Igniting Hope

by Theta

Step 1:Getting away

(This is anthromorphism, meaning ponies are more of a hybrid between ponies and humans. In this story, ponies will have hands and hooves, and will dress in human attire.)

There I sat, front row, window seat; on a train going away. My wings pressed against my back, the feeling was and still is strange to me. It’s a feeling that I do not care for, something she always had me do. I care not for where I was going, so long as it was away from here; a long ways away. I had no idea how long this ride would be, but I hoped it would be fast; I didn't want any part of my past catching up with me. Tears trickled down my cheeks, my eyes were a red mess, and my life in pieces. This was the last straw, the breaking point, and nothing could be worse. I could never go back, never, never, never... he was practically my brother.

I left behind a great friend, an amazing dad, and my very way of life. Albeit, my father and....him were the only things keeping me sane back there, it was still better than nothing. While my dad was a great guy, always supportive of whatever I chose to do, he couldn't do anything to help me overcome this. I loved him, and he was always the favorite of my two parents, but Nastic Winter was always there, keeping my sanity intact; even when things went to hell. From our first game, all the way through my parents divorce; he was there. But now, as we face college scholarships, he had to be taken away. Celestia, this wasn't fair. He had so much more to live for, much more than I; why not me? Why take him, his future was bright, and mine so dull.

While I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket, I realized that it was pointless trying to conceal my tears and it had only made it worse. I wanted to cry, no I needed to cry. I didn’t care who saw me, who judged me, who knew me. They don’t know what happened. They have no idea what, no who, I had lost. They didn’t understand how much I had depended on him, how long we had known each other; how much we had gone through. I glared down at my lacrosse stick, wanting both to break it and to cling onto it, and found that I could only stare at it. Not much else I could've done, not much else I wanted to do, not much else that could be done.

By Celestia, my mom was right; sports were a lost cause. They did nothing but play with your emotions, letting you believe the impossible, and in the end do nothing to improve ones life. I could have studied harder, go into college for my brains, not my athletic ability. Maybe if I had done that I could have avoided this tragic incident. Maybe I wouldn’t be running. No, that’s stupid. Even if I had quit, he wouldn’t have. By the stars, I’d give anything to see him one last time, to say what I should have said, to say a final “peace, dude”. I’d send my soul to Tartarus just to see him again. I’d ship it first class, overnight to the Discord himself.

I had taken a quick look around, and seeing nopony in this cart, I decided to lay my head back and try to catch some sleep. I didn’t know how far 250 bits could get me, but I know it would buy me at least three hours of sleep. Finally, I closed my tired eyes, I could only see his final moments.

Seeing that ball hit Nastic square in the chest; the doctor saying his death was instant. The memory wasn’t but a few hours old at that point, the game had ended when my best friend keeled over. And it was my fault, I had to throw the damn ball. I couldn’t have held onto it like a normal player would have. The thought of it made my stomach churn, I killed him! It was my fault. I will never let this down, I will never forget this. I just wanted him to get that goal, and guarantee a college scholarship. I could never go now... both because they didn’t want me, and the fact it wouldn’t have been right. I couldn’t do that to “Natti”.

The car ride back to my mom’s place was everything but silent. She didn’t feel sympathy towards anything that just happened, and instead of a silent car ride, which I preferred in the first place, it was a lecture. I heard it all before, but now it was like rubbing salt and lemon juice in an open wound. It stung, and it stung real bad; it was a low blow, even by her standards.

“What did I tell you? All sports bring are wild emotions and sadness. But no, you couldn’t just study, like I wanted you to. You had to chase your silly dreams. You had to play your stupid game. ‘There was no other way you could get into college’, you said. I hope this teaches you a lesson. I hope this makes you quit that stupid sport. I hope you can never go anywhere near that game again.” Her voice so metallic, so cold.

I didn't respond. I couldn’t respond to that. Growing up, I never believed in that phrase ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’, but now I’d rather have my bones broken than listen to this. This had hurt me more than the time I had broken my ribs, more than my first concussion. In my mind, the guilt hurt worse than dying.

“When we get home, wash all your pads, your jersey, and yourself. You’ll have to look presentable when you sell all of your gear.”

By that point, the tears were rolling freely out of my eyes, running down my cheek like water in a stream. No sobs, no runny nose; just tears. I stared directly at the floor of the car, unable to lift my head. I didn’t want anyone to see me right now. I didn’t want to talk. Silence is what I wished for, a silence to remember him. I felt the back of a hand slap the back of my head.

“...Are you even listening to me? I said you’re no longer allowed to go over to your fathers house. I’m going out tomorrow to get full custody over you, since he is obviously a bad influence on you.”

No, I thought. Not that! Anything but that! The day had officially gone from horrible, to downright shitty. I knew about the bad blood between my parents, but I had always sided with my dad. If anything, he would’ve had some empathy towards my situation. He would have tried his best to cheer me up.

“Are you daft, child?! Get your flank inside the house!”

I looked up, and had realized that we were sitting in the driveway of my moms house. I didn’t respond, just opened the door and ran inside, straight to my room. I couldn’t stay there, not with her. She was the last person I wanted to live with. I quickly grabbed my Canterlot Guard jacket, threw on a pair of jeans,a white undershirt and laced up my brown leather boots. I packed a small bag that consisted of a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, a few lacrosse balls, and a team picture, along with my wallet. As I headed towards the door, that inhumane voice cut into my eardrums, “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

With my eyes still leaking tears, I responded in the same cold voice directed at me, “Away.”

