• Published 7th Feb 2013
  • 836 Views, 24 Comments

A Dash of Stardust - k12314

Quick Wits: The shyest stallion around. He hasn't spoken to anypony in years. Now that changes.

  • ...

Chapter 5


Cloudsdale. It made me feel... At home. Like I belonged there. But also like I wasn't supposed to be there at all. Like it was forbidden to those without the ability of flight. But most importantly...

"Evangeline never told me where she lives. Cripes."

I forgot to ask her before she left that day. So I went all the way to Cloudsdale just to be absolutely lost. I'm brilliant, aren't I?

"D-Dang it all..."

Yep. Totally brilliant. All those cloud buildings look the same, I swear. I was hoping I'd get lucky and find Evangeline out and about, but no luck. I wandered around for at least a half an hour and only managed to get myself more lost.

"Uh, sir? Need any directions?"

"Oh thank Luna... OK, just breath, stay calm, don't stammer..."

"Y-Yes... Uh, I'm l-l-looking for my f-friend's house... E-Evangeline."

"Oh yeah. Her. You just head down the road a bit further and take the second left. It's the two story, you can't miss it."


I followed his directions, and of course, I was led to the only two story building in the immediate area. I knock on the door, and nopony answers for a couple minutes. I knocked again.

"Hold on for a second! I'm coming!"

She came to the door and let me in. She had a nice house. Small little staircase leading from the door to the actual home. At the top, a small foyer with a small stand and a coat rack, with open doorways leading to a small kitchen with a dining table, and the living room, which was littered with papers, crumpled or otherwise, a few instruments and an easel.

"N-Nice place. Using y-your living room as a st-t-tudio I s-see."

"I don't have a whole lot of room. All that's upstairs is a small bathroom, and the closet I call my bedroom. Heck, I don't even own this place. I'm renting it."


"Yeah. So, that party is gonna start in a little while. I just gotta lay out some snacks and stuff. Wanna help?"



I hardly even did any of the work. Quick just kept playing the “I’ve got it” card and did everything for me. I was grateful, but still, he was my guest, not the other way around. I should have been the one doing most of it. Eh, no harm no foul I guess. Anyways, after we got all that set up, Quick started to look a little concerned.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Uh... H-How many p-p-ponies are gonna b-be here?”

“Oh, not very many. I’d only say around... 10, if that.”

He let out the breath I didn’t even notice he’d been holding. The relief on his face was like he’d just gotten tested for a deadly disease and it came out false two days later, or something dramatic like that. Stop looking at me like that. I’m not good with words like Quick is.

“S-So... Uh... Wh-What exactly g-g-goes on at a p-party?”

And then, my jaw hit the floor like a ton of lead. I wasn’t really THAT surprised, but still. I thought he would at least know the basics of a party. Then again, considering his absolutely massive social life, that also wasn’t too surprising.

“So you never studied the Theory of Partitudity, then.”

“Ha. V-Very funny. No, I u-understand the b-b-basis of a p-party, but I d-don’t know what to d-do when at one.”

“OK, that makes sense I guess. Well... You just, kinda... Mingle. You know, do whatever you feel would be fun.”

“So... Sit around and read?”

“You kn-know me s-s-so well.”

And cue the facehoof.

"Quick, you're such a nerd, I swear. You would get along so well with Twilight if she wasn't out with her friends 24/7."

"I c-could im-m-magine. And I w-was just k-k-kidding about sitting ar-round. I'll t-try to h-have some f-fun outside of books."


We stood there in silence for a few minutes. He was looking at me like he was waiting for me to strike up another conversation, but I didn't know what. Then, when he took off his glasses to wipe them off, I got an idea.

"Hey, why do you need glasses? Were you born like that?"

He let out a signature dry laugh, and pushed said glasses up his nose.

"F-Funny story, actuall-ll-lly. It's my f-fault. I would c-constantly r-r-read in the d-dark, and everyp-pony knows what that d-does to the eyes. I could even s-see my eyes g-g-going bad. Every d-day my vision would get b-blurrier and d-doubled, until my v-visibility was flat z-z-zero. So I g-got glasses. I like them th-though. I always thought I'd l-l-look good with th-them."

"Huh. Well you do look nice with glasses. But..."

I took his glasses off. He was really handsome even with them, but the glasses gave off a more "cute nerd" vibe. Without them, he looked like a noblestallion who was just a little underdressed.

"Woah. You look completely different. Like... Wow."

"Uh, th-thanks... C-Can I have them b-b-back now? I r-rather enjoy having my v-vision."

"OK. But really, without your glasses, you go from looking nerdy to looking really refined."

