Archives of the Friendquisition

by Inquisipony Stallius

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Caballus watched the images on the viewscreens with awe. Using the ship’s powerful auspex and pict-cording arrays, they could see individual ponies running for their lives in the town below. Dozens were being chased out into the street, or snatched by the Grabbers who popped right out of the ground. He was silently thankful the array wasn’t quite powerful enough make out their faces.

“The Ordo Zoonos designates them Canis Rhombus,” Lady Vigilant said, without looking up. “More commonly referred to as ‘Diamond Dogs,’”

“I had never even heard of them,” said Caballus. “The locals were calling them ‘Deep-Grabbers.’”

“How quaint,” she replied, “but rather accurate, I suppose. They haven’t been seen in this sector for generations, but small raiding parties have been striking villages in sectors to the north and west for hundreds of years. Their territory has been expanding lately, but even so, it’s thankfully rare to see anything quite like this.”

She panned one viewscreen to a battle that had broken out around a building that Caballus was fairly sure had been the town’s bank. It appeared as though some of the remaining bandits had barricaded themselves inside, and were managing to keep the zoonos at bay. Caballus’s estimate of Applemattox not lasting an hour was beginning to look like a slight underestimation.

That is, until the Diamond Dogs pulled back out of the range of the ponies’ pies. A few minutes later, the entire structure began to quake, before it collapsed into a giant sinkhole. The beasts then clambered over the splintered timbers to dig out any survivors. For what, Caballus was positive he didn’t want to know.

“There’s a certain beauty to it, isn’t there?” said Lady Vigilant.

Caballus didn’t answer. His gaze remained glued to the spectacle happening below.

“Seeing the death-throes of an entire town,” she continued. “It’s like watching some great, wounded animal fight its last, noble struggle. The way it convulses, clinging to life even as life slowly bleeds away. It’s almost poetic.”

“Forgive me if I don’t share your enthusiasm,” Caballus replied. Her description of the sight had been sickeningly accurate. Applemattox was bleeding out, and it was bleeding profusely.

“I forgot, Caballus. You mostly roam the inner sector, don’t you? I imagine your work for the Hereticolt never takes you very far from civilization. And rarely near any war zones.” Lady Vigilant gave him a smirk. “I hope it’s not making you squeamish.”

Caballus stiffened at the remark. “Heretics and traitors are just as dangerous in our midst as on the battlefield. There are no ‘easy’ tasks in any Ordo.”

Seeming satisfied with the answer, she returned her attention to the screen. “True enough.”

“Inquisipony,” said Captain Rein behind them. Caballus turned around, only to realize the Marine had been addressing Lady Vigilant. “My brothers are loaded into their drop-pods, and the Guard transports are standing by for launch orders. They await your command to commence the counterattack.”

The Lady Inquisipony gave a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Tell your Marines they may stand down,” she said, “and the Guard as well.”

“What?” Caballus and the Captain asked in unison.

“There’s been a change of plans.” The Lady Inquisipony went over to the holo-table. She lifted the rosette hanging around her neck over her head with magic, and pressed it into the console. The seal of the Friendquisition appeared above the table, along with new orders for the fleet.

“You can’t be serious,” Caballus said once he finished reading them. They were bombardment coordinates.

“I am very serious,” the unicorn replied. “My Beastwatch kill-team has been following these Diamond Dogs for months now, and we have precious little to show for it. Their movements have been uncannily elusive; they somehow seem to know every hole in our defenses, and how to slip through them. We didn’t even know how many there were, until I received this.”

A data scroll floated out from under her cape. It was Caballus’s letter.

“Plotting their trail, I had narrowed down the next likely target to Applemattox, so I requisitioned some ships, enlisted the aid of the Captain here, and came here to intercept them. I was expecting to face a raiding party on the ground with overwhelming force, and fight them back into their burrows where we could exterminate them.”

The console before her beeped repeatedly with the acknowledgements of the other ships in the fleet.

“Imagine my surprise when a letter arrives, bearing an emergency seal of a fellow Inquisipony, and telling me that not only do the Dogs have an entire army below Applemattox, but that all the townsfolk are conspiring with heretics as well. Now, instead of rescuing a tiny town from a small threat, I find myself watching one enemy destroying another. Quite frankly, I don’t see the point of going down there anymore. Not when your letter gave me a better idea.”

