Okay, fuck it. The story won't get completed today, but this is the big finish anyway. Before "Resolutions" there is another very short chapter called "Distractions", but I'm releasing this one out of order! Yes, I am breaking all the rules! It shouldn't really matter, since "Distractions" is a flashback with very little plot relevance.
Also, now you all get to find out that I really have no fucking idea how to write erotica.
1691773 aw man, I hoped it would turn into a longer stories with ponies finding out about it, and other ponies secrets coming out and all that good stuff. Oh well, great story!
Great story, though. I'll admit, I originally avoided all Shining x Twilight stories like the plague; incest is not for me. But I saw this got featured and decided to give it a go.
And I thought this story was going to be shit. But I figured there must be a good reason why it's stayed at the number one spot for so long. And boy, was I right! This was some of the best clop I've read in a long time! Thumbs up and favourite to you.
Erotica does get more allowances than other types of writing as far as quality goes.
But, and this is coming from a moderately experienced porn writer... this was amazing. Incredibly well done. Mind you, there's a big difference between 'Romantic' erotica and your regularly scheduled PWP erotica, but this is an excellent example of how to do the former right. Most excellent.
It's not what they're doing. It's the feeling of what they're doing, what it does to their emotions and their senses. And the readers, as you can see, pick up on that. Don't say you're bad at it, because let's face it... You felt this. You wouldn't have written it if you didn't. And if you feel it, your readers will feel it, which will influence the rest of your writing to fit that whole feedback loop. So I expect the rest of this story, if there's anything left, to be amazing.
You know...I don't.really care about the clop in this as much as I do the romance. I mean really, your doing such a good job at showing their utter infatuation for each other that its more appealing to watch them love one another than it is to watch them boink...The boinking is good too.
to hear one of my favorite (published) authors, that's the best way to write, Robert Heinlien, while he himself (to my knowlage) ever said this himself, he did use one of his author mouthpieces to say it for him in The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, the character is also an author which is a big deal in this universe for reasons that would be major spoilers to say here, and he knows a lot about militery stuff (being a military man himself) he finds himself unable to write military stories and actually sell them, they are too real, they get bogged down with extraneous realism and detail, what he knows nothing about is rrrrrromance (pronounced with way to many Rs with the accompanying :sigh: :faint-sound:) and he writes them and is able to afford a nice place in a verry luxurious locale there was a quote that sums that paragraph better but I lost it
also please continue it this is awesome I believe this is the first pony PWP I have favorited congrats
That was surprisingly entertaining clop! Well freakin done!!!
You have a gift in writing! I loved your interpretation of Cadence and her growing relationship with Twilight! You also have the best clop dialogue I've ever read. Loved the bit with Cadence and Twilight running away together... Shining prep your ego cause it's going to hell in a hoof basket.
Can't wait to read more of your work! Good luck and pickles out! (I don't know either)
Random fact of the day: Strange noises around Canterlot Castle have been heard recently as well as a strang Goo like substance being found around the floor, furniture, and kitchen appliances. Princess Celestia as assembled an investigation team to look into this mystery. Since these events happen usually around nightfall, Princess Luna has been asked if she can elaborate on this mystery. Luna's respond was "it's just the captain, the student, and the princess relieving stress among other things." The investigation team has revealed no answer to this nightly occurrence.
1691773 you are a god among us. You actually wrote clop so well and so intemit (iPod, so spelling may be off) that I felt it... wrong is the best word I can think of in terms of weather or not to clop to this. It felt like I would destroy the atmosphere that was created by these three. That right there is a work well made, intimacy so great that you just want to shut the door as quietly as possible and leave them to themselves.
On another note I thought this was going to be a much longer story and had extremely high hopes for it. *sigh* oh well, happy with what I got
AWESOME!! I knew that a threesome was coming soon and I could only imagine this scene in an anthro animation by ZONE which makes it all even better. I'm looking forward for the next chapter (or previous, whatever) and dude, you really can write a good erotica. Have you thought about an apple-dash clop fic yet?
Not really sure how to praise this fic in a way that emphasises how much I mean it. Honestly, I find it difficult think of a more perfect situation, or sequence of reactions. The emotions and paraphilias played together perfectly, and the way you portrayed the trio's relationships and personalities was stellar. I absolutely especially loved your take on Cadence.
