Chapter Thirteen
Maternal Instinct
Chapter Thirteen
“Cerci... I know how you must feel about seeing me here...”
Cerci still did not say anything to her. She just sat back down where she was, facing her back to the Queen, head dropped and gazing wistfully into her lap. To Chrysalis, it looked as if she were meditating, but there was an underlying anger surrounding her as patent as the dirt clotting her mane.
‘Well, this is going as swimmingly as I thought.’ Right now, she really wished she had the power of telepathy, or at least the ability to see her face, if just to have some idea what the mother was thinking. Her persistent silence was disconcerting: she even would have preferred her to leap across the cell in a try to reach through the bars and punch her.
“And I figure you probably have nothing more to say to me.” She nursed her jaw, which started aching from the memory of the blow. “You made that clear at the hospital. All I’m asking is that you listen.”
No response. All she caught was the glint of the younger mare’s eye as she turned her head ever so slightly.
“Cerci?”
“What?”
To Chrysalis’ surprise, she did not sound angry; if anything, she sounded mildly irritated, like a parent whose foals had been pestering her. At least it was something.
“Well? Spit it out, Chrysalis. I wanna get back to sleeping on the wet floor.”
It took a changeling with the rawest nerve to contradict their Queen, and with suicidal tendencies if they dared talk to her with any less dignity and respect they would to the Kami. Cerci had done that twice now and she was still drawing breath.
And this was a mare who had spent her whole life, her precious youth working her hooves to the bone for her and the rest of the royal family. Not only that: along with all the other servants, she constantly lived with the knowledge that one misstep would result in strict punishment. Looking at her now, Chrysalis had to hoof it to her how far she had come from a submissive little changeling born into a life where being treated like a doormat was all that was expected of her.
“Cerci, the truth is, I’ve come here because…” Chrysalis braced herself and drew a long breath before finishing, “I want to apologize.”
An all too expected scoff came from within the cell.
Leaning against the cold, rusty bars to give her support, she heaved a sigh, “I’m sorry, Cerci. I’m so sorry and I’m ashamed of everything I’ve done...”
“How nice,” Cerci deadpanned. “Apology not accepted, please go away.”
Chrysalis flinched. She knew this was going to be far from an easy task, but give her some credit; it was not like she was brought up being expected to apologize for anything.
“Cerci, please,” she groaned, running her hoof through her own untidy mane. I’m trying as hard I can here.”
“I do not care,” was her curt reply. She rose from her spot with a severe unsteadiness brought about by her ordeal. “Your ‘apology’ means nothing to me, Your Majesty.”
When she slowly turned around and their gazes met, Chrysalis had to force herself to look her former servant in her eyes; they shimmered behind thickening walls of tears in the darkness. Her pain and blistering hatred was etched on her paled, tear-stained face and spoiling her natural beauty.
Uncontrollable shivering wracked her exhausted body and her icy voice wavered above a whisper, “Nothing you say will ever make this okay!”
"I..."
“No,” Cerci shambled her way to the bars so she could see her in the light. She walked with the mien of a wretched old beggar mare prowling the streets of one of her city. “Do you know what you’ve done to me? You’ve destroyed everything I loved!”
Chrysalis craned her neck in shame. “I... I know.” All the anger and hatred radiated off Cerci like a hunk of red hot steel, threatening to burn her alive from the inside unless she unleashed it.
“I loved that filly so much and...” she cowered in a shivering ball on the floor, head hidden in her legs. “And you stole her from me!” Chrysalis made out the pitter patter of tears hitting stone.
It felt like barbed wire was coiled and tightening around the Queen’s heart. Hesitantly, she slid her leg through the bars, but the instant her hoof touched the mess of a mane, Cerci reacted as if a stray dog bit her.
“Don’t! Touch me!” She spent minutes sobbing her heart out, until she finally forced herself to lift her head and stare pitifully at her through her matted locks. “Why? Why did you do this to us?!”
“I’m so sorry, Cerci.” The broken matriarch stressed it that she meant every word and tried her best to console her again, stroking her trembling hoof with care. “I don’t think I can say it enough. I’ve been awful to both of you... but please, I want to do all I can to fix this.”
