• Published 4th Dec 2012
  • 3,612 Views, 35 Comments

The Return of Harmony- Alternate Ending - Matthais Unidostres

The Return of Harmony Part 1 made no sense! Here's what should have happened. . .

  • ...

The Return of Harmony- Part 2

The Return of Harmony- Alternate Ending
The Return of Harmony- Part 2

Previously on My Little Pony. . .

"Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could."

"I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord."

"The Elements! They're gone!"

"Hahahahahahaaa! Everypony has to play, or the game is over and I win."

"Cloudsdale. . .crumble. . .without me. . .NO!"

"Rainbow Dash is flying away! She's abandoning us!"

"How can it be?"

"Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos."

Discord burst into a fit of laughter, falling onto his back and kicking his limbs wildly.

"Ah can't believe Rainbow Dash abandoned us like this. . ." Applejack said, her voice filled with hurt.

Twilight shook her head, "No! Rainbow would never do that to us! Remember back when we first met? She didn't go with the Shadowbolts, so she wouldn't abandon us here!" Twilight then pointed an accusing hoof at Discord, "Admit it, Discord! You tricked Rainbow Dash! You didn't play fair!"

Discord chuckled as he got to his feet. "I'm not playing fair?" he said bemusedly, "Perhaps we haven't met. I'm Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. Hello?"

But Twilight continued to press her point, "You gave us rules to follow, but then you tried to get us to break them so you could take away the labyrinth before we could find Elements of Harmony!"

Discord blinked in confusion, "Oh, wait, did you...?" Discord chuckled, "How funny! You thought the Elements were in the labyrinth?"

Discord snapped his fingers, and the Mane Five were suddenly back in the Castle where Discord first made his appearance within the stained glass windows. The Discord in the windows chanted:

Twists and turns are my master plan.
Then find the Elements back where you began.

With another flash, they were back in the present.

"I never said they were in the labyrinth," Discord said plainly.

Twilight was at a loss for words, "But...but.." she stammered.

"Keep trying, Twilight Sparkle. Maybe the magic of friendship can help you," Discord said mockingly, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some chaos to wreak!"

Discord snapped his fingers and vanished. Immediately, cotton candy clouds rushed in and began pouring down chocolate milk.

Pinkie Pie gasped, "Chocolate milk? I love chocolate milk!" She opened her mouth wide and began inhaling the sweet liquid.

Applejack nudged Pinkie hard and said, "We don't have time for this! We've got to git those Elements back before Discord destroys Equestria!"

Twilight rapped her hoof against her forehead. "Grr! Think, Twilight, think! 'Find the Elements back where you began.' Back where you began. . ."

"I can't take it anymore!" Fluttershy gasped, falling to the ground and covering her face with her hooves.

"Calm down, dear, it'll all be okay," Rarity said gently, putting one of her own hooves over Fluttershy's shoulder.

"I-I-I just want to go home! And hide in the closet! With my teddy bear!" Fluttershy whimpered.

Twilight's eyes suddenly lit up, "Wait a minute...home! 'Back where you began!' Fluttershy, you're a genius! The Elements must be in Ponyville!"

The Mane Five quickly trotted down the path to Ponyville, with Twilight in the lead. "Come on, girls," Twilight said confidently, "I'm certain this is what Discord's riddle really meant. If we get back to the library, I have a book that I just know could give us a clue. Ah!"

A stampede of deer legged rabbits came out of nowhere and trampled Twilight into the dirt.

Fluttershy gasped in horror, "Angel! How could you!"

Suddenly, the Sun shot down beyond the horizon, and the Moon shot up to take its place. It was now pitch black night.

"Uh-oh, ah can't see a thing! Whoa!" Applejack slipped on the now slippery road and crashed into the rest of the group, knocking them over. "Sorry!" she stammered.

The Sun and Moon changed places again, and it was once again day time.

"Wah! Ahh!" Twilight exclaimed, "Discord's turned our dirt roads into soap!"

