Words That We Couldn't Say

by fic Write Off

Breaking the Silence

I always like relaxing with my sister. Sharing time, talking about clothes. I just wish it happened more often. She’s always so busy. But a spa day is always the best way to get her to relax and have fun.

The sauna feels awfully nice. Rarity levitates another scoop of water over the hot rocks, and I can feel the warmth soaking through my coat.

“That’s not too much, is it?” she says as the steam rises between us.

“Well... it is getting a bit hot,” I answer and undo the towel on my head. That helps cool me off a bit, but I think I need a break. “I’m gonna go outside for a minute. Be right back.” Sis nods at me and leans back on her bench.

When I get outside, it’s even worse out there. Sweat’s still running down my face, and now I’ve got something scratching my leg. I look down, and it’s a small bramble caught on my hoof. I knock it away, but it’s still sticking me. There aren’t any growing up through the sidewalk. Why can’t I get rid of it? Ow! Now it hurts! I hear growling, too. And I smell smoke...

My eyes pop open and I jolt up in bed. That stupid cat’s clawing at my leg! What’s her problem? Wait, Opal? I’m at Rarity’s. Oh, yeah! I’m spending three weeks with her while mom and dad are away on another trip. Wait... Smoke. What’s that light in the hall? Oh, no... No! Fire!

I roll out of bed and run down the stairs with Opal right behind. “Rarity! Rarity!” I call out, and she’s just coming out of her room. Her eyes are open so wide, but she’s shaking her head and not saying anything. At the bottom of the stairs, she goes toward the back room. She turns so fast that I slip and hit my head on the floor trying to follow. I let out a groan, rub the sore spot on my cheek, and stumble after her. She’s trying to gather up some bundles of cloth and a few dresses off the racks. “Rarity! C’mon!” She won’t listen!

“Just let me save a few things! Please! I can’t afford to lose them!” She’s shaking and keeps dropping stuff.

I grab hold of her tail and start tugging, but my hooves are slipping on the floor, and I can’t budge her. “Please!” I yell. My throat’s starting to burn and it hurts to talk now. “Ple—” I try again, but I’m coughing so hard I can’t speak. My eyes are watering, too, and it must be from the smoke. Yeah, it’s the smoke. Rarity finally looks down at me—she’s got that strain in her eyes, and her lip’s quivering. But she holds it in somehow, nods at me, and closes her eyes, then dashes out the front door with me.

Outside, it feels suddenly cold. I’m shivering, and I try leaning up against Rarity, but it’s not stopping. The fire brigade’s already here, spraying their hoses. It’s dark, but I can barely make out Rainbow Dash shoving a cloud over Carousel Boutique, and Twilight’s levitating big globs of water from the river. Everywhere around me, there’s shouting, but it all sounds funny, like it’s echoing.

I can’t think. Everything feels so thick, and I’m staring off at who knows what. Next to me, Rarity is just staring, too. I stop trying to think and lean into her side, but she doesn’t notice.

The fire’s mostly out now. It doesn’t take them long, but what could have—No! No! My—my head hurts...

I was making Rarity dessert earlier. I left the oven on...

---

Somepony’s shaking me... I gasp, hard, and almost fall out of bed.

“Goodness! Are you okay? You were shouting.” Fluttershy is looking down at me with a hoof held in front of her mouth.

I just sit there for a minute, breathing hard.

“Calm down. It’s okay, Sweetie Belle! It was only a dream.” She’s using that sweet smile she’s always got and stroking my mane. I don’t even remember what I was dreaming. After a couple of minutes, my heart’s not thumping anymore. “There, there. Why don’t you come downstairs and have some breakfast? Then Apple Bloom and Scootaloo will be by to walk to school with you. Won’t that be nice?” She scrunches up her nose and cocks her head at me.

I nod after a second and follow her down to the kitchen, where she’s already made some pancakes. It’s so... different. I know I’ve been in Fluttershy’s house before, but never alone. I sit at the table, and it’s so quiet I think I can hear her breathing. Why am I here again? I’m just staring at the tabletop, following the swirls of wood grain, and then she slides a plate of pancakes and a glass of milk in front of me. Mm. I am thirsty, and the food does smell good.