The only problem that I can see is that the moment before Twi gets on the bed may be a bit too short, sort of underplaying the voyeurism aspects of the scene. I liked that Twi moved past the idea of watching for the sake of itself, but when Shining asked her if she intended to just stand there, I honestly hoped she'd say yes. There's enough room for both to take place, really.
1691773 Great Erotica Checklist: 1) Believable intro (Check) 2) Porn (Check) 3) Theme or Fetish (Check) 4) Fap-ibility (Check) 5) Strong emotional ties (Check)
I might be missing a few or not but I'm pretty sure you've met most of what ever they were as well in some way so I'd say you know exactly how to write great erotica.
Oh, and Shining's the noodles, Cadence is the sauce with diced tomatoes, and Twilight's the spices. Together, they make epic spaghetti.
Okay, fuck it. The story won't get completed today, but this is the big finish anyway.
Before "Resolutions" there is another very short chapter called "Distractions", but I'm releasing this one out of order! Yes, I am breaking all the rules!
It shouldn't really matter, since "Distractions" is a flashback with very little plot relevance.
Also, now you all get to find out that I really have no fucking idea how to write erotica.
I said they were gonna have threesome! Called it!
Poor Shiny...
1691773 aw man, I hoped it would turn into a longer stories with ponies finding out about it, and other ponies secrets coming out and all that good stuff. Oh well, great story!
Over already?
Great story, though. I'll admit, I originally avoided all Shining x Twilight stories like the plague; incest is not for me. But I saw this got featured and decided to give it a go.
I leik.
Listening to Toccata and Fugue in D major while reading this is strangely fitting.
Great scene.
1691773
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/444/062/ad8.jpg
There needs to be more!
1691773
Wrong. You kick ass at writing erotica. This was a clopfic with a decent story that managed to stay consistent. Even during the sex. Good job.
fim.413chan.net/fim/src/132225821892-I_could_clop_to_this.jpg
But I didn't
...
Was hoping for Twilight to horn drill Cadence...
1691773
No fucking idea and yet this thing is in the feature box.
LOGIC = FUCKED.
1691773
And yet I haven't read clop that good in a while. You did a pretty freakin good job on it. Hot as hell.
Awesome. Awesome to the max
Soooooo... with how popular this has become, do you think you'll write more like it?
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
I liked this. I dunno what you mean by saying you have no idea how to write erotica, you did a wonderful job.
im gonna have to go with twicest is the bestcest
1681183 Hahaha
1684058 Blue!
1691773
Apparently writing erotica is like shooting shit with auto aim that is.
Apparently it is very hard to fuck up, because this is decent.
1691886
Yeah, me too.
Here's hoping for moar!
And I thought this story was going to be shit. But I figured there must be a good reason why it's stayed at the number one spot for so long. And boy, was I right! This was some of the best clop I've read in a long time! Thumbs up and favourite to you.
Awesome sir! This was quite enjoyable.
Yeah, I was really hoping there would be more >: This was a great read
I liked this more than I should. I am so going to hell.
I WILL ENJOY THE ENTIRE TRIP.
1692279
Erotica does get more allowances than other types of writing as far as quality goes.
But, and this is coming from a moderately experienced porn writer... this was amazing. Incredibly well done. Mind you, there's a big difference between 'Romantic' erotica and your regularly scheduled PWP erotica, but this is an excellent example of how to do the former right. Most excellent.
1692448 Huzzah! MOAR! And Et Cetera! *raises glass*
Gentelmen. I have no idea what I'm about to type next.
Scout Manface eats you and all you love.
For no reason.
Sleep depriviation can do weird things to the mind.
mlpchan.net/pony/src/1346938664774.gif
...And thus, shining armor managed to be the first married third wheel
1691773 I dunno, man...
That was pretty legit.
It's not what they're doing. It's the feeling of what they're doing, what it does to their emotions and their senses. And the readers, as you can see, pick up on that. Don't say you're bad at it, because let's face it... You felt this. You wouldn't have written it if you didn't. And if you feel it, your readers will feel it, which will influence the rest of your writing to fit that whole feedback loop. So I expect the rest of this story, if there's anything left, to be amazing.
Write. Moar. Nao.
You know...I don't.really care about the clop in this as much as I do the romance. I mean really, your doing such a good job at showing their utter infatuation for each other that its more appealing to watch them love one another than it is to watch them boink...The boinking is good too.