Discord suddenly skated by on the slippery surface, "Beautiful, isn't it?" he said. He then pointed to the now chaotic town before them. Chocolate rain was failing, the ground was a patchwork quilt, and building were floating in the air, some of them upside down. "This is the new and improved Ponyville, and these are only my first of changes," Discord said giddily.

"Wee! This is fun!" Pinkie Pie cheered as she did skating tricks on the soap.

Twilight groaned. Discord suddenly picked her up and pointed, "Picture it: The chaos capital of the world!"

It suddenly changed from day to night again. "I can't picture anything. It's too dark," Twilight remarked. Discord dropped her and the soap and sighed.

"Well, wait a few minutes and you'll see it in the beautiful light of day. Or not," Discord replied, and vanished with a flash.

"Ponyville, the chaos capital of the world? Not if I have anything to say about it!" Twilight declared.

"Not if we have anything to say about it," Applejack said as the rest of the group stood by Twilight. Twilight couldn't help but smile as they went on their way.

They quickly entered the Library as the night turned to day once again. Spike was busy sleeping in the corner. Twilight went over to wake him, but Fluttershy held her back.

"Shhh! Don't wake him up! He looks so peaceful!" Fluttershy said softly.

Twilight sighed, but smiled, "Okay. Now, Elements of Harmony- A Reference Guide. . ."

"Ooh! Ooh! I know where it is!" Pinkie said excitedly, "It's-."

"I know, Pinkie, under 'E'," Twilight said as she walked over to the appropriate spot. She levitated the book off the shelf and opened it. She gasped. The book had been hollowed out, and inside were the Elements of Harmony!

"The Elements! They were here all along!" Twilight gasped, "See girls? We did it! We found the Elements of Harmony! Together!"

"Well, not exactly. . ." Applejack said.

Twilight nodded, "Oh yeah, Rainbow Dash. And we can't use the Elements without her."

"Well then, let's go find her!" Rarity said, "And let's make it quick. I could sure use a spa appointment after all this! Ugh, this soap smells terrible! And add in that wretched chocolate rain-!"

"Alright, Alright, Rarity, we hear ya. Let's go!" Applejack said.

Fluttershy flew down from Rainbow Dash's house. "She's not here," she said.

Applejack looked worried, "She could be anywhere by now! We're never gonna find her."

"Yeah, we will," Pinkie said happily, "'Cause she's right there!" Pinkie pointed to a patch of cloud in the sky. On it, there proudly stood Rainbow Dash, apparently keeping watch over the skies.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called out.

Rainbow Dash gave a quick look down at them. "Hey guys!" she called down.

"We've been looking everywhere for you!" Twilight called out, "Discord's still on the loose! We need you to help us defeat him with your element, loyalty!"

"Well, duh!" Dash called back, "Why do you think I'm staying here in Cloudsdale!"

Rarity stared incredulously at Dash, "How in Equestria can she think that tiny patch of cloud is Cloudsdale?"

"The same way he got you to think that cheap rock was a bona fide diamond," Applejack remarked.

"I thought we agreed never to speak of that again," Rarity hissed.

"Look, Rainbow," Applejack shouted.

"No, you look!" Dash shouted back at her, "If I leave Cloudsdale, it's gonna be completely destroyed! There is now way I am gonna let that I happen! I was born in Cloudsdale, and I am loyal to it, so I'm not gonna let anything happen to it! So there!"

Fluttershy whimpered, "Oh no! It's hopeless!"

"No it's not!" Twilight shouted, she then focused her gaze on Dash, "Rainbow! You say you're loyal to Cloudsdale, but what about your loyalty to Ponyvile, to Equestria, to your friends?"

Rainbow Dash's left eye twitched, "I - I - I can't think about that right now!"

"But you've got to!" Twilight persisted, "Listen Dash, I understand-."



Dash took a step back on her tiny patch of cloud.

"I understand what you're feeling, Rainbow," Twilight continued, "This is a matter of conflicting loyalty. You don't know who to be loyal to. Remember when everypony wanted those Gala tickets? I didn't know who to give them to. But I made the choice to give them up so I wouldn't let my friends down. Luckily, things turned out good for everypony. You see, instead of seeing things as either A or B, black or white, left or right, you have to-."

