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Making friends is hard. Seethe, a 17 year old boy has made this discovery after getting bullied by almost everyone in his school. It got worse when they found out he was a brony. Things got really weird when he answered his door to see a girl asking for help. Join Seethe as he tries to help the main six get back into their world, find out why they came, and see his life as a living hell. (This is my first FIMfic, feedback is greatly acceptable. Please feel free to say what you liked, didnt liked, ect. and thank you for reading.)

First Published
9th Jan 2012
Last Modified
6th Apr 2012

this has a interesting start to and i really enjoy this kind of story so hope to see more of what happens next

Cannot wait for the next chapter!

the backstory for Seethe reminds me of the story of me, and my friend ty before we had become friends.:applecry: We both didn't have any real friends then we started hanging out. we're also both bronies.When we got into college we made ton of friends, many of them are also bronies life is good:eeyup:

Comon make more chapters, I love this story:twilightsmile:

You good sir brony must make *Clears throat*MOAR CHAPTERS!!:flutterrage:

Its getting good:scootangel:

Thank you everyone for your support. Since this is my first story, i was very nervous about what people would think.

Cool story bro, add some chapters.

Interesting story, and not badly handled. Your punctuation, spelling and whatnot certainly need a tidy up, and I'd seriously recommend double-spacing your paragraphs so that the story looks a whole lot less daunting. Overall needs some work, but it's a fun little read. What I'd recommend next is that you slow your pace right down, giving more detail to your story so that your narrative has some more substance. Keep going, nothing helps improving your writing style than more writing!

This story has extreme potential and can be unique to it's own (which is rare for 1st time fics), but if you keep up the creativity, I can see this evolving into something that I will check my email for updates on. My only question is: If he's made fun of being a brony so much to explode with rage at a person, why would he suddenly flip and help this mysterious person look for her so called friends (knowing that it's the Mane 6). Just seems so odd. :twilightsmile:

@Beige Monkfish Thank you for the feedback. I know that my punctuation, spelling, and "whatnot" need a tidy up. I had a friend edit it, and he helped alot (Trust me it would look alot worse) and again thank you!

this thing is great!

@FrostBite Thank you for the comment. Yes he had this rage from when he was getting picked on, but he is still a good guy. He felt bad for snapping. And he wanted to help her because she was lost and confused, no idea what this world is like, and he felt bad for her. hope that helped:derpytongue2:

I'm agreeing with everyone else on this.

Me... at this very moment -> :pinkiehappy:

Epical. :pinkiehappy: Tracking!~

Although short, I liked this story. The fact that te Mane 6 finds their way to human earth. I cannot wait for the nest installment. Keep it up!:raritywink:

>>120015 dont worry, the other stories will be longer

>>120063 (thought process):rainbowderp:.....:rainbowhuh:....:rainbowlaugh: Thats awsome!

This is really a good start for your first fic (I'm under the impression that it is). I've always felt like there was a bit to few of these "Ponies -> Human"-stories and I can't wait for the next chapter. Just remember: there's no need to rush. Take your time, and upload it when you're satisfied. I had trouble with that myself when I uploaded my chapter 2 :raritywink:

Keep up the good work Jossie! :pinkiehappy:

-Glassed

>>120261 jossie huh....going to have to get used to that, it sounds pretty good:rainbowlaugh: . And thanks, its very tempting to try and write one as soon as possible, but i need to calm down and make it really good before i put it up.:twilightsmile:

I really don't need another story on my tracked list... Damn you Jos, Why did you have to make such an interesting story?! :pinkiesmile:

Nice start to what will hopefully be a great story. Keep up the great work. :ajsmug:

this story is so good. :heart: I am so bucking excited for the next chapter you don't even know. but don't rush. I remember from writing my stories that I got so excited to put more up for my readers that I just was uploading it as soon as I got to a good stopping place and without any editing, and even though I still got good reviews I wasn't nearly as satisfied with it as I could have been. So take your time, and know that we're all super excited :pinkiehappy: for the next update because this story is :rainbowkiss: SO AWESOME

>>120063 that looks like a gun

What, no mention of me!?:twilightsmile:

>>120609:rainbowlaugh: ya sorry, didnt think it would be popular.

yeah. don't ever type "Ya" in your story. Thats more of an 'internet speak' kind of thing. I don't know, just sounds weird.

