Goddammit Pinkie Pie
Twilight looked up from the scroll she was working on. Rolling her head, her neck gave a small popping sound, she reflected upon her words. The scroll was nearly completely filled and next to it lay two that were already black with ink. Today's report was a rather long one. It felt good to have learned such a valuable lesson in friendship.
She glanced up at the clock and blanched. Her purple coat made it hard to tell, but the blood had drained from the studious unicorn's face. Six o'clock. That meant that any second now-
Twilight gave a yelp as a large pink blur wized passed her, knocking over her inkwell. Fortunately it was almost empty. "Holy Shit! Pinkie Pie! Where the fuck did you come from!" Twilight cried out in shock.
"I came in through the goddamn fucking door, Twilight!" Pinkie bounced in place, a sugary grin, almost infectious in its cheer, adorned her face.
'Any-fucking-pony else and that would have been on purpose,' Twilight thought.
Pinkie gave a loud Woo! "Now let's break this shit down and party our asses off! Yeah!" She punctuated her exclamation by kicking out with her back legs to a no-doubt thumping base line only she could hear.
"Fucking hell, Pinkie! Cool your shit."
Twilight looked up to see that Rainbow had followed her fuck toy into the library.
"We'll have the fucking party after she finishes her damned report." Dash poked Pinkie's mane to emphasize her statement. "It'll take less than a minute if you shut the hell up."
Pinkie stuck her tongue out at the irate pegasus. "Fuck that shit! I've got eight cakes and I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of them." Pinkie pressed her muzzle into Dash's so far their foreheads touched. Her eyes widened and took on an intensity that very few ever saw in the pink party pony. "Right. Fucking. Now!" Sometimes Twilight wondered who wore the bridle in that relationship.
"Pinkie Pie, calm the fuck down. Dash is right, I'll be done in a goddamn second if you stop fucking knocking over all of my shit."
A voice rang out from the doorway, "Oh, Twilight."
'Dammit all to hell.' That tone of disappointment could only belong to one pony.
"Why are you such a fucking potty mouth?" Fluttershy asked softly.
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Indeed, Twilight... why? Has all the fanfiction written by people who think "shit" is a witty exclamation finally corrupted you?
...
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/g/src/132564432370.jpg
Good day.
LOL!
All I want to know is what the lesson was that Twilight was writing about. Was the first paragraph talking about the magic of swearing and the rest of the page and the other two pages a list of all the swear words she had learnt?
Whatever lonely bastard decides to bitch about this being a bad story can go take every goddamn cactus they see and shove it right up their fucking shit hole!
This story taught me all sorts of neat words I can use in my day to day life!
BWAHAHA
Um..
Fuck a mailbox!.
Shit damn.
Ass.
I admit, I laughed the whole way through. Bravo.
It Was Fantabulistic....Bender Finds it Awesome ^^
I approve.
Dear god that was amazing.
Sequel?
Should I feel bad that I read this and laughed the whole way through? Or that I actually want more stories like this?
Reminds me of APPLE.MOV actually. There is something strangely funny about the nonsensical amount of swearing.
FUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM ULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT SS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLCS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS UN HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKR MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSUCK SHIT ASMOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULSHT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASSFUCK SHIT ASS BITCH CUM BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT HELL FUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JACKASS!!!!
Have a nice day
122401 WTF SOME OF THOSE AR
NT EVEN CUSS WORDS
That... was... HILARIOUS!!!
I wonder how Celestia's going to take this letter...
Haha! Fluttershy swearing. I smiled as soon as Pinkie Pie cussed with a wde grin on her face. This was a great parody! Keep up the great work!
Loved it so much kits :D
122091
122453
>>everypony
umad?
img.ponibooru.org/_images/6b2b3093b950a646417a6cd8d7d2a2e9/102458%20-%20animated%20applejack%20dead_space%20fluttershy%20fuck_you_and_fuck_your_marker%20internet_fight%20pinkie_pie%20rainbow_dash%20rarity%20twilight_sparkle.gif
ROFL.
I... I actually wish this were longer. XD I just... I don't even... *collapses in a fit of giggles*
...and now I suddenly want to make a George Carlin pony. o_o; XD
What a nice story I shall read it to my kids tonight for their bedtime story
Pinkie Pie ate eight cakes. That's as many as eight ones. And that is fucking awesome. Well played, good sir.
I.... I... what?