“‘F-Fix it’?” she chuckled mirthlessly as she wiped her face with her sleeves. “You think... you can fix this, Chrysalis?” Her face then contorted into the most hateful, venomous scowl her anger would permit and she hissed, “You can’t fix it, you idiot! Pupa’s dead, you hear me? She’s dead!”
“No, she’s—”
“I don’t want to hear it! I'm done with you and all your lies! Now get out of here and leave me alone!”
Cerci tried to kick her away again, but the Changeling Queen would not take it any longer. With a determined glare, her entire body came aglow and effortlessly materialized itself through the bars.
“Enough!” She magically lifted Cerci to her eye-level and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Cerci, Pupa isn’t dead!”
Those three words knocked the fury right out of Cerci like wind from a blow to the gut, and she stared stupidly back at her with her jaw slightly dangling open.
“... w-what?” she squeaked.
Chrysalis inhaled heavily through her nostrils, set her down on her haunches, and made sure to cool her own engines down first before she continued, “She’s woken up and she’s going to be okay... okay? This is what I’ve come here to tell you.”
Cerci, however, appeared lost her in her own little world as she processed what she was being told. Her eyes swivelled madly left and right, her hooves bearing the weight of her head that suddenly felt heavier than a block of lead.
“Wher-where is she?!” she demanded abruptly, standing upright on her legs and holding her head high. Her whole body had reanimated itself like she received a booster shot of adrenaline.
“Still at the hospital. The staff is taking care of her—” She was interrupted again, this time when Cerci attempted to throw herself past her. She magically snagged her by the tail and dragged her right back to her spot.
“I want to see her!” she whined, struggling pathetically against her Queen’s infinitely superior magic. “Please, Chrysalis, let me go to her!”
“You will,” said Chrysalis as she took her by her grub-soft cheeks. “I promise you’ll be the first to see her, but there’s something I need to discuss with you first. I...” She bit her lip as she struggled to find the right words. “I would very much like for you to return to the palace. As Pupa’s nanny.”
Cerci was rendered speechless. Mutely, she analysed her features, searching for any inflection of sarcasm or deceit as if with a fine-tooth comb. All she saw instead was the fatigue of a mother who had truly been through Tartarus in these last few days.
“You’re serious?”
“I wouldn’t ask any other changeling in the whole kingdom for the job.”
She dropped her head, murmuring, “I... I can’t.”
Chrysalis was genuinely taken aback by that. “W-What are you talking about?” she gaped. “Why in the world not?!”
“Because after everything that’s happened, how do you honestly think everything can go simply back to the way it was?!” she snapped incredulously. She was now pulling on her mane extremely hard, like she wanted to tear it all out. “You almost killed your own daughter and you just expect me to forgive and forget? Well, fat chance of that happening! I can never forget nor can I never forgive you for what you did!” Fresh tears coursed down her cheeks as her voice cracked and her words tumbled over themselves. “It… It should never have happened, Chrysalis, not to an innocent filly like her! What possessed you to do such a… sick, evil thing, Chrysalis? What in your mind made it so right to strike down a hatchling who has done nothing but try to get you to love her?!”
Naturally, the Queen faltered as she searched for some kind an answer. The best she could come up with was a pitiful response, “I… I don’t know, I… was just so stressed.” By now, she was finding it excruciatingly difficult to look Cerci in the eye and suddenly found the filthy floor very interesting to study.
“That it?” Cerci sneered, rolling her eyes almost amusedly at her pathetically lame excuse. “How typical…”
“No,” she wiped a layer of sweat from her sticky forehead. “I… I can’t explain it, Cerci. I really wish I could.” In the back of her mind, she recalled seething back pains; her rump and waistline ballooning like a bloated tick; popping pills like candy; meeting after meeting about armies, hundreds of thousands of emigrating changelings, and the kingdom’s infrastructure’s slow, inevitable collapse. She only wanted to put her static thoughts to syllables. “All I know is something inside me... snapped— I-I,” she swallowed hard, “And I took it all out on Pupa when she was only trying to apologize for something so trivial.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Remember?” Chrysalis used her magic to make a folded piece of paper poof out of thin air. It was creased and worn already, having endured much in its short time in the possession of the shattered queen.
