Dr. McNinja goes on an Equestrian Adventure

by Mysterious Stranger

Chapter 4: This isn't middle earth, Gordito

"And that is why my sister and I are called princesses, despite the fact our parents are long dead and we art the sole rulers of Equestria," Princess Luna said as the four travelers made their way across the fields towards society.

"That makes sense," Gordito said from her left. "In our world queens usually get a bad rep as well. The title princess just sounds a lot more pleasant."

"We're here," Princess Celestia said as they reached the top of a hill. "Ponyville."

Dr. McNinja paused with interest to study the sight before him as the alicorns walked on ahead. Ponyville was a large village full of tan cottages with thatched roofs of golden straw. The color pink was abundant on the structures as well. Pink doors, pink windows, and many of the buildings had pink heart shaped wind vanes on their roofs. Ponies in a wide variety of bright colors walked about doing human like things, such as shopping, chatting, or playing sports.

"What a cute little village!" Dr. McNinja said. "A world full of little sapient horses, isn't that something, Gordito?"

Gordito didn't respond. Dr. McNinja glanced at his sidekick and saw that he was scowling.

"Something wrong, Gordito?"

"This reality is starting to feel more like a T.V. show for little girls than an epic fantasy land," Gordito said. "It's full of unicorns, rainbows, and I think I see a whole bunch of ponies doing a musical number over there."

"I don't know," Dr. McNinja said thoughtfully. "Once you get past all the bright colors, I can't help but feel we might find something really special here."

Gordito seemed intent on pouting, so Dr. McNinja simply motioned him to follow and walked quickly to catch up with the alicorns. The citizens of Ponyville reacted quite noticeably as the humans and the alicorns entered the town square. Every single one of them dropped whatever they were doing to bow to the Princesses, even the ones who were in the middle of a musical number. But when they saw the humans, their eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. Gordito was surprised to overhear one of them whisper the word "guns" as he passed them. Before too long, Princess Celestia led them to a giant tree with a trunk thick enough to be a building. It had round glass windows, two balconies, and a doormat, which led Dr. McNinja to believe it was a home. This theory was strengthened when Princess Celestia rapped a hoof on the door.

Within a few seconds a short purple dragon with green spines opened it. For a moment Gordito was excited that there were dragons, until he realized that this one in particular was wearing an apron with pink frilly edges and a pink heart stitched onto the front. Was nothing sacred?

"Hi Princess Celestia," the dragon said causally.

"Hello Spike. Is Twilight Sparkle here?" Princess Celestia replied.

"She's here," Spike answered as his eyes jumped from Princess Luna, to Dr. McNinja, and finally Gordito. Unlike the rest of Ponyville, the dragon didn't radiate sheer amazement. Instead, he only had a look of mild interest. "Come on in, I'll go get her."

Dr. McNinja and company entered the tree as Spike ran halfway up a set of wooden stairs.

"Hey, Twilight!" he called. "Princess Celestia is here!"

"Nice try, Spike," A voice said from upstairs. "I'm not falling for that again."

"Come on down, Twilight. There isn't any time to waste," Princess Celestia said.

Dr. McNinja heard a gasp from upstairs, shortly followed by a thump. After that a purple unicorn appeared at the top of the steps and briskly came down the stairs, nearly losing her balance twice as she did so. In the back of his mind, Dr. McNinja noticed that her head was just above his belt buckle in height, like many other of the horses he had seen. It seemed to him that the only ones that were the same size as horses in his world were the princesses. He wondered if this Twilight Sparkle would turn into a standard sized motorcycle in his reality, a miniature one, or something else?

"Um, who are you, and why are you staring at me?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"Hm? Oh, sorry, I zoned out there for a second. I was just having an internal dialogue," Dr. McNinja said.

Twilight Sparkle tilted her head quizzically as she looked at the ninja doctor.

"Unless you have multiple personality disorder, I believe the word you're looking for is monologue, not dialogue," Twilight Sparkle said.

"Buuuuuurn," Gordito and Spike stage-whispered simultaneously.

"Twilight Sparkle, Dr. McNinja. Dr. McNinja, Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia said formally, ignoring the "burn" comment. "Twilight, Dr. McNinja and his companion here are beings from another universe that entered our world through a... what did you call it?"

"Time-space portal," Dr. McNinja said.

"You're from another reality?" Twilight Sparkle asked with sudden interest.

"For all I know, I'm just from another time period in this reality." Dr. McNinja shrugged.

"Sparklelord," said Princess Luna.

"Yes, thank you, Luna,” said Princess Celestia. “Twilight, I need you to gather the Bearers of Harmony once again. Canterlot Castle has been attacked."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Attacked?! By who?!"

Princess Celestia glanced at Dr. McNinja.

"Right, the who,” he said. “So there's this unicorn from my reality, or time, who is from another reality, or this one, and he's twisted to want to destroy everything for no particular reason except because he can."

"Soooooo he's from where exactly?" asked Twilight Sparkle.

"Somewhere."

"That doesn't really help."

"Where he's from isn't important," said Princess Celestia. "What's important is that you and your friends use the Elements of Harmony to defeat him."

Dr. McNinja raised his hand as if he was in a classroom.

"Um, yes doctor?" Princess Celestia said.

"What are the Elements of Harmony?"

"Six ancient artifacts that serve as the catalysts for the magic of friendship,” Twilight Sparkle said. “My friends and I are the Bearers of Harmony, the only ponies of this generation that can wield their power."

"Friendship is magic," Gordito deadpanned.

"That's right!" Twilight Sparkle beamed.

Gordito sat down in a chair and started cleaning his guns without saying anything or looking up. Twilight Sparkle stared at the weapons in alarm for a moment before turning her attention back to Princess Celestia.

