• Member Since 14th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen March 26th

2D


Tender is the night for a broken heart, who will dry your eyes when it falls apart?

T

This story is being put back up for archiving purposes. It was once featured, thrice rewritten, and abandoned. I don't even remember what was original draft and what was rewrite. I just think it'd be a shame to leave it.

I've also added some of the "in progress" rewrites that were planned but never published/completed.

Maybe one day I'll complete this.

Train wrecks and stereotypes. The city of Manehattan remains divided, even after the Elements of Harmony brought the world back together. Ponies of all sorts squander the resources and scraps left to them, trapped far from the beautiful light above; unwanted and sickeningly poor. Streets are cramped and flooded whilst chemical mists linger throughout. This city wasn't designed for them, it is merely the knife-edge of a crumbling empire. Caught in a train hijacking gone wrong, and on the wrong side of the law, Awry finds himself in a delicate balance of power.

The question is simple. All in... or fold?

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 242 )

...Hm. Presumably, the actual DJ-saving-my-life bit happens between chapters...
Joking aside though, this is... quite the intriguing concept. In fact... do you need a proofreader? I'd be willing to do that for you, if you want one. If you're interested, send me a PM. We'll talk.

2D

1707017

Thank you, what did you like about it?

1707045

Yes, the saving happens in Chapter One...

Also, I am indeed, in need of a proof reader, and I would
be happy to see you help out.

I'll PM you the details...

Eddie

1707065

Everything, really.

Although the best part was probably the contrast between thoughts and reality before Twisted left his apartment.

2D

1707073

Thanks, I'm glad people actually like this
one, unlike the 'reception' Branded recieved...

I am already working on Chapter One.

Also, the apartment scene... That was my favorite bit
to write, I am just so in tune with monotone settings... It's
kind of sad really.

Eddie

1707083

Aww. Come here, you. *hugs*

2D

1707093

*Hugs Back*

Thanks, now you simply need to wait for me to
blow your socks off with the first chapter...

Also, why you no favorite?

Eddie

1707098

My favorite button doesn't work, sorry.

Besides, I think I can keep track of my friend's story with my own mind.

2D

1707104

Indeed...

Eddie

2D

1707113

Yes, I will get onto that...

Eddie

1707124
soo awsome :rainbowkiss:

can't wait till next chapter

2D

1707164

Thank you :twilightsmile:

It means allot when somepony enjoys my
writing, I only hope that you will forgive and
possibly point out any grammar/stupid mistakes.

I have already found and fixed one...

And thank you even more for the like!

Eddie

Soon enough, the streets filled with punks, arcanists, and the rest of the odd bunch.
filled with punks, arcanists, and the rest
punks, arcanists and
arcanists

fc01.deviantart.net/fs26/i/2008/032/3/c/Arcanist_by_enrikor.jpg

Wizards. They're everywhere.

2D

1707292

Yes, I'm glad somebody saw that lifeline!

Also, did you like the prologue?

Eddie

1707296
I certainly did! Got me hooked right off the bat.

Finished reading it. Favoriting and tracking!
I love the way this is written. There's places where you'd want to exclude ,s and include -s or ;s, but I can let that slide for now.

2D

1707303

Thanks, you want to rage at my dyslexia?

Check my story, FoE: Branded... 15000+ words
of pure bad spelling, and yet I plan to continue it...

And thanks for the watch and the Favorite, it means allot.

Also, what hooked you, the scene, the character, or the description?

Or something else entirely?

Eddie

1707312
'suicide attempt'
Everyone always goes for the sweet, loving tone that most writers try to use in their fics in and among Equestria/its inhabitants.
Somepony wants to suicide?
READING IT.

2D

1707370

I see.

Well my friend, the web of 'Celestia Buthurt' only
thinkens in the next chapter...

Eddie

wow...god, if I take in any more feels, from any source, I am going to cry for fucking hours...my life sucks. If it weren't for you, Zach, and Hunter, I would be dead...

2D

1708290

D'aaw

Thanks man.

Did you like it?

Eddie

1708302 in the most 'wow this relates completely to my life' sort of way, yes...and it hurts to read this and know exactly how that sort of pain feels...

2D

1708306

You gusta?

I am glad.