Cerci eyed it with curiosity as she inhaled deeply, still panting from the exertion from her rant, “What is it?”
Chrysalis silently proffered it to her and when she unfolded the paper, she gasped, hiding her mouth behind her hoof. It was Pupa’s little ‘SORY’ picture, the one which featured mother and daughter frolicking happily together and basking in the sun. The one she must have been drawing that dreadful night to make amends after she doodled on her mother’s documents. Cerci shifted with widening eyes from the drawing to Chrysalis, then to the drawing again, and finally, back to her.
“You have no idea how much I’ve cried over that,” Chrysalis’ expression and the tone in her voice were now both void of emotion, and yet Cerci could still sense the broken heart within the queen.
“Why are you showing me this?”
“You don’t want to forgive me, Cerci? Fine, I can live with that,” she stated, shrugging her shoulders defeatedly. “But you must believe me when I say I’ll hold this shame for the rest of my life, whether Pupa forgives me or not, and I am going to use everything in my power to right my wrongs. Now, I don’t expect you to do any of this for me, but…” She cleared her throat, trying to see into the disheveled mare’s eyes, her own begging. “But I know you would do it for that filly who needs you just as much you need her.” She placed both hooves on her remarkably thin shoulders, pleading with her, “... Please, Cerci.”
For the longest time, the ex-servant remained in deep thought, hold the picture close to her chest and refusing to meet her eyes while the Queen stood there and waited. When she lifted her head up, her thin lips worked their way into the faintest of smiles.
Minutes later, the jailer mare was beckoned back to the cell and instructed to fetch her keys.
Princess Celestia did not imagine herself walking the hallways of the changeling palace in this generation or the next. The last time she was here was during the reign of King Thorax when relationships between their countries were much more cordial and low-key. His daughter had done little redecorating since her ascension to the throne; her photographic memory recognized many of the same tapestries and pictures as before still hanging from the walls.
‘I can tell they still haven’t done anything about that smell.’ She wrinkled up her muzzle, the smells of old dust and what she assumed was mould sticking to the back of her throat.
Following her departure from Chrysalis, the Princess took to roaming the palace while the former went off to take care of her family business. It was better than going back to her guest room (which had not seen a proper dusting in years) where the only thing to read was obscure changeling poetry. She had done enough to help; the rest was up to Chrysalis.
The changeling guards who patrolled outside her room insisted that if she was to have her little tour around the palace, it was essential she had an escort go with her. However, with a simple glow of her horn, suddenly the guards found they could make an exception and let her be on her way.
She turned a corner, which she initially thought unremarkable, until she saw the neat row of ornate picture frames on the left-hoof wall. In the dark, it was harder to make the images out, but she soon deducted them as portraits of the royal line of changeling queens and kings. A smile appeared on her lips as she walked past them one-by-one. Seeing all these old, familiar faces was a trip down memory lane for Celestia.
Queen Mayfly was the first following the Scaragowa Shogunate’s collapse, young and emboldened by her new political power but also ready to begin first stages of the Equestrianization of the Changeling Kingdom. There was also the fearsome Kuwagata with all his mighty armies and his dream of building his empire. And then there was Cocoon II, a wise and accomplished Cocoon whose reign was, many historians concurred, was too short for the changelings’ good.
With each passing portrait, Celestia observed with a certain sense of sobriety how more and more sickly and weak the royal changelings appeared, and it created this ill feeling in the pit of her stomach.
'
The generations of inbreeding were taking their toll; the ancient Roachanov bloodline was wearing down to an inevitable trickle. So much was riding on that filly recuperating in the hospital, for as Chrysalis’ only child, she was the only living Roachanov eligible for the throne, as changeling customs dictated. If Pupa failed to bear an egg, a prospect that seemed likely, or worse died, died before she ascended the throne, one of the oldest dynasties in the world could very well be in its dying throes.
As she stopped at the end of the hallway, she sighed, taking a moment to mourn for her old comrades. She rested her hoof on the last golden frame and looked upon its likeness and frowned.
