Epilogue - Same Old, Same Old?
“So once we find the Tan of angle A, we can use the inverse Tan function to find the angle’s value,” Cheerilee explained as she worked through an example on her board. “Any questions?”
At once, it seemed that every student in the class had raised their hooves. Cheerilee frowned at the sight. Yesterday, she had asked all of her students in the class to do some reading on the next topic, trigonometry, that night, and when she asked this morning if everypony had done that and understood it, they had all just nodded and mumbled that they had.
Now, she was having her doubts. She had her doubts before, but now she was certain: nopony ever did any of the prep work that she set out for them. She sighed and looked up at the clock. It was just five minutes until the final bell rang, so there wouldn’t be enough time to go over it again. Instead, she simply handed out some worksheets for them to complete over the weekend, along with some instruction sheets that explained exactly what she had just gone through on the board.
“Remember, anypony who doesn’t do the homework I’ve set out for them will have to do it on Monday, after school.” That little threat was enough to motivate the majority of the students. The rest, she would just have to hope would decide not to be lazy. The bell rang, and the students began to pack their books into their bags. “Well then, I’ll see you all on Monday. Enjoy your weekend, my little ponies!”
The students filed out quickly, all too eager to get out of the school building at the end of a long week. Cheerilee waited until the final student had left, and then walked over to her desk to begin revising her lesson plan for Monday, since it was apparent that her students didn’t understand a thing that she taught them today.
“What was that?! You wanna say that to my face?!”
Cheerilee sighed and stopped her approach, instead turning towards the open window and moving towards it. “They’re at it again, aren’t they?” she asked herself in a flat tone, peering outside the window to see five little fillies outside.
“I was simply stating the obvious. A ruffian like you wouldn’t know the first thing about jewellery.”
“Oh yeah?!” Scootaloo stomped a hoof on the ground and glared at Diamond Tiara, her wings flaring. “I’ll show you! I’ll come back on Monday with some totally awesome Cutie Mark that puts yours to shame!”
Diamond Tiara laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure,” she said sarcastically. “And then I’ll just wash it off with a bucket of water, blank flank.”
Scootaloo growled angrily at the condescending filly, with Apple Bloom joining her by her side.
“Hey,” Silver Spoon said, interrupting the fight. “Can you guys make this quick? I have to be somewhere soon, and you said you’d show me your new necklace today,” she said to Diamond Tiara, who was still revelling in the looks of rage she had induced in her two arch-enemies.
Diamond Tiara looked at Silver Spoon, and then at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, and then sighed. “Fine,” she said in a bored tone, before walking towards the two crusaders. “… Blank flanks.”
“Plot head,” Scootaloo said.
“Spoiled brat,” Apple Bloom added.
The three fillies, now done with their abusive exchanges for the day, silently agreed to leave it at that, and Diamond Tiara began walking away, stopping at the school gates to wait for Silver Spoon.
Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle giggled together. At first, they were worried when Diamond Tiara began antagonizing Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, but they soon realised that the three had reached some sort of agreement. They still didn’t like each other, so they still fought outside of school hours, but their fights were kept purely verbal, with the occasional prank here and there.
Now they just had to make sure their friends didn’t go too far with their pranks, and all was pretty much well with the five of them.
“So… You’re coming by tomorrow, right?” Sweetie Belle asked Silver Spoon timidly. Silver Spoon nodded, and Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “Great!” She looked past Silver Spoon and over at Diamond Tiara. “You’re invited too! If you want to come, that is…”
Diamond Tiara pretended to be uninterested as she ran a file again her hoof. “If Silver’s going, I might check it out for a bit,” she said.
Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle stared at each other for a bit, before turning to face Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, who were both grinning at the two fillies. “Hey-” Silver Spoon began, but was cut off by Apple Bloom.
“We get it,” she said, grabbing Scootaloo’s foreleg with her hoof. “C’mon, Scootaloo. Let’s give ‘em a bit of privacy.”