“Eat up! A good breakfast is the best way to start your day,” Fluttershy says, giving me a pat on the shoulder.

I pick up the glass with both hooves and glance out the little window that’s over the stove—

With a loud thump, my glass falls back to the table and splashes milk everywhere. I jump out of my chair and try to grab for the napkin to wipe it up, but my legs are shaking. Why won’t they stop shaking? I feel suddenly warm as Fluttershy wraps her hooves around me and whispers “Shhh” in my ear.

“It’s okay. No harm done. We’ll just pour you another glass.” She’s got her cheek against mine, and i can feel her smiling.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble. I don’t know what else to say. “I’m sorry I—I didn’t...”

“Don’t worry yourself. Here, I’ll wrap these pancakes up for you, and you can eat them at school. Your friends are here.” Giving me a little nudge, she puts my saddlebags over my back and puts in my wrapped-up breakfast.

I keep quiet and walk out to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. They’re standing there with their mouths open but not saying anything. I don’t know. I guess I wouldn’t know what to say, either, but it’s making me feel weird that they keep looking at me. Finally, I start walking along the road. Put one hoof in front of the other. I think Applejack said something like that once. Behind me, I can hear one of them kicking a stone along as she walks.

“Are you... alright?” Apple Bloom asks. I shrug, but she probably doesn’t see it. Nopony talks again for the rest of the trip.

---

“Sweetie Belle!” Miss Cheerilee’s voice jerks me out of some daydream I must have been in. I was only resting my eyes for a minute, I swear!

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara are smirking a bit too big at me, but Miss Cheerilee isn’t scowling. In fact, she’s smiling as she bends down to whisper to me.

“Sweetie Belle, maybe it’s a little too soon to come back to school. Do you need to take the afternoon off?” Miss Cheerilee pats me on top of my head.

I don’t know. A couple of seats over, Scootaloo has one eyebrow raised and is mouthing “duh” at me. “I guess so.”

After gathering my books in my saddlebags, I trudge over to Sugarcube Corner. I kinda remember Pinkie saying last night that Rarity could use part of their showroom until Carousel Boutique gets fixed again. But... Rarity never yelled at me. I guess I deserve it. I just can’t... That look she gets—she doesn’t glare at me, and it’s like gravity’s extra strong, making her droop her ears and shoulders and everything. That’s the worst. Like she’s the one who’s being punished. I stand outside for a minute, then finally grit my teeth and go in.

As soon as I open the door, there’s noise everywhere. There must be a dozen ponies in line at the counter, and foals are running all over the place.

“Number fifty-six?” Mrs. Cake shouts, then slides a box of donuts over to the mare who walks up. She breaks the seal and pops it open, letting two colts nose their way in and grab one. Another mare’s waiting by the counter with the lid pulled off her coffee cup for a refill, and three more are looking over the board of daily specials.

“Freshen that for you?” Mr. Cake repeats as he carries his teapot around to all the occupied tables.

I finally step in, and to the right, I see the familiar old dress racks from Carousel Boutique’s sales floor. Hanger by hanger, a bunch of dresses and suits flash colors, and I remember a few. The purple ball gown that sis let me help stitch. A suit that I got to pick between bowtie and ascot for. On a summer hat, the peacock feather I found that made Rarity’s eyes sparkle when she saw it.

“How’s the length?” Rarity shouts over the crowd.

There’s a filly trying on a cute-ceanera skirt, and her mother is leaning in close to Rarity.

“Pardon?”

“The hem. Is it too low?” Rarity tugs at the skirt a bit until it just starts to cover the filly’s cutie mark. Lucky duck. Wish I had mine.

“Too slow? No, we don’t need it for another week,” the mare answers.

Rarity takes a deep breath. “Do you like the way it hangs?” Leaning even closer, the mare holds a hoof to her ear. “Length?”

The mare finally mouths an “Oh!” and nods. As the filly wiggles out of the skirt, Rarity glares at a colt who keeps racing around the clothing racks. He’s knocked a business suit to the floor but doesn’t stop.

When her customers finally wave good-bye, I swallow hard and walk up to Rarity. I’m staring at her hooves, and it feels like I’ve got a jumbo cupcake stick in my throat. “Sis, I...” I don’t get any further. I look up at her, and I can feel the tears gathering, but maybe she can’t see them. “Sorry...”