“You would deprive my brothers of meeting the foe in battle?” Captain Rein said. Though such an accusation was likely a grave one for a Pony Marine to make, it came out as serenely as everything else he said.

That didn’t stop Caballus’s hair from standing on end.

“I would,” she said bluntly. “But this isn’t about winning a single battle anymore. If we met them on the ground, we would probably defeat them-”

“We would definitely defeat them,” the Captain interjected.

“And our victory would cost us dearly.” The mare sighed, pacing back and forth in front of the holo-table as if giving a lecture to a class of foals. “At the first sign of defeat, the cowardly beasts would break and scatter, and we’d have not just one army to track down, but ten, or twenty. Protecting the entire frontier from such a threat would stretch our forces to the limit. For all their prowess, even the Astrotes can’t be in all places at once.

“But if we strike them here,” she said, pointing at the holographic representation of Applemattox on the table, “with all their forces committed in one place, at one time, we will accomplish with a single blow what might otherwise take years and waste thousands of lives.”

The Captain weighed the options carefully. His displeasure at being robbed of a chance for glory was obvious, but Lady Vigilant’s reasoning and expertise were unassailable.

“So be it,” he said. With a few purposeful strides, he came up behind a Meq-Priest manning the ship’s internal communications and gave the order. “All ordinance, arm and prepare to fire on these coordinates.”

The party cannons of the Merciful Judgment groaned as they angled themselves to match their downward firing solutions. In the hellish, poorly ventilated decks deep below the bridge, sweaty teams of ponies pulled the chains that loaded the ammunition. Cakes the size of carriages were lowered into each breech, and a Meq-Priest blessed each mechanism in turn as it swung closed and locked like a great vault door. In minutes, the preliminary salvo was ready.

But it was in the belly of the ship that the true death-blow was prepared. Even with a crane aiding them, it took forty ponies just to bring the weapon to its torpedo tube. The hardened dessert represented the terrible pinnacle of Ponykind’s military technology, the single most destructive force Equestria could unleash: the Cyclonic Fruitcake.

“You have to wait,” Caballus implored, seeing the batteries report their readiness. “I need more time.”

Lady Vigilant cocked an eyebrow. “Whatever for, Caballus?”

“The Children of Liberation are up to something,” he said, struggling to put a case together. “The cult was in league with these zoonos, and I’m sure they’re the ones who brought them here. Their leaders have already escaped and I need to find out where they went. If you would hold off the bombardment for just a little while, I… I could… capture a cultist for interrogation, or… get their travel logs from the town’s archives, or… something! Please, just give me more time.”

The crimson unicorn shrugged. “We were holding here the entire time, and we saw no trains, no wagons, no airships in the area at all, except for yours.”

“But…” Caballus was at a loss. How could they not have seen the other airship? Shouldn’t their sensors have been able to see it, even in the sandstorm?

“But if you read my letter,” he continued, changing the subject, “then you know that there are prisoners down in the caves,” Caballus argued, “some of whom are there because they stood up to the cult and stayed loyal to the Princess.”

“And theirs will be a tragic but necessary sacrifice,” the Lady countered. “You’re welcome to go down there and try rescuing them, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I’m sorry, but time for you to go down and gather clues to track down a couple of heretics or save a handful of innocents is a luxury we simply don’t have. The Diamond Dogs won’t stay put for very long.”

“These aren’t just backward frontier cultists,” Caballus insisted, “they’re Traitor Marines!”

Before he could even see the Lady’s reaction, Captain Rein was in front of him.

“You saw Traitor Marines?” It was intoned almost like an accusation, and the sudden intensity of the supersoldier’s gaze nearly made Caballus flinch.

“I… Yes. In the caves under the town,” he said, regaining his composure. He reached into his saddlebag and produced a data-scroll containing copies of the picts he had taken. “There were two of them.”

The yellow-clad Marine fed the scroll into a cogitator. He ordered a diminutive, hunched Meq-priest to guide the machine through its analysis, and the images were displayed on the viewscreen above. The first was of Sniffles.