Scootaloo complied, following Apple Bloom towards the school gates. “Try to keep it quick this time,” she said, laughing as the two turned red from embarrassment.
Once their friends were out of the picture, Sweetie Belle closed her eyes and puckered her lips expectantly. Silver Spoon didn’t let her fillyfriend down, and leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on her lips. A gentle kiss which soon took off in intensity, and caused Silver Spoon to back away suddenly when she felt Sweetie Belle’s mouth opening up, and the other filly’s tongue brushing against her still-closed lips.
Silver Spoon, looking completely flustered, quickly wiped a hoof against her lips, staring at Sweetie Belle in astonishment. “S-Sweetie Belle!”
Sweetie Belle merely giggled, and then took a step towards Silver Spoon, sending her a mischievous grin. “Yes?” she asked in an innocent tone.
Silver Spoon sighed and turned away. “What am I going to do with you?” she asked quietly.
“Well, there’s that new carnival that just came to town,” Sweetie Belle suggested, “And Bon Bon’s Sweets is having a sale this weekend…” She noticed Silver Spoon’s bemused grin, and realised that the question was rhetorical. “Oh… Eheheh, sorry…”
Silver Spoon laughed, and reached over to plant one more kiss on Sweetie Belle’s cheek. She pulled back and waved to the filly. “See you tomorrow.”
“See ya, Spoony,” she said, waving goodbye to Silver Spoon, who cringed at the nickname that Sweetie Belle had picked out for her.
Silver Spoon wiped the sweat from her brow, and stopped for a moment to check her work. “… Something’s not right here…”
“Yo!” Silver Chain said as he entered his workshop, receiving a polite “hello” from Silver Spoon. “How’re things goin’?”
“… Not too well,” Silver Spoon admitted with a frown on her face. Silver Chain walked over to see what the problem was.
“I think you’re rushing it a bit,” he said, picking up the object that Silver Spoon was working on and examining it. “What is it?… A bell?”
Silver Spoon nodded. “It’s for a… Friend of mine,” she said, blushing as the image of Sweetie Belle entered her mind.
Silver Chain noticed the blush, and gave her a sly grin. “I see… Well, it seems you’re tryin’ too hard to make this perfect. Just slow down, ‘n’ take it easy. Just like I showed ya.” Silver Spoon nodded, and Silver Chain gave her back the bell that she was working on. “Anyway, I’m glad you finally took me up on my offer. No other ponies in this town’re interested in silversmithing, an’ I thought I was gonna die without takin’ on an apprentice.”
Silver Spoon raised her hammer, and brought it down hard on her project. “Well, you’ll have to thank my friend for that. She convinced me to follow my passion, not my parents’ hoofsteps.”
“Whoa, easy there!” Silver Chain said as he grabbed the hammer from Silver Spoon’s hoof. “Like I said, you’re tryin’ too hard. Look, why don’t ya go take a break? Get some fresh air, an’ clear yer mind.”
Silver Spoon was about to protest, but the sweat running down her head, and thought of going outside to take a nice, refreshing drink in the cool air was too much for her to ignore. “Okay,” she said, getting up and leaving the workshop.
Silver Chain looked down at the bell that Silver Spoon was working on. Whilst an untrained eye would think it was an amazing piece of work, Silver Chain could already identify numerous points that showed the filly’s amateurish nature. “She has a ways to go,” he said to himself with a grin. “But she’s a great pupil, so she should be fine.”
The following day, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara arrived at Sweetie Belle’s house early in the afternoon, each of them carrying a box covered in wrapping paper on their backs. They were greeted by Sweetie Belle’s parents, who had already gotten to know Silver Spoon very well over the past week.
They set their presents with the others on a nearby table, and walked over to a table with a punch bowl, ignoring the looks from many of the foals being sent their way.
“Why are they looking at us like that?” Diamond Tiara asked in a disgruntled tone.
