Dr. McNinja goes on an Equestrian Adventure

by Mysterious Stranger

Epilogue: The new era

Radical Land, two months before the founding of Equestria

Discord yawned as he woke up from his slumber. The spot he had picked to sleep was underground, a mere pocket among millions of rocks mashed together by pressure. Because it had no tunnels or exits, it was completely devoid of air. For Discord, the lack of oxygen hadn’t been a problem to his napping. Discord willed himself to be intangible as he shot straight up from his granite bed. Through layer after layer of earth he traveled. A faint and unreasonable hope was inside his heart. Discord truly wished that Rainbow Sparkle had recovered from his transformation by now. Discord desired a real friend, not just another worshipper. It was this hope that urged Discord on faster and faster until he reached the surface of Radical Land.

Discord blinked in surprise when he saw his surroundings. The Radical Land he saw was not the Radical Land he knew. There were no trees. No castles. No skateboard parks. No rivers of mountain dew. No life. The entire land was black, burnt away by a fire that couldn’t have had natural causes. A frown of puzzlement appeared on his Discord’s face. Had long had he been asleep?

“Discord! My God!” A voice suddenly cried out in joy.

Discord felt the magical aura of the speaker before he appeared. The speaker was Alondro, King of the Windigos and Discord’s first attempt at creating a real friend. The being was an entity of wind and ice, chilly breezes that whirled around while still maintaining the general form of a horse.

“Where have you been?!” Alondro practically sobbed like a child. “I haven’t felt your presence in nearly three weeks!”

“I was taking a nap,” Discord replied flatly, not at all thrilled by the reunion.

Many times throughout the eons Discord had considered thinking his failed friend attempts out of existence. Sometimes he had, only to find himself extremely lonely afterword. His worshippers were not true friends, but at least he could talk to them.

“You were asleep for three weeks?” Alondro said in disbelief.

“I’m part dragon,” Discord explained. “Sue me.”

“I would be more than glad to file a lawsuit against my God!” Alondro declared happily, completely oblivious to Discord’s sarcasm.

“Yeah whatever,” Discord yawned. “Since you’re here, why don’t you tell me why Radical Land is nothing but charred rock?

“Oh, my Lord, it was a glorious display of chaos! A great army ravaged the land with fire!” Alondro said gleefully.

“An army huh? Was it being led by a unicorn with a rainbow colored mane?” Discord inquired.

“Not that I saw,” Alondro admitted. “Nor any of my Windigos.”

Discord gazed over the land, his senses extending even further for any sign of life or magic. But Radical Land was now nothing but an empty husk. Discord was silent as he took it all in. The death. The silence. The stillness.

“This is boring!” Discord yelled at the sky.

Discord snapped his fingers and a table appeared in front of him. With a howl of rage he flipped it over, but it did nothing to lessen his frustration.

“Perhaps you could create some chaos?” Alondro suggested.

“What’s the point?” Discord demanded to know. “There’s no one around to toy with!”

Discord crossed his arms and levitated in a sitting position for a much needed pouting session. For several minutes he sulked, until his dark mood was punctured by the sharp needle of inspiration. As the details began to form in his mind, a smile crept over his face.

“Ooh! What are you going to do?” Alondro asked eagerly when he saw Discord’s smile.

Instead of responding, Discord straightened and lifted his right arm, his paw open. With a mighty tremble, the continent that was formally Radical Land began to rise. Rocks cracked and fell from the underside of the massive land as the ocean began to flow in beneath it with a loud roar.

“Up is down,” Discord smirked as he made a lazy gesture with his paw.

Slowly but surely, the land began to rotate. Mountains on one side became stalactites on the other and black charred earth was replaced with fresh brown. Discord chuckled when he saw that diamonds and other precious stones were now abundant on the top instead of miles below. The light of the sun glistened on the exposed treasures, creating a multitude of reflected colors that lit up the entire land with their brilliance.

“Beautiful! Just beautiful, God! Your works are wonderful!” Alondro cheered.

“Yeah yeah, I know that,” Discord agreed distractedly as he studied the new country.