"R-Really? I g-grew up in B-BBaltimare, so if a-anything, I'm a c-country boy."

"Well you don't have an accent or anything. You sound like you're from around here."

"I'm s-something of a w-w-wall flower. Ph-Photogenic, if you w-will. I f-fit in almost a-a-anywhere."

“I can tell. It’s definitely an interesting quality about you. That and the fact that you always wear clothes.”

“Yeah, I g-guess that’s n-not normal.”

“Well when you say it that way, it makes you sound weird.”

“You d-d-don’t think I’m w-weird?”

“No. Just different. And that’s not always a bad thing.”

I wanted to respond, but before I could, we heard some knocks on the door. The first guests had arrived, and the party was getting started... But what concerned me is that they brought a keg.

”This... This isn’t a good sign.”


And next thing you know, my house is packed, and all of my friends are getting themselves drunk. I’m not surprised, but I would’ve appreciated it if they’d have warned me before bringing the cider. I eventually joined the drinking, but I didn’t get completely wasted. Just tipsy. A bit. Everything was spinning. Quick was just sorta shuffling in the corner uncomfortably, sitting on the floor and trying to read a book.

”Sheesh. He really DOES just read 24/7... Not a surprise. Maybe I can get him to have some fun!~”

I head over to him, and he takes one look at me and rolls his eyes.

“Y-You’re drunk.”

“Whaaaat? No I’m nooooot... Just a little buzzed, that’s all...”

“... Y-Yeah. Drunk. I’ll j-just keep r-r-reading my book until y-you sober up a b-bit.”

“You’re no fun!~ Come on, get up and live a little!~”

“I’m p-perfectly comfortable h-here on the f-f-floor, thank y-you very m-m-much.”

I grabbed his hoof and yanked him up. I wasn’t having any of his guff. He was gonna enjoy himself, whether he wanted to or not.

“H-Hey! Hold on a s-s-second!”

“Nope. Now come on, let’s dance!~”

I tried to get him to dance, but all he did was shuffle his hooves here and there. All of the songs were pretty fast though, so he probably would’ve had a hard time keeping up even if he tried. The whole “shy” thing didn’t help either I guess. I really don’t remember all that much. OK, so I was kinda drunk.

“E-Evangeline, I really d-d-don’t want to d-do this.”

“Aaaaaawwww, fiiiiiine. You’re such a party pooper.”

“A st-tallion has his w-ways. I’m g-gonna go g-grab some f-f-food.”

“Okaaayyy. Try to have some fun, will yaaaaa?~”

All he did was roll his eyes and walk away. I couldn’t blame him, I’m totally goofy when I’m drunk. I think it’s fun and all, but I think Quick just finds it annoying. I can never really tell, he generally avoids me if I ever get drunk... Which really isn’t all that often. Usually only at a party here and there, and even then. So anyways, I just decided to mingle, talk with some guests, dance a bit, you know, the usual party stuff. Quick just hung out in the kitchen for a while I guess. I didn’t see him come back out at least.


You have no idea how much I wanted to just pound my head off of the refrigerator. I was incredibly annoyed that I’d just been dragged into the center of attention by a mare in a drunken craze, then subjected to embarrassment. I knew she meant well, but the alcohol had her judgement clouded, bagged, and battered with a baseball bat, then dumped in the river... What, too much? It’s not an overstatement, I assure you. I got over it rather quickly, and decided to just stay in the kitchen. Hardly anypony was going in, and I wanted some solace. The amount of ponies there was nowhere near as bad as the stadium, but it still made me feel very unsettled and exposed.

“Hey, awesome party, huh?”

”Why me?”

In my state of deep thought, I hadn’t noticed anypony come into the kitchen. It was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. I assumed she had a “colorful” personality... I am so sorry.

“I’ve never seen you around before. You must be new in Cloudsdale. Name’s Rainbow Dash. What’s yours?”

”I have no idea of whether to tell her or not. For all I know, she could be a psychopath.”

“U-Uh... I’d r-rather not say.”

“Oh, a mystery pony, huh? Alright, sure. So, you new to Cloudsdale?”

“Uh... I d-don’t l-live here.”

“Oh. I just assumed you lived here, since most Pegasi around these parts live here. So you’re from Ponyville?”

“Y-Yeah. How’d you g-g-guess?”

“Closest place. Just a lucky guess... Hey, now that I think about it, you look kinda familiar... Maybe I have seen you. Eh, whatever. I’m gonna just go back to the party, because, no offense, you’re not exactly exciting conversation.”

“Believe m-me, I kn-kn-know.”