“Because we don’t exactly have a reputation of getting along with the crusaders?” Silver Spoon answered.
“Oh, right.” Diamond Tiara shot a glare around the room, causing most of the foals to flee. Once they reached the punch bowl, the two rich fillies helped themselves to some of the refreshing beverage, only to interrupted by the sudden appearance of a white Unicorn mare with a purple mane.
“You must be Silver Spoon,” the mare, whom the fillies identified as Rarity, said. “It’s so nice to meet you. Sweetie Belle has been talking about you a lot lately, and I just wanted to thank you for being such good friends with my sister.”
Silver Spoon blushed and told her that it was nothing, whereas Diamond Tiara giggled and gave her friend a quick nudge. “Yeah… Very good friends.”
“S-Shut up!” Silver Spoon whispered, sending a quick glare at Diamond Tiara. Rarity looked confused by the little exchange, but decided not to pursue it any further.
“Oh, it looks like Sweetie Belle would like to talk to you,” Rarity said, noticing Sweetie Belle standing at a distance, looking timidly in their direction. “I’ll just leave you three alone.”
As Rarity walked off, Diamond Tiara finished her drink and set the cup down. “I’ll just leave you two alone,” she said, mimicking Rarity’s tone from a moment ago, but still grinning at her friend as she began to walk away.
Silver Spoon was about to respond, but when she saw Sweetie Belle approaching her, she stayed silent.
“Hi, Spoony,” Sweetie Belle said once she stopped in front of Silver Spoon. “Glad you made it.”
“O-Of course,” Silver Spoon said, admiring Sweetie Belle’s appearance. The filly was wearing a lovely white dress, with a pink and purple trim, similar to her mane, which Silver Spoon assumed had been made by her sister. She also noticed that Sweetie Belle was wearing that broach that she had given her, bringing a smile to the grey filly’s face.
“Hey,” Sweetie Belle whispered, “Can we… Go talk in my room?”
Silver Spoon’s eyes widened, and she took a few steps back. “Y-Y-Y-Y-Your room?!”
Sweetie Belle nodded, a blush on her face. She leaned forward so that she could whisper again. “It’s kind of hard to talk like this,” she said as she motioned to her side. Silver Spoon looked around the room to find many pairs of eyes rested on them, some with interest, some with anticipation… All with curiosity. “Everypony’s watching us.”
Silver Spoon hesitantly nodded, and Sweetie Belle led the way towards her room.
“Hey there, blank flanks,” Diamond Tiara said as she approached Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. The two fillies groaned, and turned around to see the pink filly on her own. They already knew why; they were part of the crowd that was watching Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle moments ago. “This party is like, so lame. I don’t know why so many ponies decided to show up.”
“Well then, maybe ya should just go,” Apple Bloom said, glaring at Diamond Tiara, who simply harrumphed in response.
“I’m waiting for Silver Spoon,” she said in a bored tone. “I was hoping I could kill some time here, but, as expected, nopony here is worth talking to.”
“Then why’re ya talking to us?” Scootaloo asked.
“I was just curious as to whether you got your Cutie Marks yet. Though, as expected, you haven’t.”
The two crusaders hardened their glares towards Diamond Tiara, and everypony around them began to back away. This is what they were all expecting from the moment the two rich fillies entered Sweetie Belle’s house. Already, bets were being made on who was going to win the inevitable fight.
“Maybe our special talents are kickin’ yer flank,” Apple Bloom suggested with a grin. Diamond Tiara scoffed, and told her that there was no way a blank flank could ever beat her at anything. “That so?” Apple Bloom nodded towards Scootaloo, who nodded back with the same grin on her face.
“Care to put your mouth where your mouth is?” Scootaloo asked as she pointed towards a game of ‘pin the tail on the pony’ set up at the other end of the room, which was currently not being used. “Unless you’re chicken?”
“What was that?!” Diamond Tiara snapped, prompting the two fillies to make a series of chicken imitations at the filly. “How dare a couple of cry-babies like you talk down on me like that?!”