“I recognize the markings on this one,” Captain Rein said before the computer had even finished matching them. “Almost two hundred and fifty years ago, a full company of Marines from the Rainbow Scars chapter were en route to the Rabbat Towns Crusade when a freak storm blew them into the Everfree. They were declared Lost in the Woods for an entire century before they reemerged as a warband called the Apostles of Smooze.”

The scorn was almost tangible in the Captain’s words as he spat the name. While hatred of all foes was deeply ingrained in every Marine, they held a special contempt for the enemy who had once been their brothers.

Then the screen changed to the red Marine with the skull mask. Captain Rein said nothing, scrutinizing the image, but not recognizing anything from it. He finally turned to the Meq-Priest, who reported a similar failure to identify any patterns or heraldry.

“All I can say is that this one is in Termaneator armor, though I can’t tell you where it’s from.”

Lady Vigilant stepped forward. “This,” she said, pointing to the Marine’s large, mechanical limb, “is Griffin technology, a Power Klaw to be precise. Though I can’t imagine how he might have come by such a weapon.”

“Does any of this give you any idea where they went?” Caballus asked the pair.

Both shook their heads. “For all we know,” Lady Vigilant said, “they’re still down there. Like I said, we didn’t see any other cargo ships leaving the area, just you. It’s all the more reason to strike now.”

Looking up at the Pony Marine, Caballus could tell he agreed.

The Inquisipony sighed. There was no more delaying it. “Would you allow me to call my team, first?”

Lady Vigilant nodded, and Caballus brought up the Majesty’s communication channel on the vox-console.

“Fyzzix? It’s Caballus. Come in.”

“I-I’m here,” replied his friend’s voice tentatively in the speaker, “and, I… um… I couldn’t help but notice a minute ago, that all the warships… they… well, they brought their weapons systems online. All of them. You know I’m not one to worry, of course, but… uh… the others are a little concerned back there and… What I mean to ask is…”

“Yes, Fyz,” Caballus said slowly, “it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Even though Fyzzix had long since replaced his throat with augmetics, Caballus thought he heard a gulp. “Oh. Okay. I… I’ll let them know. Fyzzix out.”

When the transmission ended, Caballus noticed new activity in the town below on the ship’s tactical display. Ponies were now streaming out of one of a structure near the center of town.

One of the underground shelters, Caballus guessed. This group must have overpowered the Grabbers sent to abduct them, and now they were fleeing for their lives.

It was futile, though. Already Diamond Dogs were recapturing some, and others were moving in to round up the rest. It seemed as though some of the ponies had spotted the ships above, as they were waving their hooves up at the sky, or falling to their knees, silently pleading for help. Apparently, they were willing to take their chances with the very Equestrian forces they had claimed to despise.

“Help” is coming, Caballus thought morosely, though not the kind you’re hoping for.

“There’s only one thing left to do, if you’ll indulge me,” said Lady Vigilant. She levitated a microphone over, and signaled the tech-pony to prepare for broadcast. He opened every frequency, civilian and military, on all levels of encryption and clearance. Even huge loudspeakers on the ship’s exterior came to life, screeching with feedback for a moment. Everyone below would be able to hear her.

She cleared her throat.

“I am Lady Inquisipony Vigilant, of the Ordo Zoonos,” she announced, “and know that I speak with the voice of the Princess.”

Everyone below, pony and Diamond Dog alike, stopped what they were doing and stared up at the airships above, most of them just realizing they were there.

The Lady continued. “By the authority of the Immortal Goddess-Empress of Ponykind, as vested in Her Most Holy Friendquisition, I have the judged the Equestrian municipality of Applemattox beyond the ability of Her servants to save. It is then, with a heavy heart but unwavering resolve, that I condemn it to confectionatus.”

She let the word hang in the dry, desert air for what seemed an eternity. A word known and feared throughout Equestria and beyond. It was the ultimate sanction, the destruction of an entire city, and every living thing in it.

“Loyal ponies rejoice, for your tribulations are at an end. She in Canterlot will welcome you into her embrace with wings spread wide. Enemies of Ponykind despair, for your wickedness shall now meet its due retribution. May Equestrian justice account in all balance. The Princess protects.”