I... I hate cursing in fiction but... I can't stop laughing. Oh heavens....
I really liked how this totally took the piss out of stories that use uncessary swears. I was laughing from beginning to end thinking about what was on that scroll and all the other stuff that was being said.
122776
122783
this was my intention.
"Why are are you such a fucking potty mouth?"
Assuming you meant "are all", that makes the "a" sound weird because plural.
Well done, though. 4/5.
I'll admit, I laughed. Hard.
And I agree: it's extremely annoying when people have to include swearing for no apparent reason at all. How can they even imagine these ponies swearing?
I want more of this.
122776So funny.never seen so much bad-mouthing in a fic.
That was a fucking riot. Just plain damn hilarious.
123348
Thanks. I thought I fixed that, maybe it was only in the pastebin version.
fucking godammit, kits, this is cuntingly funny.
123355
I know, right? Ponyfeathers is about as strong as it should get
I might try to extend/sequel this, but it won't be the same thing. I'll have to pick other ascpects of idiotic fanfiction to lambast.
Fluttershy's bit at the end was the best for me. It ws just so perfectly ludicrous, I couldn't help but laugh...
123683
I even cringe when "horseapples" is used.
124173
I only do when it's out of place.
My favorite swear is Buttersc0tch's 'vanilla frosting!'
123683 Personally, I've always been a fan of 'horse-apples', which is already pretty strong.
Well then, you've just earned a follow on this story.
Looking forward to laughing my head off at any possible sequels that parody the more ridiculous aspects of fanfiction.
124424
It's just that I find it an uninspired stand-in for human swear words with little or no cultural significance to the Equestrian ponies.
Horseapples is literally "shit" but that would not have the negative connotations to an herbivorous race since to many herbivores' manure is far less toxic than urine as well as being excellent natural fertilizer to be utilized and presumably highly regarded by a society completely dependent on farming for 90% of sustenance.
Buck as a stand in for "fuck" is nonsensical since they have nothing to do with each other and are only equated by the fandom since they rhyme.
Plot as a stand in for "rump" or "ass" is a freaking meme. Technically, using this in a story is breaking the fourth wall.
Horsefeathers/ponyfeathers is a little disturbing because it seems racist toward pegasi.
Vanilla-frosting is more inventive but hardly a swear since it doesn't denote anything an Equestrian should find offensive, really.
For that matter, there's more than likely a pony somewhere NAMED Vanilla Frosting...
We really need to invent some appropriate Equestrian swear words. Not that the majority of stories should need them or would use them appropriately.
Most human based oaths and expletives should be applicable in Equestria with minor tweaking, where as derogatory descriptors are pretty easy to come up with.
Roughshod is a good one for earth ponies, limp-horned is great for unicorns, and clipped-winged for pegasi.
I also like "sparkless", a term based on my preferred name for the Discorded Twilight:
Fucking brilliant.
125353
Oh yeah. Definitely.
Buck and plot are totally weird to see. I mean, in 'aware' fiction (like Friendship is Witchcraft) it's hilarious. But in a serious story it just makes the piece 20% less immersive in 10 seconds flat, kinda like the reader taking an arrow to the knee.
We're probably not going to get many more canon swears outside of horseapples and ponyfeathers. At least it beats 'gee golly wilackers' or something like that.
Most English swear words are actually just the Anglo-Saxon root word and only became vulgar after the Normans invaded and all of the decent bits of society began speaking what we call Middle-English. Until then they were just words.
127209
In order of appearance, there's "BLA" (as in bla bla bla), ">rape" (green text), "DO NOT EVER POST THAT PIC AGAIN", "Dorks", "SMILE SMILE SMILE", "FUCK YOUR MARKER", "DERPY IS A VERY UGLY PONY", "WHYBONER".
I love this! Just random swearing for the sake of random swearing.
Of course, if done right, one swear word has more impact than anything else.
196020
true. In the wide world of writing, a character saving their swears can lend impact.
In [normal] pony fic, Applejack saying 'fuck' always makes me
I don't know why swearing ponies is so funny, but this one seriously made me laugh (Fluttershy's line just killed me). Good job!
Satire about pony cursing in fanfics. I love it.
211237
Cursing in lol-mode sure. Cursing in srsmode or a 'normal' story? Kills it for me.
219052
Yay! Somepony finally got it!
I think next up will be ultra-violence in pony fanfic. I dunno. Maybe that or shitty characterization.