“Cry-babies?!” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yes, cry-babies!”
Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara butted heads together, eliciting a cheer from the crowd, who thought that the match was about to start. However, rather than exchanging kicks, Diamond Tiara walked past Apple Bloom, and towards the game at the other end of the room. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo followed shortly afterwards.
“Fine then! I’ll take you on, and naturally, I’ll beat you so hard that you’ll be begging for my forgiveness. Which I won’t give,” she added coolly.
“You’re on!” Scootaloo said as she donned the blindfold, and picked up the tail. A thought crossed her mind, and she removed the blindfold shortly afterwards. “How do we compete with this game?”
Diamond Tiara smacked a hoof to her face, and was soon back to throwing verbal insults at the orange Pegasus, who returned them just as eagerly.
Apple Bloom, however, was stopped by a hoof on her shoulder before she could reach the two arguing fillies. She turned around to see Rarity behind her.
“Apple Bloom, dear, have you seen Sweetie Belle around? I wanted to talk to her about something, but I can’t seem to find her.”
“She’s in her room,” she said without thinking, and quickly placed her hooves to her mouth as soon as realised what she had done.
“She is?” Rarity asked, a look of concern on her face. “How very strange… Perhaps I should go and make sure she’s alright.”
Rarity began to leave, and Apple Bloom quickly ran in front of her to make her stop. “No, wait! You can’t!”
Rarity raised an eyebrow at the little filly, looking down at her questioningly. “And why not?” she asked. Apple Bloom motioned for Rarity to kneel down, and when she did, the farm filly whispered into Rarity’s ear. Rarity’s eyes widened at what she was being told, and she suddenly bolted up to her hooves. “W-What?! Sweetie Belle is-”
Apple Bloom shushed her quickly, and looked around to see the many curious eyes looking upon them. She nodded to Rarity, who simply couldn’t believe what she was being told.
“S-Sweetie Belle…” Rarity swooned on the spot, and rose to her hind legs, stumbling about for a bit before falling backwards. Apple Bloom quickly pulled a couch from… Somewhere… And placed it in Rarity’s path, making sure she collapsed onto it, instead of onto the floor.
Silver Spoon walked into Sweetie Belle’s room, which was as neat and tidy as it always was, save for a few sheets of paper and crayons lying in the middle of the room, and turned around when she heard Sweetie Belle close the door.
Sweetie Belle approached Silver Spoon, and nuzzled her cheek lovingly, before locking lips with the other filly. The two held the kiss for a bit, before separating and gazing deeply into each other’s eyes.
Sweetie Belle shifted uncomfortably where she was standing, and struggled to get the words that she wanted out of her mouth. “Um… So, I was thinking… My parents are busy tonight, so they’re taking me out to eat tomorrow, instead. And, I was wondering, if you don’t have any plans… Would you like to come along?”
Silver Spoon felt her heart fluttering at the filly’s invitation. ‘Would this be our first date? I think it would… I’d be going on a date with Sweetie Belle, for the first ever time! How could I possibly say no?’
Silver Spoon cleared her throat, and tried to act cool and composed as she gave Sweetie Belle her answer. “Y-Yes!” she blurted out, her face completely red and her legs shaking beneath her. She swallowed, closed her eyes, and told herself to calm down. “I-I’d love to, Sweetie Belle…”
Sweetie Belle hugged Silver Spoon tightly, and felt the hug being returned. “Yay! This is gonna be so great!” she said excitedly, her horn sparking a little bit as she did so, causing her to back away and blush intensely. “S-Sorry! I-It does that from time-to=time! Twilight said it’s just a phase, but…”
Silver Spoon giggled at the cute filly’s reaction, although since Sweetie Belle thought she was giggling at her herself, the Unicorn filly glared and told her to stop.
