• Member Since 24th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 25th, 2017

CanterlotGuardian


Derpy, Pinkie Pie, Sweetie Belle, Chrysalis. Myself, summed up in four MLP characters. I'm a deeply flawed individual, but if you can get past that, I'm sure we can be the best of friends.

E

The first time I saw her eyes, they struck a chord within my soul. One that I have never experienced before. It was like I was coming alive for the first time.

But it was only a glimpse, and then she was gone. I am not going to let this go, though. I will discover who she is, why she is here... and why fate almost brought us together.

My name is Octavia, and I will stop at nothing to find her.

[Rejected by Equestria Daily on 12 December 2012. Now featured on Canterlot's Finest.]

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 144 )

Holy fucking shit im the first one to comment.

Dat Synopsis. It's rather backwards from what I usually see. I like that. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl2.png
I'll be back after reading...

Edit:
Okay, wow. I really enjoyed that. Like, really, really enjoyed. I'll get my criticisms over with fast—I promise there isn't much.
1) There are a couple of places where the prose gets a little bit heavy, where the dialogue sorta made me stumble slightly. Really though, one or two places in a 7k+ word story is a pretty good job.
2) There are places in the story where, if I knew better, I'd probably be screaming "author surrogate!" I hate to say it, because it's a sign of how damn cynical life and the internet have made me, but such an overtly simple love story in any other fandom would make me sick. Here, well, I suppose we're sorta used to TaviScratch. With that said...
I'm really not a person who believes in love at first sight, so that colors my perceptions rather heavily, but it really does all just seem too basic. Instead of trying to win hearts and overcome differences, it's just a scavenger hunt to happiness, which seems, well, too easy.

Now, all that should be taken with the usual grain of salt that comes inherent with opinions, because overall, I loved this story. I realize full well that it's not really a story about the plot and the connections, but rather an introspective piece. It's an emotional fic, and you captured it brilliantly, from desperation to fulfillment.
More than anything, though, I'm rather blown away by the fact that you can write and put out this story in the course of a DAY. That's unreal. I never do that, mostly by choice because my first drafts are always so paltry. Hell, Somepony Else's Story sat in my documents being worked on for at least three weeks, and my current story has been ongoing for almost three MONTHS. There's so few errors and such a flowing style and scope to your work that I'm finding it VERY hard to believe that you only finished this an hour or two ago. I may have a way with words and a solid knowledge of writing and dynamics, but you have that AND a kind of skill at improvisation that I certainly do not have and can hardly comprehend of, and you may officially color me impressed.

PS: I'll be keeping an eye on this, and I swear to Luna, if it doesn't get the respect it deserves in the next few weeks, I will pimp it out to every forum I know of.
PPS: If you want to take a run at EqD, please keep me in mind for possible editing.

I smell the Featured box

I will read this later when I have the time. For now I'll leave you with a fave and thumb's up. :twilightsmile:

1714188
How dare you be first to comment!? The coveted role of first commenter has once again eluded my grasp :applecry:!
But in all seriousness pretty good story, made me want to keep reading until the end.

you are a mare of your word.”

Good job, I really enjoyed this story. It was different from the other Scratchtavia stories I've read.

That cover:trixieshiftright:
That synopsis :rainbowhuh:
That story :twilightsmile:

...

:eeyup:
Good

This....this is good. Really good. I wish you hadn't ended it where you did, but at the same time it leaves much to the imagination. You've done good today. You have more than earned a thumbs up, favorite, and I will send a few friends towards this story as well.

In Nomine Equi is the title you're probably looking for. "In the name of a pony." :twilightsmile:

I first thought I'd like to see a chapter or three more, but no - this ends just as it needs to. Nice take on a particular slice of a common ship. Thumbs up!

1716486
Hmm. I thought the word "equi" was the plural of "equus". Ah well, my mistake. I'll change it.

1718744

It's both - the possessive singular and the nominative plural are identical for that word.

1718885
Apparently I need to go to school and take a Latin class or two :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for the lesson!

Outstanding my good sir.
This was, without a doubt, art. :twilightsmile:
Have a like, a favorite, and mustache :moustache:

M8ght I request an encore? :pinkiehappy:

Wow.... in under 8k words you broke me. Very good job I look forward to reading more of your work.

