• Member Since 25th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

FloydienSlip


All mixed up

T

Writer's Note: This story is not very good. It was my first foray into actual fiction. Don't read this.


Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. The closest of friends. The living embodiments of the Elements of Harmony. Together they defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, and the changelings. They discovered the magic of friendship.

Recently, they have been practically isolated from one another. Each one of the Mane Six reflects on the personality and mindset of another. Will they become closer once more? And what exactly is Twilight's plan?

Lyrics are copyright Pink Floyd. Constructive criticism and feedback are humbly requested, as this is my first MLP fic.

Thanks are in order to my wonderful pre-readers: Regidar (Ch. 1), zaponator, and LonelyBrony (Ch. 4-6).

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 74 )

Good first chapter. :twilightsmile:
Rarity wasn't exactly generous, but I guess that's the point.
I look forward to seeing where this goes, and I hope we find out what exactly happened to spike.

2031933 That is the point. The chapter titles are contradictory.

Oh, I also forgot obligatory chapter music.

@zaponator: Hopefully this chapter answered some questions.

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lthph6HaFU1qdmzwao1_500.jpg

I read this chapter with that song playing in the background the whole time. It was fun. :twilightsmile:
A good chapter too; all those references were delicious. :pinkiehappy:

Thanks! I'm not sure if all of those references were intentional, but I'm glad you enjoyed the song and chapter!

"The grass was greener / The light was brighter / With friends surrounded / The nights of wonder..."

This is looking to be a fantastic story. I didn't find any errors, although admittedly I didn't look that hard. I loved how you have pieces of the lyrics from "High Hopes" at the beginning and ends of the chapters. And, I'll admit, I got chills listening to "Coming Back To Life." I'm assuming you chose to link the song in the story to foreshadow the Mane Six getting back together?

I'll admit, the main reason I read this was because "The Division Bell" has always been one of my favorite albums, and you're beginning to do it justice with this story. The feelings evoked, especially knowing the song it's based off of, are quite sad, but I suppose that was the point. I also liked the references to "Money" and "Breathe" in the previous chapter.

This may yet become one of my favorite fanfictions, as it combines two of my favorite things ever, and does it tastefully. Congratulations, you've earned yourself a new fan. :yay:

2104832 Thank you for kind appraisal and voice of approval. And yes, it is supposed to be sad (hence the single tag), but hopefully you'll like the next chapter.

Also, I'm glad you liked the chapter music, as I struggled to find the best song for this chapter.

2104935 Thank you for writing it! The song "High Hopes" is very bittersweet, so I'm not necessarily expecting a super happy feel-good ending.

"Coming Back To Life" fit pretty well, I thought. Don't hesitate to let me know if you want help on a song suggestion, since you struggled with this one. It's the least I could do.

I think I have an idea of what might've happened. :pinkiesad2:
'twas a good chapter. Keep it up!
Also, it looks like you forgot to close the italics tag when you came out of the flashback. :twilightsmile:

Wow this story just gets sadder and sadder....I can't wait until we get our Crazy Diamond....

OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED

Also, as long as everypony ends up happy in some way, I'm good with this...

2117581 I can neither confirm nor deny this, partially because I'm not entirely sure where I'm going yet.

2118375 Well, either way, you have my attention.

I can't wait until our "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" chapter....

2118437 I'm not entirely sure what you mean...

2118663 Well, so far you've used the songs "Money", "Coming Back to Life" (btw the video for that got taken down:twilightangry2:) and "The Gunner's Dream".

I'm hoping that somewhere we get a chapter that uses the song "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" or something...

Ah, the chapter music (MONEY GOT TAKEN DOWN!? GJDKJTHJSNSJGNJGTH).

Thanks for the fave!

Great chapter, Mr. FloydienSlip.
But Good God, THE FEELS. Especially when Pinkie quoted "One Slip;" you can really just feel her pain. :applecry:

...Now I have that song stuck in my head... there'll be no sleep in here tonight...

Keep it up, my good man. I'd give the story another thumbs up if I could. :eeyup:

Special thanks to my wonderful pre-readers, zaponator and LonelyBrony.

2155002
:twilightsmile:
'twas my pleasure.

