My name is none of your concern. We are not alone. Humans are no longer the only creatures that walk, talk, write, and kill. In 2015, the Pentagon received direct contact from an extraterrestrial with an offer that we soon realized was too good to pass up. In exchange, we had to eliminate one of her kind. We were desperate, and this alien held in her hooves the key to humanity's prolonged survival. One man was assigned for the mission.
I was that man, and that mission was called Operation: Usurped Dawn.
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Chapters (1)
It's like if you've never heard of the Enter key.
this is a bit of a information overload. but it was done well.
1701506 Yeah. Just wish more people would read it.
1701508 well, if i may make a suggestion? is there anyway you can break this story up into smaller chapters? maybe the reason is that people are placing this story in the "Read Later" for it's rather daunting length. this is just a thought... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png
1701532 It's not supposed to be like that. If they don't like it, then fuck them. I think the read later button is the worst thing to ever happen to this site. That and device heretic.
Just finished it. Have to agree, it does kind of get "Wall of Text" at times, but overall, found it to be pretty interesting and well written. Though, I'll be honest, I laughed a little at ponytanium
Chapters. That's my only complaint.
The story was absolutely wonderful. Nice job, mane,.
Aww darn. Lol i totally had an idea for a fic like this one but looks like ya beat me to it
Too bad, I guess i should've been faster.
1701759 Write it anyway. I won't claim anything.
Well, that was interesting. Keep it coming
1701762 Okay then. Thanks!!! Ill try to keep it as different as i can.
Nice story, bro
Hooray, Usurped Dawn! Now if only I had the time or patience to read it...
This honestly deserves more views, I read the whole thing and it was great. I always love infiltration stories. I just have one question, how did they judge humans? Did they see all our tech and culture or just when bad stuff happens? Be nice to elaborate, because the Princesses were surprised by a lot of things from what I could read. Love it!
A HiE Story with an interesting and unique concept.
Realistic emotional responses from original characters.
I personally think this should be in the Featured Box.
I don't like the future tech in 2015, nor the fact that he's a Colonel and worked his way up from enlisted. (Which almost never happens) And what's a C-147? There's no such thing. But I like it overall other than that.
you win one free google search
“Yes, sir. I accept the mission.”
Yes sir, that mission is doomed to fail from that very moment. Reading the story just confirmed it.
It wasnt fun to read. The guy, the mission, the "plan", none of it say "professionals with the future of the world in their hands at work".
They immediately accept a murder mission from a shaky source, no guarantees. They don't even acknowledge the possibility of being duped, using diplomacy or turning the tables on Chrys the second their man is in contact with the target, getting a deal with Celly instead. (Hence why you send more than one guy, if Celly says "no" you blow her head off the following second. Win-Win.
They also could just steal the ressource. Capture Chrys the moment her back is turned and sell her off to Celly. So many plans within easy reach, and the Pentagon is going to explore each and every single one of them to get the best deal possible regardless of the outcome. I really hoped for the main char to be aware of all these options and pick the best one as the situation dictated, or change if some options seemed foolish. But no.
The pentagon was desperate for energy? No, they were stupid. And that makes the whole story feel cheaper because of it, it isnt credible.
Send a single guy (no way it can turn badly), with underpowered weaponry (to kill a God), blind (he knew nothing about almost everything), his morale was shaky (doubted the mission several hours in), he kept going despite losing his main gun and being hurt badly (this would normally call for some extraction or some R&R and a new plan.. but he just kept going), then he risk climbing a cliff without the right gear (and a busted knee.. right? He's forgetting the pegasi element) and somehow hope to take down the target (a god) with a peashooter when a rifle wasn't even enough.
Also, he cocked his pistol twice. Once when in the train depot.. (so the gun is nice and ready) and again, for no reason, just as he is going to shoot Celly. But the gun already had a chambered round (train depot, plus he shot RD).
Then he bleeds info when torture start, like, within seconds.
Then he folds like a puppy.
Then i just stopped reading.
21,887 words?!?!?!?!
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How long did this take to to write?!
1701762
Bucking awesome, man. I imagined the whole thing in first person. And I love how we never love the soldier's name. Adds to the immersion.
Super moral ponies resort straight to magic torture, excellent
Super moral ponies spying on Earth and taking no steps, k Its like not doing shit about genocide in Africa, except a billion times worse
especially since they could have easily taken any medieval force with the inherent abilities.
Best assassin ever, in addition to being pretty terrible at stated mission, apparently forgets about Chrysalis about 10s in even after noting oddities in the general.