“Oh, Sweetie Belle! Has school let out already?” She levitates the suit back into place, then scribbles something on her notepad. “Hold on. I need to make something for the Cakes since they were so kind as to let me use their space for the time being, and I just got a wonderful idea.” I wait a minute while she sketches. I wish I could see the paper. It’s so fun to watch when she gets inspired. When that pencil goes flying around the page like that, and sometimes she even asks my opinion about...

I clear my throat, but she’s looking over at the noisy crowd again. “I swear, if I never see another dessert again...” she says with her jaw clenched. She knows!

My throat tightens again, and all I can do is squeak at her. My heart skips a beat, and the tingle in my chest makes me cough. She’s finally looking at me now. Right at me.

“We do need to talk. Soon.” Her ears are folded straight back, and she can’t keep her lip from trembling. Oh, Celestia! She knows! “I’m a little too busy right now, though. Why don’t you run along with your friends? You can come back and help me close up shop in a few hours, if you like.”

I nod and slowly back away, but my heart is racing. Is that part of the punishment? That I have to wait for it all day and imagine how bad it’s gonna be? Why do grown-ups always have to do that? I barely get out the door before I lose control. The corners of my mouth finally give way, and I gallop down the street to a spot I know in the park, where the bushes form this ring, and it’s a nice, private place to have a good cry. I didn’t mean it, sis. I really didn’t!

---

Hours later, I come back to Sugarcube Corner. Most of the lights are off downstairs, but there’s still one glowing near the front door. The bell jingles as I go in.

“Rarity? Can I help?” I ask her. She’s got a wet cloth and is scrubbing some chocolate stains off a couple of dresses. That vein’s bulging out on the side of her head, and she keeps glancing over toward the kitchen door, but I don’t hear anypony in there—I think Pinkie’s already gone upstairs for the night.

“Oh... No, dear, I’m already finished.” She smiles at me, but only with her mouth. “You can walk with me back to the library, but then I’ll have to say good night. I’m so behind on my orders, and I’ve still got to make thank-you gifts for Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash.” Her shoulders sag, and as she steps out into the light, I see bits of mane sticking out all over.

“Rarity, I...” She knows! She already knows! The hard part’s over. Why can’t I make myself tell her?

She sighs, and the light catches something in her eye that she wipes away. “Come along, Sweetie Belle.” Her mouth is still hanging open, and she’s about to speak, but... nothing. Do I have to say it before she’ll forgive me, or at least before she’ll finally yell at me and get it over with?

We trot along in silence, and when we finally reach the library, most of the lights are out there, too. Twilight’s left one on for us downstairs, though. After tossing her saddlebags aside, Rarity flops into a chair and levitates some thread, needles, and fabric patterns.

“You’re gonna... work?” I just stand there in the doorway, useless.

Sis nods without looking up and starts looping that needle back and forth through all those seams. “I can’t run my machines in a library, dear, especially when ponies are trying to sleep,” she answers, angling her head toward the stairs.

“Oh.” I look down at the floor for a minute. Finally, I whimper, “Can I have a hug?”

Did she even hear me? I’m still waiting for a nod, an ear twitch, something. “Mmhm.” She’s fiddling with her fabrics and doesn’t look up. I turn and walk out the door. I don’t think she notices.

By the time the door has closed behind me, I can’t hold it in anymore and let out a little whine. I just—I just want my sister back.

---

Why can’t I sleep anymore? I don’t remember any of my dreams, but Fluttershy’s always there when I wake up, asking me what’s wrong. I’m so tired.

After breakfast, I head over to the library. It’s a weekend, but Rarity hasn’t been taking them off. I catch her on her way out and fall in step beside her. She smiles that same empty smile I’ve seen the last few days and blinks her bloodshot eyes.

“Can I help today?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“I need some time today. I’m sorr—” She quickly looks away and swallows hard. “I hope you’ve been happy staying with Fluttershy.” Her smile’s... real now. I can see a little of the old sparkle in her eye. She’s... glad I’m not staying with her?

We’re passing by Carousel Boutique now, and... wow! I haven’t been back since...

Rainbow Dash and Applejack are doing a great job!