King Thorax Roach, father of Chrysalis, grandfather to Pupa. There was not a lot Celestia had to say to describe the blunt, high-hooved last changeling king other than that he was an unquestionable product of his time. He was brought up a stallion in a society where mares’ natural superiority was routinely drummed into his head, which alone did not do wonders for a young colt’s developing sense of self-worth. But when you happened to heir to the throne as well... there were extra thick, award-winning books written on this literary goldmine.
It was Chrysalis, she understood, who suffered in her upbringing from the extremely high expectations passed down from him. However harsh it may sound, the mare Chrysalis grew up to become was no shocking outcome at all. Perhaps even more cruel, had Pupa not been born so mentally and physically stunted, she may very well have been subject to a similar fate.
‘That poor filly,’ she thought, lowering her head. ‘She never asked to be a part of any of this. Perhaps... it’s for her own good she can’t understand.'
A growl rumbled from her belly, echoing throughout the hall and causing her pristine white cheeks to flush crimson.
‘Well, at least nopony was around to hear that.’ Celestia sheepishly grinned after looking over her shoulder. She gave her belly a soothing rub and trotted off in search of the palace kitchen. ‘I could do with something to eat. I haven’t had changeling cake in a long time...’
It took her half an hour to find it in this labyrinth of a palace, not including the dozens of dead ends she encountered along the way. The infuriating quest for nourishment pushed her generous patience to the point she was actually considering burning a hole through the wall.
By the time she finally reached the kitchen, Celestia’s hunger was worse than on the morning of the National Dessert Competition in Canterlot, but she forgot all about that once she stepped inside and flicked on the lights.
“W... Wow.”
Celestia knew changelings, their nobility especially, were notoriously big eaters, but…
“Wow,” she simply repeated. There was enough space to fit an entire sweatshop’s worth of changeling orphans in here to cook for entire villages, not to mention more stove burners and knife racks than she could count. The royal kitchen of Canterlot Castle was nowhere near as excessively grand by comparison.
“Hello?” she called out for anychangeling who may be still be here cooking, scanning the area, but the only response she received was an echoed ‘Hello?’ back.
‘Maybe I should wait until they come back,” Her stomach roared furiously with defiance. ‘Well... I suppose they won’t mind too much if I helped myself to a sandwich.’
Getting down to work, Celestia searched the pantry and by some minor miracle, happened upon a large jar of pickles. She had no idea if they were sweet pickles or dill; there was only one way to find out. Humming to herself, she set about a minor expedition about the unfamiliar surroundings for other things with which to make a proper sandwich, complete with pickles, mayonnaise, mustard, and ooh, several kinds of cheese.
In the middle of her preparation, she caught a proper look of the set of carving knives lined up inches from her face. Something about them made her cringe. Many of them were very big and serrated sharp, enough to carve up a whole pony…
“I want you to take these turnips upstairs and store them in the fridge.” Celestia heard a mare’s irate voice coming from a small doorway in the corner of the room, one that led down a narrow staircase.
She froze where she stood, like a filly with her hoof caught in the cookie jar, listening to the sound of hoofsteps ascending the stairs and a downtrodden stallion speak, “Yes, ma’am.”
“And store them neatly this time.”
What the Alicorn saw shamble up the stairs and into the kitchen made her nearly dropped both jar and jaw. The stallion was not a changeling at all, but a pony.
The wretched fellow had the appearance of a dirty, emaciated prison inmate, the kind who lost the prime of his life behind bars. What’s worse were the self-evident signs of changeling love-draining, such as visible ribcage and cheekbones.
The crates he was carrying on his back fell off once he saw her and the turnips scattered over the floor. His already paled beige face turned as white as the surface of Luna’s moon.
“P-P-Princess Celestia?!” he spluttered, the presence of his peoples’ matriarch making him completely forget about his job.
There were not words to describe the awkwardness filling the air.
Down below the stairs, the changeling mare who was giving the orders was handling the other crates of vegetables when she heard the crash. Gritting her teeth and seething in frustration, she dropped what she was doing and stormed up the stairs with murder on her mind.
“Heavy Duty?! Heavy Duty!” she barked as she reached the doorway. “Heavy Duty, if you’ve broken something again, I am going to... tooo...” Her anger, along with her ability for to form cohesive words vanished upon coming face-to-face with a giant white Alicorn glaring down at her with her expression that made adamantly clear she was not pleased.