"Take the third option. . ." Dash whispered.

Everypony stared tensely up at Rainbow Dash, who had become very quiet after speaking. Dash stared into her front hooves. They were trembling violently.

"If I stay, Discord will take over. . .if I leave, Discord will make Cloudsdale will crumble. . ." Dash said nervously. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them. "Well then. . .I'll just have to take Discord down!"

Dash's grey scale coat and mane quickly regained their color as she zoomed down to the ground, landed, and said, "Necklace me, Twilight! It's time to stop Discord!"

Everyone closed in and hugged Dash, cheering. However, they were interrupted by a trio of ballet dancing buffaloes wearing pink tutus.

"Maybe it's a little too early for a group hug. . ." Twilight remarked.

Discord laughed manically as he sat on his throne in Ponyville. He magicked up a glass, which filled with chocolate rain from the top up. "Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing!" he cheered.

"Not as wonderful as friendship!"

Discord gasped and turned to see the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony, ready for action. Discord's draw dropped so far that it hit the ground. He picked it up refastened it to his face and said, "But how! I trapped Rainbow Dash in an unanswerable paradox!"

Rainbow hovered in the air and smiled, "Heh! Well, wrong problem with that, Discord! Not all problems can just be answered with a yes or no, or an A, B, C, or D! Sometimes you gotta try E, none of the above!"

"What?" Discord spat.

"Sometimes you can't be loyal to everything you're loyal to all at once," Rainbow continued, "Sometimes you gotta make choices. But the best thing you can do is look at things from all angles, and maybe, just maybe, you can find a way to please everyone."

"Ugh! Gag!" Discord shouted, "What a speech! You must be thirsty after that! Here! Catch!"

Discord threw his glass of chocolate milk at Dash. Inches away from her, the glass exploded. Discord starting laughing, but stopped when the smoke cleared. Twilight had created a magic shield around Dash at the last moment, shielding her from the blast.

Discord growled and cracked his knuckles, "You wanna play like that? Fine!" Discord, snapped his fingers, and a loud whistling sound filled the air.

The Mane Six soon noticed square shadows over them. Rarity looked up and gasped. "Look out!" she screamed.

The ponies quickly scattered as anvils began raining from the sky, crashing into the ground. Discord laughed uproariously as he continued to snap his fingers, causing safes, pianos, and boulders to fall from the sky as well.

Rainbow Dash flew towards Discord at full speed. At the last moment, Discord vanished, and in his place was a brick wall.


Dash moaned as she slid down the side of a wall like a rotten tomato. Discord reappeared nearby and began to laugh again.


Discord turned to see Pinkie Pie glaring at him. "Hurting ponies is not funny!" she shouted. Just then, the Element of Laughter shot a blue lazer beam at Discord's bat wing. Discord called out in pain as it instantly turned to stone.

"Ahh! You little pink whelp! You're in for it now!" Discord shouted. He raised his eagle claw, and it began to glow with a golden force. Pinkie Pie gasped as she was seized by the neck by the strange force and levitated in the air. Discord smiled wickedly and made a fist, causing Pinkie's neck to be squeezed. "No one can save you now, my dear! They're all too busy dodging falling Acme products!" Discord chuckled as Pinkie writhed around in mid air, the color beginning to drain from her face.

Suddenly, Fluttershy flew up in Discords face. "You - big - dumb - MEANIE!" She then unleashed the full power of her stare on Discord, causing him to drop Pinkie. The pink pony gasped and began gratefully sucking in air to fill her lungs. Meanwhile, the Element of Kindness shot a pink lazer that hit Discord on his left horn. Disocrd's head jerked back and he fell over. But he quickly dusted himself while aveting his eyes from Fluttershy's gaze.

"Ha! Of course you slipped through my heavy rain! You're so small, useless, and insignificant, who would notice you! AH!"

