Chapter Thirteen: The Best Night Ever
“…I know, Twi – why don’t we tell Snake about that time we had to break into the Royal Canterlot Library?” Pinkie Pie said excitedly.
“Such a good idea!” Twilight agreed. Twilight’s group of friends – Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack – were all staying over at the library with us tonight. Although it was already nearing midnight, they had spent most of the time so far telling me about some of their past adventures, and didn’t look to be stopping anytime soon.
“It all started in this library,” Twilight began. “As I was preparing my monthly schedule one morning, I was interrupted by my future self, who had travelled back in time. She had come to tell me something important, but because of her ragged appearance, I assumed that she wanted to warn me of some sort of upcoming disaster.”
“You had travelled back in time to prevent a disaster?” I repeated. I shook my head disapprovingly. “You can’t go changing the future like that! You’ll create a time paradox!” All of the ponies, who were sitting around on some extra beds which Twilight had set up, laughed at this. “I was being serious,” I grumbled to myself quietly.
“Anyway, after spending nearly a week trying to stop this non-existent disaster,” Twilight continued, “Pinkie Pie, Spike and I all snuck into the Star Swirl the Bearded wing of the Royal Canterlot Library – I was hoping to find a spell to stop time, and therefore the disaster.”
“Time paradox!” I repeated, reinforcing what I had said moments ago. It was the sort of advice which I was sure that Colonel Campbell would give if time travel were possible on Earth. “So what happened in the end, anyway?” I added, curious now.
“Well, we managed to get into the library, but after a while, I realised that there was no disaster to worry about,” Twilight said. “Pinkie Pie found a spell which could send me back in time for a few moments, which I used to try and tell my past self not to worry so much – and the rest is history, I suppose.”
“You suppose, huh?” I repeated. “Where is this Canterlot place, anyway? It sounds pretty important.”
“Well, duh! The Wonderbolts perform there all the time!” Rainbow Dash said enthusiastically. I turned to another pony in the hopes of more useful information.
“You know that city in the mountains, which we can see quite clearly from down here in Ponyville?” Rarity asked me. I nodded as I recalled it. “That is Canterlot! Oh, the prestige! The fashions! The culture! If the ponies there weren’t so high-and-mighty, I would likely move there in an instant!”
“Not to mention that Princess Celestia lives there,” Twilight Sparkle added.
“Personally, I just like the different types of critters which live in the Canterlot Gardens,” Fluttershy said, smiling as she did so.
“Really?” Rainbow Dash asked her fellow pegasus, looking confused by this statement. “After what happened at the Grand Galloping Gala?” Every pony in the room gave a small shudder, as if repressing painful memories.
“Oh, I’m sure that I was just too hasty and impatient that time,” Fluttershy explained. “They’re still all wonderful creatures.”
“What’s the Grand Galloping Gala?” I asked, feeling as though I was missing something. I vaguely remembered being asked about it on my first day in Ponyville, but I hadn’t had it explained properly.
“It’s the most horrible and boring event ever!” Pinkie Pie said, frowning slightly. “It sounds like it’ll be tons of fun, but it’s not!”
“It’s full a’ upper-class, stuck up, snobbish ponies!” Applejack agreed.
“The Wonderbolts aren’t stuck up,” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath.
“It’s not that bad - it’s just not perfect,” Fluttershy countered.
“It could be better, true, but for what it is, it is enjoyable enough – provided you know who to avoid,” Rarity said. None of this had provided me with answers.
“Could be better, huh?” I repeated. “So what is it exactly?”
“It’s an annual event held at Canterlot Castle,” Twilight explained. “It’s basically a ballroom dance and upper-class party.”
“PARTY?! Those ponies should be sued for false advertising!” Pinkie Pie added, apparently feeling very invested in the subject.
“Anyway,” Twilight continued, “the next Gala is coming up soon – Princess Celestia has sent us all free tickets to attend, but we haven’t decided whether we want to go this year or not.”
“Why bother thinking about it?” I asked. “It sounds like none of you really enjoy it.”
