Rodeo Gaga

by Parchment_Scroll

The Roving Rodeo

Rodeo Gaga
The Roving Rodeo

"Applejack! Applejack!"

The blonde, orange-furred pony rolled her eyes, lining up for another buck. Anyone who thinks farm life's quiet an' peaceful ain't been 'round mah sister, she thought, then lashed out with her back hooves with well-practiced aim. As the apples fell from the tree into her carefully arranged basket, she adjusted her cowboy hat and called out.

"Ahm raht here, Applebloom! What's put a bee in yer bonnet t'day, huh?"

The little yellow filly scrambled over to her big sister, a large piece of paper flapping from her clenched teeth. "Ook! Ook! Uh Ehestiah Ovee Oeeeooh ih hummi hoo Honyvih!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "I cain't understand yuh, thar, Applebloom," she said, taking the flyer from her sister and spreading it on the ground between them. After a moment to take in the flyer's contents, she began to grin. "Well Ah'll be a prancin' party pony! The annual Equestrian Rovin' Rodeo's comin' ta Ponyville this year!"

Applebloom scowled, kicking a small rock. "Ah just said that," she complained, but her sister wasn't listening.

* * * * *

Twilight Sparkle and Spike were in a bit of a panic. To be fair, Twilight Sparkle was in a panic, and Spike was just exasperated with her, but if she wanted to think he was panicking too, he'd let her. Misery loves company, after all.

"I can't believe this!" She magically took book after book off the shelves. "How could the Mayor do this to me? I mean, I don't know a thing about rodeos! That's Applejack's..." She frowned, levitating a thesaurus over and flipping through pages before grimacing and giving up. "Thing," she finished weakly.

"So ask her for help," said Spike.

"I can't do that!" Twilight Sparkle whinnied. "Applejack is going to be competing! I can't turn to one of the competitors for help!"

"It's not like you're going to be organizing the rodeo itself, Twi," put in Spike. "They've got a whole staff for that! All you have to do is help them out with local things like supplies, a place to set up..."

Twilight seemed on the verge of calming down before she went off the deep end yet again. "Agghh! I didn't even consider that! Whenever I think of where they could set up, I think of Sweet Apple Acres' grazing fields, but that won't do at all! What will the cows do for lunch?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Settle down, Twi," he tried again. "It's a rodeo! They're tough, they can handle a few changes. It's not like Princess Celestia's coming to--"

"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Twilight's eyes widened in horror. "I totally forgot about Princess Celestia! I've got to make sleeping arrangements! Who-- Rarity!"

Spike blinked slowly, waving a clawed hand in front of Twilight's muzzle. "Twi, Princess Celestia is not coming to Ponyville. It's just. A rodeo!"

Twilight rounded to face Spike, her head pinning him against a counter. "Spike, Princess Celestia always goes to the Roving Rodeo. She started it! It's in her honor! She judges half the competitions!"

As that handily explained Twilight Sparkle's frantic mood, there was nothing Spike could say, other than "Oh."

* * * * *

Halfway around town from the Branches and Leaves Library, a similar -- albeit more controlled -- frenzy was taking place inside Ponyville's premier house of fashion, the Carousel Boutique.

"Oh dear," Rarity said. "Oh dear, oh dear. What ever shall I wear? I simply cannot be seen by the Princess wearing anything other than the finest of my wares!" She began to lift a jewel-studded lavender gown from one of the forms. "Oh, but I can't possibly wear this to... a rodeo."

Opalescence rolled her eyes. She loved Rarity as much as a pampered cat can love a pony -- which is to say she tolerated the high-strung fashionista's panic attacks, so long as Rarity doted upon her with all of the pampering and care she richly deserved -- but sometimes the unicorn could be a bit much.

"What's that, Opalescence?"

The cat, who hadn't so much as mewed, merely yawned and curled up to nap until the unicorn-induced storm of fabrics passed.

"But I simply must attend the rodeo, Opalescence! Princess Celestia will be there, which is to say, everypony who's anypony will naturally be there as well."

Before Opalescence realized what was happening, Rarity had swooped in on her and scooped her up with both front hooves. "And if I'm not there, that means I'm not somepony. And if I'm not somepony then I'm nopony!"

After Opalescence escaped, and the third outfit was rejected, Rarity let out a frantic laugh. "That's it! I must consult... an expert!" She trotted straight for the door. "Don't wait up, Opalescence, dear! Mommy's going to be a while!"

* * * * *

Rarity barely escaped the library with her sanity intact. She'd hoped to be able to consult photographic records in the library's archive, not get roped into one of Twilight's social-anxiety-induced frenzies. Not that she couldn't empathize with Twilight Sparkle, of course. It's just that neither of them was of any use to the other -- each only heightened the other's state of anxiety until the two of them were a nervous wreck.

Rarity stifled a small laugh when she realized this was perhaps the first time Spike had suggested a plan of action that separated her from the baby dragon. But he'd had a point. If Twilight's records were in disarray, the only ponies likely to have a good photographic history of rodeos in Equestria were the Apple family!

Head high, mane bouncing, and a song on her lips, Rarity trotted off to see her good friend Applejack.

Along the way, she found herself thinking about the orange pony. They'd hardly been acquaintances when Twilight Sparkle first came to town. But between the confrontation with Nightmare Moon, the lesson learned at Twilight Sparkle's first sleepover, and numerous other minor adventures through the weeks, they'd become much closer friends. Well, the unicorn mused, they do say it takes different trots for different ponies.

She'd barely finished the thought when the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of apples falling into baskets alerted her that she'd reached her destination. Looking around, she spotted her friend bucking apples in the south field. "Why, hello, Applejack," she called out merrily.

Applejack, startled, turned mid-buck, her right hoof hitting the tree at an angle, while her left hoof, disastrously, missed entirely. "EEeoow!" Applejack's eyes screwed up in pain. "Tarnation," she griped. "Ah ain't missed a buck since I was Applebloom's age."

Lining up for another buck, she planted her front hooves, lifted her haunches, then winced and collapsed. It was no good. She'd wrenched her hip too badly to buck.

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