainbow dash and AJ enjoying giant RD
2073182 Depending on the type of "enjoying" you're speaking of, that may not be my style. I won't discourage a little spin-off though.
sounds like a possible sequal idea to me.
2074154 Maybe... giant CMC perhaps?
2074167 that would hilarius.
2076643 WHERE'S THE LIKE COMMENT BUTTON?!
Eh... hate to break up the party, but I wasn't too fond of this one.
There's way too much telling the reader what's going on as opposed to showing and not enough investments made from sympathy for the characters. There are a lot redundant statements, characters just show up out of nowhere and unannounced, and there are a lot of grammatical errors. Lines of dialogue need to be separated on there own lines, two different characters shouldn't have dialogue in the same paragraph, and quotation marks should never be followed by a comma.
However, I'm not giving this a thumbs down (though maybe I should) for a few reasons, the first being that I have to really dislike a fic as a whole to downgrade it, and I didn't hate this one through and through; just think it needs serious improvement. The second is though it isn't delivered in the best way, I actually do kind of like the idea, so I have to give you credit for that. And lastly, you get serious brownie points for finding a place to slam King Sombra.
Seriously, f
ck King Sombra. In fact, f
ck the entire season three premiere; forty-five f
cking minutes of disastrously derived, undeveloped, disgusting disappointment.
My youngest brother is going to be visiting for the weekend next week, and I'm seriously considering talking him into doing a nostalgia critic-style post-season review of why 'The Crystal Empire' f
cking sucked so much.
This story did get me thinking, though... I wonder if there are any macrophile bronies out there...
- Christian 'Wonders about all the wrong things' Harisay
2089991 Macrophiles. That's a line of thinking I'm going to steer clear of. Breaking up the party? I'm aware this isn't my best work, probably far from it. It is readable though and that I'm happy with. As far as the grammar, it's written to be read aloud so sometimes the errors are intentional because that's how I read
. I appreciate the honesty and I agree with you. It needs some editing but I had fun with it. Also, the characters coming out of nowhere was also intentional becauase it happens on the show a lot. I was trying to right it in a cartoony style and it does have the random label on it. Again, thanks for the input.
Oh and I'm not fond of King Sombra either. I thought it was an excellent way to bring in a little 4th wall humor.
2090261 Follow the logic of, 'if you have to ask, you don't want to know.' (I've seen far worse out there, but there's still little 'wow, that was unexpected' thing to it.)
Perhaps it would be better have said that the way things are explained narratively felt off and in need of improvement, not so much the syntax of the characters. The dialogue is fine for the most part.
True, characters come and go as they please, but that's usually for the main cast, where it has already been established that they all live in Ponyville so chance encounters are perfectly reasonable. Supporting cast, on the other hand usually have some build up to them as their appearance will have some significant impact on the protagonists, and multiple instances of branching plot-lines spurred by said supporting cast can lead to a cluster-f
ck. Though I do have to give you some credit, this is the first story I've seen that has Trixie and the Flim Flam Brothers on-screen at the same time.
But it is good to see that you can take a crack on the head from a critical critique. And to find somebody else who hated The Crystal Empire, or at least how poorly Sombra was written. (Though let's face it, there were far more problems with those episodes than just a terrible villain.)
Brohoof for having enough sense to know the Crystal Empire sucked.
images.wikia.com/zelda/es/images/8/89/Brohoof.jpg
- Christian 'Hissing 'CRYYYYYSTAAAALS' isn't character development' Harisay
2090597 I appreciate your critique and I agree with it for the most part. I'm going to get around to editing it a tad, adding a few touch ups here and there but it's going to stay pretty much the same in the long run. I do think you're a tad hung up on the characters coming out of nowhere but remember the context: enormous monster destroying the town. Trixie showed up because she saw Fluttershy destroy the market place, therefore we can surmise that Trixie must've been in Ponyville at the time. Flim and Flam showed up on a tank because they wanted to show off their newest invention, capture the monster, make money. When a giant monster is in town, word will get out.
Uh, Discord isn't a demon. He's a god of chaos. Theresa difference. Gods can be chaotic too!