Discord doubled over in pain as the Element of Honesty turned his other wing to stone. Applejack strode boldly towards the Draconequis and said, "Ah'm sick and tired of your lies, Discord. Why bother talkin? Nopony listens to a dirty rotten liar like you!"

Discord got up and shook off the pain. "Huh! I don't need wings to fly!" Discord rose quickly into the air, where all the cotton candy clouds gathered around him. "Time to give you a generous helping of chocolate hail!" he shouted.

"Everypony, to me!" Twilight shouted.

The four ponies quickly ran next to Twilight, who created a shield just in time. The cotton candy clouds had become machine guns, spitting out bullets of chocolate ice cubes.

"This is not generosity!" Rarity shouted, "This is giving ponies what you think they should have, without even considering their feelings! Generosity is when you find out what others need and willingly share it with them! Nopony wants this chaos! Only you do! So that makes you selfish!"

The Element of Generosity shot a blue bolt up through Twilight's shield and right into Discord's eagle claw. Discord cried out in pain as it was turned to stone and clutched it tight. If he hadn't noticed that Rainbow wasn't on the ground, he sure did when Rainbow slammed hard into Discord's back, sending him falling to the ground.

Discord formed a storm cloud in his lion paw, but the Element of Loyalty shot a red lightning bolt at it, dispersing it and turning Discord's paw to stone. Discord hit the ground hard, creating a cloud of dust around him. He got up and snarling, "The one who lives to run away lives to fight another-."

Before Discord could finish and warp away, Twilight's Element of Magic hit Discord's other horn, disabling his magic.

"NO! This can't be!" Discord shouted as he rolled over onto his back. He tried getting up, but his stoned appendages seemed to weigh 2000 pounds each, keeping him from moving very far. He back away as the Mane Six closed in on him.

"All right, ladies, let's show him what friendship can do!" Twilight announce.


Everypony turned to see Pinkie Pie taking one last drink of chocolate rain. She then bounce over to the group and growled at Discord.

There was a magical hum as the Elements build up power.

"NO!" Discord shouted.

There was a Sonic Rainboom as the Rainbow of Light shot up, arced in the sky, and crashed down on Discord.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Discord shouted as the rest of his body turned to stone, and then suddenly exploded into a cloud of dust.

The Rainbow of Light split and enveloped the town in a dome of healing, cleansing all the chaos Discord had performed. The Mane Six floated gently down to the ground, and smiled at the patch of scorched earth right where Discord used to be.

Fanfare erupted as the Mane Six entered the great hall of Canterlot castle. Ponies looked on as the six heroes approached Princess Celestia.

Celestia announced triumphantly, "We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos."

Celestia's horn flashed, and a curtain was drawn back, revealing a stained glass window depicting the Mane Six using the Elements of Harmony to obliterate Discord.

The crowd cheered as the heroes smiled broadly, knowing that the Magic of Friendship would never fail them.


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Comments ( 15 )

Oh fuck I remember this.

Gave me a good laugh last week...

This is almost identical to the original shit.:ajbemused:

Oh yeah. . .except for the Mane Five being too smart to fall for Discord's ridiculously transparent tricks, Twilight not being so stupid as to use Spike as the Element of Loyalty, Twilight using logic to solve Rainbow Dash's paradox, Rainbow Dash understanding what the lesson was and breaking out of her corruption, Discord putting up a fight against the ponies by using his powers offensively, the Mane Six fighting an actual against Discord and using their Elements offensively, and Discord being killed.
Yeah, other than those few details, this was exactly the same. :ajbemused:
Seriously, shut up, troll.:flutterrage:

Hey, calling me a troll, seriously?
I said "almost the same". Not "Completly the same as the episode"

Yes, it got changes.

But anyway the outcome was the same.
Discord defeated. But killed instead.
This isn't "Alternative Ending", this is "Somewhat Changed". And all the changes changed nothing. You just made the mane 5 smarter and gave them resistance to mind powers. The last one makes no sense.

And then, Discord would never use his powers in the way you described in this story. You use it as a excuse for killing him off.