“Would somepony here like to tell me what’s going on?” she asked the unlucky mare in a voice so dark it made the unlucky mare shrink before her and feel like she was about to moult.
Cerci’s left you!
Nochangeling wants you!
Pupa writhed under her quilts, her little face strained with pain. Her little chest heaved up and down, constricted by the tight bandages. The fur of her face glistened in the dark from thick beads of sweat. The filly wanted to sleep some more, but the voices came back screaming in her ears soon after the doctors and nurses finished up and left her be. Now they were louder and meaner than ever before.
She mewled for attention, but was still so weak nochangeling outside her room could hear.
Nochangeling was going to come and that fact made her break down whimpering. What if they never came to fetch her and leave her here alone in the dark forever?
Feeling something breathing gently against her face, her peeled, misty eyes made out the weird red bird on the bed with her. It nuzzled her cheek with its smooth beak, but something about the bird’s presence was particularly soothing.
Pupa put her foreleg around the creature’s back, indulging in the incredible softness of its preened feathers. It reminded her of her love of freshly brushed manes, and one particularly memory back at the breakfast table when she spotted her cousin’s pretty and newly styled mane and she was overwhelmed by her desire to grab it all for herself. Then she remembered her mother’s disapproving glare...
Mother’s going to kill you!
“She’s in here. Just be gentle around her, she’s still in a fragile state.”
“I know how to handle her.”
She heard two grown-up changelings talking outside. One of them sounded familiar for some reason, enough to make her head roll over to look at the light emanating from the cracks.
The door opened and Pupa’s squinched her sensitive eyes shut from the light flooding the room. She heard hooffalls rapidly clicking against the floor tiles.
“Pupa?”
Her tired eyes sparked with life and her pupils dilated. That voice. She recognised it.
“Get away from her, you little—!”
Philomena cawed and took flight, narrowly dodging a magical bolt that singed a couple of her feathers, disappearing into the dark.
Cerci knelt down at the bedside, taking Pupa’s diddy hoof in her own and carefully scooping up the back of her head with the other.
The nanny, newly reinstated, was still very unkempt and undignified in her present state; having just been released from a changeling prison, she was at least relieved of that filthy uniform and given the chance of a decent washing.
“Baby?” she said with motherly tenderness dripping from her voice, restraining herself for Pupa’s sake. “Baby, it’s me. It’s Cerci!”
Pupa seemed confused for a second or two, but as her innocent eyes gazed up at her, recognition fully set in. The corners of her lips stretched out into the widest of smiles. Gurgling with excitement, she tried with all her strength to lift her bandaged legs and reach out to hug her.
Cerci smiled right back at the little hatchling, and with a surge of love and joy, gently scooped up the bandaged filly into her hooves, mindful of her injuries. She noted the wires, working expertly around them as she slid into the bed with Pupa, cooing softly. They snaked from the heart monitor, which reflected the filly’s excitement upon seeing her favorite nanny again.
“Oh, my little Pupa, I’m so happy you’re safe!” she planted a fat wet kiss on her forehead and wiped shedding tears from her own eyes as she very much engulfed the filly within her chest. “I—I thought I lost you!” After languishing for days in prison, being reunited with her young one overwhelmed her so much it felt like a balloon inflating within her stomach.
But as Pupa drunk in the cushy warmth of her beloved nanny’s hug, she felt her eyes spring a leak; she was remembering it now. All of it. Her mother… hurt her. Every harsh word and every heavy blow from her giant hooves felt fresh against her skin. Her quiet weeping quickly turned into full-blown sobs.
It was not something she could explain, but somehow, Cerci understood perfectly why she was crying without having to ask a word. Be it her maternal instinct, or because they had been together for so long that to her, Pupa’s gurgles and cries were a foreign language only she was fluent in.
She looked into her shimmering green eyes and ran her hoof over her cheek. “It’s okay, baby, d-don’t cry,” she shushed her in her own wobbling voice. “Please don’t cry. Everything’s going to be okay now. Cerci’s here, mommy has you...”
The Princess could only bury her head again in Cerci’s chest and cry louder and harder. The weight of Cerci’s guilt crushed her. She adjusted herself more comfortably in bed with her and pulled up the blankets, not loosening her grasp for a second.