“Thank you so much, girls! That looks wonderful!” Rarity shouts up to where Dash is kicking in the nails on some new shingles.

“We’ll have this done in no time!” Dash yells back over the sound of Applejack’s sawing. She takes off her goggles and swoops down to us. “We’ve got all the damage repaired to the showroom and guest room. Applejack’s just finishing up the interior, then we can hang drywall and paint. Sound good?”

Rarity hugs her and doesn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, she says, “I’ll pay you back. I really will! I’ve got some great ideas already of something to make for you.”

“Shoot, Rarity,” Applejack says as she comes outside, “you don’t owe us nothin’. You’d do the same for us, sugarcube!” Rarity’s eyes have glazed over, and I know that look, too. Her ears aren’t working anymore. “And howdy to you, too,” Applejack adds when she looks at me. I try to smile. Really, it’s hard not to smile back at Applejack, but... has Rarity told her?

“I’ve got something special planned for you as well! A nice denim saddlebag with some hardwood marquetry on the clasp. It would look stunning!” Rarity looks her in the eye and grabs her by the shoulders. “I mean it! I really do appreciate your help.”

“I know, Rarity. But calm down. This ain’t nothin’ to work yourself into a lather over. Friends help friends.” Applejack nods her head and pokes Rarity in the chest with those last three words, but sis still isn’t listening. “Look, we’ll show you ’round once we’re done, but it’s pretty dusty inside.” She takes her hat off and whacks it against her side, sending up a cloud to prove her point.

Sis stifles a sneeze, then nods back and waves up at Dash. She trots off again, but... it’s not toward Sugarcube Corner. “Sis?” I say and stop to point behind me. “Aren’t you going to...?”

She shakes her head and continues on a few paces. “No, I told you I needed some time today. Don’t worry about me. Go find your friends and have some fun.”

What do I do? I just stand rooted to the spot while she hangs her head, and she eventually goes on. She glances back a couple of times, but I haven’t moved. When she’s far enough away, I follow.

We go out past the edge of Ponyville and toward Canterlot. A couple of miles later, she finally trots off the road and through an old graveyard. She winds between all the old markers, and I duck behind a few. When she gets to the open field on the far side, she flops down in the grass near a big tree and rolls onto her back. Wait... Why’s she here? I creep a bit closer, but she isn’t doing anything. Only... looking at the sky. I swear I’ve been here an hour already, and I can’t even tell if she’s still awake.

“You ever stare”—I jump at the sudden voice, and I see Rarity jerk her head over toward it, too—“up into that blue so long that you can’t see anything else? Like you feel you’re floating up to it?”

Rarity holds a hoof to her chest and looks over on the other side of that big tree, where there’s a gray mare also lying in the grass. “Oh, hello,” sis says. “Octavia, isn’t it?”

The gray mare nods. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you’d see me over here.”

“I... guess so. Maybe a little. I guess I’ve just never paid attention,” Rarity says as she flops back on the ground.

“Hm?”

“About staring at the sky.”

“Oh.” Octavia starts tapping a rear hoof on the ground and folds her forelegs behind her head. “Sometimes I wish I could. Just float up and away, that is. It seems like there must be something better up there."

Wow. I don’t even... Rarity just lies there, too, with her mouth hanging open. Her ears perk up toward Octavia, and she says, “You’re... a musician. From Canterlot, right?” Octavia nods again, but after a pause, like when Diamond Tiara asks me something, and I don’t know which answer will give me more trouble. “You seem to do alright for yourself.”

Octavia shakes her head and sniffles. I can see Rarity’s back stiffen at the sound, but she relaxes again when Octavia starts chuckling. “I can’t complain. That doesn’t seem to stop me, though.”

“Is—is something wrong, dear?” Rolling on her side, Rarity props her head up.

Octavia closes her eyes, tilts her chin straight up, and sighs. “No... No. I'm sorry. I sound like a spoiled brat. It’s pathetic.” She gets to her hooves and starts walking back toward Canterlot.

“Wait!” Rarity calls after her. “If you need to talk to somepony...”

As she continues on her way, Octavia hangs her head and lets her ears droop.

I can’t believe what I just heard! Rarity feels sorry for a stranger and immediately wants to help. But she won’t say more than a few words to her own sister? I’m the one who needs you, sis! Please...