“The Gala itself isn’t that amazing,” Rainbow Dash explained, “but we’ve learned from past experience that spending time together in Canterlot is good fun. So that’s why we’re not sure whether we should attend or not.”
“How long do you have to decide?” I asked. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear the rational part of my brain asking why I was so interested in this girly Gala gunk, but I repressed these thoughts.
“It’s in just under two weeks,” Twilight said. “In fact, now that I think about it, I think that it’s the same night that we’re planning to send you back, Snake!”
“That soon, huh?” I asked. Hearing this reminded me of that day, not too long ago, when Twilight Sparkle had found a definite solution to send me back to Earth…
===================
“That constellation is Canis Major, Snake – not Minor,” Twilight explained as she showed me through her telescope. To tell the truth, I wasn’t that interested in astronomy, but I chose to humour Twilight rather than outright tell her.
“Canis… Major?” I repeated, trying to sound interested. Fortunately, Twilight fell for it.
“Yes – it’s an easy constellation to spot, once you know how to,” she explained.
“I never would have put you down as a fan of astronomy, Twilight,” I said as I tilted the telescope around in a random direction. “I’m surprised that you borrowed so many books from the Baltimare library on it.”
“Well, after reading, astronomy is one of my favourite hobbies,” Twilight said as she took over the telescope from me. “There are so many interesting things out there in space – look at this meteor shower, for instance!” She moved aside so that I could look through the eyepiece again. Sure enough, there were a series of white dashes hastily moving through the night sky.
“Does this particular shower have a special name, or anything?” I asked, struggling for something to say.
“No, I don’t believe that this one does,” Twilight said as she flipped through one of the books which she had brought from Baltimare. “That reminds me, though – I should look to see whether there are any upcoming astrological phenomena that will be visible from Ponyville.” As Twilight continued reading her astronomy book, I took it as an excuse to walk away from the telescope and back to where I was doing some reading of my own.
Unfortunately, it looked as though Twilight had been correct when she had assumed that the spell books I had borrowed may not contain a definite way to return me to Earth. In fact, aside from the covers, the books that I had borrowed were almost exactly the same as some of the books in Twilight’s library, with a few more useless spells thrown in.
I occasionally found myself wondering whether I would never return to Earth, and be stuck in Equestria forever. I was adapting to Equestria fairly well, but it was still a worrying thought. For all I knew, something in the air here could cause me to age faster than I should have naturally been, and leave me drowning in time. Well, if it turned out to be impossible for me to return to Earth, at least I would have another project to work on whilst in Equestria – finding a way to manufacture cigarettes.
After flipping past another spell which was useless to me (“Increase the strength of your telekinesis! You’ll be lifting up train cars in no time!”), I voiced my frustration. “These spell books are just as useless as the ones that were already here, in your library!” I said. “There’s nothing here to help me at all!”
Twilight walked down the stairs by her telescope, to where I was lying on my stomach, reading. She lay down next to me and sighed. “I’m sorry, Snake, but I did warn you that there might not be a solution to allow you to return in these books. I’m sure that there’s a way, though – I know I’ve read one somewhere!”
“Have you really, or are you just saying that to make me feel better?” I asked bitterly. In retrospect, the frustration of not finding a spell, combined with the voice in my brain begging for nicotine, was making me much more impatient than usual.
“I’m certain that I’ve read of one before,” Twilight confirmed, “but I just don’t know where! We were so close with that other combination –if only my teleportation spell was more powerful!”
“More… powerful?” I asked. It was the first time that she had mentioned this, and it was giving me an idea.
“Yes – I’ve given it some thought, and conducted some research, and I’m certain that it was because of my teleportation spell being too weak that I accidentally brought Ocelot to Equestria, instead of sending you back to Earth.”
“Ocelot,” I muttered as I clenched my fists. “It’s a good thing that he returned to Earth after the spell wore off – or he would regret it,” I said. If he had hurt any innocent ponies, I would have cut off his remaining arm – at the very least. “But still,” I said, continuing on from what I had been thinking earlier, “you say that you need to increase the strength of your teleportation spell? Is there any way to do that?”