You also clearly have locations that you either changed pages in your editor or were planned to be chapters, why would you not use them.
It was an interesting and well-written story in general, though if I can make a (hopefully)constructive criticism, 1703382 listed several inconsistencies, but most of those could be hand-waved as being for the sake of storytelling, but together they really can break suspension of disbelief/immersion
. Also, something that really struck me was the extreme heel-face turn Colonel makes upon being confronted by Celestia. We've just spent pretty much the entire story up to this point, defining the main character as a duty-bound hunter, who completes the mission and follows orders, even when he disagrees with/dislikes them, and all of a sudden, we throw all of that away and have him completely compromise the mission, reveal sensitive information, and generally purposely do everything in his power to make the situation as bad as possible from what we've been shown as his perspective. This completely broke me from the story, and had me really unable to enjoy it too the end from there.
Also as a side note: Where the heck did all this high-tech(the computers and stuff) in Equestria come from?! And if they've been tracking that closely, how were the Princesses surprised by the human's tech(the helicopter)?
Whats his name? please?
1704900
^This
I find it annoying that medieval ponies can travel through space too... just urks me..
1705323 Well here's the thing: when a story as long as this comes along, it's bound to have errors. The Colonel revealed the information because he didn't perceive Celestia as a threat, not up close, at least. Remember it was Luna who nearly killed him, and that combined with the torture adds to it. Plus he just wants to go home, and he deems Celestia as trustworthy.
I agree there are some plot-holes, but there are always plot-holes.
1703382 I'm guessing you didn't like it.
I'll admit, it's hard to write a credible story when you're going in half-cocked. Most of the stuff you said is correct, but I think "government" and "stupidity" go hand in hand, plus this is a whole new environment that throws the entire US for a loop.
Still, I appreciate someone with a keen eye for continuity errors. I'm sorry you didn't like it.
21k words, straight to th' eyeballs, yo!
And I enjoyed it all.
I seriously was all like 'WTF NOOOO' when he shot Celestia.
1706771 I'm aware of this. I'm really not trying to be cruel or overcritical here, and I did, in fact, really enjoy reading this, so you did a great job
. As to there always being plot holes and errors, this is true, but by having them pointed out and you noticing them, hopefully you'll know what to keep in mind next time and get even better if you write in the future.
1708247 Not to worry, buddy.
I don't think you're cruel or overcritical, you're just being honest. And I agree with you 100%. 
If you people are disliking this because it's violent and horrid, it's SUPPOSED to be.
Interesting story, man!
Awesome!
Am....So....Gonna......Try....To....Make.....A....Real-life...Video....Of.....This.......
)
(if I can figure out how to get the funding....
EDIT: Or maybe you could present it to a professional film maker....That's if you could find one
Since it leaves itself open for continuation, i assume there will be a sequel of some sort? I'd definitely love to see more come from this. I really love how you portrayed Celestia and Luna especially. As for Chrysalis....well let's just say this clip says it best.
1707018
(Fail Spoiler tag)
Asshole.
1823408
cannoteven.jpg
The energy crisis must be huge if the US is willing to accept such an offer. And the modern tech in Equestria was very unexpected, though it's not completely impossible. Gotta keep those defences secret, eh?
MOAR!
Hey so there going to join alley join 2 world.
how come no one has the guts to kill Princess Celestia and Luna in this site ?
LOL, we are coming for you Chrysalis!!!
static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Not+without+my+anus.+Oh+crap+we+forgot+the+mortal_979160_4560379.gif
Disappointed that Colonel didn't assassinate Celestia.
BAD ASS MAN!
Chrysalis gonna die.
And please make a sequel. 
(If you haven't) 
3757946 Honestly, it's been so long since this story I just don't know if there will be a sequel. I'll consider it, though.
Man, this was a good story, I loved it!
A bit pissed for luna getting injured, but such is the way of war, amirite?
Nice work on this!
You get a fav! and my upvote.
I'm sorry I had to dislike your story. But I read through 3/4 of the story before I gave up on it. Your top assassin was a bitch, in the end it may have ended up for the better but, you don't get to the top with the attitude he has. I understand you wanted to give him more of a personality outside of the professional realm but he forgot the a lot of the basics one of them being a core value of If I am captured I will do everything in my power to escape and aid others in doing so. If I am captured I will only give name, rank, and EDIPI number. This is why the Marines exist.
7855409 Well I have no military experience and very little military knowledge. Also I wrote this when I was like 16.