In Discord’s opinion, it was a good start to a new age of chaos. Not that it would exactly the same as before. After all, chaos had destroyed Radical Land and all its inhabitants. Therefore, if he wanted it to last longer, he would need chaos of a different variety. Namely, chaos that was a lot less lethal. For Discord, it was hardly a sacrifice. He didn’t make chaos for the sake of killing everyone, he did it for the thrill of messing with them. If non-lethal chaos lasted longer, then he was certainly ready to try it.

Discord snapped his fingers, and trees randomly shot out from the ground all over the new continent. Cracks in the ground for rivers and lakes popped into existence as well, waiting to be filled.

“Alondro,” he announced as he turned to look out to the sea. “I have a mission for you.”

“Yes, God! Anything you want!” Alondro said eagerly.

“I want you and your fellow Windigos to search the planet,” Discord informed him. “And I want you to find the most easily riled up race in existence. A race that would lose their cool in the face of even the slightest grievance. Bonus points if they’re a rather cute species and already have a lot of racist tension.”

“And what should I do when I find them?” Alondro pressed.

Discord turned back to the new land and smiled.

“What should you do when you find them? Why, convince them to come here of course,” he replied.

Author's Note:

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed the story. One last shout-out to Totallynotabrony for all his help with editing and ideas. Of course, props to my sister for making the cover art and to Jamey4 for the cover art background. Also, now that you've read the entire story, it's not to late too rate if you haven't already.

Best wishes,

-Mysterious Stranger

Comments

[Arcane Howitzer]

HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THIS?!
*adds to read later*

[Alondro]

HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME A WINDIGO!

I shall freeze the very marrow of your bones with my ice pow...

Goddammit...

So, Radical Land was Equestria all along. Which means Discord needs to BE EXECUTED BY ME (since I am God) for causing DEATH!! Several million counts of 2nd and 3rd degree murder, war crimes, misuse of dark magic... yep, cosmic death penalty stuff!

[SwimmingDalek98]

... what?

[Ssendam the Masked]

This explains a lot.
Also, WHAT A TWEEEEEEEEEEEST

[Brony Tom]

Great story all around.

[Cades]

3134489

since I am God

'Scuse you.

I'm being sassy. Is that a crime?

[Alondro]

3136597 WELL I AM!!

I'm gonna blow up yer planet with fire and brimstone if you don't RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!

memberfiles.freewebs.com/03/56/49645603/photos/pics/cartman_authorita3.jpg

[Cades]

3141354
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130318162338/warhammer40k/images/1/1a/Necron12.jpg
Bring it.

[Alondro]

3141362 I brought it!

static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/14/145373/2754750-godmanvsthepurplebeetle_3147.png

(This is why 'gods' make lousy story subjects, BTW.)

[Sozmioi]

A fairly satisfying ending. The extreme-range element blast was kind of weak, but it's hard to see how it could have been contrived not to be.

That's just how things go sometimes.

[Snowy]

3141634
i.imgur.com/FLXPGie.jpg
Gods make excellent subjects for stories, as long as they are up against other gods (or similarly powerful beings)! Also, you should take care to remember that gods are not by necessity omnipotent.

Source: mythology is awesome, you should check it out.

[Alondro]

3157865 I've seen too many stories recently that have been god-moding the crap out of things.

It's made me very touchy on the subject.

[Traintrax]

Not to shoot down any hopes and dreams you may have, but technically the Doctor outright failed his original mission. He still lacks am awesome rainbow bike. This means......

Nanananananananananaaaaaaaa-

SEQUEL!!!!!!!

[Mysterious Stranger]

3228340
Hah! Nice.

[metallusionsismagic]

Metallusionsismagic's Final Thoughts (and Typos):
Chapt. 11: Hm. Well, since he's Batman now you could kill his parents to ensure he became a hero. (Looking back, this observation is all too apt. )

It wasn't that he wasn't interesting in

interested

Not that it would exactly the same as before.

add "be"
I'll see what I can do tomorrow about labeling which chapters the typos appear in.
I love it when a story has time loops, and I think this story does McNinja (and plot twists) really well. Tenouttaten!

[Mysterious Stranger]

3230948

Found errors 1,2,3,5, and 6 already. Can't really fix the cover art. But your feedback is much appreciated.

[UseFistNotMouth]

This was a fun story.

[Mysterious Stranger]

3311996 glad you enjoyed it.