Great. Now I’m blubbering like a foal, and Rarity probably hears—

I look around, but sis is gone, already on her way back to Ponyville.

---

I’ve been back at school a couple of days now, but I’m still so sleepy all the time. Fluttershy wants to help, but all I can ever remember about the dreams is that the room feels so hot. She nods, but I don’t think she understands it, either. She tells me that I’m safe and everything is okay. Of course I’m safe. What could go wrong at Fluttershy’s?

Anyway, I’m headed there now, but first I’m stopping by the library one more time. Maybe tonight I can tell her. Maybe tonight I can sleep.

I go in the front door, and find sis working, as usual. “Hi,” I say. Stupid! Don’t just stand there looking at her! Why can’t I think of more than two things to say to her, and I can’t say the one that matters?

“Oh. Hi,” she says with that forced smile. “I finished Applejack’s saddlebag. What do you think?” She levitates it in front of me.

It really is pretty! Green denim, and there are embroidered red apples stitched all over it. “Applejack’s going to love it!”

For a few seconds, sis grins and giggles, but she catches herself, and her face falls. Her eyes, too—she can barely keep them open. “You can’t keep up like this.” I can’t believe she’d let those bags show under her eyes, but they’ve been there for days.

She waves a hoof at me. “Nonsense. I simply can’t let my clients down. And I must do something to repay our friends. It’s only proper.”

Twilight comes out of the kitchen, and Rarity notices her when she passes by. “Oh, Twilight, I’ve been speaking with someone lately, and... Well, do you have any books on psychology?”

With a hoof covering her smile, Twilight jerks her head toward the bookshelf behind sis. “Fiction is over there.” She’s having trouble holding in her laughter, but Rarity just arches an eyebrow at her. I don’t know. I don’t get it, either.

“Sorry,” Twilight says. “They really are on that shelf, though.” She points again, but that twinkle’s still in her eye as she keeps another giggle inside.

Twilight’s halfway up the stairs now, and as long as Rarity is distracted from her sewing, I figure I’ll try again. “But sis—”

“I’m awfully busy, and you’ve got school tomorrow. You really should get to bed.” Her head’s down, absorbed in her work again.

“I’m sorry...” A shiver runs down my back at hearing myself say that, but... I can’t stand this. I build up what courage I can and take a deep breath. “Rarity, I’m sorry—”

“It’s no trouble, dear. You aren’t bothering me. You do need to get to sleep, though.”

I snort and hold myself back from stomping a hoof on the floor. I hate this! My own sister. I can’t talk to my own sister. A few seconds later, I’m walking down the street to Fluttershy’s house.

---

It seems like a regular routine now. Leaving school, taking a walk to Sugarcube Corner, and standing there like a dummy until Rarity tells me to leave. I’m gonna do it today. I really am. Yeah, right. Just like all those other days I really was.

I walk in the front door and squeeze my eyes shut. It doesn’t matter. I know the way.

“Number thirty-eight? Box of raspberry tarts?” I hear Pinkie call out. To the right, between the first two dress racks, and...

“Rarity, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left the oven on, I’m sorry I caused the fire, I’m sorry it took me so long to talk to you, and—” I raise my head and open my eyes. There’s only an empty chair.

“Oh, are you looking for Rarity?” Mrs. Cake says from behind me. “She saw that—” she points at a beautiful sequined gown with a few wads of chewing gum stuck to it “—and started crying. Poor dear. She’s still all out of sorts.”

“I know.” I’m trying so hard, but I can’t hold my mouth steady anymore, and I can feel a few tears trickling down my cheeks. “And it’s my fault.”

Mrs. Cake wraps a foreleg around my shoulders and rubs my mane. “No, Sweetie Belle! You didn’t do anything wrong.” At least Rarity hasn’t been telling everypony what I did. “She said she needed to take some time to herself. She probably went back to the library.”

Bending down, she looks me in the eye for a second, but then turns her head away. “She does need to talk to you, but... just don’t forget that she loves you.” Mrs. Cake gives me a little squeeze.

And the next instant, I’m back out in the roadway. I know where Rarity’s gone.