1743584
Hmm. I hadn't planned on writing something else on this vein, but I suppose I could try to come up with something.

1743584
M8ght i completely agree with you on some levels :pinkiehappy:
but i believe the only way to continue with this story would be to jump forward to the future of them, possibly a reminiscing fic, but it could really ruin it, so I say leave it as it is now. as a beautifully written fic. :raritywink:
leave the future to your own headcannons, and maybe write your own little sequel?

I can hardly wait for the next chapter :twilightsmile: this is awesome!

1777008 My thought was along the lines of their relationships developing, hardships being overcome...etc. I don't care as much about their relationship once it's concluded, I'd just like to reach its zenith, first.

true, I see where you're coming from with that
I like the idea, but I am also a fan of shipfics showing life after the mad rush, where things have relaxed a little and the couple are looking back on how things have changed over the years or so

Wow, that was very well written. The emotions shown by Octavia through the piece were perfect and well paced. I'm not very good at critical analysis of fics to knows how "good" this otherwise was but I very much so enjoyed reading this story.

Lovely. The emotion was true and deep, I am the emotional type so as I read I was feeling right along with Tavi. Wonderful job. :twilightsmile:

:moustache: Take all my Internets, d'awws and mustaches. Even all my yes. Y'all deserve it. :scootangel:

That was awesome! Loved it intensely!! :heart: VinylxOctavia is best ship to!!:heart:

Just wow, this was masterfully written:derpyderp1:.... so my question now is, Why in the buck was this rejected?!?:twilightangry2:

1832954
where do I start? :rainbowlaugh: seriously, my rejection letter was like two pages long.

1835068 Two pages? jeeze . Well as it stands I hope to see more Tavi Scratch goodness from ya.:pinkiehappy:

1836338
it may not be a direct sequel to this story (as some have vehemently requested I do) but I do have plans for a few more Taviscratch stories in the future.

I like it.

What on earth came over her? they would ask.

There is either capitalization error or something else I can't discern, it just sounds off to me.
Also, you used "Oh My God" in this story when it should be Gosh. It is a personal thing, I know, but the word God doesn't fit in the MLP canon.
That's my two cents on this story, looking forward to more:twilightsmile:

1867000
...dammit. I meant to change that to "oh my goddess"... thanks for the reminder, let me fix that right quick.

Wonderful work. I would love another chapter that would explain why Vinyl was behind the building yelling like that. Why her manager would not tell her that it was Vinyl could also be explored.

I cannot, for the life of me, see why you would get a two page rejection letter. This story was very well written, and only had a couple of little things that needed ironing out. (Which were pointed out in previous comments.)

I have a feeling you got a sour pre-reader. I hope that it does well, if you sent it in again.

1901202
Thanks, mate. You're not the only pony who's requested a bit more back-story in this vein, so I might just have to break down and do it. :derpytongue2:

I like what you've done with the place. It's a nice change of pace from classic shipping plots. First-person narrative is rare, but I find it far more engaging than second or third, and you've captured Octavia's personality rather well. I wondered what Vinyl had been yelling about, but I assume it had to do with the irony of her situation--she had swathes of fans who adore her to the point of emulating her appearance, yet she still had nopony who saw her any deeper than that.

1938729
...wow. you actually hit that one right on the dot. yeah, that's exactly what she was so upset about. if I do end up writing a sequel/spin-off piece to this, it'll go into much further depth on that.

This was amazingly good! I really enjoyed reading this!
Then again, put Vinyl Scratch and Octavia in a story, add a romance tag and im instantly in love with it... :heart:

That story. It was epic and filled with feels; jolly good show sir/madam!
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8055-Beautiful.gif

1988188
I love that gif. Vinyl is one damn sexy pone.

2052551
so many people asking for moar... I might just have to break down and do it.

I don't know how in the world I haven't faved this before. Mistake fixed. :twilightsmile:

2074219
:pinkiegasp: I... I feel so honored...

2074233
Now I feel very embarrassed :twilightsheepish:

Login or register to comment