The Lady clicked off her microphone, and the town fell silent.

Then it erupted once more. The zoonos scurried around, trying desperately to escape back into their holes. Most of the townsponies took the voice’s advice and wept, repenting in their final moments. But it was too late for all of them. The end was here.

The party cannons roared. Each shot that rained down smashed several buildings at once, and threw up great gouts of debris and crumbs. The impacts rocked the ground like the hooffalls of a vengeful god, and the noise vibrated the ship like thunder, even at its high altitude. The settlement, little more than piles of wood, stood no chance against the firepower brought to bear on them.

And it was just to soften up the target. After a few salvoes, the torpedo tube on the Merciful Judgment opened and discharged the Cyclonic Fruitcake. It fell to earth like a comet, penetrating deep into the crust. Whatever tunnels weren’t outright obliterated by its impact were collapsed by its final detonation.

It was said by residents of the next nearest town that the sky darkened and the horizon glowed for three days and nights afterward. The ultimate aftermath of the confectionatus was a scorched crater of blackened glass that ringed the original city limits. Nothing inside it had survived.

When the guns were finally silent, the Lady turned to Caballus once more. “A great victory was won by Equestria today, and if not for your help, it would not have been possible. Remember that.”

It wasn’t as comforting as she probably intended.

Caballus said nothing in reply to Lady Vigilant, or to Captain Rein. There was nothing else to say. He simply walked off the bridge, and was soon shuttled back to Her Solar Majesty.

The faces that greeted him back on board were all pale. It took Caballus’s entire recounting of the events aboard the Strike Cruiser for the shock to wear off enough for any of them to speak again.

“You were right,” Fyzzix said weakly, “it was what it looked like. I’ve seen a great many things in my years as an Explorator, but I… I never thought…”

Caballus put a hoof on his friend’s shoulder. “Let’s hope it’s the only time.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Roughshod said bitterly. “She took the easy way out. Didn’t give a flying feather about those prisoners. They deserved better than that.”

While Caballus agreed with Roughshod on that point, he wondered: would he have decided differently, in the Lady’s place? He didn’t have the heart to tell Roughshod that he wasn’t sure he would have. Instead, he moved on to Hairtrigger.

“That… that coulda been anywhere in the subsector,” the pegasus muttered. He was clearly the most affected by the carnage, sitting on his haunches, staring at the floor in front his hooves. “I grew up in a town like that. Folks had roots there ten generations deep. All that work… all gone. Just going about their lives one day, and… and the next…”

Mystic sat down beside him. She didn’t know many words of consolation, so she didn’t say anything, merely showing the Arbitrotter her support by her presence. It seemed to help: Hairtrigger looked up from the floor, and gave her a smile of thanks.

When she met Caballus’s gaze, her eyes reassured him that, despite the others’ reactions, she was relatively fine. He was just thankful that nopony had watched Applemattox burn with a truly personal connection to it. That wouldn’t have been quite so easy to cope with.

“So, what now, boss?” said Roughshod.

Caballus realized that they were all looking at him. Unfortunately, he didn’t have an answer.

“We’ll return Hairtrigger to his Precinct Courthouse on our way back to Hippopolis, but-”

Actually,” said Hairtrigger hopefully, “I was figuring… if it’s all right with you and all, that I’d stay on and help catch these bastards. I reckon you need me more than the frontier needs another Marshall.”

Caballus shook his head. “That’s the problem. The trail’s gone cold. Sniffles got away and I have no idea where he went.” It pained him to say it, but the investigation had nothing to go on.

“So we’re just going to give up?” Roughshod said. “Let them get away with it? There’s got to be something we can use.” He thought for a moment. “Did Tier say where they might have gone?”

“No…” Caballus said, straining to remember his conversation with Tier. The Rogue Trader had been so insistent on securing his own release that he had refused to tell Caballus the Children’s next move. Once he’d explained his own part in the scheme, Tier hadn’t given up much of anything at all.

Except…

“His last request was that I… I should tell his father that he was sorry he wouldn’t return his ship himself,” Caballus said.

“And what the hay does that mean?” asked Hairtrigger.

“It means he was expecting somepony else to do it. Fyzzix, do you have the files on the Ver Kaufer Trade House we pulled from the archives before we left?”

