Ebony Waters is a talented young mare who just knows that her cutie mark depends on her musical career. With knowledge of her talent, all she needs is a musical genius who will help her find her cutie mark. However, when she stumbles upon college dorm mates Octavia and Vinyl, she knows she's in for a lot.
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Think you missed a 'd' there.
This sounds interesting, has promise, and that cover pic is AMAZING! Please, write more.
If this has Vinyl or music, I'm in.
Love the concept! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_cake.png I have a feeling some classical wubs are on the way. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png I can't read it right now, but when I get around to it I will! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl2.png
Well done, well done. This has potential, I'm looking forward to more.
If you need an editor/proofreader, PM me. I'm up for it. But it seems to have alright grammar, except for a few spelling mistakes.
Ah well, I don't think you need an editor, just remember to proofread it before posting.
Thanks for all of the support so far, guys! I really appreciate it! Please point out grammatical errors and such! And... yeah. Oh yeah!
And then sex happened. The End!
missed a quote mark at the beginning there.
I look forward to more!!
one, mainly because i need an excuse to use this meme, and it fits.
That whole section gets:
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/293/715/e99.jpg
its your not ''Wow, I like you are cutie mark,''
What a horrible family she had
I'm sure things will brighten up when I read chapter 2.
You know, I think Ebony was just looking for an excuse to look at his rear, kinda like "Yeah, that's a pretty cool cutie mark, but damn, dat flank,"
kidding about that by the way, but I just feel like something will develop.
Really liking the story, even though Octavia was being a slight bitch, aw well, I'm sure in time she'll come around. Keep up the good work, 'cause I want to see chappy three.
Two minor errors that i saw.
That open quote at the very beginning shouldn't be there. Then three lines later you did it again. Other than that, story was good. Bit slow, felt somewhat pointless, but still good.
Believe me when i say, it's good to push yourself to write. Get the story done before something happens and the only thing you feel like doing is headbutting through a wall. Heck it's why I edit instead of write. Try your best.
My mind first jumped to this ''GAYYYYYYYYYYYY'' from that seal thing meme otherwise good!
Quill seems nice and very helpful, I look forward to him helping with simple tasks XD
Jewel Crisis, makes we wonder what her cutie mark is, it seems like a strange name to me :S I really enjoy the story though, it is quite badass.
(Joke) Alt. Title: The Cello Player's Apprentice: The Teachings Of Ebony Pacifia Wetness Blue Blue Blue Waters Way and SHE TEACHES ME! BESEECHES ME! and Secret Of The Wubs
I have the feeling her father will end up trying to kill her before the end. Still hope he dies or gets caught.
How do Octavia and Vinyl know that he sells drugs? Please tell me that this story doesn't involve a giant drug trade system!
okay seriously that is just fucked up tornado and jewel need to be some how expeled
1810843
hope it's not a spoiler but they will be expelled xD
I have a really weird feeling of where this story is heading :\
AHEM everypony! I have an announcement!!!
You:
Alright, many of you might be thinking that my story will be a whole drug scenario thing!
You:
Well, that's not true! Many musical stuff and whatnot shall be happening! But I can't have a story just about random music lessons, you know?
You:
Really! Believe me!! I promise that it won't revolve around drugs and sex and shit, cause' I hate that stuff! The story just needed more of a plot!
You:
Okay, fine. Be that way! Just read on, and I'll prove you wrong!
You:
Finally! A great story!
-whimsytwist
1811648 I mean seriously you basically didn't include ANY musical anything! This isn't striking me up as musical fic but kinda a weird plotless story. Sorry for being so mean it was just my thinking, I still can't write anything that looks even remotely good
I can't wait for more, I want more shit to go down
Not sure with this chapter in whole, it almost seems like a chapter you updated so we wouldn't be waiting a while, though I still somewhat enjoyed it.
1816908
Um, no offense, dude.. But if you don't like the story, why are you reading it..?
1821750 It's my friend's story
she'll probably kick me in the shins for not reading
1822019
I doubt that.
... It'd be funny if she saw your comment and kicked you in the shins for it.
1822034 crap she probably will
1822761
LOL and you probably deserve it
1822832
You guys, I'm right here...
1822832 i got kicked in the shins today... I wonder why!
1828513
Wow, you must've done something bad... or maybe you gave her the idea!
1828623
I keep thinking I'm getting a positive comment or cool critique, instead I see you two chatting..
Why don't you just message each other??
So. Enjoying the idea of the story, and I hope to see it continue. However, it does feel like you're losing the plot here. Take some time off, figure out where the story is going, and all the major plot points. It's the holidays after all, enjoy them.
If I may say though, slow down. These last two chapters have felt very rushed, and not up to a good standard. Take some time to relax, and work on them more.
I do hope you continue this story though, it's very good.