“My poor baby, shh…” Slowly, she rocked Pupa back and forth, and with all her love gushing out of her like a waterfall, smothered her little hatchling with endless smooches. “I-I’m so sorry I left you alone, Pupa, I’m so sorry! Shhh!”
Pupa calmed down a bit and tearfully returned her kisses, which ended up getting long sticky trails of fresh dribble all over Cerci’s cheek. She paid no notice. All that mattered to her was making her darling happy again for the first time in days.
“Are you feeling better now, honey?” she asked after what felt like an eternity of undisrupted hugging and kissing. Pupa nodded, still snuffling, so Cerci gave her horn a flick. In a flash of light, a large stuffed ladybug toy appeared floating in mid-air. “Look, I’ve brought somechangeling for you.”
The sight of her favourite toy made Pupa squeal with delight and she greedily snatched it for herself, wiping her wet tears off on its freshly cleaned plush.
While Cerci silently observed their little reunion with adoration, a silent, sinking feeling came over her. The more she dwelt on it, it struck her just how close this all came to not happening.
‘Never again,’ she thought to herself determinedly beneath her smile. ‘I’ll never let you out of my sight again, Pupa, I promise.’
“... You’ve missed Lady, haven’t you?”
The filly opened her mouth and gave an exceptionally loud yawn; it was now time to settle down and catch some much-needed snoozes.
“Shut your eyes, Pupa, it’s time for night-night,” Cerci cooed and shuffled in closer when she began whimpering again. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
And so both nanny and filly curled up together and let their heavy eyes shut, the latter squeezing Lady and nuzzling into the crook of Cerci’s neck even farther. In their shared silence, Pupa did not even notice the bad voices had faded away. The steady rhythm of the heart monitor had taken their place.
“Do you want me to sing for you?” Cerci asked almost soundlessly into her ear. “Like I did when you were little? Would you like that, Pupa?”
“Mmm hmm.”
Cerci cleared her throat and began to sing in her dovish voice.
“Nennen korori yo, Okorori yo
Bōya wa yoi ko da, Nenne shina”
Pupa started sucking on Lady’s ‘head’ like a pacifier, and nodded her head rhythmically to the tune of her favourite hatchling lullaby.
“Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta
Ano yama koete, Sato e itta”
Keeping one eye half open on her, Cerci gently massaged the foal’s back, tracing an oval pattern over her plush fur.
“Sato no miyage ni, Nani morotta
Denden taiko ni, Shō no fue”
Before long, the Princess, who had suffered so much for a changeling her age in only days, fell asleep against her carer’s bosom with the most serene of smiles on her face.
“I love you, darling,” was the last thing she heard before dreams overtook her. “And I always will.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.071 seconds
Total duration
938 users online
1,359,194 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well damn..
Part of me wants to believe Chrysalis is pretending to be Cercei so she can get her daughter to love her again, but that's also the part that jumps at every shadow so I tend to ignore it.
4270232 to be fair the kittens were just animals basically. and if it weren't the changeligns it would be something else.
You mean tail? Or is Cerci trailing a storyscroll
Less than pleasing.
4354641 Not sure if that really makes it any more okay, though.
4354682 Ah, thank you for pointing that out. I've corrected it.
4354686 Oh. Really? Well, I am sorry to hear that.
4354694 No problem!
4354694 shrugs. probably not. we only see her kill one, maybe. though i doubt they are smart enoguh t obuild anything. hell far as we know they just moved in after something else chased the inhabitants out.
4354694 I am very very sorry. But the chapter felt like an almost useless piece of fluff.
The only real interesting part was the supposed "Slavery", but even that was completely irrelevant to the entire story and seems like a cheap way to try and drag the story out for longer than it needs to be with the use of side stories.
Please don't beat the shit out of me sempai san.
4354749 Hey, it's okay, mate. If you didn't like, that's perfectly alright and I can appreciate your reasons. Everyone is entitled their opinion and while it is a bit disheartening to hear this chapter itself didn't do a lot for you, no hard feelings and I just hope you'll find more to enjoy in the following chapters, though the story is starting to reach its end. With the "Slavery" aspect, while I cannot give a lot away, I do assure you it serves an intended role later in the next chapters and ties up with the main plot.