---

From all the way over at the graveyard’s entrance, I can already see Rarity’s purple mane under that tree again. Octavia is there, too, but they’re sitting right beside each other this time. Good thing they’re facing away from me! I sneak up again behind the same old moss-covered headstone I used last time, but they’re not in the same spot—I can barely hear what they’re saying.

I lean around the side and poke my head forward, but it’s all still just mumbling. There are only a couple of rows of graves left between us, so I creep up through them. One of sis’s ears flicks toward me once. I don’t think she heard me, though. She doesn’t stop talking.

“...glad you’re feeling a little better, dear, but have you talked to anypony?”

Octavia shakes her head and sighs. “Who? Besides, you’re rather easy to talk to. Anypony ever tell you that?” She cracks a smile and looks at Rarity.

“I can’t say they have. In fact, quite the opposite lately, it seems.” Sis is looking at something out of the corner of her eye, but I can’t—

I duck back behind the headstone. Did she see me? I need to be more careful!

“But please continue. You were trying to figure it out the other day?” Rarity asks while she scratches the back of her head with a hoof.

“Do you feel”—Octavia sweeps a hoof around at the meadow—“sometimes like what you want is just beyond your reach? You're not even sure what it is, but it seems so close?”

Rarity nods even before Octavia finishes speaking. “Yes, I know something of that.” I can hear that hollowness in her voice, but at least it’s not flat. I’d give anything if she’d say something to me like that.

“I flipped through every page of sheet music I own. Started playing a bunch. Got as much as halfway through a few.” Octavia glances at the dirt beside her and scrapes a hoof across it. “I can’t find what I want. Nothing says what I need to say. It feels like I’m only going through the motions.”

“Have you considered just speaking, then?” Rarity asks, causing Octavia to wrinkle her forehead. “You know, when I first started out, it was so much fun to sew patterns, follow embroidery diagrams, stitch dress forms. There’s certainly honor in doing so, but for some ponies, learning the language is not enough. I’m sure you love the smiles that your performances create—” she waits until a faint grin forms on Octavia’s face “—but you’re repeating somepony else’s words. In a beautiful and individual way, to be sure, but they remain another’s speech.”

Octavia’s gaze jerks over to Rarity. “That’s exactly it.” She’s whispering, and I can barely make it out. “I take it you’ve been there before,” she says with a laugh.

Nodding, sis holds up a hoof and snorts. “That I have. But you’ve already made your own point. ‘Nothing says what I need to say.’ Simply put: say it yourself. It was a wonderful sensation the first time I created an original design. It wasn’t perfect, but it was mine. So... have you considered writing your own music?”

“I... It’s a different skill set, but...” Octavia watches the wind blowing the grass for a minute. “That’s... a rather elegant solution. Provided I can pull it off, of course.”

Rarity stretches a leg over and puts a hoof on Octavia’s shoulder. “Don’t go it alone. Certainly, in your social circles, you must know many ponies who can give you advice or help.”

“You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. I guess it’s enough to know that somepony else understands.” After taking a deep breath, Octavia gets to her hooves. Rarity rises, too, and they share a quick hug.

Just seeing that—my chest is tingling, and I think back to the other night when I asked for one. I don’t care anymore that sis doesn’t mean it. I’d still take it. To reach around her neck, stuff my nose in her mane, smell her perfume.

“And you’re going to tone it down with those gifts you’re making everypony, right?” Octavia adds.

With a sharp nod, Rarity answers, “Yes. I still intend to make them, but all in good time. I don’t think they’ll mind.”

I told sis earlier today. I said I was sorry. She wasn’t there, but I didn’t know that when I said it. I still told her. I can do it again.

My eyes are closed as I suck in a breath, and then—

I’ll do it tomorrow. I slump down against the cold stone.

---

It’s the weekend again, so I don’t know why I have to be up this early, but Fluttershy is leading me out the door after nearly stuffing a few waffles down my throat. “C’mon!” she urges, and she must be serious—she’s actually flying. I trot along and keep up as best I can.

“Where are we going?” I ask, and Fluttershy rolls her eyes around for a minute before breaking into a big smile.

“It’s finished!”

“Wha—?” I stop dead in my tracks and can’t help but share her grin. “Rarity will be so happy! I can’t wait to give her a hug...” My smile fades as a chill runs down my spine.

When she sees my face, she stops as well. “Oh, dear. She hasn’t spoken with you yet?”