"Did you bring the Elements of Harmony with you?" she asked.

"No I did not," Princess Celestia said with a slight wince. "You're going to have to retrieve them in order to defeat Sparklelord."

Gordito glanced up from his gun cleaning. "Wait, let me get this straight. Twilight Sparkle and her friends are the only ones who can use the Elements of Harmony, but you keep them in a castle far away from where they live?"

"For safekeeping," Princess Celestia said rather defensively. "The Elements of Harmony are kept in a room that can only be opened with my... um..."

"With your magic?" Gordito said.

"With my magic," Princess Celestia admitted painfully.

"Well that's fine," Twilight Sparkle said a little uneasily, "You can just go and retrieve them while I go get my friends right?"

Princess Celestia didn't respond.

"Princess Celestia?"

"There is another thing thou should know about Sparklelord," Princess Luna said slowly. "He apparently possesses the ability to drain magic from other creatures."

"Drain... magic?" Twilight Sparkle said fearfully.

"Yes, a power that he used on both my sister and I," Princess Luna said gravely. "If the doctor and his companion had not arrived when they did, he surely would have taken all of our power and robbed us of our immortality as well. Now, we are powerless, and it is up to thou to defeat him."

"But... what would stop him from draining my magic?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

Neither of the alicorns said anything.

"I would recommend not letting him catch you," Dr. McNinja suggested.

"Dr. McNinja, you said you are a ninja as a well as a doctor correct?" asked Princess Celestia.

Dr. McNinja nodded. "That's right."

"Would it be possible then, for you to lead the Bearers of Harmony on a stealthy infiltration of Canterlot Castle to retrieve the Elements?"

Dr. McNinja exchanged a glance with Gordito.

"If you really think that's the best way to defeat Sparklelord, then I suppose I could," Dr. McNinja replied. "But if they're kept in a room that can only be opened by your magic, how are we supposed to get them?"

"I honestly don't know." Princess Celestia cringed. "Given Sparklelord's tendencies for random destruction, it's possible he may have created a way in already."

"That's a bit of a stretch," said Gordito.

"If thou would recall, I suggested keeping the Elements of Harmony in Ponyville after the Discord incident," Princess Luna said.

"Luna," Princess Celestia said through gritted teeth, "Now is really not the time."

"I am only speaking."

Princess Celestia looked as she really wanted to make a retort, but after a glance at Twilight Sparkle she held her tongue. Dr. McNinja felt the tension between the two sisters, and he decided he did not want to be around when it snapped.

"Well, Twilight Sparkle," he said quickly, "Shall we proceed to find all of your friends and depart on our quest?"

"Yes, let's," Twilight Sparkle said hastily as she, Spike, Gordito, and Dr. McNinja causally escaped out the front door.

Comments

[Dan]

I'm speechless...

[blazikenking]

It was a good chapter. UNTIL IT ENDED!

1812400 You just said something, so you aren't quite speechless.

[Mysterious Stranger]

1813756
It's quite possible that what he meant to say was that his name is "speechless". As for chapters ending, I'm afraid that is a problem that simply cannot be fixed.

[Xantari]

Good and amusing chapter. I almost feel bad for Gordito, but if he has any sense he'll learn to appreciate Equestria for the epic place it is.

[blazikenking]

1814957 If he meant to say that his name is "speechless", wouldn't it have been capitalized?

[Mysterious Stranger]

1815417
Could have been a typo. The only other plausible explanation would be that he left a frustratingly vague comment on my fanfic ON PURPOSE. Speechless because it was amazing? Speechless because it was so horrible and stupid? I'll never know for sure!

[dbanksischillin]

AAAAHHH YYEEEAHHHHH

[Mysterious Stranger]

1891029
I was wondering if someone would ever catch that. Believe it or not, that was on purpose. See, at first I was going to spell it the correct way, but then I thought it might be a little jarring to those who don't know the proper spelling. (Which according to Chris Hastings, is a lot) So I spelled it phonetically.

[PaulAsaran]

Lots of thoughts here.

1) Spike's seen a lot of crap being Twilight's assistant; seeing two humans or the first time obviously wouldn't phase him.

2) And so Luna once again proves her superiority by pointing out that she actually had a good idea compared to her sister's blatant and ever-present disregard for common sense.

3) Yet that is totally ruined by the fact that she too fails to see the painfully obvious flaw in using a magic-centric weapon against an opponent who drains magic. How did these two keep Equestria from being conquered from the day it was founded?

4) They sure are trusting of Dr. McNinja's abilities for having only just met him... an hour or two ago? But hey, he's got a lab coat – so he must be a smart guy – and a ninja's mask and wakizashi – so he must be an expert ninja, right?

I'll just keep rolling with it. That's what the doctor would do! Also, I love that Gordito is so repulsed by the 'girly' nature of Equestria while Dr. McNinja appears to be ready and willing to join the herd. I think you nailed their responses.

Also: someone needs to design Mane 6-themed Kawasaki Ninja motorcycles and draw Dr. McNinja and his family/friends riding them just for this fic. That would be fekkin awesome.

[Danger Beans]

Dr. McNinja noticed that her head was just above his belt buckle in height

*cough*Phrasing!*cough*

[Humanoid]

It seemed to him that the only ones that were the same size as horses in his world were the princesses. He wondered if this Twilight Sparkle would turn into a standard sized motorcycle in his reality, a miniature one, or something else?

platypusdirective.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/aavespa1-3.jpg

Also,

"But... what would stop him from draining my magic?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

Neither of the alicorns said anything.

"I would recommend not letting him catch you," Dr. McNinja suggested.

A master of the obvious is Dr. McNinja.

[Lycanthromancer]

Causally =/= Casually. The same typo has been made more than once so far.