I quite like this chapter.
The whole 'abusive parents' thing fits Fluttershy surprisingly well.
It's a reasonable explanation for pretty much every aspect of her personality, from her extreme shyness and fear to the one or two times that she really has snapped.
(the Gala and the sleeping dragon come to mind)
It all fits perfectly. :fluttershysad:

On another, more lighthearted note. That goose joke made me chuckle. :rainbowlaugh:

Interesting that this chapter didn't have any reference to the mysterious 'plan' that's been seen in all the others.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I think I have found a theme here, The pony narrating is the pony the next chapter is based on.:pinkiehappy:

2155188 EDIT: I read the phrasing incorrectly. :twilightsheepish: Kudos to you for figuring that out! I was wondering who would notice that...

2155213 Thanks, It took me 1 chapter to figure that out I can't believe no one figured it out either!:pinkiehappy:

Well, once I saw the theme song for this chapter I knew I was in for a sad tale.

Poor Flutters.

God I hope everything ends well.

Wait...are you shipping AJ and RD here?

I cannot say no to my favorite song from my favorite band.

OH MY GOD WHAT ARE IN THOSE LETTERS!

If it's a suicide pact I'm out of here.

BTW damn good choice for the theme song and great end quote. High Hopes is an awesome song.

The mystery deepens!
Whatever's in those letters, it's an invitation to something permanent.
Hmm... The suicide pact seems more and more likely. :applecry:

"Well, when you put it that way... Ah suppose it's better than bein' stranded alone on some island in the middle a' nowhere."

:heart::heart::heart:

2240870

OH MY GOD WHAT ARE IN THOSE LETTERS!
If it's a suicide pact I'm out of here.

Wouldn't you like to know? :trollestia:

2242095 Refer to the above comment. And of course I included that in there. How could I not?

Applejack's parent's tried a revolution?

I MUST KNOW MORE

2304849 Hmm... I could potentially work with that...

2309934 What do you think? Read the last line again (not the lyrics)

DID THEY JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF?!:flutterrage::flutterrage::rainbowderp::rainbowderp::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

You'd best be trolling.:ajbemused:

2310038 They jumped into another dimension?

Also, I just realized that all the chapters contain verses from High Hopes....HELL YEAH

huh. Don't know how I managed to miss this chapter. Anyways, I found this one confusing a bit. And how long ago was that attempted revolution? I don't see many guillotines in modern-day Equestria.
Also, I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't feel that this chapter was as good as the first four, which are some of my favorite chapters of any story here. It may just be, who knows...

This... this is the end? I thought a reunion party was being planned... And when did Celestia find out about the gathering of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony? I will admit, I wasn't quite expecting this, and the ending, really this entire chapter, left me confused. :rainbowhuh: I know the song "Signs of Life" ties in somehow, with the voices in the song being quoted in the story, but I just don't see the common thread that ties all the chapters together. Other than the obvious, that being the Mane Six getting back together after a period of separation.

Though I did like the Discord reference, that was a nice nod to recent happenings in the show itself.

And there was one small error, if you care to correct it:

A familiar orange mare and and cerulean pegasus

I believe you accidentally put two "and's" there.

2310289 Allow me to clarify some things:

I thought a reunion party was being planned... And when did Celestia find out about the gathering of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?

Funny... I don't remember mentioning a "reunion party." Twilight's actions in the first chapter implies that she tells Celestia.

the ending, really this entire chapter, left me confused.

Good, that means I'm doing my job right.

I know the song "Signs of Life" ties in somehow, with the voices in the song being quoted in the story, but I just don't see the common thread that ties all the chapters together.

"Signs of Life" is actually a very fitting song for the end, and the last line is important, too. The common thread was that of sadness and years gone by, only to reunite and venture off together. Technically, I could have made this a one-shot, and I almost did, but I wanted the readers to see every side of the Mane Six's story.

I'm glad you liked the Discord reference, but it was actually a reference to something else. :trollestia:

And thanks for the catch. Fixed.

2310341 Okay, I must've misunderstood something near the beginning, my mistake.
...and I'm supposed to be confused? Is there going to be a sequel?

Yeah, I understand how the song fits. I also understand that the entire story is based of off "High Hopes." So it's all just a reunification of the Mane Six to begin adventuring again? That's what I already said, I presume the story goes no deeper than that?

...and I'm supposed to be confused? Is there going to be a sequel?

:trollestia:

That's what I already said, I presume the story goes no deeper than that?

:trollestia:

2310417 WHY CAN'T I GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER :flutterrage:
...
...
...
...I just want to enjoy the story... :fluttercry:

2310429 Aw, don't feel sad. :raritywink: No one gets it yet, but you will in time.

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