And that was it. I heard the stereotypical ‘You’ll regret this’, and ‘Don’t come back!’. Heh. Hell, I didn’t even plan on looking back. She didn’t really care, she just wanted the check that came in the mail every month. She never cared, she never wanted to see me succeed. I was a scapegoat for everything she did wrong in her life, everything she regretted. Everything she needed to scream about.

“How much far will 250 bits get me?”, I asked, half not even paying attention

Mumbling was all I heard in response.

“I’ll take one ticket there,” I said coldly, laying out the currency on the desk and retrieving the offered ticket, uncaring about where I was headed.

Grumble... My eyes fluttered open, the realisation that I had forgot to pack food hitting me like a brick wall. Hmmm wonder how much longer this train ride will be... My ears quickly perked up from the flatness of my head, I had found directly behind me was a family of four; a mother, daughter, son, and father. Perfect family, I thought, Hope they don’t have the problems mine did. I rose out of my seat, needing a good stretch, as my wings were pressed against my back for far too long. Man, am I hungry. Walking down the aisle towards the bathroom, I bump into a co-conductor, “Hey, dude, you know how far we are away from the destination?” I quickly inquired, still unsure of where exactly I was going.

“Hmm. Well, it’s been about three hours since we left Coltcinnati, so I’d say we’re about halfway to Ponyville,” the earth pony said, checking his watch.

“Thanks, bro,” I hastily replied, “Excuse me, I gotta take a leak,”
Ahh, sweet relief, I thought as I emptied my bladder. Man, three more hours on this thing. Two hundred and fifty bits can get a pony far, after all. I went to wash my hands, but I noticed that instead of a sink, there was a sanitizer dispenser. Ugh, I hate the smell of this stuff. Walking out of the small washroom, the realisation dawned on me, I could have gone to my old man’s place...by Celestia, I’m stupid. He’s probably worried sick, I should call him when I get to this...Ponyville, was it?

With nothing else to do, I decided to just go back to sleep. In the least, it should have been an adequate cover up for my crying. Closing my eyes and drifting into sleep, his face appeared almost immediately before my closed eyes. The strangest thing was...he didn’t look angry...

“No way....no bucking way!” I screamed in my head. “I-is it really you? Why now? I killed you...nonononononononono...” the memories flooding back into my head.

“Bro, you gotta calm down. Everything’s fine, I’m not mad. I couldn’t be mad at my brother, not after all these years, dude,” he maintained his usual calm face, and soothing voice. No anger could be detected in his voice, nothing!

“But I-I-I-I-I killed you! You shouldn’t be calm, man! You’re dead! Shouldn't you, I don’t know, be pissed at me?” I asked, stuttering with both nervousness and disbelief.

“My time was coming sooner or later, man. I just...y’know, accepted it. Look, I don’t get much time here. I just want you to know- I forgive you. And you were the best dude I ever knew. Please, just live your life. Don’t dwell on this, don’t forget me.”
And with that, he vanished.

Quickly jolting upwards from my slumber, I found myself yelling, “NOOOO!” Like clockwork, the waterworks decided to turn on again. Tears flooded from my eyes, still reeling from the dream. Luna be damned, goodbyes are never easy. “You may forgive me, but I never will. I promise never to forget you,” I quietly mumbled.

Waking up for the third time was weird, it's been awhile since I had been that wishy-washy with sleep. I noted that the sun was on the horizon and about to set, I figure I had been out for about two hours, give or take. Damn, should have grabbed my watch, or at least remembered to grab my cell (phone). Looking down, I noticed that my bag rolled under my seat, and that my lacrosse stick was strewn across the floor. I felt my cheeks go red, unsure of whether or not it showedunder my brown fur, I hate attracting any unnecessary attention.

I was almost certain I was talking in my sleep, because looking around I was met with alien stares and odd looks directed at me. Why did he have to visit in my dreams, Celestia, that’s going to make it so much harder to leave everything behind. Taking a quick glance at my stick, I noticed that the shooting strings were coming loose. Finally, something that can take my mind off him. I easily undid the strings, manipulating them with no effort. I’m quite OCD when it comes to stringing and taping my stick. I decided to put one up top, near the top of the head and instead of doing one directly under that, I made two U’s. One small and one large, to create a better channel for the ball to travel down, ultimately making my shots and passes more accurate. Here’s so that an accident like that, will never happen again.

I reached into my bag, and fished out a lacrosse ball. Hard to believe a rubber thing like this can kill. I carefully set the ball into the pocket of the stick, which for me, sat high on the head. This meant that I had more hold on the ball, which meant I had to pass and shoot higher and harder to dislodge the ball; basically it meant that I had a stronger shot. Instinctively, I immediately start rocking the ball in my stick, cradling is what most called it. Glancing out the window, I came to the realisation that the sun had set, and the destination was close.

Author's Note:

EDIT 5/22/2013 Ironically, I had an English paper to write about a month ago that I really didn't feel like doing, so I took part of this chapter and used it instead. Call it lazy, but it was also an easy A! Anyway, thought that was ironic, in the sense that writing for this website is truly making me a better writer (something that I never expected).
-Theta

Comments

[Pyromaniac]

I actually kind of liked this. More description on the main charry's looks and you'd be great!

[Theta]

1705165 thanks man! Dont worry, his description will be in the next chapter!

[Blue Moon24]

Interesting