You posted a negative comment containing a swear without giving reasons why my story was s***. That makes you a troll.

. Besides, in the show, he dangled three ponies over a pit of fire, so he does use his powers that way.

Did I say your story was shit? Read again and check your eyesight.
When did he do this? Tell me excactly where in what episode I'll find that. It is a long time since I saw season 2.

Kinda on-topic:
In most fics where Discord is reformed the thing Mane six often uses against him as a argument is the mind control. In this fic they resist that and therefore they have no personal grudge towards him. And then you kill him off. It would be a better start for the reformation later (if you haven't added the part where discord offensively uses his powers). This story was good written, but the changes was small and was uneeded or made no sense.

In part one, we see a stained glass window of him dangling ponies over a pit of fire and laughing sadistically as they scream in pain,

And that means it couldn't be propoganda?

3986387 We hear the sound of those ponies screaming during that scene. That authenticates the scene.

How so?

I'll stop commenting, I'm just trying to get over the point about Discord not being sadistic in the way you described. Why didn't he do anything else than create chaos when he got free in the series? Why didn't he kill Celestia when he had the chance?

All this lead me to the conclusion he never actually directly hurt anypony, but through his pranks or chaos ponies could be hurt, but not directly. In Season 4 we could see he get imprisoned in a flashback. I think it reveals he didn't actually kill/injure ponies directly, but through the chaos they often hurt psychologically or just get annoyed. They often also refers the Discord-era as an time where the ponies lived in unrest. It was never said he did anything worse than changing the world to an unatural state.

Look, buddy, I like your attitude. You take risks. Risks that, on the surface, statistically show that you're good. Now unlike some I also, kind of sort of, conscientiously object some of the writing in Season 2. Along with several others. Overall, in order to save this story, you have to realize you're taking a television episode and turning it into prose. The written word opens doors like you couldn't believe, mate. I usually see potential, love it, and take aim to help people. Shoot me a PM if you have any other questions, but here are some general tips to guide fixing one blemish on your track record:

TL;DR, please try controlling yourself while applying common writing techniques when transferring television to words.

Show, don't tell. Simple principle of writing and a subset of sustained engagement. Another problem that you run into when trying to take a screenplay to the digital page.

Pacing primarily sets tone as well as controls the flow of a good story. I made a mistake about three years ago opening an extremely edgy, and shitty mind you, fic with dialogue and failed to continue on sound points and reasoning. It was downvoted to oblivion, thus marking my official exit as a writer until the torrential tide of testosterone subsided. This relates whole-heartedly because openings have to be engaging. I mean look at the opening of The Count of Gem Grotto, one of yours:

It all happened so fast.

This opens a lot of questions early, and quickly. You have who, what, where and why already set up, and you follow through. By trying to jump off of the pill bottle cap that is an assumption, namely thinking everyone is going to remember half of part one of RoH, you can kill a story really quickly. Try writing the story from the ground up, instead of in the middle. That way you can clear the air with discrepancies already mentioned over three years ago.

Lastly, you're writing from third person omniscient. This is the big one, and the most important, especially when it comes to the aforementioned points I've made. As you can tell, being a Redwall fan and all, TPO has the most flexibility overall in writing style. On count, I tally eighteen page breaks. Your first section breaks the major rule of TPO, which is self-control. When writing in the least-oriented of the three major writing styles, you have to take care with pacing and scenery. Another technique you can apply is the oft unused stream-of-consciousness. Show us what the M6 think and feel as things are happening. It'll change the tone a little bit, sure, but at the same time that's important for conveying crises. Those of which were established in the writing of the show. It'll also help polish your understanding of character faults. I don't think that the show's writing was fair in allowing one party to steam roll one side of the conflict so easily in either direction. In retrospect, it feels rushed. Like this fic.

Very well done! Just didn't like the fact that discord died and there was absolutely no development of him. Could have been more interesting... but hey, good try!

(crowd cheers) You just saved us Twilight's Kingdom and To Where And Back Again!

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