Chapter 11: What would Batman do?
As Dr. McNinja scanned the pizza trees ahead of him like a fat man looking for Hot Pockets in his freezer, he couldn't help but think that the hunt for Rainbow Dash should not have been as difficult as it was proving to be. After all, Rainbow Dash was a brightly colored horse with wings. Even for a horse her size, a blue coated and rainbow maned pegasus ought to be a horrible candidate for hide and seek.
Just as Dr. McNinja turned to start searching in another direction, he spotted Rarity standing not too far away. For most people, seeing a unicorn in real life was more than enough reason to pay extra attention. But what actually struck Dr. McNinja as noteworthy was the fact that Rarity was standing as still as a statue. Taking care to avoid detection, Dr. McNinja silently maneuvered through the pizza trees until he was close enough to see why. The white unicorn had a floating revolver pointed at the back of her head. Sitting atop Yoshi to her left was Gordito, who was in the same unfortunate situation with another levitating gun.
Dr. McNinja's eyes widened when he saw the third member of the stand off, not counting Yoshi. Positioned behind Gordito was a unicorn who looked exactly like Sparklelord, save for the fact he was smaller than the Sparklelord Dr. McNinja had seen in Canterlot Castle. The unicorn's horn was glowing, which led Dr. McNinja to believe he was the one in control of Gordito's guns.
"What's going on over– whoa!" exclaimed Twilight Sparkle as she, Spike, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Fluttershy appeared on the scene.
The Sparklelord look-alike's eyes widened when he saw the group around him.
"I'm not looking for trouble, I just want to know what's going on," he said as he positioned himself between his two hostages.
"Taken hostage by a unicorn," Gordito muttered under his breath. "I'm never going to live this down."
"We're not looking for trouble either," Twilight Sparkle told the new unicorn. "We've come from another reality or timeline or something, and we're looking for our friend who went through the time space portal before we did."
"You came through the time space portal?" the unicorn asked.
"Oh! so you already know about it? Okay, that's good, because that was probably the least believable part of our story," Twilight Sparkle said with relief. "Now, um, could you give Gordito his guns back?"
The unicorn's eyes darted around, as if afraid to spend too much time looking at any one individual.
"Not yet,” he said. "I still don't understand. If you're just looking for your friend, why did you shoot Flora?"
"Shoot who now?" Applejack asked. "Gordito sure as sugar didn't shoot nopony. We've all been too busy lookin' fer Rainbow Dash."
"R.J.!" Rainbow Dash suddenly called out as she rushed onto the scene. "Hold up, they're cool, they're with me!"
The unicorn, evidently called R.J., glanced at Rainbow Dash. Dr. McNinja couldn't help but notice that one of Rainbow Dash's wings was in a cast, just like when the alleged future version of her had appeared on the mountain. Relief appeared on everyone else's faces when they saw Rainbow Dash. Then they remembered the hostage crisis, and reverted back to the demeanor of stunned cattle.
R.J. studied Rainbow Dash for a moment before slowly lowering the guns, although he didn't give them back to Gordito.
"If they're cool, why did this one shoot Flora?" he asked.
"Okay, um, let me think of how to explain this," said Rainbow Dash. "Gordito, I'm guessing your reality doesn't have dryads either right?"
"I would say no, but I would have to double check with Doc," Gordito replied.
R.J. glanced around, as if expecting one of the Equestrians to answer to "Doc". If there had been any chance for a surprise attack from Dr.McNinja, Gordito had just killed it. With a sigh, Dr. McNinja stepped out from his hiding spot as unsurprisingly as he could. The unsurprisingly part of the act failed, as everyone present gave a start at the ninja who had seemingly come out of nowhere.
"As far as I know, we don't. Why do you ask?" he said coolly as he made eye contact with R.J. The Sparklelord look-alike held his gaze. If there was any sign of recognition from him, his face didn't show it.
"Alright, well, its like this," Rainbow Dash said. "R.J, in the reality that Gordito and Doc come from, trees don't have spirits. They're just trees, if that makes any sense."
"So trees aren't alive where they're from?" R.J. wondered.
"Yes, I mean no, I mean, not exactly," Rainbow Dash stuttered. "Wait I'm trying to say is that Gordito probably didn't mean to shoot Flora, although I don't know why exactly he would be shooting trees anyway."
"Hold on, so you're saying that when I shot up into the trees earlier I somehow killed someone?" Gordito asked.
"Oh, no, I'm still very much alive," said a woman wearing a nurse's uniform over a green formal dress as she stumbled into the clearing. "You're very fast, Rainbow Dash," she said, panting as she placed a hand wrapped with gauze over her heart.
"You're a tree?" Fluttershy wondered, her curiosity piqued. "I've always wanted to talk to a tree."
"What was stopping you before?" questioned Applejack. "Plenty of trees in Equestria."
"Oh... well... you know, they don't talk back," Fluttershy said.
"So?" said Applejack.
"Which tree is yours?" Pinkie Pie inquired of the tree spirit, who must have been Flora.
"That one over there," answered Flora as she pointed at one of the pizza trees.
Quick as a wink, Pinkie Pie shot over to the tree, a crazy grin plastered over her face.
"Tickle attack!" she yelled.
"Wait! What are you– Eeeeeee!" Flora shrieked as Pinkie Pie began to vigorously rub the tree trunk.
Dr. McNinja and the others watched in disbelief as Flora collapsed to her knees clutching her side, laughing uncontrollably. Pinkie Pie switched to tickling directly under a tree limb, causing the helpless woman to clutch at her armpit in a useless attempt to protect herself as she continued to laugh.