“Weeeeelllll…” Twilight began, giving it some serious thought, “… the Element of Magic might be able to increase my magical prowess – it can do some pretty amazing things.”
“The Element of Magic?” I repeated. This was new to me.
“Oh, it’s one of the Elements of Harmony,” Twilight explained. “My friends and I each have the ability to wield one of them – when used together, they can perform powerful magic. But what most ponies don’t know is that each Element can be used on its own – they’re just much weaker by themselves.”
Although this sounded promising to me, Twilight Sparkle shook her head sadly. “But I doubt whether it would be able to increase the power of my spell just like that –” here, Twilight stomped a hoof on the floor softly, which I supposed was the pony equivalent of clicking your fingers “- it would probably need to be used in conjunction with some other magical effect.” This didn’t seem to make much sense to me, but I supposed that Twilight was the expert here, not me.
“So you need the Element of Magic, alongside another unknown magical effect, in order to send me back home?” I asked. Although it wasn’t much to go on, at least I had a new lead on how I could return to Shadow Moses to resume my mission. “What sort of magical effect would you be looking for?” I asked, flipping to the Contents page of the spell book I had in front of me.
“Some sort of magical field, really,” Twilight said as she gave it some thought. “Something like… oh my gosh! That’s it!” She stood up and cantered back up the stairs to her telescope. After a moment of waiting to see what she would do, I picked myself up and followed her.
“What is it, Twilight?” I asked her. She was frantically flipping through the astronomy book which she had been reading earlier. After a moment, she found what she was looking for.
“This is it, Snake! This is how I can send you home for sure this time!” she said excitedly. She levitated the book up so that I could see what she was talking about.
“A meteor shower over Ponyville?” I questioned as I skimmed over the page. “That’s nice, but how does that get me home?”
“Don’t you see, Snake?” Twilight levitated the book back so that she could read from the page. “This upcoming meteor shower contains meteors made of Magicinesium – they’ll give off the right kind of magical field that I can use the Element of Magic with!”
“So… if you get the Element of Magic, you can send me home as long as this meteor shower flies over Ponyville?” I asked. It sounded sketchy to me, and I questioned how Twilight could know that the meteors would project the right sort of magical field, but I wasn’t going to complain if this really was a solution.
“Yes, that sounds about right,” Twilight said as she went over the book again. “The meteor shower will fly over Canterlot prior to Ponyville, but that won’t really affect us… I’ll have a five minute window to perform the spell, which should be fine… Yes, it looks as though this really will get you home, Snake!”
Although this sounded like good news, part of me was still a little sceptical that nothing was going to go wrong, especially with the way that Ocelot had been brought to Equestria the last time that Twilight had tried sending me home. Still, Twilight had identified the problem that had happened the last time she had tried sending me home, so hopefully this time she would be successful.
“When is this meteor shower?” I asked as I realised that I might still have to wait for a while before I could return to Shadow Moses.
“You’re in luck, Snake – a little over two weeks from now!” Twilight said. “It’s a good thing that we found this now – it would have been terrible if we had only found out after the meteor shower had passed!”
“Two weeks, huh?” I repeated. “I can handle that. And where’s this Element of Magic kept?”
“In Canterlot Castle, with the rest of the Elements of Harmony,” Twilight replied. “I’ll send a letter to Princess Celestia in the morning requesting it – I’d be amazed if she has a problem with me using it.” She put a hoof to her chin as she thought of something else. “You know, Snake, if you’re going to be leaving Equestria soon, we should probably organise something with all the girls – give you a nice send-off.”
“…What were you thinking of?” I asked, not sure whether I liked the way that this was going.
“Well, Pinkie Pie is the best at parties – all the ponies will agree –”
“No thanks,” I interrupted. “I’m not really the partying sort,” I lied, in reality thinking of how chaotic a Pinkie Pie party would probably be.
“Well then, how about a sleepover?” Twilight suggested after another moment of consideration. Truth be told, I didn’t really want any sort of large send-off, but a sleepover… this I could handle.