“S-Sorry,” Silver Spoon said, her laughter slowly dying down. When it finally stopped, she reached into her saddlebag, and pulled something out. “Um, here… I made something for you.”
Sweetie Belle’s anger from moments ago was gone, and was quickly replaced by a look of excitement. “You did? But, wait… I thought you left your present with the others…”
Silver Spoon shook her head. “This isn’t for your birthday. It’s just something I wanted to make for you.” Sweetie Belle let out a quiet “awww” at that, and watched as Silver Spoon opened up a small cardboard box and pulled something out. “It… Didn’t turn out so well, but I hope you like it…”
Sweetie Belle took the item into her hooves and examined it. “It’s… A bell?” she asked, shaking it and hearing it jingle. “A silver bell!” she exclaimed, looking up at Silver Spoon with a smile on her face. “It’s great! Did you make it yourself?”
Silver Spoon blushed, and kicked the floor with a hoof. “My Master helped me out a bit…”
“‘Master?’” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Silver Chain. The silversmith I told you about before.”
“Oh!”
“Yeah. I’m his apprentice now…”
“You are? Cool!” Sweetie Belle said. “If you can make neat stuff like this now, I’d love to see what you can do in the future!”
“You really like it?” Silver Spoon asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded, and moved closer to Silver Spoon. “I do, because it’s something you gave me,” she said, bringing a blush to both of their faces. ‘Oh man! That’s just so-’
The two fillies stared at each other in complete silence for about half-a-minute, each one avoiding eye contact with the other most of the time, but stealing a quick glance every now and then. Finally, Silver Spoon spoke up. “M-Maybe we should go back to the party.”
“Mhm,” Sweetie Belle responded, placing her new gift down on her dresser, and heading for her door. As she opened it, she felt Silver Spoon’s hoof connecting with it, and leaned over onto the grey filly.
“You ready?” Silver Spoon asked.
“Ready,” Sweetie Belle answered as the two stepped outside, hooves locked together, and returned to the party.
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Loved it from beginning to end. Excellent job and loved the progression. DT and the CMC are still enemies but that is to be expected. Any possibility of a sequel with DT and Alula?
Fantastic from beginning to end.
This need a sequel
Best CMC story I've read. Kudos to Yuki.
1835617>>1835411
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSIsMjAxMi8xMS8yMy8xNV8xM18yNV85MzVfMTYwNjU5X19VTk9QVF9fBjoGRVQ/160659__safe_image-macro_gilda_reaction-image_griffon-the-brush-off.PNG
Sequel
Nao
Pwease?
Adorable
Yes, yes! Sequel please?!
THIS. STORY. WAS.
BOSS
bing.com/images/search?q=Like+a+boss+Trixie&FORM=HDRSC2#view=detail&id=74225F95C535F776F7B9CCEBF3125BF744BFB8A6&selectedIndex=0
Good story, although you did kind of make Sweetie Belle a bit of a damsel in distress a bit too much.
1872607
Well, she clearly takes after her sister
1872671
Rarity is a drama queen but shes also very capable of taking care of things. I mean we see her engage in hoof to hoof combat a few times, shes the first pony to attack the manticore in episode 2 and when shes taken by the diamond dogs she solves the situation without any outside help at all, just by being clever.
So dang cute I can see them now.
No really I can their in my backyard.
I enjoyed this.
I dont think I can upvote any harder
I really enjoyed reading this.
yukito I really love your work keep it up amd a sequel would be nice if its not too much to ask.
1904675
Didn't actually notice that Cheerilee's line could be seen as a Doctor Who reference. Certainly wasn't intentional. It's just the kind of thing I would imagine a pissed off teacher saying, especially in the presence of her students.
Anywhom, thanks for pointing out all these lil' errors. I'll see if I can find some time soon ta go over and fix 'em all
Now that. Was fucking adorable. Judas fucking Priest that was good. I love this ship. Also an awesome job on a realistic approach to DT.
HNNNGGGGGG. *dies*
There's something about SilverBelle that is so freaking adorable!
