• Member Since 26th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 9th, 2023

Draconis187


I am a simple writer who gets bouts of writer's block and procrastination. But, I do enjoy writing and wish to get cover images of my stories.

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A human who was part of a genetic experiment tried to escape those who sought to destroy him. In the attempt he winds up in another universe inhabited by multi-coloured talking ponies. Now the question is: will he be able to adapt to this unusual yet welcome turn of events or will this universe reject him?
A/N: This is my first story.
i was unsure of whether or not i would be allowed to publish the prologue since it does not connect to MLP just yet but it does provide the backstory for Michael. Any constructive critisism is more than welcome as i wish to improve as much as possible. Edited chapters have ** next to them.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 26 )

I read maybe 1000 words into this and I was liek NO. TOO BAD TO CONTINUE

This gets a dislike, and is borderline TWE recommendation.

I sorry

i really enjoyed this and if the ship he was on/in folded in upon itself *into* him wouldn't he weigh like thousands of tons?

1726965 Think of it this way: a submarine consists of an outer and inner shell to help protect against the pressure exerted on it, this is almost the same concept but for a different reason. In the Infinity's case it was to add another layer of protection but yes he would weigh thousands of tons, this though gets mitigated when the process of changing into something else is complete.


1726572 What is TWE?? oh and this is the first story I've done so give me a break, but i expected somepony to dislike it.

Post a picture of him?

1732220 TWE- Train Wreck Explorers, the group who showcases the worst fics on the site, Few get in, none come out. Your story is safe due to the lack of a more than 50% dislike-like ratio. For now.

There's so little logic in this, the story itself has zero background- who the heck is this First, alpha, whatever fleet, what the heck did he do to get them on him, what? I can't understand any of it. What time period is this? Where did all this technology come from? Why are they destroying galaxies to test it, and how can someone go from the third dimension to the second by wormhole? Where the HECK did all these ships come from?

Not only that, but the writing could have been much better. Onomatopeia is stuck inbetween the paragraph, the dialogue creates a run-on sentence of a paragraph, it's atrocious how low-structured the story is. I recommend you should have started with some short one-shots instead of a longfic, one-shots are much easier to write and you can get a lot more practice out of them than you think.

Heck, I'm planning my third longfic, my last two went horribly, one was so bad it probably would have been in TWE if I hadn't taken it down.
The last times, though, I didn't outline or anything. I rarely do that anyway :I
This time I am, and I'm confident in it.

1734050 Sorry can't draw to save my life, that's why I tend to make references of things I have seen so the reader can get an idea, but it depends on who you are refering to. If it's Micheal, check my FA account under the same name and check the prologue the revised version is safe so you do not need an account to view it. here's the URL if you want http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9391761/

1736266 In the long description I mentioned the story's prologue was on FurAffininity and was meant to explain these discrepancies. Sadly it did not connect to MLP to I could not post it here. In it Icarus explains that if attention was brought onto Project Hellfire -which the Council allowed to continue under the table- the Council would issue the Bleach Protocol. FA also has the original Part 1, 2 and 3 but currently I am revising them, hell i even revised the prologue for Celestia's sake. Furthermore, whenever I tried a short fic it always dragged on and became longer than i intended. Science has some strange theories about travelling about the universe and about it being connected by wormholes and some do believe that some parallel or alternate universes are connected by the same wormholes which are also known as 'white holes'. The First Fleet don't destroy entire galaxies though, it was the Catacylsm Cannon that destroyed the solar system and there is a difference between the two MAD weapons. The cannon was designed as a nuclear deterant, it was never meant to really fire. What they fired was designated 'Clean Slate' which destroys ALL forms of life, bacteria, plants, EVERYTHING but not the planet. Good luck though with your latest attempt, hope it goes well and thanks for the criticism.

wow that was sad. :raritycry:

but it was also a good story. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

2224573 Thanks. In truth I wasn't going to have the sacrifices and the deaths of Twilight and Michael, they just came to be as I went along:derpytongue2:. Thanks for your kind words though.:pinkiehappy:

Have to say, he sounds like an OP motherfucker, but I'll keep reading because this intrigues me. Also, since hes being hunted by the Dragons he should change the ship to the 'U.N.S.C. INFINITY', just a cool idea. Also, you could at least call the sword by it's real name, 'Dawnbreaker' I believe it is, yes?

3339080 Not too sure about that but it's not the Dawnbreaker. It doesn't do what my version does. I need to go back over this fic and update it in terms of grammar and styling. Hope you enjoy it though.

1732220
I think TWE is where they collect the worst stories of all time.

Wasn't Surprise from seeing the pattern when pinkey seperated from pinkamena

4993497 No, Surprise is Pinkie before they settled on her being pink and an earth pony. Besides, the Surprise in Seeing the Pattern has a different cutie mark.

the wooden platforms that are used to move boxes are called pallets :moustache:

Hey I was wondering sequel yes or no?
Because I would enjoy a sequel very much like after the fact!
Be great if you did and very excellent story and I would have never thought it would end this way.:applecry:

5593012 I honestly never considered a sequel to this story since there is nothing I can really think of to carry it on. What part did you not expect though?

Well that escalated. This story does not deliever it's promise, becoming something significantly different than what was promised.

I'm not gonna lie theres two things that put me off of this story, the fact that he is seriously op I think he should be a little less powerful and the fact that he becomes a brony I dont really like those two things but I'm gonna still read it because it's still interesting in spite of this

3339080
Yeah its dawnbreaker, and yes I know your comment was from 2013 but I dont care.

Your writing seems to have gotten worse since last chapter but I'm still gonna read

7761793
I completely agree I'm not gonna read past this point

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