I look up at her, and my eyes are wide open. I can feel my cheeks burning. She does know. Why is she being so nice to me?

“Oh...” she says. I fiddle with my hooves as I wait for her to do something, and she finally starts toward town again, a little more slowly now. I’m keeping pace with an easy canter.

When we get to Carousel Boutique, Rarity hasn’t shown up yet. I wait around outside for a minute next to a great-smelling table of cupcakes, and Pinkie gives me a nudge in the ribs. She shifts her eyes right and left, then sucks down a chocolate-frosted one and winks at me. Next thing I know, another is sliding across the table at me, and I have to eat it to keep it from falling on the ground. No use letting it go to waste.

“I reckon I’d better go ahead and give you the grand tour,” Applejack says, pulling her hat’s brim down. “O’ course, you know the place better’n I do. Go on. See if you can spot anything different.”

Applejack stays behind as I go in. Only parts of the showroom, Rarity’s washroom, and my r—er, the guest room—needed to be rebuilt. I can’t tell that anything’s changed, but the paint does seem a bit whiter. They’ve already moved everything back from the library and Sugarcube Corner. They’ve also left me alone in here.

I don’t want to stay inside for long. It just feels like Rarity should have been first, and... I’m not really ready to remember. I’m about to go back downstairs when I hear sis’s voice outside.

“I’m terribly sorry, but I needed to get that last bit of piping done. Oh, it looks spectacular!”

“Heh. No problem,” Dash says. I try to see them out the window of my—of the guest room, but they’re too far around the front of the building.

“’Tweren’t nothin’, sugarcube! We were happy to help.”

“Of course, I’ll be finishing up the gifts I promised everypony, but... it may take me a little while to do so.” Octavia had said something like that yesterday, but I... Did Rarity actually listen to her?

“You don’t have to do that,” Twilight says, and I can imagine Pinkie Pie standing next her, nodding so hard that her mane is flopping all around.

“Is Sweetie Belle...?” Rarity asks.

“She’s... um... inside already,” Fluttershy answers.

A minute later, I hear a few hoofsteps inside the front door, then slowly moving to the stairs. I’ve been here enough times to count them. One, two, three. Then the creaky one. I don’t even keep track anymore. I just know what the full flight sounds like, and she’s at the top now. What’ll she say? Especially here? My heart’s racing, but I didn’t notice it getting that way. She’s coming down the hall now, and I’m fighting to keep my lips straight. Right outside the door, and I can’t fight it anymore. I let the corners of my mouth fall, and the tears are rolling down my cheeks.

Finally, Rarity steps into my—the guest room, stupid! It’ll never be mine again! Her jaw drops when she sees me. I’m trying so hard to stop crying, but my whole body is shaking now. “Can I—C-can I please have a hug?” I squeak.

Her face is blank, but not the bored kind where her eyes are halfway shut—it’s the kind where she’s controlling it as hard as she can. I’ve seen it enough times before. After what feels like an hour, she gives me a little nod, and I rush her. I clamp my forelegs around her neck and press my cheek against her soft coat. “I’m sorry, Rarity! I’m so sorry! I should have said it a long time ago, and I tried, but I couldn’t, so I—” I have to pause for breath, and I take a great big sniffle.

I look up, and she’s got her forehead wrinkled up. “You’re sorry?” she says. She’s not smiling. Oh, Celestia! She’s not going to forgive me!

I gasp when I feel her hoof rubbing the back of my neck, then wrap around me to give me a squeeze. “It’s time we had a talk,” she says and gives me the first real smile I’ve seen from her since... before. “Come with me.”

We walk downstairs and out the front door together, and her friends are staring. “We’re going somewhere to talk,” she tells them, and they all relax a bit. I look back as we pass them, and Fluttershy is grinning at me. She waves a wingtip.

I follow Rarity, and before long, I know where we’re going. A few miles of silence, through an old graveyard and a short distance out into the field.

Octavia’s eyes light up when she sees Rarity, but when she notices me, too, she mouths an “ah” and gets up to leave. “I’m just heading back,” she says as she passes us in the other direction. “This must be Sweetie Belle!”

I shake her hoof as Rarity replies. “How did it work out?”

“Good. I’ll be in touch.”