The robe-clad pegasus dug into a crate of requisitioned data-scrolls, and fished one out with his robotic arm. “Right here. What do you want to know?”

“The craft that Sniffles boarded was called the Glücksritter. Is there an airship by that name in their merchant fleet?”

The text on the scroll flashed by faster than an ordinary pony could hope to read. But only a few seconds later, Fyzzix said “there is, registered to the current owner of the Trade House, Meister Ver Kaufer. According to records, its home port is the Trade House headquarters in Pferdian.”

“Then we do have a lead after all.” Caballus dipped his head into the same crate and found a navigational chart. He unrolled it on the floor, and began tracing a route with his hoof, once again in his element. “Pferdian is here, in the Lipizzan sector. With favorable winds and Fyzzix’ lead foot, we should be able to make it in about five days.”

As Fyzzix returned to the cockpit and laid in the new course, Caballus prepared a blank data-scroll and a quill.

“What’s that for,” asked Mystic.

“Clearly we’re outmatched in terms of firepower,” the Inquisipony said with the quill in his teeth, “so I’m arranging for some help to meet us there.”

The other stallions looked over the chart. “Who?” asked Roughshod, “Equestrian Guard?”

“Doesn’t Pferdian raise its own regiments?” Hairtrigger said, “or what about Kriegburg?” He pointed to the mark near their destination representing the ruin of that infamous city.

“Aw, not Kreigburg,” said Roughshod, shaking his head. “The Pony Korps give me the creeps. Them and their gasmasks…” He shuddered.

“Actually, I want somepony I know, somepony I can trust,” Caballus said, rolling up the letter. “That’s why this is headed for Ofillia VII, just over the next border into the Fance sector.”

Roughshod frowned. “Ofillia VII? Isn’t… isn’t there a-”

“Yes,” replied the Inquisipony, “there is.”

“But you’re not talking about-“

“Yes, I am.”

Mystic perked up. “Who are you talking about?”

Caballus glanced at Roughshod, who simply rolled his eyes and walked away to find his cot.

“An old friend,” said the Inquisipony.

---

The sun was had already disappeared behind the smoke plume of Applemattox by the time the Glücksritter finally emerged from the sandstorm rolling across the plains. Almost as soon as the airship rose above the squall, it melted away. In a matter of seconds, there was no trace of the storm at all, save a dusty breeze.

In the captain’s quarters, there was a knock on the door.

The handle on the door sparkled, turned, and the door swung open.

Sniffles stepped inside, ducking through the threshold once again. The room was dark this time, lit only by embers in the fireplace and a few candles on the desk.

“I want to see it.”

Without a word in reply, Sniffles gently took the chest he had been given by Bismutt off his back and placed it on the floor. Magic lifted the lid open.

A tattered, ancient fragment of parchment floated out of the chest, trailing twinkling blue light as it drifted over to the desk. Sniffles held his breath, as though the document might somehow realize how old it really looked and disintegrate, even under his friend’s soft, telekinetic touch.

“Exquisite…”

Sniffles exhaled. “I should hope so, for what it cost us to-“

The parchment burst into incandescent blue flames. In an instant, the paper became ash, the ash became dust, and the dust vanished into nothing.

The Marine could only gape. “But… but all those Children…”

“Oh, they were most assuredly lives well spent. I have exactly what I needed. Now we move on to the next step,” the pony said. “Is there anything else?”

“Um… yes. Brass Bit… he’s still angry that you called him away from his fight with the Inquisipony.”

The other pony chuckled. “He’s always angry. But I’ll make it up to him. Next time, they’ll be much more of a challenge for him.”

“What makes you so sure?” Sniffles asked.

“That there will be a next time? This Inquisipony was clever enough to find us once, I’m confident he’ll do it again. He’s probably already picked up our trail. How do I know they’ll be a better challenge? They’ve got quite a bit of potential.”

“Take the unicorn, for instance. Did you see the fight she put up?”

Sniffles snorted. “But for your intervention, my friend, I would have seen her beheaded.”

The other pony grinned wide in the candlelight. “She’s not as helpless as you think. None of them are. She just needed a little… push, that’s all.”