But again, if you didn't like it, I can respect that.
every time this updates i get even more excited.
Well, it's nice to see that Chrysalis is taking steps forward... but she might end up taking a few back if what Celestia found is big enough...
4354993 Well, I won't give away too much, but there is indeed some 'splainin' to do.
So what did you think of the Pupa and Cerci's reunion scene?
I hope that Celestia just found out that Chrysalis is feasting on ponies, because that part never sat right with me. I never saw Celestia as being okay with that. So if she did just find out... yeah, that's going to create some amazing tension and conflict.
4355200 Okay, first of all, I just wanna say, it's honor to have you following my story. As for the second, well... it's a bit complicated, that's all I can say without giving away spoilers, but yeah, there is some 'splainin' to do.
Also, may I ask, what did you think of the reunion scene between Cerci and Pupa? I'm really hoping I got it down right.
4355236 It was nice, I suppose. I mean, I didn't shed a tear, or anything, but that's because I'm kind of a hard-hearted jerk. But it fit the tone of the story, and wasn't bad.
4355246 Well that's good to hear. And to just to let you know that in the meantime, I am working on other stories, one being a comedy called Citizen Weevil, just in case you're interested.
4354891 Glad to hear, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Nice update! I notice you were very serious in introducing a new story arc.
A couple of things:
1.- Chrysalis will at some point stand before her daughter and apologize.
2.- Celestia is going to want to know why there's a pony working for the changelings.
Keep it up! I always look forward to the updates on this story!
Just found your story today and wow just wow. i love it. though i possibly did the most heart breaking thing and listen to some really sad music at the same time, and i had to take a good long wait to even restart reading
. Awesome work of art you have here
Hmmm, I dont mind a pissed off Celestia in the changleing land.
Are we gonna get an explanation on the whole "pony in changeling castle" thing soon? I'm dying to know, and I'm sure Celestia is too!
Wow this was an amazing chapter as always! I can't wait to find out what celestia does !!
4355715
4356272
I would be more concerned about the ponies served up on the platters in the banquet hall earlier...
4355200
4354779
I certainly agree with BronyWriter. That scene was particularly disturbing. I cannot wait to see how you address that.
4355282
I know I'm interested. I really love your changeling universe. This is definitely going to the top of my "Read It Later" list.
4356458 It wasn't so much "disturbing" as... kinda dumb. I think the logistics of it made no sense. Especially with thousands upon thousands of changeling expatriates every year, I would imagine that at some point it would reach Celestia that there are pony slaves, and that the changelings are using the ponies for food. The fact that Celestia has no idea just baffles me.
4356458 Oddly enough MM did bring that up to me earlier. It's a good point and I'm looking forward to where he takes that.
Chryssi, you got some 'splainin to do! (about the pony servant)
4355007
Very well done. Not too fluffy, the right amount of drama involved. I liked it.
4359258 Well that's good.
4356463 I understand what you mean and that at it is, how it doesn't logically add up. But just remember, things are not always as they initially appear and hopefully, with the explanation in the next chapter, it will make more sense. I wish I could reveal more, but of course, spoilers.
4356272 You have my word.
4355715 Well, I wouldn't say a new 'story arc', but definitely subplot that will be addressed.
4356122 Great to hear.
4356076 Thank you. In fact, here's the video Cerci sings:
I finished reading it and Let's say that I'm pretty much at solace now that Pupa is finally happy. Even though I was expecting Chrysalis to appear and apologize to Pupa and ask for a second chance. But it's great that Cerci is alright and that she's taking care of baby Pupa once again.
BTW bonus points for the way you described Pupa when she was giving Cerci affection in her own way and when she was falling asleep. It was so innocent and sweet. In fact I love the way you described everything Pupa felt in this chapter. For an OC she's incredibly well written.
Even though I'm curious about one thing. Why was there a pony in the changeling kingdom? That will be addressed in the next chapter right?
I cried like a filly who stubbed her hoof!
I can't believe it took me until today to read this whole story. This is brilliant! Very emotional, very intense. Keep up the good work!