Sis tosses her mane and gets a twinkle in her eyes. “That’s wonderful news! I’ll make you a dress, but of course it’s going to take a little while. I won’t take no for an answer.”

As Octavia trots off, Rarity points over by the tree. “Or if you’d rather take your usual spot behind the gravestones...”

My jaw drops as I plop down in the grass. “You knew?”

She nods and smiles a bit, but soon she takes a deep breath. “I’ve been coming here every couple of days. Anyway, I owe you an explanation, Sweetie Belle.” I swallow hard and wait for it. “I... haven’t been sleeping well. I keep having nightmares. That I leave—” she bites her lip and looks at the ground “—I leave you behind to save my dresses. I was completely irresponsible.”

“I have dreams, too,” I say. “That’s what Fluttershy told me, anyway. I don’t remember any, except... it’s hot. And then I wake up with Fluttershy asking me what I was yelling about.”

Sis starts rubbing her nose and wipes at an eye, and... I lose it. Before I know it, I’m crying again, and it’s all pouring out. “I’m sorry! It was all my fault! I left the oven on after I cooked you dessert, and I caused everything! Please don’t hate me! I know you already figured it out and were waiting for me to admit it. I tried. I really did! But I just couldn’t...”

She raises my chin with a hoof. “You thought it was your fault?” She sinks to her haunches and pulls me close. “No,” she keeps repeating, shaking her head. “No. I’ve made this all worse for you because I couldn’t deal with it myself. I should have taken my own advice rather than let things stew. ‘Simply put: say it yourself.’”

“Sweetie Belle,” she states, looking me in the eye. “I saw the oven. I turned it off before I came up to bed. You didn’t notice that there wasn’t any damage to the kitchen?”

My breath catches in my throat. Is it true? Yeah, Applejack and Dash didn’t have to do anything to the kitchen.

Looking away from me, Rarity pats my shoulder. “Can you forgive me? For not talking with you sooner, and because that made you think you were to blame?” She’s got teardrops trickling down her cheeks.

“Yes! That all I ever wanted! Just for things to be back to the way they were!” I cry, jumping at her. It takes a while for us both to calm back down, but I don’t care. It’s back. It’s all back. Her smile, the light in her eyes, a real hug. It’s back.

“Well... what did cause the fire, then?”

Sis suddenly starts shuddering, and I can’t tell whether she’s laughing or crying. I think it’s both.

“I left, “ she chokes out through a couple of sobs, “a candle burning downstairs.” Now, she’s definitely laughing, so hard that she’s having trouble talking. “A stress-relief... candle!” I can’t help but join in, and we both lie there shaking on the ground for several long minutes.

---

Rarity is sitting next to me, and we both have on our finest dresses. I smile up at sis—she’s wearing the hat I helped her make last week and the earrings I gave her for her birthday this year. And I have on a shawl that she just finished making for me yesterday.

There are some jumbled voices still going around the room, but they’re dying out since the intermission is almost over. A few more ponies crawl past us to get to their seats. Another minute later, the house lights dim.

From the far side of the stage, a stallion in a tuxedo walks out, and the musicians warm up their instruments again. We’ve got great seats in the front row, where I can smell wood and old paper from the string players on stage.

It’s Octavia! We all stomp our applause as she comes from backstage, bows, and takes the chair out in front of the orchestra. When the hoofbeats quiet down, she clears her throat.

“Before our final piece, I’d like to thank Rarity”—I beam up at sis and poke her in the shoulder as she blushes—“for this wonderful dress and for some good advice. And now may I present the premiere of a new concerto, co-written by me and my colleague, Vocalise. It’s titled ‘Breaking the Silence.’ I hope you enjoy it.” Octavia holds her bow up and fixes her eyes on the conductor.

Before the first beat, Rarity leans over and whispers to me, “Simply put: say it yourself.”

Comments

[Twi-Guy]

are there really no comments here, or is that just a glitch? odd, but i am soo used to seeing comments that i honestly dont know what a blank screen looks like.

well, anyway, to *groan* break the silence, have a comment. i liked it, but it did seem to get a little bit repititive in the middle. i think if you went back and added some things so it doesnt sound so similar it could be better but on the whole about ten times better than anything ive ever been able to come up with.