MORE! NEED MORE FORBIDDEN LOVE!
Yes, the threesome. \o/
Hi, Diced Tomatoes! :D
They should keep calling him diced tomatoes as a running joke.
ΔΓ
1691773
to hear one of my favorite (published) authors, that's the best way to write,
Robert Heinlien, while he himself (to my knowlage) ever said this himself, he did use one of his author mouthpieces to say it for him in The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, the character is also an author which is a big deal in this universe for reasons that would be major spoilers to say here, and he knows a lot about militery stuff (being a military man himself) he finds himself unable to write military stories and actually sell them, they are too real, they get bogged down with extraneous realism and detail, what he knows nothing about is rrrrrromance (pronounced with way to many Rs with the accompanying :sigh: :faint-sound:) and he writes them and is able to afford a nice place in a verry luxurious locale there was a quote that sums that paragraph better but I lost it
also please continue it
this is awesome I believe this is the first pony PWP I have favorited congrats
1691901
Pretty much ditto.
Wow... That was awesome!
That was surprisingly entertaining clop! Well freakin done!!!
You have a gift in writing! I loved your interpretation of Cadence and her growing relationship with Twilight! You also have the best clop dialogue I've ever read. Loved the bit with Cadence and Twilight running away together... Shining prep your ego cause it's going to hell in a hoof basket.
Can't wait to read more of your work! Good luck and pickles out! (I don't know either)
Random fact of the day: Strange noises around Canterlot Castle have been heard recently as well as a strang Goo like substance being found around the floor, furniture, and kitchen appliances. Princess Celestia as assembled an investigation team to look into this mystery. Since these events happen usually around nightfall, Princess Luna has been asked if she can elaborate on this mystery. Luna's respond was "it's just the captain, the student, and the princess relieving stress among other things." The investigation team has revealed no answer to this nightly occurrence.
1691773
you are a god among us. You actually wrote clop so well and so intemit (iPod, so spelling may be off) that I felt it... wrong is the best word I can think of in terms of weather or not to clop to this. It felt like I would destroy the atmosphere that was created by these three. That right there is a work well made, intimacy so great that you just want to shut the door as quietly as possible and leave them to themselves.
On another note I thought this was going to be a much longer story and had extremely high hopes for it. *sigh* oh well, happy with what I got
1693089 Huh?
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSPP95ChgCu5_n0WUtC05f6PvpO-BWIambhyGZ76VvD1OLXLIJK4w
This was fruckin' adorable, quite literally in this case. And now, back to our feature presentation...
1691884 Indeed
That was actually what I'd probably call the most canonical depiction of Twilight having sex (with Cadence and Shiny too) I've seen. Daaaaayum.
I think Cadence sums it up best: " this is... so hot.”
-Get down.
-No.
-Get the hell down!
-FUCK NO! *collides into Valikdu's forehead and knocks him out* YES! NOW I HAVE ALL THE BLOOD FOR MYSELF!
AWESOME!!
I knew that a threesome was coming soon and I could only imagine this scene in an anthro animation by ZONE which makes it all even better. I'm looking forward for the next chapter (or previous, whatever) and dude, you really can write a good erotica. Have you thought about an apple-dash clop fic yet?
Not really sure how to praise this fic in a way that emphasises how much I mean it. Honestly, I find it difficult think of a more perfect situation, or sequence of reactions. The emotions and paraphilias played together perfectly, and the way you portrayed the trio's relationships and personalities was stellar. I absolutely especially loved your take on Cadence.
The only problem that I can see is that the moment before Twi gets on the bed may be a bit too short, sort of underplaying the voyeurism aspects of the scene. I liked that Twi moved past the idea of watching for the sake of itself, but when Shining asked her if she intended to just stand there, I honestly hoped she'd say yes. There's enough room for both to take place, really.
1691773
Great Erotica Checklist:
1) Believable intro (Check)
2) Porn (Check)
3) Theme or Fetish (Check)
4) Fap-ibility (Check)
5) Strong emotional ties (Check)
I might be missing a few or not but I'm pretty sure you've met most of what ever they were as well in some way so I'd say you know exactly how to write great erotica.
Oh, and Shining's the noodles, Cadence is the sauce with diced tomatoes, and Twilight's the spices. Together, they make epic spaghetti.