Awesome read all the way through, freaking fantastic stuff.
I'll you excuse me, I think I have to get a refill for my diabetes medication now...
1910066
Um, I think you may be thinking of Your Antagonist's story, where she gave the letter to Dinky. This isn't connected to that in any way, just inspired by it.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
th08.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/049/d/4/mlp__pinkie_pie_happy_by_ookami_95-d4q6e9r.png
You know what this totally awesome story needs?
More attention.
Lots more.
Now.
Meanwhile, you did an excellent job in creating a quickly developing romance that felt neither forced nor rushed. Among highly emotional foals. Well done, I say.
Very cute and enjoyable story. Ah, sweet and innocent first love... Other than occasional typo or missing capitalization of character name, I cannot really criticize anything. Unless you consider "MOAR!!!11" a form of criticism.
This was a nice story. I enjoyed how cute and happy it came out. I thought the interaction on the paintball filed to be funny and the progress between Diamond Tiara and how she managed to get along with them, in her own way.
clip2net.com/clip/m73955/thumb640/1340638990-another_smaller-371kb.png
But seriously, this is a really cute and great story, I'd love to see a fic placed in the future with the both of them.
But either way, nice job
My daaaawwwww reserves have been filled to capacity.
Excellent story. Well done.
The ocean is a vast and mysterious creature. Perhaps I shall never understand why people spend so much time out here, but I suppose I can enjoy its serenity. This story was a tropical drink with all the features. It had the paper umbrella, the straw, the ice cubes, the lemon wedge, the condensation, and everything else I can think of that makes it great to enjoy poolside. The concept of the camping trip was a nice setup, and I feel that you used it to your advantage even when the focus was on the romance. Several of the events that took place in the camp were as engaging as I was hoping they would be; although the fact that the fillies coming so close to death was so easily forgotten did make me question Cheerilee's qualifications as a caregiver.
As a reader firmly planted on dry land, let me just say that while the Sweetie-Silver ship doesn't interest me, I will say it was well-implemented here. As I said, you kept almost total focus on it, which I believe is important with a story such as this. I was debating if the romance was happening too quickly while reading through, but since signs of it first showed up in the first chapter, I can say that after that first big jump was made, the rest felt like a perfectly natural series of skips and hops. By my count, the "baka" meter only got up to two, but I saw the understated tsundere tendencies loud and clear. I personally think making the Diamond-Alula side romance ambiguous was a nice decision since it prevented it from stealing focus away from the main one.
Then there's the rest of the main cast: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Diamond Tiara. Diamond was great, as expected, and I can't give you enough commendation for your portrayal of the CMC-DT/SS rivalry. Having the two sides placed on the same branch of the morality tree was such a refreshing blast of air that made this beverage so much more pleasant to enjoy. Now, full disclosure, by the time I reached Chapter 4, I could no longer stand Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. It wasn't the fact that they kept insistently trying to get SS + SB together. It was their motivation behind it. It was one thing that they had their hidden motive to achieve their Cutie Marks by pairing them up. It was another thing the way they disregarded their privacy and had to watch everything unfold, getting an almost disturbing sense of enjoyment out of it all. However, what really broke the vase in the hallway was how self-righteous they were about it all. Not once did they ever think they were in the wrong or even feel guilty about what they were doing. No remorse. No sympathy. The one line Apple Bloom delivered to Cheerilee after she caught them by the river:
That line was infuriating, but it just didn't stop there. How do they follow up successfully getting them together? Teasing. They teased them for something they essentially brought about. If your intent was to make DT and SS appear to be believably nicer than AB and Scootaloo, then let me commend you on that as well. You succeeded and then some.
In a similar vein, there was something that I didn't understand that I saw occur between chapters 3 and 4. At the end of Chapter 3, AB and Scootaloo whispered their plan, their backup plan, and their backup backup plan to DT. However, in chapter 4, Diamond knows nothing about the first two plans and actually interferes with them. I'm guessing they must not have explained them too well.