When Sniffles had left, the pony chuckled again. “That’s right, just a little push.”

Comments

[Imperius]

The new cover is glorious

[boredhooman]

I've read the first few chapters of this story a while ago and stopped around the part where they escaped the illegal pet store that was full of cheat-worms. I just have a question: how exactly are you combining them? Do I need to read the entire story to find this out, or am I just missing something?

At first, being 40k, I thought Equestria was a planet. But then, you described it like it all took place on a single planet, making it more akin to WH Fantasy. Many things didn't make sense, even in the pony universe (peeked at last chapter at the time where the guy was executed by pie to the face), let alone having anything to do with 40k. In fact, it doesn't even seem to have very much to do with WH at all.

Of course, I only read a couple chapters, but still...

[Inquisipony Stallius]

351217

Thanks, I got lucky. Caballus was drawn on a request, and I added the text and icon myself.

351913
I've been told it does have similarities with the Fantasy version, in both in style and scope. Rather than do the sort of crossover where something contrives to put the two universes together, the idea was to use the MLP world as a base, and pretend that it underwent pretty much the same changes that affected humans in 40k. Society, culture, technology, historical events, institutions are brought as close to 40k as I felt was still organic. Obviously, it's a matter of opinion, but I think I got close, and most of the feedback I've gotten back agrees.

I did keep a few things more on the pony side, such as avoiding the space part. I'm basically treating the pony's world as the galaxy, the nation of Equestria as the Imperium, individual regions (towns, cities, etc) as planets, and the sky/space in between as outer space. At least, conceptually. The comparison is most obvious in the most recent chapter, actually, though I won't spoil it. I also avoided quite a bit of overt violence, in keeping with MLP's cartoony nature. If I recall correctly, I haven't even explicitly mentioned blood yet. Having ponies use pies, as at it's their canonical weapon of war, instead of guns, was meant to be a bit humorous for the reader, while it's understood by the characters to be just as serious.

Much of my interpretation of the WH setting comes from the works of Dan Abnett and also parts of the Dark Heresy and Rogue Trader roleplay games, so if you're not familiar with the background that pertains to the Inquisition specifically, the connections might not be immediately obvious. Even so, I hope the first five or so chapters weren't entirely without merit. I've been told it's enjoyable even by a reader completely unfamiliar with the WH property, and I strive to make it a generally decent story, crossover or no. If you do continue reading, even if you don't end up liking it, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Ave Imperatrix Celestialis.

[Imperius]

Roughshod and Hairtrigger discussing ammunition was pretty brilliant. Fragmenting nut clusters was what got me.

[boredhooman]

352445
Thanks for explaining. And yes, the story is good but just not my cup of tea. For the type of story it is, it's great.

[SCaitan]

Ah, so you played Dawn Of War II Retribution? You sir just took the most epic introduction to an exterminatus and made me choke on my laughter. 'Confectionatus'!! I'll never be able to view that cutscene without thinking of the Cyclonic Fruitcake...

About the setting, I think its great that you didnt involve space travel (yet) and putting the subsectors as countries was a good call. This way you maintained both an MLP and W40k atmosphere.

And I immidiatetly recognized Hairtrigger...I assume you make a reference to the Arbites that joins Eisenhorn in Dan Abnett's trilogy? I'm not a codex reader myself (I dont play the tabletop), but I own quite a collection of novels and, as said, played the games.

Keep up the story!

[The_Master]

Still loving it, my favorite so far has to be the confectionautus part. As for the cyclonic fruitcake, all I have to say is,

cdn.onestoptshirtshop.com/wp-content/uploads/FFFFFF-thumb-275x274-design-827.png

[BenRG]

Just a reminder that the Imperium's concept of 'saving' an imperilled location is somewhat different from that of we of older, less ideological times.

I wonder if Caballus will feel guilty? The plan seems to have been to have the ground forces to physically repel the Diamond Dog invasion but his report convinced his superiors that the entire sub-sector was beyond saving and to use exterminatus instead. In a very real sense, he is personally responsible for these events, although not with foreknowledge.

In the end, I doubt his guilt will last for long. To a zealot like him, this is just the price of maintaining the security and ideological purity of Equestria.