She left, and I felt like that wasn’t the last time I was going to hear from her. She seemed like the kinda pony you’d run into a lot. Anyways, I was getting bored of hanging around in the kitchen, so I thought I’d look around a bit out of boredom. But, as soon as I get upstairs, I run into Evangeline again.

”Just my luck.”

“Oh heyyyy.”

“For th-the love o-of...”

“Oh, whaaaaat?~ Come on, stop being so upseeeet!”

“I’m n-not upset. I s-s-simply don’t want to d-deal with a drunk E-E-Evangeline.”

“Awwwww, but I’m not that baaaaaad!”

“Oh y-you have n-n-no id-dea.”

She really wasn’t, though. I just wasn’t really in the mood for any shenanigans. I was already stressed out from the crowd of the party, and I had no energy left to deal with her in the state she was in. That, and she was talking in that annoying stretched kind of way and it was grating at my nerves too.

“Ah fine. You’re no fun. I’m just gonna go back to the partyyyy!~”

“A-Alright. Just try n-not to do a-anything that could get y-you or somepony e-e-else hurt.”

“I won’t. I don’t see why you’re being such a stick in the mud. But whateverrrr.~”

”She’s going to end up doing something stupid anyways. I’d best stay with her and make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.”

So, I followed her. But, at the bottom of the stairs, trouble was waiting for us. I see Evangeline staring up at the ceiling, and when I follow her gaze, I froze.


And then there was the look Evangeline was giving me. Oh Luna, that look made me want to dash right out the front door, but also stay put. Time seemed to slow down, and I couldn’t think straight. I knew what was going to happen when she closed her eyes and started leaning towards me. It was like some sort of magic had taken over my entire body, and wouldn’t allow me to move. But what sold the whole experience was the feeling of her lips on mine.

It sent a warm feeling through my entire body, followed by quick jolts of a cold chill. It was euphoric, but also terrifying. I knew this wasn’t actually Evangeline, it was the alcohol, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I’m pretty sure the pony who owned the pink hoof holding the mistletoe through a hole in the ceiling enjoyed it too.

Comments ( 18 )

Now, let's read the story.

Seems like you got the publish button to work.

Cant wait to get digital paper cuts from all the reading I'm going to do on this story.

5 Chapters of PURE FRIENDSHIPPING. (I read fast when I don't have paperwork to do.... oh crap I do)
Dude, it's progessing really well. (As well as it can be with 2 OC characters). I can tell it's all leading up to a moment, which was a good moment I might add.
*15 Chapters later of invigorating plot and deep characterization*

Ahh, the joys of writing once more :twilightsheepish:


It's that good? I thought it felt a bit rushed, but hey, I guess I have to start over somewhere.

2086627 I would say it is, but I've seen rushed work at it's worst. Just gradually build it up and check it for editing like a day after you write a chapter let's say (the saying: 'It's a Gold Mine when you write it now, but when you come back later to find a Cesspool of grammer errors.' Is really helpful for editing purposes.)
Anyways, it'll be nice to see what'll happen next :derpytongue2:


At least I explained the rush, sorta. They knew each other for a few weeks, but did noting worthy of actual note, so... Timeskip. 80'S STORY-TELLING FOR THE WIN.


Hey, I appreciate the criticism. I was trying out new characters and a new writing style, so of course it's gonna be shaky. Now I can try to improve on this. As for the characters... Well, some characters aren't for everyone. Thanks for the criticism though, it helps. :twilightsmile:

Sure, a tad rushed at points (only caught one spelling error) could use some smoothing.....

BUT worth a moustache, thumbs up, AND track :pinkiehappy:


Well, you've improved quite a bit from the first part for sure. Got a few good laughs out of it! Keep it up!


Thanks man. I actually planned on throwing in more quirks here and there as time goes on. I've been thinking about it, and I have a few ideas, but I wanna think of something that isn't a cliche. Thanks for reading, though. :pinkiehappy:

But yeah, that is one of the problems I have. All my stories have a really shaky start, but they stabilize as I proceed. It's just an issue with writing I need to find a way to work around.

that was a good chapter it put a smile on my face love the ending the picture was a nice touch too


Thanks. My girlfriend drew it a little while back.

Quick question dude: Where have you been? It's been almost a year since you updated Le Retour. The story is really good, but you've left a lot of people hanging on the story. Can I ask why?:rainbowhuh:


I'm really surprised you haven't seen the bunches of times I've told others the answer to that. The reason I haven't updated it is because I burnt myself out on it, and can't muster up the creative drive to think of anything decent to continue it with.

2579095 Do you think you'll ever get that drive again? I really like the story.

2586520 Have you tried listening to music for inspiration?

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