Tracking because I like what I see. Please to be cleaning up punctuation, spacing, format, all that, and you'll be A-OK :twilightsmile:

Oh, and thanks for putting Best Pony first. Hope we see some more char development in chapter 2, you've done a good job of it so far!

>>120618

What's up?  How's life?  Has it been treating you well?

You have now just gone through my introductory segment, feel free to answer them or not, that's just me being me :pinkiesmile:

Anyway, I was sent here by a mutual friend, I'll let you figure out who though.  In the end, I was glad he sent me, you have a new tracker.  Now, I'm going to be honest and say that these kinds of stories I tend to avoid, for no reason really, I just do.  For this story exceptions are being made - it is really rather good, and you have a solid beginning going so far.  My interest has been grabbed, and I look forward to more.

Onto some other things now though.  You could stand to change the format, like double spacing between new paragraphs.  It makes the story look more clean, and it gives off a more lengthy look.  It just seems to compact the way you have it now.  You also have some punctuation errors here and there but those aren't too important right now.  You seem to have the narration going pretty well, and the dialog is good, so you have a pretty firm grasp on the story in general - especially for a first time.  Just touch up the format and watch those pesky punctuations and you'll be set.

This story is interesting, and I do await more :ajsmug:

>>127331 Im good, life is pretty good i guess, its been treating me aw well as everyone else. (wanted to answer those questions:rainbowlaugh:) Thanks for the comment, i'll be picking at my brain to see who sent you, LOL. I used to write stiories before, and they sucked, but i learned from them. Working on the new chapter, I am trying to make it look more 'readable' as this chapter has clumps of words here and there. Also, my friend (Skwoogle) is helping me with punctuation, and grammer and all that. You have a good day!:moustache:

>>127361 >>127331

Hay, don't just blame me for the punctuation! I'm going off of what you did. (I won't mention the version you sent me, and it's condition...)

>>127490 LOL, you mean that horrible thing i sent you, ya.:rainbowlaugh:

>>120884 Thank you for the feed back. Looking back on it, The 'Ya' word doesnt seem as good as 'Yeah' and now im making sure its put into my stories (Although i might've missed some :twilightblush:) Not only that, but im starting to see when im typing to my friends that im typing 'Yeah' instead of 'Ya'. So thank you,:rainbowlaugh:

YES! New chapter!!~ :twilightsmile:

Ahem.Sorry for double post, but I think it was a pretty good chapter. A few mistakes here and there, missed punctuation, stuff like that, but it's cool. :pinkiehappy:

why is dash called rebecca by teachers? and how she already signed up at school? lastly, HOW DARE THEY PUT FLUTTERSHY IN A LOCKER!:flutterrage:

This is really good. But I'm going to try and find something to hate on.

Here it is. At the start of the chapter wouldn't twilight want to go to school and get dressed/ready like super fast, for the reasons of finding her friends and because she like to study and what not.

But really good story not going to hate on it. I want more. Here's some stars.

>>136695 Dash is called Rebecca because it sounds human enough for her. And Fluttershy.....:twilightblush:

>>136714 well what i meant is why dash changed her name or how she even knew about the name rebecca. and you didnt answer how shes in school. I DEMAND ANSWERS!

>>136729 LOL ok calm down. :rainbowlaugh:

SHe probably heard someone saying it before and decided to go with that name instead of "Rainbow Dash". She changed if because not only was she teased by her hair and eyes, but her name is also diffrent. Also how she signed up in school, who said she was? :derpyderp2:

>>136739 sorry for the outburst:twilightblush:. but she must be signed up if her name is listed and the teacher knows her name

>>136744 LOL, good point

>>136745 looks like somepony got some splainin to do:ajsmug:

>>119550 The only way to handle your first fic is to put it out there and ask what everypony thinks about it. If they don't like it, try again. If they love it, that's awesome. It's a trial and error sort of thing.

>>136800 ok.....do you like it?:rainbowlaugh:

>>136808 It most certainly isn't bad in any way. It also isn't my kind of story, but it is pretty well written. Certainly better than my first fic here on FiMfiction.

>>136801Goddamniit, CURSE YOU DOUBLE POOOOOOOOOOOSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT :raritydespair:

>>136820 Thank you. And thats nice that your being honest about this not being your type of story.:twilightsmile:

>>136831 Why lie when nothing is gained?

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