O.O.....
+1....000

Interesting.......

I came.

wow it so descriptiv
it olmost lost my etenshin
6 out 10
k33p i7 up

Well those two are being total bitches as always.

Bro, why do you always have to make stories that should be world famous? You have my vote

1730509 Holy shit, it's Regidar!

Hmm... I've heard this is one of your better-written works, and I'm curious about what that 'means'... So here I am. Suit up, load 'em, get to work.

… “to the fallen coat” – I think you meant ‘colt’.
… “Though... he might” – This isn’t a typo or error, but I was wondering if you meant to put the ellipsis in the narrative line, here.
… “catching site first” – ‘sight’ rather than ‘site’.
… “another bought of laughter” – ‘bought’ should be ‘bout’.
… “statement he as sure in” – Instead of ‘as’, it should be ‘was’.
… “barely for a cogent sentence” – I think you meant ‘form’ rather than ‘for’.
… “it'sobvious you weren't” – Just a spacing error, here.
… “her…butt… in” – As said earlier, I’m not sure of your policy on narrative ellipsis. Then again, if you’re cool with it, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be!
… “closer to snails” – Snails’ name should be capitalized here.
… “her targets stupidity” – It should be “target’s” rather than there being no apostrophe.
… “Snails lankiness was” – Snails’ name needs an apostrophe at the end of it… I just realized the coincidence of how my sentence started. Laaaaame.
… “pain the girls might here” – I think it should be ‘hear’, but the sentence itself gives me pause in making that a request.

So, opinion of the story... you know, I'll say this right now: I'm not too much of a fan of the overdescriptive style. At least, normally. The way you use it seems to provide incredibly detailed explanations for the scenarios, from the school to the walk to the forest. The beginning section was the only part that seemed rather 'unfitting', but everything else almost seemed to paint a picture for the events to occur.

Snails'... erm... 'whimsy' in particular is rather endearing at times, if not a bit off-putting when he interacts with other characters. I don't know why, but I laughed out loud at the line regarding his eyes going wide without explanation while in front of Miss Cheerilee.

Diamond Tiara... she's DT. She is almost always portrayed the same, and this was pretty much just beyond the standard: She seems to be literally 'menacing', and I have to say, I liked the way you portrayed her with regards to her "reason for being who she is"... well, "reason for being who she is to Snails". As for Silver Spoon, I kind've hoped for a bit 'more'. She just seems more "someone who's there" rather than a bully. She lacks the personality you gave to DT, which made me feel like, if this was real (a BIG "if"), as a third person viewing it, it would be pointless to watch her actions, or even to try analyzing her.

So yeah... this is definitely one of your best with regards to character utilization, even if the usage of "Snails' legs" got rather mundane after a while with how awkward you described his walking to be. Regardless, good show.

Dude...your stories are great!
What do you do for a living? This?

You
Are. What I desire to be.
This story,,, is like the guide... whoever you are... I worship thee. Give me a lesson on your art?
+10...10th degree... times 14

did anyone else felt a bit tortured while reading this?

good start so far will read on

It's good, but I think your trying to be too descriptive with your words.

Snails is a unicorn and DT and silvie are earth ponies. Snails should cast a paralysis spell on them and teach them the joys of dry anal. Then stick a pine cone up their asses afterword.

6441526
Well holy Celestia man! Where'd that come from!?

not to toot our own horn or anything but this story is actually kinda good. the dialogue is, anyway.

6441526
Snails is too confused...