“Yeah, alright,” I said after a moment of thinking it over. “Sounds like a plan…”
===================
“... remember that changeling that tried to be me?” Pinkie Pie asked, laughing slightly as she said so.
“Yeah, but that was only because you asked it to, remember?” Rainbow Dash replied, although she was chuckling slightly too.
“Changeling, huh? ...What are we talking about again?” I had been so caught up in thinking about the past that I had lost track of the conversation going on. It just went to show that as much as the past could influence someone, the memories people have are burdens that they have to carry. It doesn’t matter if they’re –
“My brother Shining Armour’s wedding to Princess Cadance,” Twilight Sparkle said, interrupting my train of thought. “We ended up under attack from changelings – it’s a pity that you weren’t here at the time.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, confused. Although it had probably been mentioned earlier when I was reminiscing, this was the first that I had heard of Twilight having a brother, or of these changeling creatures – whatever they were.
“Judgin’ by the way you saved the Cutie Mark Crusaders from th’ Everfree Forest, ah’d say that you’d ‘a been mighty useful in helpin’ us fight those Changelings,” Applejack answered.
“I guess so,” I replied dully. “Did Shining Armour and ... the Princess’s wedding work out in the end?”
“Yes, everything was fine once the changelings were forced out of Canterlot,” Twilight replied. “Say, Snake... do you have any siblings?”
“Yeah...” I replied slowly. “I’ve got a twin brother – his name’s Liquid Snake.”
“Liquid Snake?!” Rainbow Dash asked, sounding shocked. “What a stupid name! It’s the exact opposite of yours!”
“Well... I’m sure there’s a point to it...” I said. Now that Rainbow Dash had brought it up, it occurred to me that it was kinda weird that Liquid’s name was the exact opposite of mine.
“Ooh! Is there a Gas Snake?” Pinkie Pie added cheerfully.
“How about a Solidus Snake?” Twilight suggested. I got the impression that these ponies thought that my brother’s name was silly, but were too polite to laugh at it.
“Solidus Snake? What the hell is a solidus?” I asked Twilight. Surely she was just making words up now to tease me.
“It’s a state of matter in-between a solid and a liquid, Snake,” Twilight explained to me. I grimaced a little.
“It still seems a little... unlikely,” I said. I thought it over for a moment. “If I did have a second brother, his name would probably be...”
“Gas Snake! Gas Snake!” Pinkie Pie said excitedly, wanting her suggestion to be chosen.
“I was going to say Vapour Snake. That sounds much better,” I said, before shrugging. “Not that it matters – I only have one brother.”
“Really, Snake?” Rainbow Dash asked, with a look of mischief upon her face. “How do we know that this second brother isn’t someone important, and you’re just jealous of him?” Although I knew that Rainbow Dash was just teasing me, I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve secretly got a second brother, and he’s the ruler of my country,” I said sarcastically. “...Actually, it’s probably a good thing that I don’t have another brother,” I added as I thought about how I still had to face Liquid when I returned to Shadow Moses.
“Why not? Don’t you get on with Liquid?” Twilight asked, sounding concerned now.
“I’ve never even met him,” I admitted to her, “but when I do, it’ll probably be... violent.” I hadn’t even thought about how my confrontation with Liquid would play out, but as I spoke, I started picturing it in my mind for the first time...
===================
In my mind’s eye, I was in Shadow Moses once more. I opened a small, nondescript door, to find myself in a control room, where Liquid Snake was operating a control panel – presumably preparing to fire a nuclear missile from Metal Gear REX.
“LIQUID!!!!!” I shouted as I withdrew my SOCOM pistol and pointed it at him. He turned away from the control panel, and faced me.
“BRRRRROTHER!!!!” he replied, drawing out the word. For some reason, in my mind I was picturing Liquid with an exaggerated British accent.
===================
...No, the more I thought about it, I doubted whether our eventual confrontation would play out anything like that. Surely it would consist of more than the two of us shouting each other’s name loudly. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’ll see Liquid when I return to Earth – for now, that’s all in the future.”