Dr. McNinja was inwardly glad that his face was concealed by his ninja mask as he felt himself start to grin at the scene. There was something extremely funny about watching a grown woman act as if she was being tickled by an invisible person. When Pinkie Pie started on the roots, the dryad's legs began kicking so wildly that Rainbow Dash started to laugh too. Spike was the next to join in, and before too long just about everyone was laughing hysterically. Gordito and Rarity were the only ones not laughing, presumably because no one had told them that they were no longer being held at gunpoint.
After a minute or so of the unusual performance, Pinkie Pie abandoned the tickling assault and bounded back to join the others.
"Are you ticklish over here too?" she asked.
"Please stay away from me," Flora said.
"That... was... the funniest thing... I've ever seen," gasped R.J., a foreleg pressed against his side.
"Glad you're so easily amused," Gordito said flatly. "Can I have my guns back now?"
"Sure, sure," R.J. said distractedly as he dropped the weapons back into Gordito's holsters. "Sorry about the confusion. So what brings you all to Radical Land?"
Although he had already began to suspect the name of his current location, Dr. McNinja was still surprised when R.J. said it. According to King Radical, Sparklelord was a unicorn who had somehow gone insane and destroyed all of Radical Land by fire. The fact that R.J. was the spitting image of Sparklelord couldn't have been a coincidence. Assuming King Radical hadn't been lying, it could only mean that Dr. McNinja and the others were in Radical Land's past, and that R.J. would grow up to be a mass murderer even worse than Hitler.
Another thought suddenly struck Dr. McNinja. Was there any way to know that R.J. wasn't a psychopath already? The Sparklelord he knew had already demonstrated very high skills in deception and manipulation.
"We're from a land called Equestria," Twilight replied in answer to R.J.'s question. "But it was attacked by a unicorn called–"
"Batman," interrupted Dr. McNinja, saying the first name to pop into his head.
If R.J. was already Sparklelord, the last thing Dr. McNinja wanted to do was give away any knowledge about it. Otherwise, R.J. might turn around and kill them all on the spot. Twilight gave Dr. McNinja a strange look, but to her credit she didn't contradict him.
"By a unicorn called Batman," she said. "We tried to get the Elements of Harmony to stop him, but we wound up coming here instead."
Twilight paused for a moment as if a thought had just occurred to her.
"I suppose I should explain to you what the Elements of Harmony are," she said.
"No need, I know what they are," said R.J. "Or at least, what my world's version of them are. Magic, laughter, loyalty, generosity, kindness, and honesty, right?"
"Uh, yes, that's right," said a very surprised Twilight. "Um, do you know where they are? We saw our future selves pop out of the time space portal in our world wearing them, so I'm thinking we're supposed to find them here."
"Well, they're kind of being used at the moment," said R.J. "See, two out of the six Bearers of Harmony are my parents."
Stats
Page generated in 0.036 seconds
Total duration
1,043 users online
2,206,376 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sooooo, this is the land where the evil unicorn came from!
I really need to catch up on that comic...
Aww... shit
A unicorn named Batman. Best line I have ever read in anything ever.
... This a Dr. Mcninja crossover with MLPFIM.
This will very likely be stupidly awesome.
2453729 YOU FOOL! There are no chopper-headed Ents in Equestria!
Mysterious Stranger, you are my new best friend, Just because you wrote this
2454089 "Stupidly awesome" is just the beginning, my friend.
2454175 *Glances at everything that's ever happened in Dr. Mcninja* ... I'll take your word for it mate
.
Out of a scale of terrible to awesome, this story gets rating of radical! Keep it up, you're synthesizing these worlds beautifully!
2453729
I find the other guy's reply to your comment to be funny because it's clear he corrected you before reading the story himself.
2454078
Aw, thanks. I'm glad I went with "Batman" over "Ganondorf", which was my original idea of a codename for Sparklelord.
If Radical Land actually turns out to be Equestria's future instead of its past, I'm calling it now: Sparklelord is Rainbow Dash's and Twilight Sparkle's son, somehow. I don't know how two mares could produce a male offspring... or an offspring at all, for that matter, but it's magic so I ain't gotta explain shit.
2463664 But it says in Chapter 4... *READ IT YOURSELF!!*
2463787i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/230/329/4b5.jpg
Having not familiarised myself with the webcomics yet (as you requested), I'm unsure if McNinja should actually be aware of who Hitler is, or if Gordito should have referenced Majora's Mask. I'm still also confused as to whether or not Yoshi the raptor was named for Yoshi, Mario's pet.
...That aside...
Plot twist: whaaaaaat???
Radical Land sounds like a wonderful place
Okay, so I'm guessing Radical Land is actually a pre-burninated Equestria, where things were a lot more awesome but Sparklelord wiped out all the things that were so awesome (including dryads and pizza trees). Alternatively, it really is a separate world.
The elements may have originated in Radical Land and been brought to Equestria in the past, or they are multidimensional.
Dr. McNinja's motorcycle they saw just before they went through the portal is probably this young Sparklelord, who will comprehend the joys of destruction by joining them on this little adventure. As for Flora, she's probably gonna burn.
Literally.
Now the question in my mind is how to link Discord to all this. He's the #1 reason I believe this could be a past Equestria, but alternatively he might be a Radical Land native, in which case the question is how he managed to get to Equestria in the first place or, perhaps more importantly, why. And how do Celestia and Luna come into this picture, considering they acquired the Elements to defeat Discord the first time? Or – noting the strange reference to lightning bolts in a stained-glass mirror depicting Discord's first defeat – perhaps you've retconned how he was originally defeated by them to assist in the backstory of this tale?
I could go on with my theories and the implications for such, but I should probably get back to work. Yeah...