This was a nice take on this concept. I believe this story is very well-suited to its target audience, and it would seem that it's getting the credit that it rightfully deserves. Using hoofball as vaguely as you did was a clever little throw-in. It could be handball, football, or even American football. We'll never know. They just used a "ball". Also, it seems to me that Sweetie Belle's the only one in this story who has a bladder. Fun trivia fact, that. Anyway, hope you get something from all this. Thank you for your time.
1973267
Regarding AB and Scootaloo spying on Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle's special moment together, and teasing them afterwards, the thing you have to remember is that they are kids. And kids are often pains in the flank. Often not intentionally, it's just what they do. They probably don't see anything wrong with watching a romantic development unfold before their eyes. They probably think it's just like seeing it in a movie, only more special because it's their friend, and it's happening in real life. There's also the possibility that they don't fully trust SS yet, and want to be there in case she turns SB down or makes her cry or something.
And then teasing other kids that are a couple is, again, something that kids just do. Even if they helped push them along, they still tease them about it every now and then, not to be mean, but just as a bit of friendly ribbing.
Well, that's how I chose to view it anyway. You can view it however you want, but again, they are just kids, so you've gotta expect quite a bit of immaturity from them. Which is something a lot of people seem to forget when discussing the Crusaders or DT/SS.
Oh, also, I wasn't trying to make either side seem nicer. I'm actually neutral in the whole CMC vs. DT/SS conflict.
1974916
I expected immaturity from them. They just showed a bit more than I was expecting.
Generally, I enjoyed the story as a whole. The pairing is cute, the characters are stable and the jokes and fun moments are spot on.
The only critique I have is the wolf encounter. Since it has been established that the only "wild" animals live in the Everfree Forest. But it had a great pay off and I can overlook such absolute minor hick ups when the story is as well written and entertaining as it is.
I especially liked how "kiddy" they behaved. Its tough to write kids well and you certainly did.
A very nice story, that I very much enjoyed.
PS: So... Sweetie calls her Spoony?
Sorry, couldn't resist!
Too much DAWWW.
I feel like I just ate an entire cake!
What a great way for me to start off my day.
This quote:
was used in my wallpaper here: Diamond in the Rough.
Great story, but leaves much to be desired.
Unrelated fact: You all have pony and pony memes as prof pics and I'm just chilling with Admiral Nimitz.
You should write a sequel!
Great job! I can haz sequel nao plz?
cute fic and definitely a thumbs up but the shipping felt uncomfortable forced at times. They are still only children and the idea that Sweetie is trying to french kiss her was a bit creepy. I can see small chaste kisses but not long make out sessions.
That was really well-written. Diving into the backgrounds of all of the ponies featured was really awesome and the ending was great. :)
2456655
I approve ^^
Wait, one question. What were you implying that Rarity would say? Sweetie Belle's a...! Is she surprised that she's a fillyfooler or that that she's in a relationship? This is a cute story. I demand a sequel.
Dear Yukito,
I don't mean to downplay your inspirations, but if I were to offer compliments, I would say your fanfic is better than Your Antagonists' story. I haven't gotten that far in The Serenade of Silver Belles, so I can't fully analyze and compare, but so far, this is winning! ;)
Wait whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
A lespony romance CMC fanfic with that kind of like/dislike ratio? I was expecting like 10-20 more dislikes on this.
Maybe the world is becoming a better place..
this means I just need to kill more of them to make it even better..Reading this will become a necessity. But unfortunately I'm too fag to do it right now. :S
I will be back though.
Wow. Here I have read a lot of romancing FFs, but this is one of only a handful to really take its time in having the characters realize, and then act upon their feelings.
"Me like very much."
Whomever downvoted this needs to be beaten with a heart shaped rock.
3412190
What, you mean like the Crystal Heart? I don't think Cadance will care much for a bloodstain on the symbol of love (or whatever it is) in the heart of her kingdom.