Sigh, about to read this again because I have no life and this story makes me cry every time:(
For some reason I.thought this fic wad finished when I started it, so my, my, I am pleasantly surprised to see that its still ongoing whoo hoo!
I do have a few concerns about the length though, if that makes any sense. With the exception of the pony slave/food source sideplot thing a ma jig, the entirety of the story seems more or less resolved. I would have imagined one more chapter, and that's that. Now, I'm just worried that Celestia's plot might overshadow darling Pupa's hopefully healthy recovery. :D
I'm sure this concern is trivial at most, since you are quite a magnificent writer. I'll be sure to keep my eyes peeled to future works of yours. <3
Hey everyone, I apologize immensely for not replying to some of your comments for a ridiculously long time. As Chapter 14 is well underway, even gradually nearing completion at this point, I feel it's high time I got off my lazily rump and finally answered some comments and questions brought up.
4361146 Thank you, I really appreciate it. One of my biggest concerns as I've been writing this story has been how well I could write a character like Pupa who cannot speak or even walk. As for the pony, do not worry, it shall be explained.
4405794 Well, I always did imagine that had fur coats, probably the more fuzzy-like kind you'd see on insects.
4463193 Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it. Concerning you the issue of length, have no fear, while the matter will be addressed, it won't be done in a way that it will overshadow Pupa and Chrysalis' main plot. Thanks again.
4467552 Why thank you, I'm glad you've enjoyed it so very much. I'm touched you think I'm a magnificent writer, truth be told, I'm often very critical of myself when it comes to writing. I wish you the best of luck with your writing.
4571471 4571998 Thank you for leaving your detailed thoughts on my story and sorry for the wait. I will do my best to address most of your points.
With the notion of reforms, I can't go into too much details without being too spoilery, there are some aspects of the changeling kingdom's government and structure that are hinted to be outdated and in need of change, but don't worry, they will be detailed. As for Pupa, well, honestly, she does not need to rule, more than she needs to just be alive and sit on the throne as the Head of State. As you can see in Chapter 8, when she ascends the throne, a regency council is going to be set up to effectively govern in her name while she is relegated as a figure head.
You've got a good point regarding Chrysalis' need for a healthier lifestyle. With Celestia smoking, errr... I feel rather ambivalent towards it now. I'm not sure whether or not to keep that when I give this story a revision. And that is also a well thought out analysis of Chrysalis' need for a friend who will be honest and open with her: her uncle Pincer does come very close, though of course, he can't possibly much up to somepony like Celestia. I suppose I may have to agree that next to Pincer, Cerci would be the changeling who fits the bill the closest.
Yes, Changelings here do have fur, but I imagine much coarser and fuzzier than a pony's, much more insect-like. As for the insect-mammal ratio, well, I suppose I do lean more towards the pony aspect, since so many other authors focus far much more on the insect side of things. I personally view changelings as genetic cousins of ponies, just with a more insect/vampire/demon base to them. I wouldn't be surprised if they were closely related to, if not are Flutterponies
4696648 Do not worry, the matter will be addressed.
4776857
(for some reason I didn't get a note that you replied)
An idea could be to cut the size of the army in half but keep the budget the same. From the description it sounds like the army is seriously underfunded and mostly useless. Maybe try to reform it into a smaller but actually effective fighting force. It may be the way to get reforms past the conservatives. Then if the army is smaller you can maybe cut a few corners and lower the budget later.
I doubt that Pupa can even be a figurehead properly. It could still very well be the end of the monarchy. If Pupa is a powerless puppet than maybe they no longer want a queen after her.
Celestia's smoking is not ideal but if outside of that she has a healthy lifestyle I think it will be fine.
Pincer can't do it, he has already proven that. Cerci is the only one besides Celestia that has truly stood up against Chrysalis.
'Pupa' means 'ass' in Polish. This caused some chuckles early in the story.
4874216 that comment is so perfect! xD
I just noticed the title-drop on my fifth read.
D'awwww...
Huh, I'm somehow not surprised that they have pony slaves.
I wonder if Chryssie couldn't try and elope with someling from outside of the ruling family to inject some fresh genes into the pool.
takeoff of the Romanov family. clever.
How sweet. :')