“An excellent point, Snake,” Twilight agreed. “That friend of yours that you mentioned to me a few weeks ago – Grey Fox, was it? Do you think that he’ll be happy to see you when you return?” I thought back to when I had faced Grey Fox in Shadow Moses. It seemed so long ago now.
“Hurt me more, Snake! Harder! HARDER!” I grimaced at the memory of my former friend being in so much agony, both physical and mental, that he wanted me to end his life in one final battle. “Yeah, he’ll probably love the sight of my face,” I said, with only a hint of sarcasm. “Let’s – let’s talk about something different,” I added, not wanting to think about the wreck of a human being which my mentor had become.
There was a moment of silence as the ponies tried to think of a new topic. “Hey Snake!” Rainbow Dash said, breaking the silence. “Remember that trick I was practicing a few weeks ago? I finally perfected it!”
“You mean the…” I struggled to remember the name of the stunt which Rainbow Dash had shown me when I first arrived in Equestria. “…Sonic Cloudboom?”
“No – the other one, of course!” Rainbow corrected.
“Wait – you’ve been workin’ on a trick other than the Cloudboom?” Applejack asked Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash gave a small chuckle.
“Yeah – the second one’s not as impressive as the Cloudboom, so I decided to show it to Snake before I showed any of you guys. That way I could tell whether it was any good or not!”
“Is it, Snake? Is it is it is it?!” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly.
“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” I said, giving my honest opinion. Before I could add more, Rainbow Dash interrupted me.
“ ‘Pretty good’? Now that I’ve perfected it, it’s way better than just ‘pretty good’!” She made a sound of disgust. “You need to get better at your compliments, Snake – remember how I had to give you a lesson on how to cheer?” I grimaced slightly as I recalled the day, several weeks ago, when Rainbow had shown me her new trick…
===================
“Now – what have we learned?” Rainbow Dash asked me, flying back-and-forth in front of me. She was at eye level.
“Not to hang around arrogant pegasi,” I muttered too quietly for her to hear me. She flew right up to my face.
“Excuse me? What was that?”
“Loss of control,” I growled, saying the first thing which came into my head. She flew back to where she had been a moment ago, and nodded. “Screaming and hollering,” I added , trying to remember what she had said when she had lectured me on cheering a few minutes ago.
“Yes – and most importantly?”
“Passion!” I said, remembering the final thing she had told me.
“Right!” Rainbow Dash said, landing as she said so. She looked up to me as she continued. “So now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let’s hear one!” I gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to do this.
“Good job, Rainbow Dash,” I deeply said in my gravelly voice. Rainbow Dash put a hoof over her eyes in frustration.
“Urgh – you’re gonna cheer for me like that?!”
“Yeah. So?”
“Louder!” she said, exasperated.
“Good job, Rainbow Dash!”
“Louder!”
“Good job, Rainbow Dash!” The pegasus closed her eyes and shouted at me –
“LOOOOUDER!!” I clenched my fists as tight as I could, and gritted my teeth even harder. Anything to get this over with.
“Good job, Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow Dash’s legs collapsed and she fell to the ground, apparently giving up on the idea of teaching me how to cheer properly. “Too loud?” I asked sarcastically.
===================
“Yeah, I remember,” I answered Rainbow Dash, “but it all worked out in the end, right?” She rolled her eyes and muttered something to herself which I couldn’t make out properly.
All throughout the rest of the night, the six ponies and I stayed up, telling stories to one another, and singing songs – which of course, I declined joining in. As each pony began to grow drowsier and close their eyes, Twilight turned to me. “I hope this night has been fun for you, Snake,” she said as she yawned.
“Yeah… it has been,” I began hesitantly, not sure how to say what I wanted to next. “Look, Twilight… no, all of you.” Despite how tired they were, the ponies opened their eyes to listen to what I had to say. “This stay in Equestria… it hasn’t been as bad as I first thought that it would be, thanks to all of you… but still…” I sighed, trying to find the right words.
