• Published 1st Dec 2012
  • 16,969 Views, 1,039 Comments

The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian - Georg



Twilight believes the new unicorn magic school teacher is a pretentious royal jerk. Green Grass thinks the town’s librarian is an interfering, arrogant brat. Can they teach each other differently before somepony gets killed, or worse, married

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Ch. 8 - And They Went Forth To Be Enrolled

The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian
And They Went Forth To Be Enrolled


“Pinkie,” sighed Green Grass. “I told you, I don’t need a giant party for every foal in school, just the six little unicorns that I’ll be teaching. Something to keep the rest of them distracted while I talk with each student, one at a time. Once I get an idea of just how far their talent has developed, I’ll know where to start tutoring with them next week.”

The two of them were working out the details of the evaluation party as they sat in the Sugarcube Corner business office, which also now doubled as a daycare and nursery for the Cake’s twins: Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. Presently the two adorable little tykes were both tucked away in their cribs, but Pinkie assured him they were normally quite active during the day, and that Pumpkin Cake was going to be a super-duper terrifically strong unicorn filly just like Twilight Sparkle when she grew up. He had made up his mind at that point to see if another tutor circuit would open up by then, and transfer.

“But won’t their non-unicorn friends be sad if they can’t come to the party?” Pinkie turned her big blue eyes on the hapless stallion and stuck out her bottom lip. From then on, the tutor was fighting a losing battle that eventually resulted in a party purchase for sixteen foals instead of his expected six, plus treats and party favors and ‘incidentals.’ Once all the details had been recorded in Pinkie’s Party Planner (in pink icing, of course), and Green Grass hoofed over the bits for the party in advance, he still had a few minutes to spare before heading out to notify the parents of his pupils, and then to Cheerilee’s house to go over student records.

“Pinkie,” he asked absentmindedly. “Is Twilight crazy?” The moment the words left his mouth, he winced. Then again, if anypony in Ponyville knew crazy, it was Pinkie Pie.

“Yep!” she chirped, picking up a frosting tube and began dotting cupcakes with pink sugar flowers. “She’s crazy smart, and crazy fun, and crazy strong, and crazy smart—”

“You said crazy smart already.”

“She’s double-crazy smart! So do you liiiiiiiiikkkeeeee her?” The pink party pony leaned over backwards and fluttered her eyelashes at Green Grass while not missing frosting a single cupcake. “I saw her leave your wagon this morning after it was all like shakie-shakie and then she came out soggie-woggie with her mane all tangled up and then after you pulled your wagon over by Berry’s Bar she went out on her balcony and looked out where you were parked and nodded her head. And I got a double-hoof itch, tail twitch, nose wrinkle that said you two were kissing in your wagon. Or I had rutabagas for lunch.”

The blush that crept up Green Grass’ face had almost extended to his ears as he turned and studied the pink paint⁽*⁾ on the far wall. “It’s not like that,” he said weakly. “She... Well, I... We... We got off on the wrong hooves. About six of them. You’re not going to tell anypony about this, are you?”
(*) It used to be orange

“Noperooni!” Pinkie Pie drew one hoof across her lips and then proceeded to go through what appeared to be limb-waving convulsions possibly involving burying a key while burning the map of where the key was buried, until she picked the frosting back up and went back to decorating cupcakes with a “—so there.”

Smile. Nod. Accept it. Keep what tiny shattered fragments of your sanity remain intact.

“Ahem. Anyway, I kind of hit her and Spike in the face with a bucket of water when we first met, and then when I went back to apologize, I seem to have set her off because I wrote in a library book—” Pinkie gasped, and looked him over, seemingly checking for missing limbs “—and then when I came back to my wagon that night...” He trailed off with a guilty look and fidgeted.

Pinkie hopped up and down with excitement. “Did the two of you cling desperately to each other in the embrace of roaring passions, knowingly exalting in each other’s fervent touch and sharing a moment of unspeakable joy that will result in a beautiful foal being born in eleven months who will determine the very fate of Equestria and the whole multiverse?”

“What? No! All we did was sleep. I didn’t even know she was in the wagon until morning.”

“Darn. I’ve got fifty bits on ‘Avocado’ in the betting⁽¹⁾ pool.”
(1) The only available slots left in the pool are Fuchsia and Mauve. Contact Rainbow Dash.

“What?”

“Nevermind. What’s important right now is that you go right over to her and apologize. I’ll give you a cake, you can get flowers over at Roseluck’s and candy at Bon Bon’s. Hurry!” Pinkie pushed him towards the door with a decorated ‘I’m sorry for being a jerk’ cake on his back while shouting, “I’ll get the mariachi band and the soloist and meet you at the library! Hurry! They charge double after five!” She shoved the protesting avocado-colored stallion out the front door of the bakery and leaned against it, panting.

“It’s a good thing Twilight has such good friends like us.”

* * *

There was a gentle tinkle of bells above the door as he entered Roseluck’s flower shop and took a deep breath. The Chrysanthemum family greenhouse in Canterlot grew dozens of flower varieties just to satisfy the insatiable appetite of the vases among tables and hallways of the Barony, but there just was nothing like an earth pony flower shop to tantalize the nose. He closed his eyes and took a second deep breath, reveling in the delicate scents: three different varieties of roses, some hollyhocks, daisy, and a soft mix of herbal essences he had smelled before, but could not remember where.

Lilac. Hints of raspberry. Just a touch of mango. Orange as a base.

He let all of his breath out, and then leaned into a long sniff.

“Like it? My herbal essence shampoo is a big seller.” He opened his eyes to see nothing but Roseluck’s rose-colored mane with a giggling tan face that only showed when she backed up a step. On the side of the shop wall was a collection of bottles in nearly every shade of the rainbow with colorful labels and pictures of blooming flowers. He had never really been a connoisseur of mane-care products, as long as it said ‘shampoo’ somewhere on the bottle and didn’t turn his dusky mane strange colors.