3412236
No no, I was referring to the mythical heart stone mounted on a stick. Once a individual is bashed by it, they are forced to realize that their heart too is made of stone......or they get a concussion. I'm just making crap up at this point.
Point is, story=DAWWWWWW
Neighsayer=nerrrrrr
Me=need more coffee
Super cute story, loved it. <3
Another beautiful story that I find lost in the archives. Was a nice surprise when I found that Yukito wrote it though.
BUENO!
I loved everything about this fic.
Well, I'm honestly sad to see it end, but what can I say? Other than some mistakes here and there (even when you forgot to insert about two words and it made the sentence very awkward) and a few scenes that seemed a bit rushed or random, it was truly a masterpiece. I WAS slightly disappointed that Diamond Tiara went right back to calling the Crusaders 'blank flanks' once they got home. I mean, I can understand the concept of what was said about them still being rivals, but a bit more civil about it. But, if that's the case, why was she trying so hard to say Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle's names during the end of the trip. I mean, it was JUST for the trip home? That seems weird. So, personally, I think it might've worked better where Diamond Tiara winds up acting as she did on the final trip home, which is basically snarky and a bit rude, but learning to tolerate. The ending almost makes it seem like everything Tiara went through was a waste, and all she 'learned' from it was simply limiting their fights to two minutes instead of ten minutes, if you get what I mean. Eh, just a little bugging thing.
But, overall, like I said at the start, it was incredible. You said you got inspiration for this from The Antagonist's story, right? Well, you EASILY beat the dude. While his scenes and characters may have been more "detailed", yours shined in so many more ways. You didn't make Diamond Tiara a complete monster dead-set on basically being a tyrant/queen who wanted to hurt and control everyone; instead, you made her a rude, arrogant jerk...with a backstory that explained WHY she was like that, and then allowed her to grow thanks to the plot. You didn't use so many annoying, unneeded big words; instead, you gave each scene a lot of fun, interesting depth that allowed the story to flow more naturally than it would if every single sentence was basically a storybook on its own. You made Cheerilee, Derpy, Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and even a few unimportant side-characters all important, fun, and interesting in their own ways, whereas a certain other story made Sweetie Belle a complete whimsical moron, Scootaloo a reckless maniac, Apple Bloom completely pointless, Diamond Tiara a monster, Cheerilee a non-entity, and Silver Spoon bipolar. I know you weren't trying to compete or anything, but after reading both stories back-to-back and realizing how much each one was influenced by the other (I think), I just really loved what you did more than what the other dude did. This one just felt so natural, and I loved it for that.
Personally, I would've liked to have seen Diamond Tiara develop feelings for either Apple Bloom or Scootaloo, much like in A Diamond Comes Between Friendship (another story I love on here). What sucks is one story only focuses on Sweetie Belle x Silver Spoon, while the other only focuses on Diamond Tiara x Scootaloo/Apple Bloom. I realize you probably did that on purpose, so you could be mostly focusing on one important thing and that's it, but AT TIMES it felt like the whole Silver Spoon/Sweetie Belle dynamic was TOO forced and TOO focused. I know you shifted from scene to scene constantly, which was nice, but usually it was just to show the fillies making up a silly plan, showing Cheerilee being all paranoid and worried, or more Silver Spoon/Sweetie Belle bonding. I just think seeing Diamond Tiara starting to develop feelings for one of the two Crusaders she loathed most would've been a fascinating dynamic to have to go against the other one forming, since it would've led to more feelings being tested and all that good stuff. But, again, just a minor thing.
Amazing story! I love certain shipping, and pairings between the fillies are some of my favorites...well, certain ones. Diamond Tiara x Scootaloo/Apple Bloom/Sweetie Belle is fun, and Silver Spoon x Scootaloo/Apple Bloom/Sweetie Belle is nice, too. Point is, I loved your story! You're awesome.