1708305

I feel you there man, trust me, I want
this to be as good as it can be, and I'm using
most of my time on this now.

Eddie

1708310

I forgot to ask: Is Octavia going to be involved at any point?

2D

1708528

No, this is very classiest Equestria, the two
won't even know eachother.

I might write a spin off...

But no, they won't

Eddie

2D

1708555

What, you no gusta?

Eddie

1708562

No no, it's fine. Octavia and Vinyl are just my favorite shipping pair is all. They just play off each other so well.

2D

1708567

You know that spin off..

Eddie

2D

1708606

Right, if this goes down well, I'm planning on
writing an alternate fiction...

Last Night A Cellist Saved My Life

It will see Twisted being saved by Octavia, and
explore the upper society...

Eddie

good story will follow and right now favorite

This story spoke to me, not literally but...gah, you know what I mean.

And I apologize if this gets somewhat bothersome, just point it out to me. This story seems to emphasize a sadness that only one who's experiencing said sadness could write. What I am getting at is, are you basing this on your life events? If so, I feel you there bro.

Last (because I like to put bigger comments for stories that show emotion like this) what got me to this story was definetly the description, talking about being a shield for others, and that stuff, it made me relate to the story, so I had to read it, nuff said.

Pertty damn good, it needs a lot of work in the comma-placement and sentence structure departments in a few places though.
For now, 4/5 moustaches :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
Tracked, upvoted.

I must say that I normally avoid stories like this. However, the way this is written... you've left me wanting more. I am very keen to see what happens next. For your first story, you've done an excellent job. :twilightsmile:

Favourited and upvoted. :moustache:

2D

1714257

Oh, this isn't my first story!

I had a 15000+ one, but I removed it
because I want to focus on this more.

And thank you, I am lad that you liked this, and
I hope I can live up to your expectations!

Eddie

2D

1711140>>1710939>>1709708

Sorry for the late reply guys!

Iv'e just been that busy...

FuntimeBrony

May I ask what you enjoyed about it?

tjamesbeard

Thank you.

I am sorry to say that, yes... This is sort of based off of me. It is all written
from the heart, the monotone setting is easy to write due to my current mood set...

Eduardo

Thanks man, I'm glad you liked it! The commas and stuff... Will be
fixed by my editor at some point...

Eddie

Wow, that was some powerful stuff. *Clap, Clap.*
Can't wait to read more. :scootangel:

2D

1714789

Thanks man!

I hope you will enjoy chapter one when it
comes out!

Eddie

Well this a rare take o the ponyverse we love. and that is probably why you are getting so many positive comments and up votes. nicely done, though it wasn't my cup of tea I still liked that it was out of the norm.:twilightsmile::pinkiecrazy::heart:

2D

1724234

Thanks!

Eddie

Well, that's really good!
As for the question at the very beginning... well... one of my uncles killed himself years ago, and man it still hurts. But it was his choice, and while I've never though about killing myself, I can't really hate him for that. Anyway, this is joining my (long) list of likes and favorites.

Kindly,
~Sinrar

2D

1738891


Je vous remercie! Je suis heureux que vous avez apprécié mon histoire, et je ne peux pas attendre de voir comment vous réagissez au chapitre un! Quant à votre oncle, je suis désolé d'entendre ça. Moi aussi j'ai vécu la perte. Un de mes ex girlfirends s'est suicidé, alors je peux comprendre votre douleur.

Eddie

1738901

Sorry to hear that. Strangely, the only thing that comes to my mind right now is that song:

Kindly,
~Sinrar

1751750

I think that the fact that you're bringing your personal life into your fic makes it that much better.
I tried that once, but the story ended up really shitty, and I had to put it on "hiatus", or something.
Don't EVER be ashamed to admit that you're bringing realism and personality into your story. You're doing what separates "good" from "great".

2D

1751778

Thanks man.

What I meant was, I'm ashamed that my life has such a large tie to drugs and crime.
I'm ashamed that I live in a place similar to what I'm describing.
But it makes it much easier to write about.

Eddie

Yea, I'm going to be watching this one like a hawk.

You've got a fan in me.

2D

1751845

What made you suddenly become more addicted than I actually though possible in a few mere minutes?

Eddie

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