“Your marefriend is a big fan of my favorite, Gentle Lilac Breeze With Conditioner. It makes your mane flow in the wind just like the Princess and really attracts stallions. But you already know that, don’t you?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him and giggled. “I see you already have a cake. Are you here for some flowers for your second date too? I’ve got a dozen yellow roses set back for you. They’re her favorite.”

“Date?” His voice squeaked for a moment while he tried to regain his composure, shifting the forgotten apology cake on his back. “Oh, no. Not a date. I wanted to tell you that I’ve scheduled an evaluation session at Sugarcube Corner tomorrow afternoon for all of my students this year. Pinkie Pie has a party set up, and little Berry Pinch can invite one or two friends. I’ll just need to talk with you and your daughter during the party for a few minutes with Cheerilee and Superintendent Masters so we can see how she is progressing on the course of study my predecessor, Miss Primrose, assigned. Is that acceptable?”

The lines of his short speech had been getting easier to say as he visited each of the parents; this was his fifth student with only one more to go. Despite Roseluck being an earth pony with a unicorn foal, she and Berry Pinch had been easy to work with. Generally it was more difficult to deal with unicorn foals who had non-unicorn parents, a problem he was fully conversant with in the inverse, but every time he had mentioned Ditzy’s child, everypony he talked to backed up a step to get out of the blast range. Roseluck was much more focused on her own job, trying to press the roses on him for ‘his sweet marefriend’ until he finally gave up and bought them just so he could leave the shop.

Once out on the street again, he felt overjoyed at not having to track down the last parent he needed to contact; instead she was flapping her way in his direction like her tail was on fire.⁽²⁾
(2) Not an infrequent occurrence.

“Mr. Green Grass! Mr. Green Grass,” Ditzy Doo called while zig-zagging through the sky. “Pinkie Pie says you’re late! The band is running out of things to play and Twilight has started throwing things at them from her balcony.” He judged her erratic trajectory with a practiced eye and sidestepped a moment before her impact onto the street, saving the apology cake from a terrible fate, as well as himself.

“Miss Doo,” he started as Ditzy stood up and shook the dirt off her head. “I’m late for a meeting with Cheerilee—”

Well, technically not late, but if I go over to Twilight Sparkle’s to apologize, by the time I get out of the hospital, I would be very late. If not The-Late-Mister-Green-Grass, may he rest in pieces.

“—to talk about my students, including your daughter. There will be a party tomorrow afternoon at Sugarcube Corner. She can invite one or two friends, just need to talk with the two of you for a moment at the party, and so on, and so forth. Can you please take this cake and these roses over to Twilight Sparkle at the library in lieu of my presence, and express my apologies? Please?” He stood there grinning nervously, expecting an angry pink party pony to show up at any moment despite his not actually promising to attend Pinkie’s apology performance in his honor.

Ditzy’s not saying anything. I must have said something wrong.
☑ - Mentioned daughter - check
☑ - Mentioned party - check
☑ - Mentioned evaluation - check
☑ - Requested delivery - check
☐ - Tip - Oh

“I’ll make sure there’s an extra muffin or two for you at the party if you deliver the cake and roses to Twilight Sparkle for m—”

“Muffins!” In a whirl of displaced air and a flash of blonde tail, the grey pegasus darted away into the sky, cake pan held between her forelegs and roses in her teeth. After a moment to make certain the mailmare was headed in the general direction of the library, Green Grass quickly trotted off for Cheerilee’s house, keeping his mind occupied with lesson plans and student records in order not to think about what was probably going to happen at the library.

* * *

Below the library balcony, Pinkie’s mariachi band was running out of songs at about the same rate Twilight was running out of patience.

“Pinkie! I mean it!” shouted Twilight Sparkle from the balcony. Having exhausted the options of earplugs and serious threats of violence, the librarian had resorted to pelting the traveling troubadours with the second most fearsome weapon a librarian had in her arsenal: Overdue Notices. “I’ve got educational bookmarks here, and I’m not afraid to use them!”

To Twilight’s regret, Pinkie’s guitar allowed her to continue playing even as she responded, “Don’t worry Twilight! I’m sure he’ll be here soon, he probably just had some quick errands to run before showing up to apologize. Oooh, there’s Ditzy, maybe she knows.”

Pinkie waved at the pegasus flying high up in the sky and shouted. “Hey Ditzy! Do you know when Green Grass is supposed to get here?”

“Oh! Hi, Pinkie!” came a voice drifting down from the sky as Ditzy Doo made a half-loop and waved. “Oops. He said he was going to Miss Cheerilee’s to work on stuff for tomorrow. Hey, Twilight. Could you catch—”

The faint descending whistle of the falling cake had been blocked out by Pinkie’s energetic music, to Twilight’s sudden and abrupt regret.

With a spray of icing and a noise much akin to a large gong being rung, the descending cake pan landed directly on Twilight Sparkle’s head.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” said the voice of Ditzy to Twilight’s side as the mailmare made a gentle landing next to the flattened unicorn. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”

“That’s fine, Ditzy. I’m fine,” she responded, slightly muffled by the cake pan now impaled on her horn and covering her head.

“He sent roses too. Did you want them now?”

“Do they have thorns?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“You can keep them. Please.”

“Thanks, Twilight!”

“Hey, Twilight?” inquired a voice on her other side. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, Pinkie. What is it?”

“Do you like the cake?”

For a long time, Twilight just lay there silently, head still covered by the cake pan and splatters of said cake surrounding her in a circle. “It’s wonderful, Pinkie. Just… let me sit here for a while and enjoy it, all right?”

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