[Cerulean Voice]

This review proudly brought to you, by the group Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Dr. McNinja Goes on an Equestrian Adventure

Grammar Score (out of ten): 8.5

Pros:

1) Your writing style is addictive and engaging, injected with lots of humour, attention to detail and clever structuring.
2) You have written Dr. McNinja, Gordito and Yoshi so well, that I feel like I really know them as characters. I can see them in my mind, hear their "voices" and imagine them getting up to their adventures. Which is saying something, since I haven't actually seen the webcomic before.
3) The twists and turns in this story really had me going for a while, as well as all of the Radical Land stuff: I mean, Mountain Dew instead of water? That's my kinda place!

Cons:

1) You have infrequent grammar gripes, just small stuff like a missing quotation mark, or a missing comma. Nothing overly serious/repetitive though.
2) Not sure about all of the direct real-world references (Majora's Mask, Hitler etc). They don't feel like they should be directly referred to, unless they are in the webcomic (I have no idea).
3) ...Nothing springs to mind.

Notes:

What a blast! This was a truly fun story to read. Thank you for making me aware of its existence. You've masterfully combined both universes, without the story feeling too over-saturated in one or the other. It really was a joy to read. That said, you have an average of 2-3 grammar issues per chapter. It might be worth one more comb-through to get them all, but for the most part, the story is coherent and flows rather well.
I mentioned that you made me feel like I knew the characters, even though I've never seen nor heard of them before now. It's true, Every character was visible in my mind's eye while I read. As an outsider to the concept of McNinja and co., I can confidently declare that this story requires no prior knowledge of the webcomic to enjoy it!

I hope you enjoy your review! I await your own review of my story, Keeper of the Crystal Heart.

[Mysterious Stranger]

3541004

Thank you very much for the review! I found it very helpful. I'm still reading through Keeper of the Crystal Heart, but I'd like to think I'll have a review for you before too long.

(Also, if you liked the characters, you should really check out the webcomic. It is the best webcomic on the internet.) http://drmcninja.com/newreaders.php

[Cerulean Voice]

4565605
Nope, and how the hell did you find this?
Unless your read-later list really is that backlogged...

[Cerulean Voice]

I'm sorry, I just realised I'd never faved this story. How rude of me. I do remember it being quite good

[PaulAsaran]

So Discord is The Creator, huh? What would the Mane 6 and the princesses think if they knew this? I find it rather odd that he didn't realize the obvious folly of lethal chaos from the get-go, but meh, he's Discord for a reason.

Also, I figured there had to be a perfectly logical reason that Radical Land and Equestria seemed so similar. Where'd the Mountain Dew go, though?

Better yet, where'd Sparklelord go?

This was a fun ride and (generally) well executed. I figured I'd mention this little bout of radicalness in my blog; with any luck it'll earn a few more readers for you.

...when it all comes down to it, I suppose there's only one important question to ask: If Chris read this, would he approve?

I'd like to think he would.

[PaulAsaran]

4565629

how the hell did you find this?

Unless your read-later list really is that backlogged...

...yes. Yes it is. This was literally the very first story on the list. With the exception of your material, I aim to whittle down the list by order of the story's discovery, which generally means older stories first.

[Mysterious Stranger]

4575204

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! Chapter by chapter reviews are by far my favorite types of comments.

[PaulAsaran]

4579310
You are more than welcome! I have always valued commentary over likes and faves, so I try to offer them frequently; if I like it, I imagine others do too. And thank you or bringing the joys of Dr. McNinja to the MLP universe!

[Mysterious Stranger]

5664016

Thanks for letting me know. I'll try to fix that as soon as I can.

[wlam]

Well, in all honesty, this was rather disappointing. There was a lot of general adventuring, but for a Dr. McNinja story, it was really light on the "actually being funny" part of it. Not actually bad, but still meh. Oh well.

[Mysterious Stranger]

7266062

Yeah... the assumptions I was making behind that bit of dialogue really sticks out. Honestly, the canonical version of Radical Land likely used something much cooler as currency anyway. Thanks for the comments, I always appreciate chapter by chapter feedback.

[wlam]

7266624
My pleasure.

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!

[totallynotabrony]

Man, good times.

[Mysterious Stranger]

8090957

Good times indeed. I still remember snickering to myself late into the late while writing.

[Red Does Reviewing]

OH MY FUCKING GOD YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I will read this later but i love dr mcninja