“The person who sent me here… he’s a psychic. You know what that means? It means that I have no idea whether he’s actually sent me here, to Equestria, or whether this is all in my head…”
“What’s the point you’re trying to make, Snake?” Rainbow Dash asked, somewhat impatiently. I sighed again. Couldn’t they see what I was getting at?
“It means… none of you could be real. You could all be in my imagination, and that you’ll stop existing if I leave Equestria –when I leave Equestria…” I wasn’t sure how they would take the knowledge that they mightn’t be real, but right now, they weren’t showing much of a reaction.
“So what, Snake?” Twilight asked. “Even if you’re right, and we’re not real - that doesn’t mean that our friendship isn’t!” As she spoke, I felt a strange feeling inside my chest. I couldn’t describe it perfectly, but it almost felt like… a spark.
“Hug attack!” Pinkie Pie said from across the room, and somehow launched herself at me as though fired from a spring.
“Aargh! Pinkie – no -!” I started to say as she hugged me as hard as she could. Before I knew it, the rest of the ponies were joining in the hug, all doing their best to convey their feelings of friendship through the group hug.
After a futile attempt to escape, I managed to squeeze my arms out… and reluctantly began hugging them in turn. After all – what are friends for?
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I love the fact that Snake judge as improbable things that are really going to happen to him later.
The irony
As for you....
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maapc1UN5U1rc4d7do1_400.gif
Let the D'awws flow forth!
Also, who wants to place bets on who's the next FOXHOUND member to be randomly sucked into Equestria? My money's on Decoy Octopus' corpse.
I'll be honest. If that's true about Solidus being a state between liquid and solid... I didn't know that.
I always thought they just added an "us" to Solid in MGS2
Awesome chapter.
1912586
...which then comes to life and it's revealed that Octopus is a changeling...
1913244
Yeah, I thought so too, but then I found out about the state of matter (it's also a type of coin that was used to pay Roman soldiers), and it makes sense - Solidus has a genetic balance in-between Liquid and Solid, in that he has both recessive and dominant genes. I'm pretty sure that there's more to it than that, seeing as how much subtext and symbolism and stuff can be found in the MGS series, mind.
Oh, the things you can find out from spending hours on the Metal Gear Wiki!
1917009
lol. Indeed.
Also, on an unrelated note. I HATE THE FURY WITH A FIERY PASSION.
My god. I died on that boss fight at least 15 times before beating him via Stamina drain No other boss fight has ever pissed me off quite so much.
Anyway... off to infiltrate Grazny Grad
P.S. I blame you for my current Metal Gear binge.
1917009
That ... is an absolutely awesome idea.
MAKE IT SO!
1917083
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1917083
Huzzah! I'm brainwashing people! Come to think of it, I've been meaning to do a perfect run of the original MGS sometime soon...
1917176
I've already know where I'm going for the rest of this story, and I have no immediate plans to change anything too big, but someone should still totally write that...
(Hint hint).
1917201
True story... I didn't realize it until after I posted.
I...never knew that about Solidus. I thought it might've been some kinda Solid/Liquid mix, but I don't remember the games ever literally saying that besides just being a third brother.
1917083 really? the fury was that hard? its been a while but it wasn't that hard was it. then again i never really died on a boss fight. i always had enough rations and other things. all of my death were me failing at stealth and getting overwhelmed by enemy forces. oh and the sorrow. yeah i restarted twice till i figured it out. MGS3: My favorite boss was "the ladder" my second being "The Boss" and the third being "The End" fourth was every Ocelot Encounter
sadly i havent finished any other MGS games
Now if you'll excuse me I need to go do something BRITISH!
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5855453
You. Bastard.
I'll make you watch and listen to the terrible and beautiful screams as I tear your family limb from limb, beat you with their component parts, and then when you're bruised and bloodied and despairing...
I'll tear your heart out, and make you eat it.
Edit: I am in no way sociopathic. I also have no anger issues whatsoever, and if you tell me otherwise I'll feed you to a woodchipper.
https://coub.com/view/33eoi548
I smell a hyperdub.